How He Asked | Melissa + Santiago

We are honored by the opportunity to walk alongside you in this marriage ministry, from Yes to I Do and beyond, and we love returning to our couples' stories as they continue to unfold. If we've featured your love story in our How He Asked engagement series we invite you to share your wedding with us as well.

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Melissa and Santiago were brought together by a chance meeting at Mass and the encouragement of their matchmaking mothers. She knew their relationship was something special after a first date at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in DC--the place she had secretly desired to to be taken to by a “special someone.”

They were engaged in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament on St. Valentine’s Day. And although Melissa and Santiago couldn’t foresee the coming of a pandemic that would throw their wedding plans into uncertainty, their love from the beginning was founded on something stronger: trust in the Lord and a complete self-gift engraved in the band of Melissa’s engagement ring: “totus tuus forever.” Totally yours forever.

In Melissa’s Words: 

It was a brisk Sunday morning on November 25, 2018. My mother and I were running late for Mass at our parish, so I suggested we go to St. Rose of Lima. We hadn’t been to that church in years, but I always remembered the first time I walked into it: 

I had thought to myself, “this is where I want to get married.” 

As we entered St. Rose that day, I led the way inside--which was a complete “God-cidence” because I usually let my mother choose our seats. I sat behind Santiago’s mom. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but both our mothers had mutual friends that had been trying to get us to meet for years. God’s timing is always perfect though, and he knew this day would arrive, according to his plans.

After we sat down, Santiago’s mom turned around to say “hi” to my mother. Since Mass hadn’t begun yet, they shared some small talk. My mother introduced me as her “single daughter,” and I was completely embarrassed. I could feel my face turning bright red with every word they exchanged. 

Santiago’s mother shared that her youngest son would be arriving for Mass soon, and that it would be great for us to meet. Within minutes, I saw a young man turning into the front pew. I wasn't sure if it was him, but I was in complete awe of how he genuflected with such a reverence and stillness. We were briefly introduced before Mass, and I tried to brush off any thoughts, not wanting to get ahead of myself. 

My mother squeezed my hand and said, "this is the one." I was confused, so she briefly explained that he was the gentleman her friends had long talked about. Santiago later admitted that he had already noticed me before we were introduced. 

Before he could say or do anything after Mass, his mother beat him to it and encouraged us to exchange phone numbers. Santi confessed, "I obviously couldn’t hide the embarrassment of my mom making the big move. The fact that Melissa was still paying attention to me after such an awkward moment showed I had a big chance with her." After this initial interaction, we were both eager to learn more about each other and develop a friendship.

From the beginning, we were very intentional about our courtship and discerning marriage. Our first date was on the feast of the Immaculate Conception. Santiago asked me to attend Mass with him at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC. I was overjoyed. Years prior I had prayed for a “special someone” to take me to the place I had frequented during my grad school days at The Catholic University of America. 

I knew it would take someone special to make this request. And I wanted the invitation to be natural, from the heart--without me having to allude to going to the basilica. When Santiago asked me there on our first date, on such a special feast day, I knew it would be the start of a beautiful relationship grounded in the values of our faith and love for Christ. 

As days went on, our friendship grew deeper and through a lot of prayer and discernment, it became evident that we were called to share the vocation of marriage with one another.

On February 14, 2019, I was swept off my feet and completely taken by surprise once again. This time it was in the chapel of St. Rose of Lima. My heart was already overjoyed to be going to Adoration on our St. Valentine’s Day evening. I didn’t know my mother and Santiago’s parents would also be there, secretly arriving after us and sitting just a few pews behind.

Before leaving the chapel, Santiago asked me to move closer to the Blessed Sacrament. In the blink of an eye, he got down on one knee and professed his love. It took years for us to meet, but Christ allowed us to cross paths when we least expected it--proof that God’s plans and timing are always perfect. It all came down to this moment of my “yes” in the presence of the one whose undying and steadfast love first said “yes” to us.

During his proposal, Santi shared that earlier that week he had asked my mom for my hand in marriage. He then shared his plans with his parents, because he wanted them to be present for this unforgettable moment. Before placing the engagement ring on my finger, Santi said the following words to me: “as I place this engagement ring on your finger, I am saying the words that I had engraved on this ring: ‘totus tuus forever Melissa’ – totally yours forever Melissa.” 

Related: Melissa + Santiago | Intimate Maryland Pandemic Wedding

He later shared that these words were part of St. Louis Marie de Monfort’s consecration to our Blessed Mother from his classic work True Devotion to Mary. Shortly after getting engaged, we completed his Marian consecration and experienced many graces, including a strengthened prayer life together.

When we chose our wedding date, we knew in our hearts we wanted a day that would honor our Blessed Mother. We chose the closest date to the feast of Our Lady of Fatima: May 16, 2020. For our honeymoon, we plan to travel to Rome to receive the Sposi Novelli, the newlywed papal blessing, on May 20th, which happens to be the same date as our godparent’s 20th wedding anniversary. 

Santiago and I have a heart full of gratitude for how God has orchestrated his plans for us and how he has remained at the center of our love story. As we get closer to celebrating the sacrament of marriage, we continue to entrust ourselves to him.

“For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord ’plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Photography: Daniel Martinez