It's Okay to Grieve Changes to Your Wedding Plans
/In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, many couples have had to surrender their ideal plans for their wedding day.
PHOTOGRAPHY: JANISSE VALENZUELA PHOTOGRAPHY
Some have opted to move up the date and accommodate less guests, and others have had to postpone it until this season has passed. When it comes to making these changes, there is no right answer, and there certainly isn’t an easy one.
Having to make decisions about how to move forward, contacting vendors to cancel or reschedule services, and reaching out to family and loved ones with the news is a gut-wrenching process for couples during a time that was meant to be joyful.
Know that it is okay (and even necessary) to grieve your ideal wedding day, so you move forward with more peace.
Name your feelings
Sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety--there’s a wide range of emotions you might experience during this time. Acknowledging and affirming your feelings is the first step in the grieving process.
Don’t try to ignore or downplay your feelings by saying that other people have it worse. Nor should you try to talk yourself out of feeling a certain way. None of your feelings are invalid or unreasonable.
Despite the idea of there being five stages of the grief, the process is not linear. You may feel fine one minute and angry or upset the next. Give yourself some grace and allow yourself some time to experience the emotions as they come.
Take them to prayer and be honest with God. Don’t try to put on a brave face when your heart hurts, He wants to hear exactly how you are feeling. He wants to love you in the midst of your pain as much as He wants to be with you during your moments of joy.
Take care of your well-being
Wedding planning can already be a stressful time for a person, but throw in the added anxiety of changing plans and global pandemic and you’re heading for a burnout.
Make sure you get enough sleep, stay hydrated, exercise, get outside, and take a few deep breaths throughout the day. Maybe take some time to journal, paint, or enjoy a glass of wine with girlfriends on Facetime. Take part in activities that you enjoy and that fill you with life.
Making sure your needs are met will allow you to face the challenges from this time with more clarity and patience.
Focus on what is in your control
The uncertainty that accompanies this strange season can be an overwhelming reality for most people. There is so much about this situation that lies outside of our control, and focusing too much on these things will only make it harder for you.
Instead, focus your attention and energy on what you can control.
If you are moving your wedding day up, talk to your fiance about how you can make the day special and meaningful, no matter how different it will look from your initial plans.
If you are having to postpone your wedding, find ways for you and your future spouse can make this extra time in anticipation and preparation fruitful and enjoyable.
Reach out to friends
When grieving, it is easy for people to isolate themselves from friends and loved ones and during this time of social distancing, this is even easier to do.
Reach out to your fiance, your bridesmaids, or even other brides going through a similar experience. Share your feelings and the challenges you are facing, as well as your moments of joy and gratitude.
Allow others to pray for you and accompany you as you navigate this crazy time.
Embrace Hope
Of course, this step might be easier said than done.
Your day may not look the way you envisioned it, or you may have to wait several months for it to come but your marriage (and your wedding day) has not been forgotten by God.
The Lord has called you to this vocation and the graces He intends to pour out on you and your future spouse on this day are real. Whenever your wedding will take place, He will be there.
This sacrament that you are, or will be, entering into will make the Church and the world richer and far more lovely, especially in this time of uncertainty and sorrow. Do not lose hope.
