What Does Sacrifice Look Like in the Everyday? 4 Ideas for Catholic Couples.
/STEPHANIE CALIS
At the altar, spouses solemnly profess to lay their lives down for one another, come what may and even unto death. The call to Christ-like love is a high one, worth attention and contemplation. But what about action?
Photography: Laura Gordon Photography, seen in How He Asked | Elizabeth + Matthew
For me, the gravity and huge significance of my wedding vows are beautiful to reflect upon, yet in all honesty, they sometimes leave me thinking, what now? That is, how, exactly am I being asked to live out these promises?
At the intersection of the theological and the practical is action: concrete steps I can take to embody the sacrificial love my husband and I are called to.
Here, if you’ve wondered yourself how to live out sacrifices in life’s daily rhythms, four practices that have helped me.
Consider your spouse’s love language.
Whether your spouse most deeply receives love through physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or quality time, take time to identify particular ways and times of day in which you can express these gestures to one another.
Do you know each other’s love languages? Find an inventory here.
For us, we satisfy my husband’s love language of acts of service, and mine of quality time, when we clean the kitchen together before bed. It sounds simple, but the time spent chatting and helping one another with chores has become a treasured ritual.
Dream together, and work toward a financial goal.
If money weren’t a factor, where would you go? Who would you help? Talk with your spouse about a trip you’d love to take, a city or state where you hope to live long-term, educational possibilities for your future or present children, and the charitable causes you’re most passionate about. Identifying specific matters you most deeply value makes budgeting and saving feel purposeful. Consider evaluating your budget for areas where you can allocate more to your financial dreams or enacting periodic spending fasts.
Offer up your workouts.
When framed in a healthy context, exercise can bear more than physical rewards. Fitness can be spiritual, as well. If you work out, consider offering each mile or each rep for your beloved’s sanctification or for specific intentions.
I find myself continually inspired by Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati’s motto verso l’alto; “to the heights.” A lover of nature, sports, and physical activity, Frassati strove to live beyond mediocrity, not for the sake of greatness itself or for worldly glory, but as an offering to the Father. I seek his example in times when I feel spiritually or physically inactive, knowing that self-discipline leads to true freedom and excellence gives glory to God.
Engage in one of your spouse’s hobbies.
Though my husband and I initially bonded over shared tastes in books and movies, we also have hobbies we each personally enjoy that the other isn’t as interested in. That makes the times we engage in each others’ individual interests that much more meaningful--my husband loves when I sit down to play a board game with him, for instance, and it means a lot to me when he chooses to join in on a show I’m watching.
What are your own individual hobbies? Consider the activities your spouse enjoys on his or her own, and choose to participate now and then.
Sacrifice speaks a language: I see you. I value you. Your time and interests are important to me. I give of myself to you. What would you add to this list? Share the ways everyday sacrifices strengthen you and your spouse in love.
About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more