Unconditional Commitment
/MARISOL B.
Dear bride, you said yes.
You have decided to build a home; to build a family with a man you deeply love and admire.
You have begun a noble journey; a worthwhile journey. One that may be filled with great joy, and great triumph. And one that may at times appear long and leave you feeling weary.
Photography: Simple Heart Photography, with Something Blue, LLC
You and your husband-to-be gave your yes. The sacrament depends on your free decision and it will continue through your constant and wholehearted commitment. You have become a reflection of Christ’s relationship to his Church and that mystery will be filled with abundant grace, growth, opportunity for self-giving. And at times, moments of great setback.
Success in marriage is a decision. A series of constant decisional pivot points as various scenarios arise. It is not a series of perfect circumstances--since the perfect set of situations rarely present themselves and we cannot depend on those to start doing the things we are called to do, to get us to where we want to get in our life and marriage. Our call to sanctity.
Sometimes we will inevitably wonder whether we made the ‘right choice’, yet instead of wondering whether we have made one right decision, we are called to make a series of constant decisions, and bring those decisions to light--in order to fill them with goodness, truth and beauty.
This is all dependent on our attitude. An attitude that doubts, will say I am not sure, and will therefore ask the question: Should I?
An attitude of decision will say, I am in for life. I am fully committed and will instead ask the question: How will I? And once we start asking how, our creativity engages and the possibilities for growth and life-giving choices begin to be made visible.
“There is always a way, if you are committed.” I found these words inside a fortune cookie after eating Chinese takeout during a recent busy day.
I felt depleted at work and it bled over to my marriage. I posted the little piece of paper on my computer screen to remind me to keep moving forward. I had transitioned into a new role, right when the pandemic hit and altogether, it bred a lot of doubt. I began to experience Imposter Syndrome and wasn’t able to contribute at my best.
As the year continued, I decided to move forward, instead of doubting whether I had made the right career choice. I opted for resilience, innovation and focus. I committed wholeheartedly, and by the end of the year, the fruits of these efforts were made fully visible.
This same principle has worked in our marriage and our constant decision to renew our commitment as the years and seasons go by. It is an act of the will and self-discipline, accompanied by great love for one another and the abundance of grace in our life.
In marriage and in life, success is not a matter of circumstance. It is a matter of choice.
Finding new circumstances won’t make you successful, but making new choices can.
Attitude is simply the way we choose to see a set of circumstances, and when we continuously commit--when we continuously strive for life-giving choices, we can experience a richness in our marriage that is beyond words.
God’s grace is abundant in every sacrament, and we must decide to reach for his grace willingly--one day and season at a time.
Because the truth is, very few hardships in marriage are without a solution. Most relationship setbacks can be overcome with a sense of renewed commitment and the ability to pivot and recalibrate. It is a matter of the right balance between prayer and action (ora et labora).
Dear bride, your yes is fully given. Gifts come in mysterious ways! As you journey together, don’t give up on the call of this sacrament. Doubt doesn’t stand a chance.
About the Author: Marisol has a great love for art and humanities. You may find her designing and styling, or gaining inspiration from books, art, friends and family, or a random conversation with a homeless human in the streets. She is passionate about the art of living in the present moment, building a life of purpose and of finding beauty in every circumstance. Her additional writing can be found at The Maritus Project and Beauty Found.