When the Holidays Don't Go As Planned
/MAGGIE STRICKLAND
It was not until I was an adult that I truly appreciated the nuances of the Church’s celebration of Christmas.
PHOTOGRAPHY: I’M MARY KATHERINE AS SEEN IN MARY-KATE + FARIS’ EMERALD CHRISTMASTIDE MANOR WEDDING
While the world shouts for all of December about magic and happiness and wonder, the Church waits slowly and quietly through the Advent season, until we reach the feast of Christmas and our great joy at the mystery of God become man overflows. We rejoice with the angels and celebrate for twelve days, all the way to Epiphany.
And yet, at the margins of our celebrations, there are small hints, reminders that the story does not stop with the baby in the manger.
The wise men’s gifts of gold for the baby King, yes, but also the frankincense and myrrh that foretell His death for us. The feast of St. Stephen, the first martyr, on December 26th, which makes clear the price of following that baby in the manger. The feast of the Holy Innocents on December 28th, reminding us that evil has not left the world just because Jesus has come.
I had known these things all my life, but it took a long time for me to understand just what a gift the Church gives us by her insistence that you cannot have the wood of the manger without the wood of the cross.
I had big dreams for my first married Christmas. We had married in January, so by Christmas I expected that my husband would have finished graduate school and found a lucrative job, we’d have a cute little house that I would have decorated from top to bottom, and if we didn’t have a baby in our arms yet, there would be one on the way.
In short, I was envisioning the picture-perfect end of a Hallmark movie and I couldn’t wait.
By December, it was clear that my vision wouldn’t be reality. My husband had finished school, but he’d discerned a call to teach college, and academic jobs are hard to come by at that time of the year. We were living with my parents to save money, so my few Christmas decorations were packed away. And we were beginning our struggle with infertility; I wouldn’t be holding a baby until our fourth married Christmas. That year, I shed more than a few tears over this reality that so starkly contrasted with what I had dreamed.
But the great feast happened anyway, and I found for the first time that I could really appreciate the miracle of Jesus being born into the mess of our world.
He didn’t just descend from heaven as the divine Being He is, but chose to unite His divinity with our humanity. He didn’t erase the effects of Adam and Eve’s sin, but allowed us to reconcile ourselves with God and gave us the hope of Heaven.
My plans may have been a mess, but Jesus was right there anyway.
This Advent and Christmas season may have been difficult. 2020 was, as we were continually reminded, a strange year, and the pandemic may have affected the plans you made for this holiday.
If you are a newlywed and you find yourself disappointed that your first married Christmas is different than you had envisioned, I understand. May you find comfort and hope in the Church’s celebration of this season, and knowing that wherever you are is where Jesus dwells.
About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.