How to Talk About Your Spouse
/CARISSA PLUTA
When sharing your heart through conversation, especially with other married women, you may find yourself wanting to share the challenges and difficulties you face in your marriage and in your role as a wife with them.
PHOTOGRAPHY: KAITLYN HEACOCK PHOTOGRAPHY
However, there is a fine line between talking about your husband and gossiping about him.
How you talk about your spouse and your marriage is important, not only for him but for you. Scripture reminds us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”
Gossiping or complaining do just as much (if not more) harm to the speaker than to the person being spoken about. It can foster feelings of resentment and bitterness that will only grow over time, to the detriment of your relationship.
When seeking wisdom and understanding from other women striving for holiness in a similar way make you speak about your husband in a way that breathes life into your marriage.
Communicate first with your spouse
Your husband should always be the first person you speak to, especially if the problem you are struggling with deals directly with him or something he did/said.
While your husband may not be able to understand your feminine heart the same way a girlfriend can, it is good for your relationship for you to share your thoughts and feelings with him.
Not only does it deepen your emotional intimacy, it also allows you to talk about problems (or potential problems) in your relationship before they worsen.
Related: The Learning Curve of Married Communication + the Learning Curve of Prayer
Choose your confidants wisely
Choose who you talk about your husband and your marriage wisely, especially when dealing with sensitive or difficult topics.
Don’t speak negatively about your spouse to family members, especially your children. Even your parents might not be the best choice for sharing these personal issues with. This could cause a loss of respect or tension in their relationship with your husband.
Confide to friends of the marriage, or people who know and love your spouse and want your marriage to succeed.
Speak with charity and prudence
How would your spouse feel if he heard you speak about him in this way? Or, how would you feel if your spouse spoke about you in the same way?
Remember, talking to a trust friend about your husband and your marriage is not an invitation to vent. Rather it is an opportunity to grow as a wife and be encouraged in pursuing holiness in this life God has called you to.
Speak fairly and with consideration to the fact that each story has two sides. Paint a full picture of the situation. Focus more on how you felt, what you said or did instead of focusing on what your husband did (or didn’t do).
You also don’t have to divulge every little detail of the scenario for someone else to understand what you are saying or how you are feeling. Use prudence when deciding on what you want to tell another person.
Your marriage is sacred, and it deserves for its mystery and dignity to be upheld.
