How He Asked | Erica + Brian

A grief redeemed in a new and hopeful chapter, and a surprise proposal in nature’s beauty.

Erica lost her late fiance in 2018. This profound loss left a deep grief in her heart—a grief that Brian unexpectedly helped her to carry. And as their relationship grew, so did their shared faith and prayer life together. Eventually, in God’s perfect timing, a proposal followed.

In Erica’s Words

Brian and I met on June 10, 2019 after connecting on Match.com. When we first “matched,” neither of us could believe we had never met before. We were both Catholic, had attended Catholic school K-12 in Indianapolis, and were about the same age. But God has his own plan.

For me, there were two huge milestones in our relationship. One was the first time we went to Mass together. I still found going to Mass very difficult (after losing my late fiance, Christopher, in 2018) and often cried. I was afraid Brian would judge me, or that I would be too emotional to make it through the liturgy.

At that point, we were both very interested in each other, but had never even held hands. And yet, when I started to cry during that first Mass, Brian instinctively held out his hand, allowing me to choose whether to take it, but also offering comfort. That moment brought me instant peace.

The second huge milestone was on my birthday, a day I didn’t want to celebrate. I wanted to skip over it, and avoid anyone wishing me a “happy 30th.” It was all still too sad. But Brian really wanted to celebrate and asked if we could just go to adoration, pray for Christopher and his dad, and take a short walk afterwards.

I agreed, because you can’t turn down time with Jesus! And my birthday was the perfect day to sit in his Presence. The day God knew I needed to be there with him, to gently help me process my grief. So we went, and Brian and I said a prayer kneeling in front of Mary, then lit a candle for all of us.

In that moment, I knew that I loved him and that I wanted to marry him.

Originally, Brian had planned out a whole day, during which he would propose with a hidden photographer at the restaurant where we first met in person. They had a lovely gazebo there that would make the perfect spot. But he just couldn’t wait! He was also convinced that I knew he was going to propose, so I tried to assure him I knew nothing (and I really didn’t).

We went camping with my family the weekend before the planned proposal, and he decided to bring the ring. Brian tried to convince me to go on a walk with my family, but I wanted to stay and read my book instead. I walked into the RV to freshen up, and Brian came in a second later, setting up a video camera.

When I came out, he hugged me and asked if I wanted to marry him. I responded, “of course, but you have to ask me first!” So he got down on one knee and proposed. At first, I actually asked if he was serious, because this wasn’t the first “proposal.” He had often joked around that he was going to propose, but never officially had. He replied that yes, he was serious, and pulled out the ring. So I requested that he ask me again—officially—and I said yes!

Brian and I find it incredibly special that we share the same faith, and that we share a prayer life together. We go to Mass and celebrate the sacraments together. And we both rely on our faith to guide us and bring each other closer to Heaven.

I’m so excited to become Brian’s wife, and start our family with the blessing of the Lord.