How Men Can Be Supportive in NFP

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BRIDGET BUSACKER

 

Every couple’s NFP journey looks different, especially in regards to the role the husband plays in it. 

Some couples split the tasks of charting, with the woman checking her mucus sensations and the husband inputting the data into the chart. Others talk about the chart findings that the woman recorded each day. Some are altogether separate in the process, aside from regular communication about family planning (which is usually inevitable when using NFP). 

There is no one way to practice NFP as a couple. It’s all about finding what works for you both and falling forward together. You are on a journey to understand the woman’s fertility and how to navigate the conversations of family planning with God at the center of your discussions. 

It’s not always sunshine and roses and there can be painful or hard seasons with practicing NFP, but it’s through the painful moments that we grow and we come out stronger.

Ultimately, men do have a role in NFP, but it doesn’t need to focus on the specifics of charting. 

What men, husbands, need to do in the realm of NFP is to acknowledge the work of charting and the beauty of the woman’s, wife’s, body as its own - her own - beautiful, God-given masterpiece.

NFP invites men and women not to see each other as objects, but rather as subjects. And, these subjects are meant to be loved, cherished, and cared for by both spouses, reciprocating a Christ-like love in the journey of their marriage. This can be a purifying fire, but one that helps to forge and create newness within the relationship.

As a husband, you will be challenged to strip away the lust that cries in your heart through the practice of NFP. 

What does this look like? It looks different for every marriage and it is your duty - your great honor - to find ways to love your wife in this space that best fits you both. 

It might look like coming up with a list of creative ways to love your wife when you’re in a season of abstinence and you’ve prayerfully discerned that God is not calling you to have a baby. 

You can offer a sympathetic ear to your wife who finds charting hard or frustrating instead of trying to immediately fix the problem. 

You may find ways to introduce foreplay into your sex life to help your spouse feel more loved and encouraged in intimacy together, so that you both find it enjoyable. 

Again, this is about your marriage, so get creative. Understanding what makes your spouse feel known and loved is powerful knowledge, especially in seasons of abstinence.

Related: How to Connect With Your Spouse While Postponing Pregnancy

Most importantly, it’s striving to keep communication open and praying for your marriage and your sex life regularly, asking God to help purify your love for your wife. 

NFP is not always easy, but it provides an opportunity for authentic connection, increased intimacy, and rooting out lust in your hearts, so that you can have a thriving marriage and sex life.

About the Author: Bridget Busacker is founder of Managing Your Fertility, an online, one-stop shop of Natural Family Planning (NFP) resources for women and couples. She is on a mission to fuse the science of Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FABMs) and Theology of the Body (TOB) into the everyday practice of NFP. Bridget is passionate about women’s health and sex education that promotes the dignity of the human person by integrating a holistic approach to self-knowledge of the body.

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