How to Plan and Enjoy a Sabbath as a Couple
/STEPHANIE CALIS
What do your Sundays currently look like? Do they align with how you’d like them to look?
Personally, I love coming home from morning Mass to have lunch with my family and read a book during my kids’ nap times, yet I admit I frequently spend the rest of the day cramming in meal prep, chores, and errands in an attempt to feel “ready” for the week ahead. In a culture of busyness and distraction, I suspect I’m not the only one.
Photography: Laurentina Photography
What does “ready” really mean, though? True, my Sunday habits help me feel materially and practically prepared, but too often I experience the creeping awareness that my spiritual and emotional readiness just hasn’t been satisfied. Lots of doing; not enough being. I crave carefree timelessness, but struggle to use my time well.
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I love the idea of a true Sabbath; a day to embrace the practices that help me, my husband, and our kids simply enjoy being present with one another in the activities that renew us and bring us joy. Here, for any others like me who desire a restorative Sunday routine, four questions to guide you in planning and entering into a fulfilling day of rest with those you love.
What do we value?
Consider you and your beloved’s temperaments: what relationships, activities, and habits are most particularly important to you? For some couples, the answer might be social time with friends and family and for others, time alone for a date or a few relaxing hours at home. For some, it might be time away from screens, and for others, it might be catching up on movies or a show. For some, exercise is leisurely; for others, Sunday can be a break from the workout grind.
Examine and discuss what each of you values, and build those values into your Sabbath accordingly.
How can we distinguish our Sunday routines from the rest of the week?
Brainstorm and discuss ways you and your beloved can make each Sabbath feel distinctive from your typical weekly routines. This could take the form of morning or nighttime habits that encourage quality time and unhurriedness, like sleeping in and reading in bed, going for a walk, sharing reflections on the Mass readings for the day, or cooking a leisurely breakfast or dinner together.
If you have children, consider simple, memorable rituals they can be involved with--for young kids, practices as seemingly ordinary as attending the donut Sunday after Mass, taking a family walk, or creating a short, Sunday-only prayer routine can become indelible memories! In my family, we like coming home from church to make eggs and toast and try to go on a low-key Sunday outing to nearby playgrounds or biking trails.
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What makes us feel most refreshed?
So many of us wish we had more time for hobbies or have a bucket list of activities we’d love to try “someday.” If you’re like me, perhaps you’ve ignored these lists in favor of scrolling through your phone, only to look up from the screen feeling restless and dull.
I encourage you--along with myself--to take the Sabbath as an invitation to engage in the activities that leave you feeling most alive and refreshed: time outdoors, reading, playing an instrument, or otherwise. Identify with your fiancé or spouse the activities you both love and can take part in together.
What weekend responsibilities can we reserve for Saturday instead of Sunday?
The imminent work week can make Sunday feel like an ideal time to get things done around the house and check off your to-do list, yet in my experience, I so often feel rushed trying to accomplish everything before Monday morning.
Instead, consider the time to breathe you afford yourself when you reserve cleaning, shopping, and organizing for Saturdays instead of Sundays. By doing the bulk of these tasks earlier in the weekend, you provide yourself with a cushion of extra time to get things done, as well as a needed break before your weekly routine begins again.
So before the weekend starts, talk with your beloved about the responsibilities each of you hopes to accomplish, and plan how you can share and complete them as early on as you can.
What about you? If any of you have similar hopes for creating a true Sabbath, I’d love to hear the practices that have helped you do so and to learn about the weekend activities that bring you fully alive. Share in the comments and on Spoken Bride’s social media.
About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more