3 Money-Management Practices That Can Strengthen Your Relationship
/Are you and your beloved communicating about money for the first time?
As you enter into engagement or newlywed life, there’s a new weight to your purchases and habits, with the knowledge that they’ll impact not just you, but your spouse. Managing your daily, weekly, and monthly finances highlights each of your individual temperaments, strengths, weaknesses, and formation from your families of origin.
Just getting started on your wedding budget? Read our coordinator-approved first steps here.
As these aspects of who you are are more clearly revealed, budgeting and financial matters can actually become a source of growth for your relationship. Good money habits can also be good relationship habits; principles that apply to money management can also apply to improving your communication, honesty, and intimacy.
Here, for the newly engaged and the recently married, three ways healthy money habits can foster a healthy relationship.
The money matter: Considering joint accounts
The benefit to your relationship: Accountability
A Severe Mercy is a memoir recounting one couple’s courtship, marriage, and conversion to Christianity. As the author and his future wife fall in love, they vow never to keep secrets between them, calling hidden thoughts and actions “creeping separateness.”
Whatever your income, debt, and spending tendencies as a single person—barring serious issues or destructive spending habits—merging your bank account with your spouse’s after your wedding encourages accountability, vulnerability, and a tangible shift in perspective from “mine” to “ours.” Particularly in relationships where one of you tends toward saving and the other toward spending, joint bank accounts can encourage transparency and honesty between you.
The money matter: Identifying your priorities.
The benefit to your relationship: Intentionality and hope
Dreaming together is fun. Do you have a house in mind? A special vacation? Even hopes for weekly takeout and movie nights? Taking a moment to list each of your top 3-5 saving and spending priorities in your budget—in both the near and distant future—grants clarity, deeper understanding, and a sense of purpose with your financial goals that you can take on as a team. Knowing what you’re saving for and anticipating can help you both be intentional with your spending and investing.
Categories you might consider prioritizing are travel, education, tithing, dates, hospitality and entertaining, and gifts for each other.
The money matter: Frugality when necessary
The benefit to your relationship: Hearts of sacrifice
If money is tight—or even if it isn’t—considering your spouse each time you make a purchase or payment communicates respect--particularly if you have significantly different spending habits.
In times you’re tempted to ignore your budget, consider ways to put your finances at the service of your spouse--rather than spending on a temporary or unnecessary item just for yourself, for instance, consider putting it toward a date night or mutual long-term goal, instead.
The dollars really do add up! Keeping each other in mind, even with small shopping trips isn’t weak, fear-based, or passive; it’s a simple, near-daily way to build habits of sacrifice and looking outside of yourself, towards another: the one you love.
We love walking and growing alongside you in the vocation to marriage. Share the money-related habits you and your beloved have found most helpful in the comments and on Spoken Bride’s social media.