How to Support a Bride When Her Wedding Plans Must Change
/CLARA DAVISON
Perhaps it happened a few weeks ago or perhaps you got the text today—around the world, wedding plans are modified because of the Coronavirus.
In the last month, three of our friends have canceled their weddings, for now. With each cancelation, I was both heartbroken and a bit unsure of how to react as I watched my friends navigate the unique circumstances around wedding planning in 2020.
PHOTOGRAPHY: ELIZABETH M PHOTOGRAPHY
Here are four steps you can take (right now!) to support your friends or fellow brides who have changed their wedding plans:
1. Acknowledge the Loss
Yes, there are extraordinary things happening in the world causing a global heartache. A suspended wedding may not be headline news around the world, however, for your friend, this wedding was the beginning of her marriage and a major event she had meticulously planned with hopes and expectations for who would be present, how it would look, and how it would feel. Do not dismiss her sadness over the cancelled event simply because there are seemingly more tragic things happening around the globe.
Acknowledge the loss and allow her to express her disappointment in a safe and nonjudgmental space. Affirm her reaction is entirely appropriate, and give her time to process this loss. It is okay to grieve the changes to wedding plans.
2. Offer Help and Support
Planning a wedding is a huge task; after so much work, canceling and rescheduling the big day can feel like an insurmountable task. At the thought of having to redo months of wedding planning, the bride may feel overwhelmed with the amount of decisions and tasks at hand.
Reach out with offers of help and support. Can you help call wedding guests with the news? Do vendors need to be coordinated with for the new wedding date? Are there rented decorations that need to be returned?
Help the bride brainstorm and delegate tasks to family and friends who are willing to help. During a time when everything can feel overwhelming and unknown, it is especially important to make the bride feel she is supported with helping hands.
3. Continue to Check In
No matter how far in advance a wedding day gets canceled or altered, it is a difficult adjustment. After the initial decision is made, continue to check-in with the bride and let her know you are thinking of her during this unexpected difficulty.
Can you send a quick text or email letting her know you are praying for them? Can you send a small “thinking of you” gift on the date of the now-canceled bridal shower? Continuing to check-in after the initial decision will help your friend know that their wedding day is important to you too.
4. Make the Wedding Date Special
Though plans are canceled, couples have several options in how they choose to move forward in pursuit of marriage. Some may postpone the entire wedding while others may have a private ceremony on the original date and a large party at a future date. Regardless of what they choose, their original wedding date will look much different than they initially anticipated.
If you have a friend who has moved both the ceremony and the reception, make sure you reach out to this bride when her former wedding day arrives. This will be a difficult day for her and it is especially important for her to be surrounded with love. Can you have flowers or cupcakes delivered to her house? Can you mail her a card with a thoughtful note? Can you send her a care package filled with some of her favorite things? Spoken Brides’ Vendor Guide offers creative and thoughtful ideas for gift-giving.
If you have a friend who is having a private ceremony, see if there are ways you can still be included in this bride’s wedding day! There are many creative ways to celebrate the new marriage during this time. Can someone livestream the wedding for friends and family who cannot be there in person? Can you decorate the car while they are inside the Church? Can you leave cards and gifts outside their new home for them to find after their ceremony?
This year has turned out very different than anyone anticipated; many engaged couples are experiencing this unexpected stress in unique ways. Experiencing this unprecedented adversity will be a foundation of memories and emotions for our entire world—in an extremely personal way for brides and grooms. Showing your soon-to-be-married friends extraordinary support during these extraordinary times is an act of love as they begin their married lives.
About the Author: Clara Davison has worked as a whitewater raft guide, sex trafficking researcher, U.K. Parliament researcher, swim coach, and freelance writer. She currently works in Brand Management and lives with her husband in North Carolina.