The Parallel Paths to Holiness in Religious Life and Marriage

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MAGGIE STRICKLAND

 

On the surface, In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden is about life in a contemplative Benedictine monastery in England. But at its heart, this novel is about the deep joy and peace that come from a vocation well-lived. 

The fictional community is inspired by the author’s experience participating in the daily life of the nuns at Stanbrook Abbey, and the characters in the novel are just as life-like. The beautiful depiction of religious life doesn’t make me regret not becoming a nun, but rather affirms the many ways I strive for holiness in my vocation to marriage. 

Godden takes the personal stories of a few nuns--Philippa Talbot, a wealthy middle-aged civil servant, Cecily Scallon, a young woman who has fought her family to enter the community, and Dame Catherine Ismay, who is elected abbess early in the novel--and interweaves them with the story of the greater community. Their lives are set against the backdrop of the Church immediately before and during the Second Vatican Council (1962-5). The Benedictines have a vow of stability, but that does not mean there are no changes, and Godden’s lyrical prose draws the reader into the world of Brede Abbey as its 96 nuns navigate interpersonal and financial challenges within the “great cycle of the liturgical year with its different words and colors” (105).

The nuns of Brede Abbey are not caricatures or stock characters; their struggles are incredibly real, as is their faith. 

When Dame Catherine is elected abbess--a lifelong office--she panics, thinking of what will now be required of her; her only thought is “I can’t.” She goes to the church to draw strength from Jesus in the tabernacle, and “it was as if a quieting hand was laid on her panic; with her eyes on the small flame that had never gone out since the community came to Brede, she whispered, ‘I can’t,’ but it was acceptance now. ‘I can’t,’ whispered Dame Catherine, ‘so You must’” (165). 

Though few of us married women are able to have the Blessed Sacrament so close by, this episode is a reminder that communication with and abandonment to God ought to be our first recourse in the times of suffering and trial. What a beautiful response to a seemingly unbearable burden: she recognizes her inability to lead alone and asks for God’s help, which comes in many ways, both big and small.

Holiness for the nuns of Brede is found in doing their daily work in addition to spending time in prayer. The Rule of St. Benedict calls for monasteries to be self-sustaining, so there are many tasks, mostly mundane, that must be done for the community to function well, and every nun must attend to her assigned work with diligence: “‘We don’t put much faith in ecstasies here,’ Dame Ursula had told [the postulants]. ‘The nun you see rapt away in church isn’t likely to be the holiest. The holiest one is probably the one you would never notice, because she is simply doing her duty’” (55). 

Married life works in a similar way; a quote often attributed to St. Frances of Rome says, “A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household affairs.” Every time I do a sink full of dishes or my husband takes out the trash, despite whether either of us actually wants to do the work, we have an opportunity to grow in sanctity by serving each other and carrying out the duties of married life. The moments we are interrupted from pleasure to fulfill our vocational duty are opportunities to develop virtue.

These duties often change according to the season of life we’re in; newlyweds have different responsibilities than parents, for example. In addition, the transition from one season to the next can be difficult. 

Families thrive when individuals find creative ways to use their personal talents to benefit the entire family.

The same is true in religious communities: with the exception of abbess, the responsibilities of the nuns change periodically and all of the nuns are asked to use their gifts for the good of the community, even if it is uncomfortable. In Brede, Dame Philippa is asked to become assistant novice mistress after some Japanese postulants enter the community because she learned the language before entering the monastery; she takes on this position even though it means interacting with another postulant who is a painful reminder of a tragedy in her past. 

Throughout the novel, Godden comes back to the idea that true, lasting peace comes from living out the vocation that God offers us. But she understands that just because we are called to a particular vocation--marriage for most of us--we will not always be ecstatically happy as the world understands it. The novel begins with a description of the abbey’s motto that perfectly encapsulates this understanding: “The motto was ‘Pax,’ but the word was set in a circle of thorns. Pax: peace, but what a strange peace, made of unremitting toil and effort, seldom with a seen result; subject to constant interruptions, unexpected demands, short sleep at nights, little comfort, sometimes scant food; beset with disappointments and usually misunderstood; yet peace all the same, undeviating, filled with joy and gratitude and love. ‘It is my own peace I give unto you.’ Not, notice, the world’s peace” (3). 

No vocation comes free of suffering, but if we are where God calls us to be, doing our best to carry the crosses along the way, we too will know God’s peace.

About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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