Using NFP Won't Just Affect You
/GENEVIEVE ALLEN
Most married couples who use Natural Family Planning will tell you that it can be difficult. For some, this is an understatement.
However, we know that NFP can improve marriages by allowing couples to grow together in the holiness that comes with sacrifice.
PHOTOGRAPHY: KAITLYN HEACOCK PHOTOGRAPHY
When you make the choice to use NFP in your marriage, it often feels like a decision that will impact you and your spouse- and only you and your spouse.
While it is true that natural family planning is an intimate act of intentional submission to the will of God for your family, the effects of this submission can affect not only your family, but the world.
The obvious evidence of this is, of course, children. Accepting children is the “supreme gift” of marriage, and the creation of new souls should not be taken lightly.
Spouses should discern the planning of this gift through an open and ongoing conversation with God, but ultimately, NFP is about more than just the nuclear or even the extended family.
Consider the conversations that many of us have had with coworkers or friends who are not Catholic. When the subject of family planning arises, how do we respond? Certainly, it is our right to decline to talk about intimate topics which might make us uncomfortable.
However, if you feel called to speak, think about what a witness you might be if you talk about NFP in an honest and loving way.
So many women are now looking for more natural alternatives to the pill and other forms of contraception- maybe you could be the first person who has ever mentioned a healthier alternative. In a world where you can buy “natural” ketchup, these alternatives should be appealing to many.
Don’t be afraid to be honest- if you tried several methods and found one that works best for you, say that! That is a common experience for most women, regardless of whether they use NFP or not.
Another context in which you might be able to educate others about NFP is when you speak with your doctor or midwife.
Many care providers are extensively trained in the different options available for contraception, and it’s part of their job to be able to provide evidence-based information to patients. However, those of us who use NFP often find that there is a knowledge deficit surrounding the use of fertility-awareness methods.
This is a huge problem for all women, not just for Catholics. NaPro Technology has been useful for many couples who struggle with fertility issues but who wish to treat the cause, not just the symptoms.
Imagine if all providers were aware of this technology and knew how to refer their patients. Imagine if they learned it themselves! There would be better access to this care for all women. Don’t be afraid to ask questions of your doctors and nurses and to provide information to them as needed.
If you actively use but hate NFP, I’m still talking to you. You don’t have to keep silent, and in fact, you shouldn’t.
Hearing about some of the difficulties that come along with using natural methods can help other married couples to not feel alone in their struggles. In particular, if there is an aspect of NFP that you struggle with that is related to confusion about a specific method or frustration regarding fertility options, speak up! This can call attention to areas that need further research or support.
Speaking with your priest, bishop or others in your diocese who encounter families using NFP can also demonstrate that more resources are needed.
Discussing methods of natural family planning and fertility awareness is so important, not only in your own marriage, but for our society. So much of what we see in the media, hear at work, and even have internalized in ourselves is not consistent with what Catholics believe about sex, marriage, and family.
Talk about NFP with your friends, married or single. Talk about it with your family, your coworkers, and your doctors. Talk about when you begin to date someone seriously. Keep talking about it with your spouse.
Our conversations can create real change in our world.
About the Author: Genevieve currently practices as a lactation consultant and blogs with her sister Kat Finney for The Sister Post, a blog offering two perspectives on everything from spiritual discernment to baby gear. Genevieve and her husband Dalton began dating on the feast of St. Joseph. They have two children.