"The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing"

KATHERINE FINNEY

One of my favorite Christmas movies (I have about 37) is White Christmas. There is some timeless wisdom sprinkled throughout the whole movie, but one of the most memorable lines is actually the name of a song: "The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing.” For my husband and me, this happens to be true about the entirety of our love story, and it holds true for us even to this day.

PHOTOGRAPHY: JOY-MARIE MENDOZA PHOTOGRAPHY

The first week or so after I started to take a romantic interest in my now husband Jonathan, I decided enough time had passed since I met him for me to do a thorough Facebook stalk. The very day I chose to stalk him online, a news story had been released by a local news station featuring none other than this Jonathan Finney, spotlighting his dance moves as a medical student working in Children’s Hospital. 

Apparently when film crews were filming the king of a Mardi Gras parade meeting children at the hospital, a live brass band was playing, and Jonathan took it upon himself to break into dance. The film crew took such interest in him that they decided to do a story on him. Imagine my stomach turning with delight as I stumbled across this video of Jonathan, dancing skillfully and doing his best to entertain his adolescent patients. If there was any chance for me to not be interested in him at that point, it rapidly evaporated after watching that video.

Fast forward a few weeks: Jonathan invites me and a group of other people to go dancing at Rock ’n’ Bowl, a local bowling alley with live music. Eventually, as the night went on and our friends left, Jonathan and I were the only two who remained. We danced and talked until the bowling alley closed. 

At one point, while we were dancing, a lady dressed in denim-on-denim (my hero), danced past us and asked if we were married. “If you’re not married, then you should be. You two belong together.” We laughed and kind of joked about it after she went away. We didn’t admit it to each other until way later in our relationship, but we both felt like we agreed with her. 

The best things happen while you’re dancing.

Our wedding reception could be classified as one big dance party. (I should preface here and say that most Catholic weddings in New Orleans typically have the same people and the same kind of good dancing music, so they’re all pretty much one big dance party.) New Orleans weddings are unique in that there is usually not a sit-down dinner. As a guest, you arrive at the reception, grab your food and your cocktail, wait for the bride and groom to show up, and then everyone starts dancing. There are usually no toasts, though sometimes there are short toasts from parents of the couple or the couple themselves. 

At our wedding, we had no cute introduction of the bridal party, no bouquet or garter toss, no other extra events other than the cake cutting. We wanted everyone to just let loose and have fun, particularly through dance. Dancing was what brought us together, and dancing was what we wanted to do—what we wanted everyone we loved to do—all night of our wedding.

I’ve been reflecting on what it is about dancing that makes us so happy. Scripture mentions dancing as a direct response to experiencing great joy and praise for God. “You changed my mourning into dancing; you took off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. So that my glory may praise you and not be silent. O LORD, my God, forever I will give you thanks.” For my family, singing and dancing have been a natural response to blessings in our lives.  

Dancing to good music has been educational for our kids. They have learned rhythm, genres, fight songs (very important to my husband), and memorization. My child may not know how to spell “cat,” but she can sing the entire LSU Tigers fight song—which includes the spelling of “tigers,” so that’s got to count for something.

Singing and dancing have not only been a response to blessings, they have been blessings in themselves.

Recently I found myself caught up in an unspoken anxiety about everything going on in the world today. Only over the past few days have I found myself really thinking about how much I’ve been emotionally affected by it. Only recently have I surrendered my feelings about it to God. 

A few days ago, my kids and I were listening to one of our favorites, “Pumped Up Kicks,” when Jonathan came out of his “work from home” quarters. He said, “This is a good cha-cha dance,” and he started to move to the rhythm of the music, holding his hands out for me to join him in the dance. As I took his hands, I realized we hadn’t danced holding hands together in a long time. It felt like, even if just for two minutes, we were young again, we weren’t caught up in the middle of a pandemic. Just for a moment, we could have been newly dating, finding excitement in our relationship as we tried to find our step together.  

We danced as a new couple. We danced the whole night away at our wedding. We danced when we signed on our first home. We danced when we left that house for the last time. We danced when we tried to get our first newborn baby to sleep. We danced as a family when that baby’s sister joined us at home for the first time. We’ve danced while decorating for Christmas, we’ve danced when we’ve been stuck at home in a pandemic, and we’ve danced when we didn’t feel like dancing. The best things happen while you’re dancing. I recommend you try it.

We’ve updated our Spotlfy Playlist “Uplift | For Uncertain Times” with some of Kat’s favorite sing-along, dance-party classics to offer a mood-boost or song of praise to persevere through a difficult season. 

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About the Author: Katherine (Schluter) Finney is proudly from New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Nashville, Tennessee while her husband Jonathan finishes fellowship training. She and Jonathan have two daughters, Miriam (3) and Joan (18 months). Kat taught high school religion for four years and has worked for Catholic high schools for six years. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, and she spends most of her time styling hamster play-doh hair and cooking some kind of creole dish for dinner.

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Advice from a DJ | Setting the Tone for the Dance Floor

DEREK HALL

At balls and galas in the past, there was a dance of the time, such as the macarena or cha cha slide. In my opinion, the minuet, quadrille, or polonaise are the best part of any historical fiction show or movie. Historically, the party’s dance would be initiated by the guests of honor, often royalty--then the dance floor would be opened for guests to join. Social dancing is not quite the norm these days, but there is an opportunity to have some fun, relay beauty to your guests, and lead them into your celebration as you twirl about the dance floor.

I loathe being the center of attention; formal dances can be uncomfortable bubble of alone time in the spotlight. As a DJ, I have worked with many couples who want to be on and off of the dance floor as fast as possible. The truth is, you and your new spouse are the guests of honor on the wedding day. As you host your family and friends for the celebration, I encourage you to take on the responsibility of opening the dance floor with your first dances.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Du CASTEL PHOTOGRAPHY

If you’re not having dancing, roll the first die of the board games, butter the first bagel of your brunch, bounce the first bounce in the bouncy house. (Yes, you can now have bouncy castles at your wedding.) The pressures we may feel as the center of attention are most often rooted in our own insecurities; rest assured, the other guests will not hold up scores of your dance at the end of the song.  

The truth is that not everyone is paying extremely  close attention to your movements. Some guests watch with admiration, some eat their cake and drink their coffee, some chat among themselves.

Regardless of the attention span of the crowd, these first dances are  one of the few times during the wedding day to have alone time with your parents or with each other. It is really just about the two of you on the floor. Sharing an intimate experience is not the same thing as being stranded on the dance floor. Dive into the opportunity to be vulnerable together, to create a memory, and to savor a moment. When the song ends, the DJ can easily fade out the song, turn the attention to the guests, and keep things rolling.

Though I don’t always enjoy being the center of attention, I love a good dance party. If we replace our fears with a smile and some joy, we can stir up the best start of a dance party you’ve ever seen. Below I share additional insight and advice from my experiences as a husband and a professional DJ.

Learn a new kind of dance

My wife grew up as an Irish dancer and I did ballroom for several years around college. We decided to do a waltz for our first dance--and later did an Irish dance. We worked on them for several months, but for us it was largely a fun project that was sincere to who we are. It was athletic, challenging, and something to do together outside of grad school and wedding planning.

In practicing the steps, my wife and I learned how to dance the movements of a waltz rather than memorizing specific choreography. If things come off the rails in a choreographed dance, it may be hard to adjust on the spot. Give yourself at least a couple of months to learn some specific steps. Get comfortable making mistakes and moving back into the music. Most people won’t know if you mess up, so follow the leader, laugh at yourselves, and enjoy the process of trying something new. .

Pick the perfect song

The perfect song is unique to each couple.  Often, nostalgia has more value than perfect lyrics. Most often, guests are either distracted during the first dance or are enamored by the loving embrace of the couple to pay attention to the words of the lyrics.

If you and your fiance don’t have a song that is extremely meaningful or appropriate for a first dance, choosing a new song gives you something special that will forever be anchored to your first dance. If you plan to learn a kind of dance--as suggested above--ask a professional for recommendations for types of songs to match with a specific type of dance.  

Do the first dance last

I have emphasized the importance of sharing an intimate moment on the dance floor. But consider that your first dance doesn’t have to last the entire duration of a song. I’ve worked with many couples whose  families don’t have a strong dance party tradition.Here’s my pitch: make a plan for your MC explain that the couple doesn’t want to just share a first dance on their own, but with all of the guests--the friends and family who helped them get here. The first dance immediately becomes communal, inclusive, and fun for everyone.

Your bridal party and immediate families can be a part of the plan, and join you on the dance floor after the first verse and chorus. At the end of the song, the next song should come right on and everyone can come in around you. I have had a couple of these types of starts blend right into an upbeat remix or some great sing-alongs (think “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”).  

Get great pictures

So, we have done something to create community and inclusion of everyone in the room. We are making dancing “the cat’s pajamas,” the thing to do. Grab grandparents for a dance. Sing along to your favorite Spice Girls song you drove around singing with your mom when you were young. Burn it down for 30 minutes. Your photo and video are generally scheduled for a short chunk of dancing, and they can capitalize on this initial time with the guests and guests of honor together on the dance floor.

If we have a slow build or if you disappear from the dance party at the beginning of the celebration , you are missing out on a great chance to create and capture special memories of the night.  Eventually, some people might leave, go back to their dessert, enjoy a drink, or get some fresh air. A good DJ or band will figure out how to keep the party going. When you look back at your photos, your favorites may be from those first 30 minutes of fun. The mood for the night has been set. Anything else is gravy.

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About the Author: Derek is one half of The Block Party, a DJ company specializing in playing vinyl, mixing records, and trying to pour as much warmth and friendship into the vendor process as possible. They have done weddings and events all over the country; when they aren't traveling to throw monster dance parties, Derek and his wife Clare are traveling to visit their nieces and nephews or adventuring as a couple.

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