What's in a Kiss
/CARISSA PLUTA
“Is that the first time we kissed today?” I said to my husband as we were laying down for bed one evening.
PHOTOGRAPHY: AMY AND KYLE CATHOLIC PHOTOGRAPHY
We stared at one another in disbelief when we realized that we had waited until almost 10 o’clock at night to show this basic sign of love.
How could something so simple slip through the cracks of our day?
Like most families, our mornings are always a little hectic. We get up at different times (he’s an early-riser, and I always need a little extra sleep after waking up to feed the baby throughout the night). We have to get the toddler up, dressed, and fed. Get the dog out for a walk.
Usually we were in the habit of kissing when Ben was on his way out the door, but when his “commute” looked more like walking upstairs to hop on a Zoom call, it became easy to overlook.
Because if our normal daily tasks don’t get done, there is an immediate, concrete, and noticeable effect.
But forgetting to kiss? The effects are sneakier--more long-term, and quite frankly, far more lasting.
When you’re dating, affection, particularly through sharing a kiss, plays a major role in your relationship. It is how you greet each other and how you say goodbye. It’s how you celebrate and comfort, how you express love and your desire for the other.
But as the years go by, couples may find that affection no longer is a cornerstone of your relationship. This simple gesture makes way to deeper emotional and physical expressions of intimacy. It is quietly shuffled aside, and by the ordinary (and sometimes messy) acts of sacrifice and love.
Love isn’t a feeling, they say. And I understand why.
Those butterflies in your stomach from your first date eventually settle down and those blissful days from your honeymoon period eventually become mundane and routine. While the vows you made can be broken by death alone.
But affection isn’t superfluous in a marriage. It’s a necessity.
A kiss communicates to the other: You are important to me. I will care for you and protect you. And what better way to start the day than with a simple affirmation of the promise you made at the altar?
Ben and I now try to make the intentional choice to kiss every morning. We don’t want another day to go by where we miss opportunities to directly affirm each other and the love between us. We don’t want the other to have to wonder about where they stand, about whether or not they are delighted in.
Actions speak louder than words and a morning kiss says what both of us need to hear.
