Re-Defining DIY: Prayerfully Including God and Family in Reception Details
/MARY FAGAN
On the eve of our wedding, my husband and I weren’t at our rehearsal dinner. No mishap had occurred—it’s just that the event had taken place across town the day before. That night, we were dressed in jeans and t-shirts, preparing our reception venue with a small army of loved ones.
PHOTOGRAPHY: LAURA AND MATTHEW PHOTOGRAPHY AS SEEN IN DEBORAH AND MIKE’S ROMANTIC BACKYARD WEDDING
He rigged up twinkle lights above the patio dance floor with a groomsman, and I disentangled the baby’s breath with my bridesmaids. On a nearby banquet table, my sister decorated the stunning wedding cake she’d baked for us, and in the next room aunts, uncles, and friends rinsed rented dishes and ironed tablecloths. My parents, undeterred by the many details to be arranged, were somehow everywhere at once.
Looking back, I remember being humbled that it wasn’t possible to “do it all ourselves” at this DIY reception. I also recall being a bit embarrassed to ask so many people to help us in this way, instead of inviting them to relax before the big day. I feared that I was taking advantage of their generosity. If I’m being honest, I was also self-conscious that we didn’t have the budget for what I thought of as the “usual” sort of venue—the kind where every fork and flower arrangement has been attended to by trained staff.
But sister, let me share something with you: that vulnerability made way for a unique kind of joy. Through these reception preparations, I beheld visible signs of our loved ones’ love for us. I looked around that night and saw my godson enthusiastically learning the art of floral arrangement with some greenery tucked behind both ears like some preteen Caesar. I saw my father-in-law cheerfully traversing the grounds with a leaf blower, ensuring that the outdoor space looked neat and tidy. I met my future sister-in-law for the first time that night, and she jumped right in and hand-lettered the chalkboard by our cards and gifts table.
I realized, as I took it all in, that our loved ones were modelling God’s invitation to call upon Him.
No detail of our lives is too small—He wants to be included in it all. God wants us to know that we never have to do it all ourselves, and indeed, that we never can. He is the One from whom all blessings flow, who forgets not the smallest sparrow. After all, Christ’s first miracle was in response to His mother’s plea for help on behalf of another bride and groom, who found their stores of libations wanting. In my family’s generous response to our call for aid, they were helping us care for our guests just as Christ did at Cana. And when we re-entered our venue the next day as husband and wife, I felt a renewed sense of wonder and thanksgiving for the love that had transformed the space.
As you plan your wedding, I invite you to reflect on the true purpose of a “reception.” Remember that it is a celebration of God’s overflowing blessings upon you through the sacrament of marriage. Remember, too, that at this event, the two of you will receive guests for the first time as husband and wife. In the days and months leading up to your wedding, do not be afraid to humbly ask for help in preparing for this great feast. Let your loved ones know how much you appreciate them, and also let those unable to help with physical preparations know that you treasure their prayers just as much. Most of all, do not be afraid to bring the details to God in prayer.
In the end, the idea of a “DIY reception” can be a dangerous illusion, for we can do nothing on our own. But when we learn to accept the help of loved ones and put our faith in God, we can trust in His power to provide for us. I can’t promise that the pace of your preparations won’t be harried, or that your best-laid plans won’t be thwarted in some unexpected way. But I can promise that, as you look back on your reception, what you’ll remember most is being surrounded by love.
About the Author: Mary is a Ph.D. in English candidate at Princeton University, where she is writing a dissertation on intercessory prayer and narratology in the Renaissance. She is also a Contributing Writer for Natural Womanhood. In her spare time, she can be found dreaming up recipes for her literary food blog, thelibrarykitchen.com. She and her husband live in their hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.