Trusting God with your Family Planning When Physical Intimacy is a Challenge
/MARISOL B.
Going through marriage preparation, we were required to attend an NFP class. Both of us already had great awareness around the formative and scientific aspects of Natural Family Planning, as well as the bioethics involved. We made a plan for how we envisioned our first year of marriage, and we initially agreed that while open to life, we would wait about a year before planning to grow our future family from a duo to a trio.
PHOTOGRAPHY: HORN PHOTOGRAPHY AND DESIGN
However, one day, my fiancé shared that during one of his weekly Encounters (a meeting where a group of men share a Gospel reflection and review life cases in light of our current culture, virtues and vices and Gospel passages – followed by spiritual and apostolic action), he felt called to pray for a honeymoon baby.
After this conversation, we decided to plan our family around that little prayer and continued to prepare for the Sacrament.
Fast-forward to our trip together after the wedding day and we discovered a major plot twist. As we found ourselves unable to physically consummate our marriage during our time away, we went back to our new home a little bit deflated and in search for answers.
After multiple OBGYN visits and a couple of failed procedures, I was finally given a diagnosis and I began a journey into recovery.
I struggle with involuntary floor muscle spasms and I have found throughout the years that there is increased awareness around the topic and about the many women who suffer from inability to achieve penetration or experience painful intercourse.
It may feel like a lonely road at first; however, there are more widely available resources and tools to help with multiple pelvic floor conditions (either primary or secondary cases); including Physical Therapy, dilation practice, etc.
Related: Turning to the Eucharist When Physical Intimacy is Complicated
While NFP has not been utilized by us to avoid pregnancy during the thirteen years of our marriage (because of our inability to have intercourse in the first place), I have found the practice to be very helpful and a wealth of knowledge about my own body and the ways in which I can achieve healthy periods, ovulation and sustained energy throughout the years.
I have been able to notice changes in my body which I can easily modify with diet and lifestyle practices which support healthy female function. And we await the moment in which I make good enough progress in my journey to achieve consummation and hopefully pregnancy.
Read more: Benefits of Charting Beyond the Bedroom
Last year, during the pandemic, we unexpectedly received an invitation to host the image of Our Lady Undoer of Knots and each of the people that had prayed in front of this beautiful image before us, had added a prayer intention written on a piece of white ribbon.
After the novena was finished, we thought about what we would write as a prayer petition on our little white strand and the request was made for a ‘honeymoon baby’ which only God knows how, when and whether to grant.
It is never too late to fulfill a resolution made back in 2007. After all, during the wedding at Cana the Choice Wine, produced by the miraculous hand of Jesus was served towards the later part of the celebration.
We faithfully await the moment when two may become one, and by God’s grace, a family of three or more.
About the Author: Marisol has a great love for art and humanities. You may find her designing and styling, or gaining inspiration from books, art, friends and family, or a random conversation with a homeless human in the streets. She is passionate about the art of living in the present moment, building a life of purpose and of finding beauty in every circumstance. Her additional writing can be found at The Maritus Project and Beauty Found.