Five years passed between the day Susan and Marty met and danced the polka to their first date. In those five patient years, they grew and matured in their own lives, not realizing that their dance at Oktoberfest years prior was the first time they had been hand in hand with their future spouse.
Their wedding was an intimate small-town affair, with homages to the Blessed Mother and their German background. Looking back, Susan marvels at unique way God wrote their story.
From the Bride: Marty and I met at Oktoberfest through his cousin who, unbeknownst to me, was trying to set us up. At the time, I actually had a huge crush on his cousin! Still, I was friendly towards Marty, and we polka danced together. After that, he says he developed a crush on me. We saw each other at the same Oktoberfest the next year, where he intended to ask me out, but was crushed when he heard I had a boyfriend.
Marty later decided to enter seminary and cut off communication with most of the women in his life. We eventually reconnected at a mutual friend’s wedding, which was the beginning of his second and most difficult year at seminary. In just a few minutes of conversation, he found out I was single, had quit my job, and was heading to Spain to walk The Camino.
He had the confidence to call me a few days later and proclaim his love for me. Since he was still in seminary, and I was leaving for Spain in a few days, I left it at “we’ll pray for each other”. Marty tells me now that he wouldn’t be as good of a husband or father without the formation he received during his discernment of the priesthood.
At the end of the school year he discerned out of seminary, and upon leaving called to ask me on a date. Over five years passed between our meeting and first date. God’s plans are so amazing!
We quickly became serious, and three months in we prayed a novena to St. Therese. We were at Oktoberfest again at the end of the novena. In the band tent, “Edelweiss” (from The Sound of Music) began to play, and he asked me to dance because it was his grandpa’s favorite song. I asked Marty what edelweiss meant as we danced, and he replied “white flower”. My face said it all. He already knew it was our flower and an answer to our novena, but it confirmed his thoughts when I realized it too. He now calls me his “Edelweiss.”
On our fourth date he asked about rings, and I showed him a picture of what I wanted. It was an art deco style that looked like a monstrance, and he loved it as well. Around our five-month dating anniversary, Marty proposed with his “Plan C,” with the beautiful monstrance ring, after his first two plans fell through. I always despised the phrase “when you know, you know” but that is the best way to describe our journey!
I’m not the girl who has planned my wedding since childhood--I always figured it would be better to make decisions when I got there with the man I would marry. I also didn’t want to be sorely disappointed if God wasn’t calling me to marriage. I was raised on a farm in the country, and Marty was raised in the suburbs of a city, but we had our wedding in a small town near where I grew up, since that is where we met.
Our two goals during planning were to be a witness of the richness of our Catholic faith for our guests and to throw a giant, awesome celebration! Marty and I were a good planning pair. I took charge of the reception, and he took charge of the ceremony, but we consulted each other every step of the way. He was passionate about the liturgical music, and I was passionate about the food (we served breakfast for dinner). It was fun to collaborate and bounce ideas off each other as we worked through the process.
Marty and I had an opinion and a hand in almost every detail of the planning. We chose to do a lot on our own, mostly because of our budget but also because we enjoyed it. I told him our wedding wouldn’t feel as much like our own if we delegated everything to others. By doing most of the work ourselves, it felt much more gratifying when the day finally came, and we could enjoy the fruits of our labor.
We were married on the 101st anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun in Fatima. It was warm and rainy the Friday before and sunny and cool the day of our wedding. Marty pointed out that it was like the sun miracle. Our color palette included shades of blue with gold accents. Not only did blue look good on everyone, but it is representative of October, the month of Mary.
During our engagement, Marty joked about having the archbishop preside at our nuptial Mass. He knew him personally from university ministry and his time in the seminary. In the end, he asked the archbishop anyway, and he obliged--along with four other priests we knew! Marty’s former seminarian classmates were our servers. We felt blessed and honored to be surrounded by so many faithful clergy. Next, we gathered a choir of friends and former choir members Marty had sung with. The music was amazing and never would have happened without his knowledge and love for liturgical music.
On the big day, my photographer reminded me to pray with my bridesmaids before Mass. My younger sister volunteered to lead the prayer. Up to that point, we hadn’t been incredibly close, but to witness how she had grown in her faith was deeply moving.
We had more of a procession into the church, rather than individual couples one-at-a-time. Marty and I walked in together last. We felt deeply convicted about doing this to emphasize the sacrament we would confer on each other, rather than being “married” by the priest. I could not have predicted the overwhelming joy and love that I felt as Marty and I entered the church.
My eyes immediately welled with joyful tears. Marty, on the other hand, was grinning ear to ear. He reflected later that that is how he imagines it will feel to enter Heaven some day, surrounded by family and friends.
Marty wanted to build a kneeler for us to use at the wedding and afterwards in our home. I wasn’t convinced he would finish it in time, because he had to travel two hours to my parents’ house for help from my dad and his tools. At one point, we disagreed on a reading and made a deal that if he finished our kneeler in time, we would use his choice. If not, I would get mine. I was thrilled when he did finish in time, because it was beautiful and even had a spot on top for a crucifix he ordered from Europe. Now it’s the perfect addition to our home chapel.
We decided to invest in seven months of dance lessons to prepare for our first dance. It was also a great activity for marriage prep, because we had to constantly practice, communicate, and work together. The dance was a mashup of five songs, each paired with a different type of dance: the waltz, polka, a line dance, swing dance, and the Viennese waltz. Guests were definitely impressed, but I enjoyed the growth of our relationship in the process the most.
I was also excited to surprise Marty with a dirndl (traditional German dress). I needed to get out of my wedding dress to be able to perform our dance anyway. He had wanted me to purchase one since we began dating, but I had refused. I ordered the dances strategically: father/daughter, mother/son, and then our first dance so I could change while he was dancing with his mom. It was such a priceless moment!
My father/daughter dance was very special. In my hometown, square dancing at weddings and school dances is common. One of the most well-known dances is called “Farmer’s Daughter.” My dad happens to be a farmer and has three daughters, so we had more of a family dance. Since it takes four couples to perform a square dance, my sisters and their husbands joined in as well.
I did have one dream for my wedding prior to meeting my husband. My childhood home parish had an annual pancake breakfast on Palm Sunday, where they butchered pigs and made fresh whole hog sausage. Because it was my favorite meat, I thought it would be fun to have the groomsmen make the sausage for our wedding at their bachelor party. Luckily, Marty was on board with this plan, and the guys had a blast!
I had a hunch a year or two before we started dating that my husband might be someone I already knew. My hunch was correct, and I was surprised it was a man I didn’t think of as more than a friend for the majority of time I knew him. But this only made God’s plan more clear when he brought our lives together so smoothly and beautifully. He knew we both needed those five years of growth and maturation. I always wanted an interesting love story, and God provided.
In my eyes, Marty is much more faithful to God than I am, but we have different strengths and weaknesses in our faith lives, like all aspects of our lives. He helps me remember that the goal and purpose of marriage is to help each other grow in virtue through life and enter into Heaven.
When two people are different, they complement each other in unique ways, which works to make us better people. It will forever be a wonderful mystery to me!
