Lessons for Newlyweds from Meg March
/MAGGIE STRICKLAND
Despite the enduring popularity of Louisa May Alcott’s novel Little Women, not all of the March sisters are given equal consideration, especially in the two most recent film adaptations (2017 and 2019).
PHOTOGRAPHY: ALEX KRALL PHOTOGRAPHY
Jo is the feminist heroine, eschewing traditional female roles to pursue her dreams of being a writer, Beth is the tragic sister suffering from poor health, and Amy is the adventurous artist who goes from being an obnoxious child to a poised and well-traveled young woman.
And Meg, the oldest sister? Meg gets married and has babies almost right away, which fits with the conventional expectations for women in the late 19th century. Because her story centers around marriage and children after she gets married, Meg gets rather sidelined in these films.
In the novel, however, Meg grapples with the same kinds of issues that modern women encounter, particularly early in marriage, and Alcott’s resolution of these problems points at how we might solve them too.
In the beginning of the novel, Meg’s ambition is to marry a wealthy man. Though her family isn’t well-off, they were at one time and she remembers the physical comforts that they had had.
She ends up marrying John Brooke, a family friend with little money and declaring that she’ll be content with a man who loves her, even if they are poor. This turns out to be easier said than done.
At first she is happy in their small house, but Meg’s envy of her wealthier friends begins to steal that happiness and she starts spending money on things they don’t need just so she can participate in shopping trips.
The final straw comes when she spends a large amount of money on fabric for a dress and it means that John has to go without a new overcoat in a cold New England winter. Meg feels so terrible about this that she swallows her pride and goes to Sallie with a request that she buy the fabric from Meg, which she does, and the overcoat can be purchased after all.
In our age of social media, it’s even easier to look at someone else’s life and struggle with envy.
I can tell when I’ve been spending too much time on social media because I start to feel restless and wish for change when normally I’m happy with my life – I start daydreaming about beach vacations or obsessively searching for new furniture.
I often forget that most people only post the highlights of their lives; they aren’t living some kind of enchanted life any more than I am. When I spend more time working on family projects instead of online, I’m much less apt to compare myself to others and I’m satisfied with the life my husband and I have built.
Envy isn’t the only vice Meg struggles with; she also has to deal with a fair amount of pride.
While she’s grown out of her vanity about her looks by the time she’s married, pride manifests itself in a different way in her marriage: she has expectations that she’ll be a perfect housekeeper from the very beginning and far overestimates her ability to execute what she’s seen her mother do for years.
The combination of a rash promise to host a dinner without warning, a desire to make a ton of jam without actually knowing how, and a husband who took her up on that promise lead to the first major fight of the Brookes’ married life.
Both John and Meg decide independently not to be petty and both intend to be the first to forgive, so the incident ends with their reconciliation; they choose to help each other overcome their vices and so grow in virtue together.
There is so much compromise that goes on in marriage, and it’s easy to let pride get in the way, even in the honeymoon period of early marriage. However, I think the advice Meg received before her marriage from her mother holds true even now:
“Watch yourself, be the first to ask pardon if you both err, and guard against the little piques, misunderstandings, and hasty words that often pave the way for bitter sorrow and regret.”
This is such hard advice to follow sometimes, especially if you’re convinced that you’re right or justified in your opinion or reaction, but a little humility can often go a long way.
Marriage doesn’t cure us of our vices, but rather puts them under a magnifying glass because we can see in a new way how our sins affect others, specifically those we love deeply. But, as Alcott’s Meg shows us, working alongside our husbands to root out the sins of both spouses is important.
That cooperative work, along with receiving the sacraments frequently and having a robust prayer life, will help us have a happy home life.
About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.