Concerned About the Material Aspects of Wedding Planning? No Matter Your Budget, Invest in Beauty.
/MARIETTE RINTOUL
Cultural and generational differences can yield surprising comments about wedding plans, particularly with regard to the size of your budget: What people spend on weddings these days is ridiculous! We spent far less than today’s couples and we've been happily married for years!
It’s enough to make any bride feel materialistic, indulgent, and wasteful indeed if she spends more than the bare minimum on her special day. But is beauty ever a waste?
Photography: Belinda Jean Photography
It's true that the wedding industry wants us to spend the most money possible. You can easily feel pressured to spend a literal fortune on your wedding.
However, it isn't fair to hold today's bride to the actual dollar amount of her mother or grandmother.
Older women who spent conservatively on their weddings forty years ago will often say it was a still-lovely day with a white dress, flowers for herself and attendants, a cake and punch reception, and time shared with friends and family.
To make a similarly simple wedding happen on that budget today would be incredibly difficult. Our dollar simply doesn’t stretch as far as it did decades ago
But there’s another concern beneath comments about materialism and spending. Even if it isn't the speaker’s intent, these comments can chip away at the dignity and importance of the sacrament.
Marriage is so great and special a union that Christ performed his first miracle at of one.
Christ didn't say, "They've already had some wine; and after all, it's just one day." Instead, he was generous to the bride and groom at Cana, pouring out abundance at so great and important a celebration as their marriage.
Shouldn't we too find great dignity in this day; two people taking on the serious and beautiful endeavor of this holy sacrament?
I'm not talking about plunging into debt or spending beyond your means. Your wedding budget should be comfortable for you and any contributing family members.
Consider that the day you become one with another and pledge yourself to him before God and man is a day worth making as special as is prudently possible.
We don't find it a waste when a seminarian dons special new vestments on ordination day as he becomes a priest; newly transformed with the power to change bread and wine into Christ’s sacred body and blood.
We don't throw babies into dollar store onesies on their baptism days and consider something nicer a wasteful expense as they become children of God and heirs of heaven.
Therefore, a bride who desires to honor her entrance into marriage shouldn’t be held to a different standard.
Our society tends to favor the functional or profitable, seeing most anything else as superfluous. But a beautiful wedding celebration (no matter what your budget) has value and purpose of its own.
Flowers presented to Our Lady and Saint Joseph with petitions to be a holy spouse, a choir singing gorgeous music which can only lift the mind and heart to God, fine garments worn by the bride and groom, special food and drink shared by our dearest families and friends...these elements can’t be invested in a bank or made useful to the world. Yet we can gain so much from what is good for the souls.
Related: What it Means to Desire a Visually Beautiful Wedding Day
No amount of money--large or small--can make a happy marriage. Happiness, instead, comes from holy spouses showing up every day, giving everything they have and loving one another completely with all of the sacrifices the sacrament asks of them.
However, in recognizing the great graces that come from this sacrament, how pleasing it is to God for two to seriously enter into it, and how beautiful the sanctifying aspects of marriage are. It only makes sense that making the day you pledge yourself to your beloved as beautiful as is prudently possible is a fitting way to honor the gift of marriage.
About the Author: Mariette Rintoul is a wife and mother, married to her best friend, Ethan. She passionately pursues health and holiness in her domestic church—a small 2 bedroom home in Eastern Nebraska. When she's not reading books to little people or cooking from scratch, she can be found blogging about the Catholic Faith, marriage, parenting, non-toxic living, and more at The Natural Catholic Mom...and probably starting another load of laundry.