Divine Romance: a Collection of Patrons + Prayers for Your Relationship

The communion of saints is also rich with holy men and women whose lives and spiritualities speak to spousal love, self-sacrifice, and beautiful witnesses to marriage. If you're in search of saints whom you can call upon during your engagement and beyond, as well as devotions you can add to your daily prayers, we have a particular love for...

IMAGE CREDIT: MEL WATSON PHOTOGRAPHY

St. Josemaria Escriva

The priest who founded Opus Dei rooted his prayer, writings, and homilies in the universal call to holiness. He viewed small, ordinary daily tasks as a path to sanctity, particularly for the laity. "Husband and wife will listen to each other and to their children," he wrote, "showing them that they are really loved and understood. They will forget about the unimportant little frictions that selfishness could magnify out of proportion. They will do lovingly all the small acts of service that make up their daily life together.” This novena, inspired by one of Escriva's homilies on marriage, has one set of prayers for the engaged and another for married couples, with piercing reflections on vocation, chastity before and after marriage, suffering and forgiveness, and creating a peaceful, loving home. Feast Day: June 26th

St. Joseph

It's beautiful to imagine the affection and pure love Joseph and Mary must have shown each other and the joys and trials they must have experienced while raising the son of God together. The novena to St. Joseph invokes this great man's strength as a husband and father and his guardianship of the Holy Family. Feast Day: March 19th

St. Gianna Beretta Molla

A wife and mother for modern times, Gianna Beretta Molla famously refused to abort her unborn fourth child in spite of grave pregnancy complications, at the cost of her own life. Gianna's relationship with her beloved husband, Pietro, is worth contemplation and admiration, as well. They constantly wrote each other love letters, were free and sincere in their expressions of love, and even years after Gianna's death, Pietro continued to praise her holy example and ask her intercession for their children. Feast Day: April 28th

St. Raphael

This Archangel is known as the patron saint of "happy meetings" and his name means "God heals". He only appears in Scripture in the Book of Tobit. Disguised as a human, Raphael heals Tobit of his blindness and heals his future wife, Sarah from a demon. In the New Testament, St. Raphael is credited with the healing power of the pool at Bethesda in the Gospel of John: "An angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond; and the water was moved. And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water was made whole of whatsoever infirmity he lay under" John 5:1-4.  Feast Day: September 29th

St. Jude

Healing might seem necessary only for major wounds or transgressions, yet it's in repairing even the smallest sources of division that we find deeper union and true peace. There is value in total honesty and a will to forgive and repair what comes between you; these prayers to St. Jude for the healing of relationships and marriages can aid you in bringing about that restoration. Feast Day: October 28th

Pope St. John Paul II

If this great man, a lover of free, faithful, fruitful, and total love and champion of the human person, seems like an obvious patron for your engagement and marriage, it's with good reason. His writings on truths about men and women and the divine romance of our creation and redemption read like a framework not just for a holy marriage, but a life fixed on responding to Christ's invitation into total communion with him. Here's a Theology of the Body-inspired novena, suggested to be prayed nine days before your wedding (or anniversary!) that invokes the intercession of the Holy Family, the archangels, and John Paul the Great for brides and grooms. Feast Day: October 22nd

Sts. Anne and Joachim

Tradition holds that, like Sarah and Abraham, the parents of Our Lady longed for a son or daughter for ages; after many years, God spoke and promised them a child who would be set apart for him. They are known as patrons of married couples, expectant parents, and those struggling with infertility. Seeking their intercession, in times of both joy and suffering, is a reminder that in his providence--whatever that looks like in your particular life and calling--the cries of our hearts are always, always heard. Feast Day: July 26th

Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin

We chose this couple, the parents of St. Therese, as patrons for Spoken Bride. They are the first married saints from modern times and exemplars of loving purely and entirely, rejoicing in suffering, and creating a home for their children in which even mundane, daily tasks could be consecrated to God and used for his glory. The Novena to Louis and Zelie and Prayer of Spouses and Parents for the Martins' intercession each invite a deeper spiritual and biographical understanding of their life together and unyielding trust in the Father. Feast Day: July 12th

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This sweet, simple marriage blessing that would be a wonderful addition to prayers for friends who are preparing for marriage--or for yourselves.  In a way, wedding guests have a responsibility for spiritual preparation just as the bride and groom do.  Prayers for the couple's marriage and, God willing, future family, is powerful and invites us as guests to experience the wedding in a way that draws us out of passivity; not because it's about us, but because together with the couple, our eyes are fixed on something greater.

A prayer for your husband that speaks the language of self-emptying love of the other. It's beautiful both for engagement and after marriage.

This nightly examen for married couples inspires the living out of your wedding vows, not just in the broad sense but in the details: carefully weighing your words and critiques, spending your time intentionally, and cultivating a servant's heart for your spouse and family.

The theologian Hans urs Von Balthazar wrote, “Prayer is dialogue, not man’s monologue before God.” Additionally, prayer is not a monologue between spouses, but two voices united, crying out to the Father--in suffering, in joy, in praise, in petition, and in all things.  May these prayers bear much fruit in your relationship.

The Surprising Problem with Having a Moral Husband

SARAH SLIVIAK SABO

Women of faith want a man with a strong backbone and pure heart to love and, God willing, raise their babies with. I am blessed enough to have won the love of a sacrificial, patient, and truly “good” man.

Although it's hard to believe now, I didn't instantly feel attracted to my husband. When I saw the way he treated every single person with genuine kindness though, I knew I wanted to be his friend and be more like him. I could write for hours about the way I fell in love with my sweet husband Robert, or for hours about the things he does that annoy me or make me want to scream (just being real here). At the end of the day though, his integrity will help me get to heaven. Although there is always room for improvement, we are both helping each other strive toward Christ in our daily actions. My point, friends, is to communicate that sometimes there is a danger or a lurking little pocket of resentfulness for those of us blessed with incredibly moral husbands.

Photography: Katzie and Ben Photography

I recently vacationed with my husband and our two young daughters in Chincoteague, Virginia. This particular area is small community famous for its secluded beaches and wild ponies. It was our first “real” family vacation and meant a lot to us. There were lovely, idyllic snapshots I will treasure forever: my 16-month-old squealing in delight each time she saw a glistening clam dig its way back into the sand; my oldest daughter’s courage after getting knocked down by a wave; the way my father and husband’s eyes grew big and childlike looking at their handmade ice cream sundaes; my mother’s compliment that my patience with my children amazed her. All of these are like treasures to me.

Yet the mosquito bites between my baby’s fingers, the oozing welts on my back, the biting flies that were so tremendously persistent at the beach, and the broken air conditioner at our house were some other snapshots I’d rather forget. One particular day as we biked through a wildlife refuge, I had a bit of an epiphany.

My husband was about fifty yards ahead of me on his bike, even while pulling both of our girls and a load of beach supplies in a trailer. I looked down at my feet, scarred from reconstructive surgeries, my leaking nursing breasts, and I felt so defeated. Here I was, riding through a beautiful part of the marsh, and I was so focused on the heat and how slow my body was. I recognized that I was defaulting in too self-deprecating a manner and realized I could take a life lesson from this bike ride.

I was bitter that my husband was so far ahead of me on the path even with the extra weight. I was jealous that there was probably a big smile on his face and that the combination of physical exertion, high heat, and sleep deprivation seemed enjoyable to him. Bam. It hit me right between the eyes in that moment: I sometimes feel this same way about my husband when he shows optimism or patience in the face of my own negativity or impatience. I grumble inwardly to God about how he is just more patient, more loving than I, and how it seems to be so easy and natural for him. I see him as a mirror, instead of a helper, for my own faults.

From now on I want to look at my scars and think what I’ve overcome. I want to look at my chest and see the nurturing I do. I will focus on beauty and rejoice in the small victories of character in my own soul rather than comparing myself to someone else. I will remember that Jesus died for me as I am, and that my husband chose me for a reason. I refuse to stare at my handlebars and the mosquitoes landing on my arms instead of noticing the wild ponies grazing in the distance.

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About the Author: Sarah Sliviak Sabo is a wife to her college sweetheart and a mother of two daughters. She teaches online classes for Mother of Divine Grace School and is the owner of Be Not Afraid Learning LLC, a tutoring business. Her life's goal is to make everyone she meets feel loved. 

How to Request an Official Papal Blessing for Your Marriage + Home

ANDI COMPTON

This article was featured on our podcast on 10/20/2020.

Have you ever admired the beautiful, hand-painted certificates at your parish or at a friend's home, commemorating an individual or couple's lifetime or sacramental milestone? This Apostolic blessing from the Pope, known also as a Benediction Papalis, is available to any baptized Catholic. Requesting a blessing from the Holy Father, along with a certificate that tangibly commemorates that blessing, is a surprisingly simple process that costs under $50 to cover the cost of the hand-drawn and lettered parchment and the shipping from Vatican City (wedding or Christmas gifts, anyone?).

The Apostolic Blessing is granted for Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Priestly Ordination, Religious Profession, Secular Consecration, Ordinations of Permanent Deacons, marriage anniversaries (10, 25, 40, 50, 60 years), birthdays (18, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100), and upon Catholic individuals or families.

Requests for Papal Blessings on parchment are only available online as of March 10, 2019. There are several beautiful parchments available to choose from, ranging from €18-26. The time required for receiving the parchment is approximately 20 days from the date the request is received, but plan on one month just to be sure it arrives on time. Postage is €18 with DHL Worldwide.

A statement from your diocese or the recipient’s diocese to certify that they are in good standing with the church is no longer required, however you are responsible for declaring that the person(s) you are requesting the blessing for are baptized Catholics, living a Christian life, are not participating in any groups hostile to the faith, are married in the Church, are not under any canonical penalties, and do not hold public office or public roles.

https://www.elemosineria.va/parchments/

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About the Author: Andi Compton is Spoken Bride's Business Director. She is the owner of Now That's a Party where she coordinates weddings, fundraising galas, and social events. Read more

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Editors' Picks | Vol. 2: Love Songs

At Spoken Bride, we love a good book, a good meal, a standout statement necklace, a heel you can dance in, and the list goes on. And when we make those discoveries, we want to tell everyone. So every month or two, we're sharing our latest and favorite finds in everything engagement, wedding, and honeymoon related.

Late summer's got us thinking about long, leisurely talks outside as the sun goes down and evening sets in--how could a little music not improve on the atmosphere (and maybe encourage a spontaneous dance)? Below, a few of our favorite love songs and first dance contenders. Click on the titles to listen in Spotify!

PHOTOGRAPHY: KINSEY MHIRE PHOTOGRAPHY, seen in Emma + Mark's Edwardian-inspired wedding

Andi, Business Director

 Colbie Caillait, "I Do:" I love how just casual and playful this song is and it brings a smile to my face. Definitely a good pick for an informal reception, maybe even one with a beach theme.

The Lumineers, "Ho Hey:" I coordinated a wedding where this was the song, and it made me love it a million times more than I already did. Sweet lyrics, with a fun beat and just a hint of quirk.

Michael Buble, "The Way You Look Tonight:" I chose Michael Buble's version of this standard because it's a little more upbeat and jazzy than other renditions, yet still a classic you can dance to every anniversary and never tire of hearing.

Matt Maher, "Set Me As a Seal:" It's a classic! I loved when my husband would sing this to me while we were engaged.

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Elise, Social Media Coordinator

Jason Mraz, "I Won't Give Up": This song came out when I was studying abroad in Rome, during which my fiance Hunter and I had not seen each other for five months. The song gave me courage to keep pursuing our relationship though we were hundreds of miles apart. I love the line, "And God knows we're worth it".

Sleeping at Last, "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)": This is a bit of a slower song but I recently discovered it through a friend's wedding video and I fell in love. Such a dreamy song!

Harry Connick Jr., "It Had to Be You": This was my parents' wedding song, so I grew up with these tongue-in-check lyrics filling my household. I think it's a fun song and is great for a first dance.

Aretha Franklin, "At Last": An absolute classic that I've loved since college, this song always reminds me of the joy found in marriage, as it's expressed perfectly in Scripture: "Then the man said, 'This AT LAST is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man" (Genesis 2:23).

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Jiza, Co-Founder + Creative Director

George Strait, "I Cross My Heart:" Just a good, classic country love song.

James Taylor, "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You):" Another classic throwback!

Jack Johnson, "Better Together:" So cute, laid-back, and fun.

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Stephanie, Co-Founder + Editor in Chief

Dee Simone, "Lovesick:" The bride in the Song of Songs is all of us: deeply longing to find her love; on edge with hope and anticipation; freely willing to give herself to him entirely. "Is that your hand at the door?" Simone begins. I felt a pang in my chest, then sobbed the first time I heard this song written from the bride's perspective. The poetry and soaring piano and string arrangement makes me ache and is, in a word, breathtaking.

Jon Foreman, "In My Arms:" "Love, we sleep apart for the last time," sings Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot, on this solo recording; a tender whisper of a song that speaks to the dream and promise of two lives becoming one.

Brooke Fraser, "Something In the Water:" Hand claps, a driving beat, and relentlessly sunny images of wine on a summer night, lazing in a hammock, and daydreaming about your beloved: this is the sound of being joyously, boundlessly in love.

Peter Gabriel, "In Your Eyes:" This song is a classic, and with good reason. Most mainstream ballads don't touch on the less emotional, more spiritually-based aspects of love, and because "In Your Eyes" does, maybe that's why it's endured since the 80s. "The grand facade so soon will burn/without a noise, without my pride/I reach out from the inside:" looking outside of your own self, making yourself a gift, vulnerable yet unafraid of being truly seen and known, is the stuff marriage is made of.

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Listen to all of the editor's picks on various playlists over on Spotify. We love making new discoveries through each of you! Help our community grow and share your favorite love songs or first dance pick in the comments!