Wonder and Delight: Five Stories of C.S Lewis to Read during Engagement

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EMILY DE ST AUBIN

 

“We must not be ashamed of the mythical radiance resting on our theology. . . . We must not, in false spirituality, withhold our imaginative welcome. If God chooses to be mythopoeic . . . shall we refuse to be mythopathic? For this is the marriage of heaven and earth: Perfect Myth and Perfect Fact: claiming not only our love and our obedience, but also our wonder and delight . . .” -C.S. Lewis, Myth Became Fact

While we were dating and engaged, my husband and I spent about a year in separate states while he finished his master’s degree in Ohio and I worked in Colorado. 

As anyone who has dated long-distance knows, it can be hard to think of things to talk about during those long phone conversations and skype-sessions. We wanted to talk on the phone for hours but as the weeks apart dragged into months, and without shared experiences to discuss, we struggled to engage with each other. 

Once we were engaged and living in the same state, wedding planning, apartment hunting, and job searching took over our shared experience to such a degree that we were dying for anything to take our mind off it.

The best idea came to us totally by accident- Eddie (my now husband) couldn’t believe that I had never read The Chronicles of Narnia. C.S. Lewis was already my favorite author, but since I had been unimpressed by the movies they made based on his famous children’s series, I never felt compelled to read them. So we decided to read them aloud to each other over the phone.

We started with The Magician’s Nephew and read all the way through The Final Battle. Beyond the joy of just listening to each other’s voices for a while at the end of each day, it gave us something to discuss and draw meaning from––an experience we both longed for while long distance. While we were drowning in the details of wedding planning and preparing for our life together, it gave us a meaningful and lighthearted escape that drew us together.

Below you’ll find a list of five books from (or about) C.S Lewis to read with your fiancé during your engagement. I hope they help pass the time together, take your minds off the practical details, and reawaken your sense of pure, impractical wonder.

The Chronicles of Narnia

Arguably C.S Lewis’ most well-known work, The Chronicles of Narnia consists of seven stories from the marvelous fantasy world of Narnia.

These easy-to-read books are stuffed with enough metaphor, simile, and allegory to fuel a year’s worth of late-night conversations.

The Space Trilogy

This lesser-known science fiction series by C.S. Lewis is much stranger and geared more for adults than Narnia. In it, Lewis answers the questions surrounding salvation history here on Earth and life on other planets. Essentially, with this series he states, “If Jesus is the saviour, he must be the saviour of the entire universe.”

Till We Have Faces

Till We Have Faces, Lewis’ final and most masterfully written novel, is one of my all-time favorite books. In it, Lewis gives us a dark and deeply romantic retelling of the myth of Cupid and Psyche through the lens of Psyche’s embittered sister Orual.

While not as easy to read as some of Lewis’ other works, this book will invite conversation and contemplation between you and your fiancé.

The Great Divorce

This is a truly fun story about heaven and hell and the roads we all walk between the two every day. Reading it, I came to realize just how well Lewis understood the sinner’s heart.

The Great Divorce tells of an extraordinary bus ride to heaven and the journeys the passengers must take. This thought-provoking novel provides the reader plenty of ideas to discuss and learn from. My husband and I still reference this book and its characters at least once a month. 

A Severe Mercy

I’m not exaggerating when I say that the lessons in this book saved my life. In A Severe Mercy, author Sheldon Vanauken writes about finding God in the midst of his pagan love story. 

While not written by C.S. Lewis, the author plays an important role in the conversion of Vanauken and therefore, a pivotal role in what unfolds in this memoir. This moving story will make you cry like a little baby, but you’ll be glad you read it.

What books would you add to the list? Share your book recommendations on our Instagram page.

About the Author: Emily is a '15 graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville with a bachelor's of science in marketing. Since college, her experience in ministry has included teaching the Catholic faith through wilderness experiences in the Colorado Rocky Mountains with Camp Wojtyla, Core Team with her local LifeTeen, and participating in Young Adult groups throughout her many moves. Emily has been married to her husband Eddie for five years and they have three children together.

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Tips for Merging Your Prayer Lives as Newlyweds

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EMILY DE ST AUBIN

 

Most engaged couples hear from their premarital counselors that it is vital for them to remain faithful to praying as individuals and as a couple. While dating and engaged my husband and I learned that we were both faithful to prayer and committed to its priority in our lives. 

But, our first year of marriage revealed that there were way more practical things to consider than just our love of God and desire to grow spiritually together.

For example, I’m a morning person. I prefer praying early- well before the daily grind begins. I like to wake up slowly and make coffee and snuggle with the Rosary and the Liturgy of the Hours. 

My husband, on the other hand, is a night person. He is often up late with the lamp on after the house and the streets outside have gone dark. He’ll pour over whatever scripture has his attention, allowing the Living Water to wash off his day; and he prefers the Chaplet of Divine Mercy to the Rosary.

Seeing each other’s prayer routine’s up close made us each feel ashamed in different ways. I felt guilty that after my morning routine, I usually felt like my spiritual work was done. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted and just want to turn my mind off- not turn my mind to spiritual things.

He was and is often put down by a lot of “manly” prayer exercises that require waking up before the sun when he simply isn’t conscious that early. I would see his inability to wake up with me as a lack of commitment. He would see my reluctance to stay up late in prayer with him the same way. We both often felt let down when the other wouldn't join in our prayer routines. 

While our commitment to God and prayer was deep, radical, and real- it manifested itself very differently in our different personality types and spiritual journeys.

Marrying someone who has been walking with God for their entire life is a tremendous gift, and it comes with the burden of joining together two well-established and deeply rooted prayer lives.

No matter if you are single, engaged, or married, this is an important conversation to have with the people that you share life with and want to grow closer to God through prayer with. You will need to support, encourage, and make space for each other to worship God in the ways that He is calling you to as individuals. You will also need to find new ways to pray that you can do together.

Here are some questions to help you start the conversation:

  • How would you describe your daily prayer routine?

  • Tell me about some hard times in your life. What types of prayer did you turn to? What brought you comfort?

  • When you have had a big decision to make, how have you prayed through it? -What spiritual devotions do you find most edifying?

  • What do you do when you can’t feel God?

  • What times of day do you find it easiest to pray?

  • What prayer do you want to invite me into? What would you rather do alone?

  • When you seem like you’re in crisis, what is the best way for me to encourage you to turn to God?

Make a plan, try it out, expect it to change. Each season of your life has taken on a new rhythm and tone. Take time to notice the things that have stayed the same, and aspects that have grown into something altogether different. Allow and expect God to guide you and your partner through the changes together- into something completely new.

A word of note: This is not a place to leave any doubt of love and acceptance. Allow your partner to teach you, and pray they allow you to teach them. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide and bless the conversation. 

Whatever your partner tells you brings them closer to God, see it from their perspective- even if it’s something that you’ve experienced very differently. Expect to come out of it with a new perspective.

About the Author: Emily is a '15 graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville with a bachelor's of science in marketing. Since college, her experience in ministry has included teaching the Catholic faith through wilderness experiences in the Colorado Rocky Mountains with Camp Wojtyla, Core Team with her local LifeTeen, and participating in Young Adult groups throughout her many moves. Emily has been married to her husband Eddie for five years and they have three children together.

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