Gretchen + Peter | Autumn in Baltimore

A TLM celebration dusted with gold and Shire-inspired charm, illuminating the Lord’s providence amid the challenges of COVID-19 and military life.

Gretchen and Peter became fast friends as plebes at the U.S. Naval Academy, bonding over a mutual love of Tolkien and Star Wars. During their second semester at the academy, Peter asked Gretchen out, and within a week of their relationship’s official start, asked if she’d consider regularly attending church together.

From the Bride:

Peter was Catholic, but I wasn’t at the time. I was raised Presbyterian and had drifted from my faith in high school, but had felt God calling me to make him more central in my life. I was thrilled, then, to have a boyfriend who wanted to make faith an important part of our relationship.

Our differences in beliefs became a source of constant discussion and debate as our relationship progressed. I had never met a Catholic who was truly devoted to his faith before, and Peter’s complete confidence in the teachings of the Church was eye-opening. A number of common Protestant misconceptions about Catholicism that I’d held began to fall away as Peter shared his faith with me.

I ultimately realized that God was calling me to come into the Church after I prayed a rosary for the first time, two years after meeting Peter; I’ve been thanking the Blessed Mother ever since for leading me home.

I was received into the Church at the Naval Academy’s Easter Vigil Mass in 2019 with my parents, Peter, and his family by my side.

Peter’s love and enduring patience throughout my conversion process are a testament to what an incredible man he is. He loved me as I was, was never pushy, and always pointed me toward God and the discernment of his will in any moments of uncertainty or doubt about my beliefs or about the future.

After three years of dating, it was easy to see how powerfully God had worked through Peter to bring me closer to him--and how he had worked through me to do the same for Peter. We had been talking about the possibility of marriage since fairly early on in our relationship, but weren’t sure how to proceed when we knew we’d have to spend our first two to three years after graduation living in separate states for our training (he to be a pilot, me to serve on submarines).

Ultimately, after many months of praying, talking, and seeking advice, we realized we’d rather face the trials of separation with the graces of matrimony at our disposal. Peter proposed in front of a statue of St. Joseph, in the garden of our local parish, and we got to work planning an October wedding.

When COVID-19 first hit, we held on to our plans for over 250 guests, hoping things would clear by October. Ultimately we were forced to reconsider when our reception venue dropped out two months prior to our date.

As we discerned what to do next, we realized what we wanted more than anything else was simply to be married, and to enjoy the limited time we had together before the Navy sent us to our separate duty stations.

We decided to move our date up by 5 weeks and to reduce our guest list to 50 family members and friends.By God’s grace, our church, wedding planner, and photographer were all available on the new date. Our planner was absolutely fantastic and helped us navigate all of the changes in contracts and venues that had to be dealt with.

Peter and I have had a devotion to the Traditional Latin Mass since we first started attending together at the National Shrine of St. Alphonsus Liguori in Baltimore. My introduction to the rich traditions of the Catholic faith was a pivotal part of my conversion process, and Peter fell in love with the reverence and beauty of the traditional Mass the more we attended and learned about it.

We knew we wanted to be married in a traditional Nuptial Mass at St. Alphonsus, but we wanted to be sure our families wouldn’t feel alienated by the language barrier or the unfamiliar form--after all, barely anyone in my family had even attended a regular Catholic Mass! We prioritized writing a program that gave our guests a clear idea of what to expect and how best to appreciate the beauty of the Mass.

Music was another priority for us, as it can be one of the most beautiful aspects of the Traditional Latin Mass. While we would have loved to have a small schola sing polyphonic settings of the Mass, COVID made this dream unsafe. We were permitted one singer and an organist, however, which meant that we were still able to be married in a High (sung) Mass rather than a Low Mass (wherein everything is spoken and there is little or no music).

On the day of the wedding, my bridesmaids and I got ready in my parents’ hotel suite and were joined by a number of close family friends. My maid of honor, an amateur makeup enthusiast, did all of our makeup beautifully. I was able to check all of the Something Old, New, Borrowed, and Blue boxes: I wore my mother’s wedding dress, which was beautifully preserved and fit so perfectly that we didn’t have to make a single alteration! My veil was new, I borrowed my mother’s pearl necklace, and I wrapped a blue-beaded rosary--a Christmas gift designed by Peter--around my bouquet.

After arriving at the church, Peter and I did a “first prayer” around the corner of a wall from each other before preparing for the procession. I walked down the aisle with my father to the tune of “Thaxted”--the portion of Holst’s “Jupiter” that is used for one of our favorite hymns, “O God Beyond All Praising.”

Related: A Catholic photographer’s tips for a memorable & seamless First Prayer

In the traditional Nuptial Mass, the first thing that occurs after the procession is the actual marriage of the spouses, so Peter and I were married within the first 5 minutes of the ceremony! Since Peter has Croatian ancestry, we chose to incorporate the Croatian tradition of holding a crucifix while saying our vows (a tradition that we learned about through Spoken Bride!).

Our priest gave a fantastic, convicting homily about the powerful witness of a Catholic marriage in today’s society; he reminded us that neither Peter nor I should ever think of ourselves before we think of one another again, and helped to explain the traditional readings (the discussion of submission in Ephesians 5 can be rather off-putting to modern ears) in the light of Our Lord’s love and sacrifice.

Our singer was phenomenal. She chanted the traditional Mass settings with an ethereal beauty, and made some of our favorite hymns (“Ubi Caritas,” “Anima Christi,” and “O Sanctissima”) come alive for the offertory and Communion meditations and the offering of flowers to the Blessed Mother. We received numerous comments from family and friends, Catholic and non-Catholic alike, about how beautiful the Mass was. It was one of the greatest joys of the day to share the beauty of our faith in this way.

We were incredibly blessed to be able to have a small, socially-distanced reception, with dinner and dancing and all we had hoped for prior to COVID. The smaller guest list ended up being a gift--we were able to really spend time with each of our guests, and we actually got to eat our dinner!

Peter opted to wash my feet instead of doing a garter toss; a number of family members had never seen this done at a wedding before, and commented on the beauty of the practice. Our original dream had been to have a Hobbit party-themed reception, inspired by Bilbo Baggins’ birthday party from The Lord of the Rings. While the venue change made it difficult to fully execute our initial vision, the inspiration shone through in the little details: our cake matched Bilbo’s birthday cake (on a smaller scale and without the candles!), fabric banners and paper lanterns abounded, and the food, joy, and merriment of the night were enough to match any Hobbit’s enthusiasm for a good celebration.

From the Groom:

As all couples who were married during COVID times can attest, the planning and execution of our wedding were an exercise in trusting God and each other. What at first appeared to be great crosses ended up being great blessings: the reduced guest list allowed us to share more time with our guests, and our reception venue canceling on us prompted us to move up our date by several weeks. This change in particular was a blessing, as we found out shortly after the wedding that Gretchen's military orders had changed and required her to report to her new duty station only two days after our original wedding date.

Embracing God's challenge by moving up our date allowed us to have those wonderful five weeks together, soaking up the joys of finally being married and preparing for our time apart. Since our wedding, our intimacy has grown, bolstered by the beautiful Nuptial Mass, the prayers of our loved ones, and the grace of the sacrament.

A friend asked me the day after the wedding if I felt different. It's the same question I've been asked on significant birthdays or at a graduation. But unlike those times, I really do feel different.

Every day, I profoundly feel both the weight of the responsibility for my wife's soul and the graces that enable me to bear it.