Vendor Week 2020 | Embracing Moments More Than Social Media
/DAYTON & MARIA
Lights. Camera. Post. After a moment takes place, it can feel like a race to document it and post it on social media.
What used to be experiences shared only by the people present has evolved into an event valued by the number of likes, comments, or shares it gets, not unlike a competition TV show where your peers are the judges and your followers are the audience voting from home.
Don’t misunderstand me! We also posted when we got engaged, when we had engagement pictures taken, and we’re excited to share future wedding photos. With a balanced mindset, social media can be a great tool to share moments with a larger group.
Photography: Fenix Photography, Design, & Events LLC
As a wedding photographer, though, what can be problematic is when choosing vendors shifts from Who can capture my day authentically and with a style I like? to Who is trendy or has been reposted on featured accounts and will get a lot of likes?
Consider past generations’ experiences: no app to search wedding hashtags; destination elopements, lavish estate weddings, or rooftop receptions. The quality of a photographer’s work wasn’t based on followers and likes—all that mattered was if you and your fiancé “liked” it, not thousands of others.
Today, so many brides immediately feel overwhelmed by a cloud of comparison when they start the wedding planning process. Naturally it’s easy to lose sight of what is truly important about the day--entering the sacramental union of marriage.
As photographers, we absolutely understand and encourage prioritizing photography for their wedding, but we also encourage couples to focus more on finding someone that is the right fit for them and your day—and less on whose pictures are the first search result on social media.
Do we construct our couples’ wedding timelines to allow ample time to take beautiful portraits of the two of them, including extra time at sunset? Yes! Do we make sure to get “the shot” which shows both their emotions and the scenery in such a stunning way that it makes the perfect wall canvas? Absolutely! But during an authentic interaction, the best photographers will never be so focused on the most aesthetically pleasing shot that the attention shifts to taking the picture, rather than the moment itself.
Of course, as photographers we’re constantly moving, climbing, and laying on the ground to get the best shots, but in doing so we’ll never compromise the moment. If we see your grandmother embracing you at the water station, for instance, we are going to take the best picture, with the best angle we can, at that time. Could we interrupt and ask you both to move over to the flower covered arch and re-create the hug again to make the shot “prettier”? Yes. But we never would.
When you look back at the image years from now, we want you to remember how your grandmother pulled you close, whispered wise words about love, and clutched your wedding dress that had pieces of her own sewn into it. Even though you’ll still have posed portraits with her from earlier in the day, the water station picture is the one you will show your children and say, This was your great-grandmother.
We tell all our brides, “your wedding day is an experience, not a glorified photoshoot.” We don’t want our brides to condense one of the biggest days of their lives into a certain short window, which is why our services include all-day coverage. If we really are putting the client’s investment where our mouth is, then in order to authentically capture the day we know we must allow time for those moments to naturally happen.
As photographers, we frequently think of ourselves as directors. We’ve developed a sense for when it’s time to give direction and when it’s time to say action and then disappear into the background. For example, if a bride chooses to do a First Look, we will do our job to ensure the location, angle, and lighting is the best for that spot, then step back and capture the entirety of the interaction until its natural end.
We don’t have to coach you on how to hug, smile, or cry because the only reaction we want to photograph is the one that naturally happens--which is always the most beautiful.
Have you noticed when wedding stories make the evening news or go viral online, they almost always revolve around an intensely emotional encounter? A bride is walked down the aisle by her ailing father; a handicapped groom surprises his bride by standing for part of their first dance; a letter titled “read this on your wedding day” is given to a bride that her mother wrote years ago before passing away. The meaning of these experiences walking, dancing, and reading can’t be rehearsed for the camera.
The sooner you choose to let go of “the perfect wedding day,” the fewer distractions and greater focus on prayerful growth you’ll experience during your engagement. A wedding is one day, but marriage is eternal. Whether you have your reception in a small church hall, or at the most luxurious venue, you still are experiencing the day with the same people.
You can put a price tag on almost everything associated with your wedding day, except for the priceless interactions you have with your loved ones, whether that’s a dedicated handful or a loving army.
The day you became one in spirit with your spouse is irreplaceable. That is why we believe in moments over social media.
About the Authors: Dayton & Maria are an (almost) husband and wife documentary photography team based in Virginia and the owners of Fenix Photography, Design, & Events LLC. Their business motto: "God writes the story; we just document it." “Moments in life are fleeting,” they share, “so it's our job to capture the most joyous ones for you to remember for the rest of your life."