Expanding Your Vision of a Bridal Party
/DENAE PELLERIN
Choosing your bridal party can be one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning. Balancing other’s expectations and feelings while also considering friendship dynamics and your budget can cause uncertainty and fear. It may even feel like “ranking” deeply personal relationships. God has chosen people to come and go throughout our lives, and what makes one person “feel” closer than another does not necessarily measure the significance of their impact on your journey.
PHOTOGRAPHY: VISUAL GRACE PHOTOGRAPHY
Growing up, I was part of many unique communities and intentionally pursued those relationships for years. The newest friend at my wedding was someone I lived with! My husband and I chose our first and longest friends as our best man and matron of honor. These were people who had been with us “through it all,” and no matter what life would bring in the future, their presence up until the day we were married was unquestionably special.
Despite this, we still wanted to honor and include everyone we loved on our special day. In Romans 12, Paul outlines that each one of Christ’s followers is given unique gifts that serve the Body of Christ. Drawing on this Scripture, we included many other friends and family in our wedding day, depending on their gifts and roles they played in our lives.
When we began “breaking the news” about our wedding party to those who were not chosen, we shared with each person their importance to us, what gifts we saw in them, how they impacted us, and invited them to be part of our day in another significant way. In this way, we crafted an “expanded vision” for our bridal party.
And so, reflective of their unique roles in our faith journey, our loved ones took part in our Mass or helped us design the wedding program. This included our godparents, family who introduced us to the faith, and friends who were accountability partners or prayer warriors at crucial times in our life. We also invited priests to co-celebrate the liturgy who were important to the discernment of our vocations and careers.
Having these intentional people pray over us the day of our wedding reminded us of the life of faith we had lived thus far. It reminded us that we had a strong community to support us as we became a new family through marriage.
Romans 12 also challenged me to look within our community when I was hiring vendors. Rather than employing a stranger, I first considered family and friends who had experience with hair and makeup styling, photography, videography, calligraphy, graphic design and musical talents. Many of them were excited to practice their art and spend time with me in preparation for the wedding. In fact, getting ready the morning of my wedding felt like friends were coming over on any usual day, and their presence provided me a great sense of calm.
Many of my girlfriends were relieved they didn’t have to buy a one-time-wear dress and be “on display” all day. Instead, they used their gifts of creativity and organization to help me with the little details of the wedding reception. The time we spent together allowed us to share in the joy and excitement of my approaching wedding day with their assistance. It communicated to them that I cherished their presence in the intimate moments of my life. It also relieved a lot of anxiety in the days leading up to the event, because I knew my trusted friends were taking care of things!
Since our actual bridal party was so small, and we had crafted an “expanded vision” of it, we made sure to schedule time during our wedding day to get photos with other guests. My husband and I chose to do a “first look,” and so, before our nuptial Mass, we invited some of our closest friends to come and take pictures with us. This gave us a special and exclusive moment with people who would have been part of a more traditional “bridal party.”
In addition, rather than having a receiving line after Mass, we invited guests to join us in the outdoor space near our reception hall during the cocktail hour. This was a great time to laugh and talk with them before the reception. We also took more photos with our cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends.
At the end of your wedding day, I pray that you cherish how special it was to have everyone you love in one room to celebrate you and your beloved.
Choosing to include them and honor them in special ways was one of the best decisions we made. When people asked me if I was worried something would go wrong, my response was always “no, because I am in a room full of people who love me and will help me.” It was a blessing to be celebrated by and celebrate the people who have and always will love my husband and I, for better or for worse.
About the Author: Denae Pellerin discovered the truth of Christ at an evangelical summer camp as a youth and later made her way to the Catholic Church because of her public Catholic education. Denae loves Catholic Social Teaching, Marian Devotions, and Women-Centered Pro-Life Actions.