When the Ring No Longer Fits
/CARISSA PLUTA
I haven’t worn my engagement ring in over two years.
PHOTOGRAPHY: FIAT PHOTOGRAPHY
My fingers swelled during my first pregnancy and the already snug band became nearly impossible to slip on and off.
Now in the midst of a second pregnancy, my wedding band has begun to feel a little tight as well, so it often remains on my dresser with the other one.
My rings, these sacred signs of the love between my husband and I, of the vows we took, just don’t fit the same way they once did.
When we were newly engaged, the ring that adorned my left hand was constantly being shown off to friends and family. It was pristine, unscratched; not yet tarnished by the wear and tear of daily life.
During the wedding, a second ring was added, even more beautiful than the first. It carried with it a new weight as I promised to love my husband until death do us part.
For the first several months, putting on my rings each morning was almost ceremonial. Never having been a jewelry-wearer, it took awhile for my hand to adjust to the feelings of newness that accompanied it.
But over time, the rings went on more out of habit, the feeling they had brought with them less noticeable.
Similarly, the love we have for our spouse won’t “fit” the same way it did when you were first falling in love, when you could almost taste the excitement and sentimentality of young love.
The honeymoon phase wears off. Life with your spouse becomes routine and mundanity rules most days.
The glamor of a fresh love becomes awash in sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and toddlers demanding a snack.
Then there are seasons when the difficulties and sorrows of a fallen world sometimes hit a little too hard. When you can only just see the familiar face of your spouse over the cross placed across your shoulders.
Your ring won’t fit the same way forever, nor was it meant to.
As you and your spouse grow through the years, the love between you is no longer shiny, new, and pristine but is rather tested and refined with a purifying fire.
