How to Support Engaged or Newly Married Catholic Couples
/CLARA DAVISON
People are created for community. For many engaged and newly married Catholic couples, community includes others in a similar stage of life.
Over the last year-and-a-half since getting married, my husband and I have attended six weddings--and have many more on the calendar for the coming year! Suffice to say, wedding planning and marriage conversations are an ever-present aspect of our lives and the lives of those around us.
As friends have approached us for advice as they prepare for their wedding day, my husband and I have discovered a new depth to our marriage. Through many conversations, both separate and together, we have enjoyed sharing and supporting others in their journey toward a Catholic marriage.
PHOTOGRAPHY: EMMA DALLMAN PHOTOGRAPHY
Whether you are single, engaged, or married, we summarize four ways you can support other Catholic couples during their engagement and through their first year of marriage:
Let the couple know you are praying for them—and pray for them
Continually reassure a couple of your prayers during their engagement and leading up to their wedding. This is an exciting yet stressful time in their lives and the assurance that they have friends continually lifting them up in prayer is so important.
Whether it is praying a novena leading up to their wedding day, offering a special prayer on their monthly anniversary, or just saying a quick Hail Mary when you think of them, prayer is always an important way we can offer support to our couple friends.
Ask about the less “exciting” and more serious aspects of wedding prep
Weddings are an exciting time and many people will ask about details like dress shopping and gift registry ideas. But the more serious and important aspects of wedding preparation, such as pre-Cana, do not always receive the inquiry and reflection they deserve.
Often, Pre-Cana classes and premarital counseling can be stressful for a couple as the magnitude of “to have and to hold ‘til death do us part” becomes a reality rather than a cute wedding tagline. During our engagement, it was difficult to find someone to talk to as I processed the more serious aspects of our wedding and marriage.
Create space for your engaged friends to discuss the serious parts of preparing for marriage. Ask thoughtful questions to help draw the couple into meaningful conversations beyond just weddings flowers and bridesmaids’ dresses.
Look for ways to serve the couple during the wedding day
Everyone loves weddings! It is a joy to see people you care about take this big step together; and really, who doesn’t love an excuse to dress up and gather with family and friends? But in the midst of the joyful celebrations, it can be easy to forget that the couple can feel they just ran an emotional marathon.
Leading up to my wedding, I was told jokingly that I wouldn’t get a chance to eat at my reception. To my surprise, I found this was the reality as I visited with guests. With this memory in mind, I always try to approach the bride and groom a few times throughout the day with offers of food, water, and an offer to run errands or fetch forgotten changes of shoes!
Continue to reach out through the first year of marriage
After the wedding day, the marriage is only beginning. The wedding day is filled with family and friends offering love and support, but sometimes it is easy to forget that the couple needs support throughout their marriage.
I try to reach out and offer support to newlywed couples throughout the first year of marriage, inviting them into conversations about the ups and downs of early married life. Transitioning into married life is different for every couple, but regardless, support and love from friends is always appreciated.
There are so many ways to support the couples around you in their engagement and first year of marriage! The primary focus is to simply be available and intentional in your relationships.
What are some ways you have received or shown support to engaged couples or newlyweds? Share your experience with our community on Facebook or Instagram.
About the Author: Clara Davison has worked as a whitewater raft guide, sex trafficking researcher, U.K. Parliament researcher, swim coach, and freelance writer. She currently works in Brand Management and lives with her husband in North Carolina.