Editors Share | Accessories that Made our Wedding Attire Complete

It’s our privilege to be invited into your story and vocation. In gratitude, we love to share our stories with you, as well. Today, the team shares about bridal accessories that served as unique ways to personalize their wedding attire.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MATTSON PHOTOGRAPHY

Jizo Zito, Co-Founder and Creative Director

My accessories were fairly simple, mostly due to budget. Since Etsy and the like were not yet in existence, I bought a mantilla off eBay for $30. My earrings and bracelet came from my mother. While the bracelet was new, the earrings were from her wedding day. I also purchased “dressy” sandals on a budget, but then I wore my old ballroom shoes for the wedding reception for my swing-dancing husband. 

Theresa Namenye, Contributing Writer

I am a super minimalistic person when it comes to accessories. I got my wedding dress on ModCloth for $200. I bought some pearl earrings at a thrift store for $5 and I wore a pair of dress sandals that I already had. I wanted my look to represent who I was in real life! I’m not fancy or formal, so comfort and ease were important for me to feel beautiful and truly myself on my wedding day. 

Kat Finney, Contributing Writer

One of my favorite accessories was a “going away outfit,” solely used for the last 10-15 minutes of the reception.  My parents have a stunning picture from their wedding day of them in their “going away outfits,” and it’s one of my favorite pictures of them. I thought it would be fun for my husband and I do our own take on the going away outfit. I got a birdcage veil, a lace cocktail dress, and some pale blue pumps, and we danced out of our reception to the limo in these outfits. It was a fun way to carry on the tradition my parents and their parents started.

Andi Compton, Business Director

I knew I wanted a tiara and cathedral length veil for the ceremony, and when I went in to purchase it I ended up trying on a blusher and loving it. The tiara and blusher have become heirlooms for our family as our daughters use them for their First Communion.

For the ceremony I also wore a crucifix that I still use daily, and has now been touched to relics from all over the globe and is one of my favorite treasures. At the reception, I swapped my tiara for a jewel encrusted comb and my crucifix for a sparkly necklace (which I’ve since lost!). My shoes felt like sparkly Cinderella stilettos and were so comfy I barely wore the accessory I was looking forward to the most: my jeweled jellies! 90’s kids will know what I’m talking about.

Bridget Busacker, Contributing Writer

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to wear for my wedding jewelry or what I wanted to give to my bridesmaids either, but it was quickly figured out by the generosity of one of my bridesmaid’s moms! She had recently been to the Philippines to visit family and she brought back jewelry sets for all the bridesmaids to wear (earrings & necklaces) of beautiful faux pearls.

I was stunned by such a generous gift and it was perfect! It was such a joy to not only gift my bridesmaids jewelry on our small budget, but to have the added sentiment that it came from the thoughtfulness of a wonderful woman in my life.

My aunt and mom also gave me my great grandmother’s pearl necklace to wear, which my grandpa had given her as a gift while he was fighting in the Korean War. I treasured wearing the strand of pearls, thinking about the beautiful women in my life who wore it and the great sentiment it had. The jewelry from our wedding day was such a sweet surprise and it was so wonderful to wear a family heirloom—it felt like having generations of women in my family close to me and praying for me!

A Tiny Chalice Balanced on your Finger

JAY ROSS

When I was asked by a fellow artisan if I could make a chalice for her son—whom she hoped, obviously, would become a priest, I immediately had a ton of questions. 

What metals can be used? Is there anything that can’t be used? How would I use my jewelry equipment to melt that much precious metal and then pour it into something so big as a chalice? After all, I am a jeweler—not a dish-maker! And even if I can make something like a chalice, am I allowed to according to the Church? 

There is actually a wealth of information on this, and it turns out chalices have a lot in common with wedding rings. Maybe more than you think.

PHOTOGRAPHY: EMMA DALLMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Much like wedding rings, it is preferred that chalices are made with precious metal. In the Ecclesia de Eucharistia, a document used for Instruction on liturgical norms, there is an explanation of these intentional preferences.

In addition, Saint John Paul II’s 2003 encyclical Redemptionis Sacramentum states, “Sacred vessels for containing the Body and Blood of the Lord must be made in strict conformity with the norms of tradition and of the liturgical books...It is strictly required, however, that such materials be truly noble in the common estimation within a given region, so that honor will be given to the Lord by their use, and all risk of diminishing the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharistic species in the eyes of the faithful will be avoided. Reprobated, therefore, is any practice of using for the celebration of Mass common vessels, or others lacking in quality, or devoid of all artistic merit or which are mere containers…”

As a sacred artist, these words are encouraging but not surprising. It’s amazing to read a governing church body advocate for artistic merit in Liturgical practice. 

Though God often has other plans for my life,  I have no intent of repositioning myself as a chalice maker After reading this document, I feel it is my duty to inform people of the similarities between chalices and wedding rings. After all, my calling is to make sacred objects of another type--one that nearly all faithful will wear at some point in their lives: wedding rings.

So I dug a little deeper into the question at hand—why must they be made of precious metal?

I asked my friend Carlos Sacasa, a Canon Lawyer and speaker on prayer and Catholic tradition.  He told me, “Yes, you can make a chalice, but the inner lining that touches the host and the body and blood of Jesus Christ has to be gold.”

“Why gold?,” I asked.

“It is a precious metal. Only precious metals are supposed to be touching the host; it is a sign of reverence. Usually the most traditional chalices are lined with gold.”

Now, there are some priests who may not choose this and use glass vessels instead.But the fact that using gold is a sign of reverence really stood out to me. 

I hear a similar question in my own line of work: Why must wedding rings be made of gold? Why not nylon? Why not titanium? The answer is the same as Mr. Sacasa gave me—it is a precious metal. It is a sign of reverence.

But there is something else. The gold in a chalice  is touching the host. 

Am I going to be so bold as to say that we are as precious as Jesus Christ, incarnate in the Eucharist? Not quite. However, I will remind you that we, the Faithful, are the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). What touches our bodies as a sign and symbol of the marital sacrament should be held to the highest standard; especially in the gift that is crafted for a man and woman to reveal their union as one body in front of a congregation at a Holy Mass.

As we think more about the artistic merit, the form and function, of both chalices and rings, they are not merely containers. These are not utilitarian items. There should be craftsmanship and care that goes into their design! 

An extraordinary amount of intention and financial cost goes into the bride’s dress, the dessert (our cake was made with real fruit and flowers by an amazing Frenchman named Bruno), and the decor. Most of these wedding essentials are only enjoyed once or twice. The wedding ring is worn as a unique symbol every day beyond the wedding day. Make it more than a generic container. 

Finally, the occasion of the event requires a standard of reverence in the icons that represent the vows. The sacrament of marriage is a sacrament, and the sacrifice, that spouses perform—for better or worse, sickness or health, rich or poor—on a minute-by-minute basis. Wedding rings are the longest lasting reminder of your marriage vows and should therefore be holy. 

In the celebration of the Mass, Jesus offers his body, blood, soul and divinity to us through the Eucharist. The chalice is the means by which we receive his living sacrifice and participate with him in the sacrament. His offering of himself, as bridegroom, to his Church, the bride, is an image of marriage.

The parallel significance of the sacramentals to be created with precious metals—both a chalice and wedding ring—makes sense in light of the communion of persons and God’s call for holiness through the vocation to married life. 

Catholic wedding rings, if not all wedding rings, should be held as sacred reminders of this holy sacrament. 

Jewelry is a language; wedding rings not only represent but, more significantly, communicate a message of the value one holds about marriage. The wedding ring is sacramental, it is a visible, outward sign which communicates your sacrament to the world. Wedding rings are evangelizing.  

When intention, precision, sacrifice and discernment goes into the process of designing either a chalice or a wedding ring, all who encounter the gift will engage with reverence, with wonder and awe. As an ornate precious metal created either to carry the Body of Christ or to communicate the sacrament of matrimony, these products are holy. 

Something with such meaning and depth should be more than something you purchase off the shelf. Like the Chalice which brings the Church closer to the Eucharist, wedding rings help bring husbands and wives into a sacramental bond. Even more, they bring others into an encounter with Love himself. 

Scripture helps us understand the love God has for his people by creating a parallel with the love between a husband and wife. We are invited to take part in that creative, sacrificial act with Him! I encourage you to approach the sacramental artifacts of your marriage with the same reverence by which you approach the Eucharistic chalice on Sunday morning. By doing so, your marriage becomes a living sign of love: between husband and wife and between Christ and his Church. 

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About the Author: Jay holds an MFA from the University of Central Florida. Jay and his wife Angie are Co-Founders of 31:Four Artisan Jewelry--an all-Catholic design and manufacturing studio based in the Orlando area. They are teaching the trade to their four children, who will be fourth-generation jewelers.

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How to Customize your Wedding Dress

CLARA DAVISON

When I got engaged, the first question following  the initial congratulations was always, “have you found your dress yet?” As one of seven sisters, I grew up watching Say Yes to the Dress and spent countless hours critiquing and comparing wedding dresses. However, when I started looking at wedding dresses for myself, I quickly became nervous. 

None of the dresses I saw online were what I hoped to wear on my wedding day. What if I couldn’t find a dress I liked in my budget (which, as a fulltime student, was very small)? What if I found two I liked and couldn’t decide? What if I liked the style of a dress, but it was the wrong fabric? 

PHOTOGRAPHY: VISUAL GRACE

I finally agreed to go with my mother to a bridal store and shop in-person. As I tried on dresses, I learned I really loved a satin, off-white dress with a dramatic train. I wanted lace sleeves, but I didn’t want too much lace on the dress. I also wanted pockets, which I learned is a very uncommon feature of wedding dresses. 

Now that I could finally imagine myself in a specific style and design, I could not find the right dress. One dress might have the train I wanted, but no straps. Another might have the sleeves I liked, but no pockets or train. I grew more and more discouraged as the process continued. 

My mother suggested we look for an inexpensive “base” for my dress and work with a seamstress to customize it. With this in mind, we found a simple, satin, off-white dress with the perfect train--and pockets. It was a perfect foundation; I spent the remainder of my time and budget customizing more details and features until it was the perfect dress--my perfect dress--for my wedding day.  As you imagine the wedding dress shopping experience, it may be helpful to know some options for customization which may bring your visions and dreams to life. 

Overlays or Underlays

I imagined long, lacey sleeves, and an overlay provided the perfect layer to create the look I was hoping for. There are a wide variety of overlay options, easily accessible from a seamstress or bridal shop. Other dresses may benefit from a sheer underlay to create an illusion neckline. While I chose to go with the overlay option, I have friends who have incorporated a custom underlay option with positive results. 

An important aspect of overlays and underlays involves the skill of your seamstress. When I found a lace overlay that I loved, the lace did not line up with the neckline of my original dress. Rather than hunting for another overlay, my seamstress was able to lift the lace off the sheer base and shift it down half-an-inch to make it a perfect match! 

Belts

When I purchased the very plain base dress, I turned to belts as a way to add some sparkle and texture. I found hundreds of options from David’s Bridal and local bridal salons. I chose my favorites and brought them along to my first meeting with my seamstress to give her an idea of what I was looking for. 

While I ultimately chose not to wear a belt on my dress, the options helped bring my final vision to life. The belts I kept have been shared among friends who also hoped to customize their dresses. 

Splashes of Color

My seamstress suggested  incorporating my wedding colors into my wedding dress. Whether with a belt, tinted underskirt (perfect for cute bridesmaid pictures), or trim, there are dozens of ways you can incorporate color into a wedding dress. You can even do something as small as purchasing a swatch of your dress fabric and dying it to match your wedding colors. then adding the swatch along your neckline. 

These are a few of the many ways to personalize the wedding dress of your dreams! Rather than settling for something I just liked, I was able to create a one-of-a-kind dress that I loved. Keep an open mind as you go wedding dress shopping; think about the possibilities each dress offers, rather than simply focusing on how it looks on that first day. If you are willing to veer from the traditional shopping experience, the options are endless. 

Did you customize your wedding dress? Share your experiences and ideas with the Spoken Bride community on Facebook and Instagram.

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About the Author: Clara Davison has worked as a whitewater raft guide, sex trafficking researcher, U.K. Parliament researcher, swim coach, and freelance writer. She currently works in Brand Management and lives with her husband in North Carolina.   

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