Grace + Jared | Wisconsin Marine Corps Wedding

A wedding set apart by simple, classic beauty. With powder blue accents and a military polish, bride and groom strove to serve both God and their guests, in gratitude for their presence in their story of grace and conversion. 

Grace knew from childhood that she desired a husband who shared her faith. That’s why she never expected to fall in love with Jared, a Marine and devout non-denominational Christian. Their story is one of mutual understanding, refinement, and conversion. In the end, they entered into marriage in a joyful wedding celebration bathed in reverence and beauty. And in another miracle of sacramental grace, seven months after their wedding, Jared converted to Catholicism.

From the Bride 

Having grown up with a father who rediscovered his Catholic faith a decade or so into marriage, I was taught from a young age that I should prioritize marrying a man who shared my faith. That is, if I was called to marriage, and it was always an “if.” My dad never missed an opportunity to remind me that a vocation to the religious life was a wonderful option!

So I prayed for my future husband all throughout childhood, and upon entering college I was convinced I’d meet the wonderful Catholic man God had intended for me at my campus parish. Instead, I met Jared in a constitutional law class junior year, and we began dating just before our senior year. And while he was indeed wonderful, he was also Protestant.

But God blessed our relationship from the beginning. Jared was a non-denominational Christian who firmly believed couples should attend church together, so he attended Mass with me nearly every Sunday. We also had a standing Eucharistic adoration date every Wednesday, which he rarely missed. 

Our difference in faith nearly caused a break-up once or twice, but my saintly mother and St. Cecilia (on whose feast day Jared was born) always managed to smooth things over. She reminded me that Jared’s support of my faith and his own love for Christ were the most important things to focus on.

Not every interfaith relationship leads to a strengthening of faith or marriage, but we tried to be very intentional in ours. While we dated, I spent many hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament, praying for our relationship and for Jared’s eyes to be opened to Truth. 

And Jared, knowing how important my Catholic faith was to me, also prayed daily for Truth, heeding the wise advice of my mother: “Jared, ask God what he wants you to believe about these things.”

The most spiritual growth came after our engagement, however. Jared is in the Marine Corps, and the fall after our senior year of college he moved from Wisconsin to Quantico, Virginia for six months of training. During this time apart, I developed a love for the rosary, praying it daily for him. Meanwhile, he joined a program called Adopt a Marine, where families of faith around Marine Corps bases spiritually “adopt” single Marines. 

Instead of selecting a Protestant family, Jared chose to enter a Catholic family. He regularly attended Mass with them and joined them for family dinners, learning more and more about the faith. 

Our discussions on theology and faith became less tense and caused fewer tears on my side. He began to develop a deep love for the Blessed Virgin and St. Cecilia. And he taught himself to pray the rosary. As I watched both his faith and my faith grow, I began to truly appreciate God’s plan for my vocation.

During our eleven-month engagement, Jared and I had ample time to discuss what elements of our wedding day were most important to us. As a young religious couple, our ceremony took precedence over the reception, which we viewed as a giant “thank you” to all our friends and family who invested in us throughout the years.

The Catholic Church recommends a wedding ceremony without the liturgy of the Eucharist for interfaith couples, to focus on unity instead of division. This prompted a strong desire in us to fill the ceremony with as much reverence and beauty as possible, to make sure our day was visibly focused on how God had blessed our lives--not just on the romantic, “Hallmark-y” elements of marriage. 

Jared and I chose to walk down the aisle together, to symbolize the offering of both of ourselves to God in the vocation of marriage. The choir sang “All Creatures of Our God and King,” and later my little sister led the congregation in Psalm 148, reminding all present where our hearts and minds should lift their praises. 

Despite the mixed religious bag that was our guest list, Jared and I decided to offer a bouquet of flowers to Mary during our ceremony, to thank her for all she did for us while we dated. Two friends, both members of our city’s opera, sang a beautiful duet of Schubert’s “Ave Maria” with such power and beauty that our eyes welled with tears.

When asked about his favorite part of our wedding day, Jared always responds without hesitation: “the wedding vows.” 

Months prior we were struck by a dear friend masterfully projecting his memorized vows so not only his wife but the entire congregation could hear, and we elected to memorize them as a result. Jared and I wanted to say our vows with equal strength, witnessing to the permanent, powerful, and sacrificial nature of Christian marriage, without any fear or hesitation.

I can honestly say my favorite part was the entirety of the ceremony, but my second favorite part is so close a second it must be mentioned with the first. Exactly 364 days prior to our wedding, Jared received his commission from the United States Marine Corps. He promised that day to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America with everything he has, including his life. 

One day less than a year later, he promised himself in marriage to me, promising to die to himself every day, and I promised him the same. I promised I would be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and to honor him all the days of my life. 

A few minutes and one recessional hymn later, I walked with my new husband through an arch of swords under a promisingly bright and sunny sky. I then promised Lieutenant Smith--with a kiss and a sword to the derriere--that I would be with him in deployment and shore duty, in Okinawa and San Diego, and in all the other ups and downs of military life. 

Hearing the words, “Welcome to the Marine Corps, Mrs. Smith!” was a close second to our wedding vows. To me, that was what finalized my commitment. Inside the church I said “yes” to Jared and to God’s vocation for us. Outside the church I said “yes” to the Marine Corps and to all the joys and insanities the years ahead would bring us.

Our wedding reception followed at a golf club near my hometown. Throughout our engagement, we had worried very little about the details of the reception, insofar as they pertained to us and to our likes and dislikes. We viewed our reception as a way to thank the people who had travelled to witness the beginning of our marriage. While this did not mean we put in any less effort, it did mean we felt significantly less stress.

Social media glamorizes perfect receptions, but we were free to focus on the comfort and delight of others. This removed any disappointment if things weren’t “perfect,” or if a song we really wanted to dance to wasn’t played. It wasn’t about us! 

This attitude of centering the reception on our guests allowed Jared and I to have an incredible time, so incredible that we were the last to leave! We waved our guests off as they left, walking to our car with the DJ.

It can be tempting to view a wedding as an event that excuses, or even condones, selfish behavior from the bride or groom. As Catholics, we know selfishness is just another snare laid by Satan to rob us of the joy Christ seeks to give us, and that is never more apparent than in wedding planning. 

By focusing the ceremony on the greatness, majesty, and love of God, and the reception on expressing our gratitude to friends and family, it was possible to have a day devoid of the stress that modern weddings seem doomed to cause. By intentionally planning our day around the true meaning of marriage, Jared and I had the space to simply enjoy the goodness of God’s gifts to us. 

And as an extraordinary example of God’s continued generosity and grace in our married life, 7 months after our beautiful wedding day, Jared entered the Catholic Church.