From the Founders | An End, and a Beginning.

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To our Brides and Readers,

Since our founding six years ago we have always sought a personal, honest, approachable relationship with you through every medium we use to communicate. Today we’re here to share some some stirrings of our hearts, and some significant news:

In January 2022, we at Spoken Bride will be concluding our ministry.

Gosh, it feels like a big exhale, but also like a bated breath, to publish these words. Over the past year we’ve loved working alongside our team of unbelievably creative, hardworking, prayerful women, pursuing our mission to highlight all that is good, true, and beautiful about Catholic marriage. We have shed tears of joy and wonder over every single gallery and video you’ve shared with us, cheered on our community of Catholic vendors, and most of all, learned so much from the stories, intentions, and insights you’ve entrusted us to tell. 

And yet. From the start we’ve aimed to create a company culture where vocation is foremost. What would a marriage ministry be, really, if we didn’t prioritize our own marriages and calls, trusting that the Lord blesses saying yes to Him in every season? It felt like a huge, irrational surprise when we felt the Holy Spirit nudging us, with ever-increasing clarity, toward transitioning away from this work we love and believe in so deeply, turning our gaze inward and ahead. Amid all the passion we feel for marriages that will change the world, we’ve realized the necessity–and goodness–of changing the world in the hiddenness of our individual marriages and families, and we look to the season ahead with peace and resolve.

What does this mean for you, the invaluable readers who’ve joined us in this work through your comments, intercession, writing, testimonies, and investment? Here, a few important points about our conclusion:

Will Spoken Bride’s content be going away?

No! Our website, social media, Vendor Guide, and podcast will remain available, though inactive. No new content will be produced after January 31, 2022, but you’ll have continued access to finding Catholic wedding vendors, browsing our Wedding Directory for inspiration, and listening to three seasons’ worth of practical and spiritual support for brides and newlyweds. 

Wait! I haven’t finished my wedding program.

We’ve got you! All of our customizable digital products–including wedding programs, stationery suites, and thank you notes–come with free lifetime access to our editing software. Once you’ve purchased and received your products, they’re yours for good to customize and print. Bear in mind that these products are proprietary and copyrighted, and are for your personal use only.

Speaking of programs, can I still purchase one? Will your shop stay open?

The Spoken Bride Shop, which includes our best-selling Catholic wedding programs along with a range of other products for your wedding liturgy and home, is open through December 30, 2021. 

There are two essential, endlessly inspiring ideas we’d like to leave you with– ideas we endeavor to worship and live by. First, the Lord is the ultimate artist. 

Only a perfectly creative Creator can design specific, indelible love stories marked with infinite expressions of His loving hand. Every vocation, including the call to marriage, is a divine romance. Any desire you experience for a beautiful wedding isn’t shallow or insignificant. When held in a balanced perspective, that desire is a reflection of the Father’s own all-encompassing beauty and goodness.

Your wedding offers you and, by extension, everyone present, a window into this sacred beauty. Beauty is a bridge, communicating a depth of understanding that surpasses words and points us to its source. When you deeply love your Catholic faith, drawing your loved ones’ attention to beauty and goodness offers them a glimpse of what God is like. And that glimpse has the power to speak volumes– to pierce and awaken.

Second, He is the ultimate host.

If goodness, truth, and beauty are a bridge, where do they lead? To the heart of the Father. Always, he beckons us and meets us right where we are. He invites us.

Our Catholic faith can extend an invitation, not build a wall. It can communicate through those things unspoken that stir the heart to consider its purpose and to embrace its ache for the eternal. Your wedding day, and marriage, can embody the love of God for his children and foretell the heavenly wedding feast–the ultimate invitation. We’re all called to the banquet.

From us to you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

In whatever capacity you’ve encountered Spoken Bride over the years, we are beyond grateful for all that you are. We sincerely hope your experience was just that: an encounter, real and true without artifice, unafraid of the Cross, a source of encouragement and positivity. 

We have loved serving you, and though it’s the end of our active work on this ministry, don’t lose sight of the fact that your wedding day is anything but: it’s a beginning. Let’s begin.

In Jesus, through Mary,

Andi Compton and Stephanie Calis

Spoken Bride, Co-Founders & Owners

Image credits: Elissa Voss Photography | Claire Watson Photography

 
 


Lord God, from You every family in Heaven and on earth takes its name. Father, You are love and life.

 Through Your Son, Jesus Christ, born of woman, and through the Holy Spirit, the fountain of divine charity, grant that every family on earth may become for each successive generation a true shrine of life and love.

Grant that Your grace may guide the thoughts and actions of husbands and wives for the good of their families and of all the families in the world.

Grant that the young may find in the family solid support for their human dignity and for their growth in truth and love.

Grant that love, strengthened by the grace of the sacrament of marriage, may prove mightier than all the weaknesses and trials through which our families sometimes pass.

Through the intercession of the Holy Family of Nazareth, grant that the Church may fruitfully carry out her worldwide mission in the family and through the family.

We ask this of You, Who is life, truth and love with the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

 - Prayer of John Paul II for Families

Brittney + Billy | Downtown Classic Wedding

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Brittney and Bill met through the scholarship program at their university, and met their future wedding coordinators through another wedding they both participated in. They exchanged vows  in the presence of friends and family from a variety of vocations, in rich jewel tones and a timeless, classic setting.

From the Wedding Coordinators:

We were fortunate enough to have coordinated a past wedding where Brittney was a bridesmaid and Bill was a ceremony musician. We had a strong sense that at some point after their college graduation, an official engagement was likely to happen….and it did! 

The program through which Brittney and Bill met focuses on preparing students for leadership in the Church, whether their vocation is religious life or found within being part of the laity. It was no surprise, then, that both of them would go on to take positions working for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis: she as Coordinator of Evangelization and Discipleship at a local Indianapolis parish and he as Pastoral Associate in a nearby small town. 

As they planned their engagement, we were so impressed with how their wedding focused on the Church. Concelebrating the Mass were several priests: the Director of Vocations for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis (the groom’s employer), the Director of Seminarians (the bride’s employer), and a Benedictine monk and professor from St. Meinrad Seminary. The wedding party included a novice nun and a former seminary student, plus several recently married bridesmaids and groomsmen, rounding out a beautiful example of the different vocations to which God calls us!

The morning of the wedding was clear and beautiful! The church, St. John the Evangelist in downtown Covington Kentucky, is a beautiful example of German Gothic architecture. For the Mass, the couple opted for a full worship aid-style program to ensure their guests all felt comfortable with the liturgy. 

From the readings that focused on our relationship with God and His with us, to the classical musical pieces, the wedding spoke to the spirit of each guest. The Communion hymn had a very special significance for the bride--it was the theme song for the liturgical leadership conferences where she’d served as an intern in the past. 

The reception was a classic event at the Madison Event Center, a beautifully repurposed Art Deco building in downtown Covington. The ballroom looked like a marvelous supper club from the 1930s, bringing out the wedding colors of gray and raspberry, with white florals and greenery.

This wedding was such a testament to how much fun a wedding reception can be when the bride and groom bring their personalities into the event. Both Billy and Brittney are zealous fans of The Office! They walked into the reception to the show’s theme song, and each of the toasts featured a quote from the show (which was completely unplanned!). 

The best part was the toast from Brittney’s stepfather, with revealed a surprise he had been planning for a while; a hilarious and heartfelt Cameo video from an Office cast member! The dessert table was another big highlight, featuring colorful donuts and macaron towers, Brittney’s favorite. The dance floor was packed all night long--so much so that we broke out our emergency sewing kit more than we have at another wedding! Bill and Brittney also opted for one of our favorite reception traditions, a foot washing ceremony where the new husband washes his bride’s feet in a gesture of humility and care. They closed out the wedding with a bubble exit, on the streets of downtown Covington underneath the streetlights.

Bill and Brittney’s wedding held so many of the elements that make us proud to be Catholic wedding planners. It was so full of joy, representing the future ahead in marriage as they experience the things that will help them bring each other to heaven. The representation from so many different vocations was a testament to how the Catholic community is meant to function. Clergy, professed religious, married couples, and single laity, all there to support the union of new marriage and creation of a family!

This wedding meant so much to us: the celebrating clergy and their connection to St Meinrad Archabbey, the bride and groom having been part of a previous wedding of ours, the wedding party containing bridesmaids and groomsmen that have been in other weddings we coordinated, and of course, the main celebrant being the spiritual advisor of our very own Something Blue Weddings….it just doesn’t get any better than that.

Nuptial Mass Location: Saint John the Evangelist Catholic Church, Covington, Kentucky | Reception Venue: The Madison Event Center, Covington, Kentucky | Wedding Coordination: Something Blue Weddings | Photography: Adam and Keli Photography | Bridal Gown: David’s Bridal | Bridesmaid’s Dresses: Azazie | Men’s Formalwear: Louie’s Tux Shop | Florals: Swan Floral, Erlanger, Kentucky | Hair & Makeup: Refeyeance | Cake: Tina Turner Cakes, Union, Kentucky | DJ: Jeff Heidelberg of Party Pleasers, Cincinnati, Ohio

Rachel + Jeremy | Late Summer Roses

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A love story that began in a second-grade classroom, anointed year after year by Our Lady’s grace and healing, fulfilled in a Christ-centered Mass and elegant, historic Midwest venue.

Rachel and Jeremy first met as children, in the same class at school for First Reconciliation and First Communion when Rachel transferred to the school. “The first memory I have of him is when he read for Mass in his tiny second-grader suit and tie during our First Reconciliation,” Rachel says. “I never imagined the Lord would make that moment the beginning of our love story.”

Flash forward to high school and college, when they became better acquainted through the teen ministry at their parish, each growing in individual relationship with the Lord as they passed by each other year after year. When Jeremy transferred to Franciscan University, where Rachel was attending, she invited him to dinner one night, knowing from her past experience of switching schools that the transition could be tough. “That one dinner turned into a weekly dinner, which turned into lunches, and movie nights, and game nights. By the end of the semester, we were closing out the dining halls and finding any excuse to spend time together,” says Rachel. 

Even before recognizing or admitting her feelings for Jeremy, she found herself drawn to his one-of-a-kind sense of humor, his intelligence and most of all, his utmost respect for the Lord and the desire for a relationship with Him.

From the Bride: 

When Jeremy first confessed his feelings for me, I was so surprised!

I had never been pursued by a man who willed my ultimate good. A man who loved me second because he loved God first.

I decided right then and there that before we took another step towards dating that I wanted to offer up our friendship to the Blessed Mother no matter what the outcome would be. Jeremy, being the man he is, supported this decision and we prayed together about what the Lord wanted for each of us.

Eventually, we received a green light from the Lord to begin a relationship. To say it's been a rollercoaster ever since is an understatement. We've experienced the highest of highs together, but have equally shared in the lowest of lows. We've had every adventure and can't wait for more. 

In the first year of our relationship, we consecrated ourselves to the Blessed Mother on her feast day as Queen of the Universe. We have such a love for her for all the ways she has interceded in our lives, and made it a practice to pray the Rosary often. 

We dated for four years before getting engaged and boy did the Lord bring us through ups and downs. But through it all, the Lord was good and faithful. He brought us together over and over, teaching us how to love like Him: how to apologize, and forgive, and laugh through the tears. He helped us grow year after year and nurtured our past wounds, bringing healing to each of us.

After four years that included long-distance dating, one break, and a lot of love, Jeremy popped the question. It might not sound romantic, but I’ll remember it forever!

We had booked an escape room with Jeremy’s sister and brother-in-law, Erica and Ben. About 50 minutes in, my competitive side was showing. To make it out of the room in time, one last question needed to be answered. “Rachel Marie,” Jeremy began, “Four years ago on this day was the first time I said I love you. Will you do the honor of letting me love you forever? Will you marry me?” Of course, I shouted my yes.

Thus began the exciting time of being engaged. We spent a lot of time preparing in different ways, mentally, emotionally but most importantly spiritually. We met with my Spiritual Director and our chosen Officiant, Deacon Tom Biegel, as well as with a mentor couple. Through all of those meetings Jeremy and I came to an even better understanding of and mutual respect for one another. We even made the decision to stop kissing 100 days out from the wedding, because--dang!--chastity is hard, especially when you’re so close to spending the rest of your lives together.

During our last month of engagement, we embarked on a novena I had always dreamed of incorporating into my wedding day. We prayed the 54-day Rosary Novena and chose to end it on August 22, the feast day of Our Lady Queen of the Universe--the day we had first consecrated ourselves to the Blessed Mother, and the day we had first chosen to one day get married. During the novena, the first 27 days are prayed in petition for a specific intention, and the last 27 days are prayed in thanksgiving.

This is what we prayed for:

For the binding, healing and forgiveness of all generational sin from the Fisher and Medina families and the sin we had brought into our relationship.

For our marriage and the building up of our souls as we were to become one with each other and one in Christ.

For our future children, for their sanctity and that they may follow the vocation God our Father calls them to.

On the 54th day, we prayed our final Rosary in a private Chapel just 30 minutes before saying our vows. It was such a precious moment to entrust the entirety of our relationship, our marriage, our future children and so much more into the arms of our Most Blessed Mother. She had done so much for us in our short lives and we were eager to invite her into the rest of what her Son was calling us to. Jeremy sat just one pew in front of me so that we could do a First Look--as I practically sprinted down the aisle to him.

Lastly, as we were about to say our vows, Jeremy picked up a beautiful San Damiano Crucifix. We had chosen a Franciscan crucifix because of how important of a role it had played in our lives at Franciscan University. We each placed our right hand over our Lord and made our vows to love one another as Christ had loved us.

When our officiant exclaimed the words you may now kiss the bride, Jeremy lowered his lips to Jesus on the Cross, and I followed suit. Then we shared our first kiss as husband and wife.

After the Mass had ended, we had requested that Deacon Tom set up the Chapel for a time of Adoration. For so long I had waited for this day, and I wanted Jesus to be the first person we spent our time with as husband and wife. It was absolutely perfect. 

As people filed out of the Church and made their way to the reception, Jeremy and I were in audience with Our King, thanking Him for bringing us to that very moment. After some alone time in Adoration, we opened the Chapel doors for any guests who wished to pray before Him. Afterwards, we hopped on our party bus and truly rejoiced in the rest of the day to follow. At each and every turn we wanted the Lord to be involved in our journey. 

Every moment we thought, how can we invite Him in even more?

Throughout our entire relationship, Jeremy and I have strived to keep our eyes on Christ. We haven’t been perfect by any means, yet each and every time we messed up, we helped the other run back to Him. It’s beautiful to see how the Lord had brought us from receiving our first sacraments together as children to receiving the Sacrament of Marriage. The Lord is a romantic! He had planned this from the beginning, and I am so excited to see how His story plays out in the rest our lives. He placed me here so that I could say yes to marrying my best friend, my love, my companion chosen for me on the journey home.

From the Photographer:

From the first phone call with Rachel and Jeremy, I could see how important their faith was to them. They spoke about all of the pivotal moments in their relationship where the Lord and Blessed Mother were so present, and how they were brought into their season of engagement.

When we met in person for their engagement session, they were close to starting their 54-day Rosary novena. It was the most beautiful thing to witness the final rosary of Rachel and Jeremy’s Novena on their wedding day and be a part of Adoration after their wedding mass. To see a couple so focused on getting each other to heaven was incredibly inspiring. They truly kept Christ the center of their entire wedding day from start to finish.

Ceremony Location: St. Gilbert Catholic Church, Grayslake, Illinois | Reception Venue: Upper East, Kenosha, Wisconsin | Photography: Colette M. Photography | Second Photographer: Annika Rose Photography | Videography: Rhys Ladhani Media | DJ: Silver Spoon Entertainment | Florals: Debbie’s Floral Shoppe, Mundelein, Illinois | Cake & Desserts: Culinary Infusion, Kenosha, Wisconsin | Bride’s Gown: Bon Bon Belle, Milwaukee, Wisconsin | Wedding Bands: Rolland’s Jewelers, Libertyville, Illinois | Makeup: Dina Forchione-Kloss of Embrace Your Face Artistry | Hairstylist: Tammie Retzke | Bridesmaids’ Attire: Azazie | Groom’s & Groomsmen’s Attire: Generation Tux

A Prayer for the Spoken Bride, disciple of Jesus.

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CORINNE GANNOTTI

 

In the past few months, I've been rereading and meditating on the words of the Church found in the Catechism's article about the Sacrament of Matrimony. 

I've been so moved by its language - the way in which its authors describe the nature and end of marriage, and all its essential qualities. But beautiful as they are, it can be easy to read the teachings of the Catechism contained here as spiritual reflections that feel far from our lived experiences of married life. 

But that's not what they are meant to be. 

“Catechesis” is the term used in the language of faith to describe the whole effort of the Church to make disciples. So, we can understand that all the words contained in the Catechism are placed there to help form us to be better disciples of Jesus, more honest and intentional followers of Him. 

They aren't just beautiful theological conjecture. The spiritual words of the Church here are meaningful for our real lives - in study and formation and prayer. They come from Sacred Scripture, the Church Fathers, liturgy, the Church's Magisterium. And honestly, praying with the very words of this section of the Catechism is a beautiful way to realize their catechetical aim, because prayer is a central way in which we live out our lives as disciples.

My own praying with these paragraphs of the Catechism has been a blessing. And should you ever choose to, I'm very confident it will bless you as well. 

I found that the fruit of praying with these teachings was a deep sense of encouragement. And I really believe the Teaching Church wants married couples to find inspiration and reassurance here. So even if you don’t find in yourself the desire to sit with these paragraphs in the quiet of personal prayer, I hope to offer you a sense of that encouragement in a little poetic prayer crafted with some of the words and much of the spirit of this section of the Catechism. 

I hope in it you can hear the voice of the Body of Christ - the Church Jesus left to form and guide and bring you close to Him - encouraging you in your vocation.

A Prayer for the Spoken Bride

As I live daily in the workings of the mystery of marriage,
Keep me awake to Your movement, O God.

You are the author of this covenant union and I do not stand alone. Entwined within my marriage’s intimacy is the power of Your Holy Spirit, And you will not deny me the grace which I seek.

You have created me for communion.
Give me the grace to find You in my spouse even when I forget that this very intimate belonging is Your great gift to me, through him. Marriage makes my whole life echo Your character to the world - A chance to become an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which You love.

Free my marriage from the entanglement of sin and sanctify me through the brokenness I encounter in my spouse, and he in me.
May our love be marked with a pattern of forgiveness and repair. May I experience a taste of Your holy mercy through my husband’s love for me, my husband who accepts me despite my shortcomings, who chooses me in my frailty.

Fortify my marriage against the enemy who seeks to undermine our love, to plant seeds of discontent and fear and a desire for self-protection where it does not belong.
For there is no fear in love, and in Your holy name I cast it out.

It is You who binds up my wounds - the ones that only marriage may cause me to realize I possess.
Give me Your grace, the holy life You promise me through this Sacrament, never refuse it to me. Without it I can never hope to live the fidelity I have promised. Because it is Your fidelity I have promised.

May the love of my marriage be found good, very good in Your eyes. May the sufferings my husband and I bear now as crosses in our shared life on earth become our shared offering to You - enflamed with the fire of your Holy Spirit, who guards the bond of our union.
May they be like burnt offerings made from the altar of our Domestic Church - our island of belief in an unbelieving world.

You will never leave me.
As You ask me, through marriage, to live entirely in a posture of gift, You also prepare me to receive new life in You and through You. As I learn to endure in generosity, I will find You there. In whatever way you shape my family on this earth, I will find You there.

May my marriage be for my good and the good of my husband.
May I trust in Your providence.
May I know Your intimate love.
Without you, I can do nothing.

You are the source of my marriage’s love,
You are the end of my marriage’s love,
You are Love.

Holy Family of Nazareth, pray for us.

Amen.

About the Author: Corinne studied Theology and Catechetics at Franciscan University where she met her husband, Sam. They were married in 2016 and now live in Pennsylvania with their two children, Michael and Vera, and where she continues to work in the ministry field. She especially enjoys reading stories with her 3 year old, running, and crossing things off her to-do list. She desires to live a life marked by joy, and is grateful to have a family who makes that effort much easier by helping her take herself less seriously.

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Praying for Joy in our Poverty: Battling Desolation in Tough Seasons

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DOMINIKA RAMOS

 

I recently had a conversation with a friend on the fair division of labor in marriage. 

I had to keep from laughing as for the past five months my husband and I have been living long distance due to a career transition we've made. Our division of labor looks like me doing absolutely everything on the list of things the marriage gurus tell you that you should divide up. 

And for the previous year, we were in a completely unfeasible situation of my husband working multiple jobs so I could stay at home with the kids--including a fresh newborn. I did nearly every night time wake up with the baby and put all the kids to bed most nights on top of the normal tasks of cooking and cleaning.

If I wasn't armed with a sense of humor, it would be easy for my thoughts to turn sour every time I heard conventional marriage and child rearing advice for married couples in conventional circumstances. 

And sometimes my thoughts do turn sour. Once after hearing the oft-repeated advice for burnt-out moms to "ask for help," I wanted to scream. As if asking the question would make a fairy godmother appear who would lift my burdens.

Yet amidst all the non-applicable advice, an incredibly moving way I've heard to contend with extreme circumstances is to pray for "joy in our poverty."

Any kind of extremity, financial, emotional, physical and so on, is a type of poverty, a lack of something essential. So this prayer is a challenge to my automatic response to difficulty of simply gritting my teeth and soberly, rather than joyfully, enduring.

And surprise, surprise the prayer doesn't make me instantly joyful. I still battle crankiness and desolation on a daily basis. But it's a continual reminder to me that my marriage and my life is a gift.

Too often it feels as though marriage is a gift in the abstract. Of course the sacrament of marriage is a gift, but not today, not when I'm a thousand miles away from my husband and my children are all conspiring to push me to the outer limits of my sanity. God clearly meant it to be a gift and only meant me to experience joy when we're making memories and getting along.

But our God is a God who emptied Himself out and became a visible image of poverty on the Cross whence He made all joy possible.

And so this prayer, short and sweet as it is, grounds me in reality and reminds me that our difficulties are not incidental, but part of the life in which God has placed me and my family to become holy.

About the Author: Dominika Ramos is a stay-at-home mom to three and lives in Houston, Texas. She runs a creative small business, Pax Paper.

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Joanna + Dan | TLM Vintage Floral Wedding

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A Latin Mass celebration imbued with tradition and romantic, vintage-inspired elements on a Midwestern summer day.

Joanna and Dan met at school as teenagers. What started off as a high school romance--one that included a prom proposal in the Adoration chapel!--grew through years together at Notre Dame and even a long-distance spanning from Montana to Rome. 

With certainty and anticipation for the future ahead, Dan secretly found Joanna’s Pinterest boards to help him choose an engagement ring he thought she’d love. On a visit together to his home parish, he invited Joanna to “check out the Adoration chapel.” Once again, before the Blessed Sacrament, he got down on bended knee.

 From the Wedding Coordinators:

Joanna and Dan kept their priorities focused on a beautiful, Christ-centered celebration. A strong devotion to Our Lady made the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary the perfect day for their June wedding! Their invitation suite nodded to Our Lady with a vintage-inspired M symbol, crowned with 12 stars and white and blue flowers. 

Joanna and Dan went back and forth while trying to decide what ways they wanted to represent their faith during the Mass. They decided on a Schola choir from the parish for ceremony music, couldn’t decide if they preferred the Ordinary Form of the Mass (English) for their ceremony, or one in the Extraordinary Form. Eventually, with the encouragement of their celebrant, they decided to jump feet first into a traditional Latin Mass for their most special day.

In the presence of four priests, over half a dozen altar servers, and a church full of family and friends, they exchanged their vows. The bridesmaids dressed in soft sage, which complimented the white and blue accents of the floral and lent a beautiful, timeless early summer vibe. 

To make sure every guest knew what to expect if they weren’t familiar with this form of the liturgy, a customized worship aid in both English and Latin was given to guests as they arrived.

Joanna and Dan’s truly magnificent Mass contained an element we had never encountered before: a solemn blessing under a veil.

While most of our weddings have a Nuptial Blessing as part of the liturgy, we’ve never seen it done under a veil or special piece of material. The veil they used was a beautiful Irish tablecloth with a Celtic cross, leftover pearls and beads from Joanna’s wedding dress, and a St. Joseph medallion created for the couple by their Maid of Honor and Best Man. Talk about a treasure to last a lifetime! The couple recessed out as Mr. and Mrs. to one of the bride’s favorite hymns, “O God Beyond All Praising”. 

The reception was pure summer elegance! Cocktail hour took place on the veranda and moved inside for the remainder of the celebration. Fresh floral centerpieces and candles highlighted each table, while the place settings featured gold and glass chargers. The cake was exquisitely decorated in soft blue flowers. Also on the cake table was a beautiful Marian candle, again bringing in Joanna and Dan’s devotion to the Blessed Mother. 

Prayer before the meal was given by one of the concelebrating priests, a Benedictine monk who traveled from Pennsylvania.

In his prayer, he mentioned the vows often used in the Ordinary Form wedding ceremony, reminding Joanna and Dan that they would be faithful to each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health and would love and honor each other all the days of their lives. What a beautiful reminder to all married couples present. 

Both Joanna’s and Dan’s families have strong ties to Notre Dame; towards the end of the reception, all ND alumni were invited onto the dance floor for a group picture with a flag commemorating each of the graduation years of those present. 

When focusing so much time, energy, and money into an event, it can be easy to get lost in the minutiae of wedding planning. Assisting couples like Dan and Joanna, who center their nuptials around their faith and traditions is like pushing aside Pinterest images and Instagram reels to breathe in the scent of incense! A grand exit with sparklers closed out this incredibly special evening.

Nuptial Mass Location: Saint Joseph Catholic Church, Mishawaka, Indiana | Reception Venue: The Blue Heron at Blackthorn, South Bend, Indiana | Wedding Coordination: Something Blue Weddings | Photography: Stacey Harting Photography | Second Photographer: Courtney Rudicel Photography | Florals: Camille's Floral Shop, Bristol, Indiana | Hair: Nicholas J Salon and Spa, South Bend, Indiana | Makeup: Molly Sandler | Cake: Macri’s Italian Bakery, South Bend, Indiana | DJ: ProShow, Elkhart, Indiana | Transportation: Michiana Fun Tours

Megan + John

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Megan and John became fast friends in college. John says he immediately knew Megan was the one for him, but was hesitant to risk their friendship. Once they started dating, it became evident the Lord was at work.

From the Videographer:

Absolute and utter joy. 

That’s the best way I could describe John and Megan’s wedding day.

Nothing says it better than when you see John’s face as his bride floats down the aisle toward him: laughter; tears; the sheer excitement and joy at the beauty of this moment.

Megan and John are a beautiful example of two people who are running together towards Christ, and their wedding film captures that story. I loved the words they wrote to each other beforehand--genuine, solid, and self-sacrificing. Their Catholic Nuptial Mass at the Newman Center in downtown Lincoln was an absolute blessing to capture, and I’m so thankful they asked me to witness and take part in their wedding day.

The entire was surrounded with prayer. I found John and his groomsmen sitting together and praying the Rosary before the ceremony. Megan and her bridesmaids shared a prayer together as well, followed by Megan and John’s own prayer time as a couple before the ceremony.. Seeing this couple and their friends take the time to pray in the middle of a hectic wedding day brought such joy and peace--this couple is supported by family and friends who are people of prayer.

One reception highlight was the mashup Megan’s dad, Dan, put together for their Father-Daughter dance, complete with the song “Dawn” from Pride and Prejudice (Megan’s favorite movie) and the theme from The Pink Panther.

One of my favorite moments was John’s reading a letter aloud that he wrote to Megan. Each and every part of both his and her letters was amazing, but the line I lose it at is this one. John said:

“As your husband, I promise to run with you towards Christ. And I know there will be times when that’s a challenge, but when those times come, I promise to put you on my shoulders and just keep running. We both know there will be times when I struggle, too, but I have no doubt in my mind that you’d carry me to heaven and back.”

And lastly, with the words, “It was through spending time with you that I learned so many things about myself,” I remember the exact reason I first fell in love with my husband! It’s a beautiful mark of a good relationship for so many couples, coming to better understand who they are and who God is.

I hope this film is a treasure for Megan and John in the years to come. To echo the words of John’s Best Man, “I can’t wait to see the love they’ve built be shared with the world!”

Nuptial Mass Location: St. Thomas Aquinas Newman Center, Lincoln, Nebraska | Wedding Reception Venue : Starlite Ballroom, Wahoo, Nebraska | Videography: Victory Media | Photography: Mel Watson Photography | Florals: Abloom, Lincoln, Nebraska | Catering: ChefauChef, Lincoln, Nebraska | Rings: Nebraska Diamond | Bridal Gown: Beloved by Casablanca, via Blush Bridal | Bride’s Jewelry: JamJewels via Etsy | Hair & Makeup: College of Hair Design, Lincoln, Nebraska | Signage: Maggie Gillis, Love and Letters Company | Wedding Cake: Hannah McQuay, Tiers of Joy, Wausa, Nebraska | Cookies: Eileen’s Cookies | Cupcakes: Truly Scrumptious Bakery, Juniata, Nebraska | DJ: ARC Music and Entertainment, Lincoln, Nebraska

Jennifer + Jorge | Milk, Cookies, and Simplicity

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A bilingual micro-wedding rooted in the love and closeness of family.

Jorge and I had a smaller, but oh so beautiful, wedding. We didn’t want to put on a show or try to outdo other weddings we had been to. The Holy Family Chapel at St. Peter, Prince of Apostles in Lemoore, was perfect for us. Amid the uncertainty of Covid, we chose to invite only immediate family and grandparents, yet it was such special time for us, focused on the meaning of holy matrimony. 

A friend from church willingly offered her services to photograph different points of our wedding. We are grateful for all the beautiful photos she took for us.

As simple as the wedding was, I still felt beautiful: my white dress, my mother’s veil, my curls, and the cascading bouquet of white roses. I wore the same wreath in my hair that I’d worn for my First Holy Communion!

For our processional, Jorge suggested the idea of him and me meeting at the back of the chapel with our parents, and having the sendoff there. After that First Look, we could walk down the aisle together--that is exactly what we did.

Jorge chose his grandfather’s wedding ring for himself, which he had inherited a few years prior. 

The two of us had both learned of the old European custom of saying our vows over a crucifix. I had received one from a dear friend, and it seemed like the perfect size to use during our vows; it now hangs in our bedroom. 

Because there was no wedding party to lead our entrance down the aisle, different family members were given assignments, from bringing forth the rings, carrying the crucifix, or assembling the flowers to Our Lady. For our Marian dedication during the Mass, we sung the Salve Regina--as Jorge and I had done together daily, for the past year. 

Our reception consisted of a light luncheon. Some other good friends from church catered and decorated the back patio of my parents’ house, which is out in the country. It was the perfect spot for us to cherish the meaning of family.

Jorge comes from a Mexican background, though my family knows little Spanish. So, before we all went through the buffet line, Jorge led us in prayer in English, Spanish, and then the two of us also chanted in Latin, as we typically do before meals.

Our theme for the reception was Milk and Cookies. With a little backstory, we included mugs I had given Jorge for his birthday earlier on in our relationship. With a comical illustration, they read, We go together like milk and cookies! They always brought a smile to our faces, and it really does feel so true! So, in place of a wedding cake, we fed each other large chocolate chip cookies that Jorge’s sister had made for us! 

With these simple but meaningful arrangements, it made our preparations so free from stress. I am grateful to God that it came out so wonderfully, with a day focused on the sacred.

Nuptial Mass Location: Holy Family Chapel at St. Peter, Prince of Apostles, Lemoore, California | Photography: Nancy Silva, friend of the couple

The Posture of Preparation

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ADELAE ZAMBON

 

We dream about it as a little girl: our wedding; that encounter with our groom. We wonder who he will be; what the day will be like.

Once we’ve met him and a word of commitment to forever is exchanged, we prepare for that long-awaited day. We ready ourselves for our groom.

As months, weeks, days, and hours pass and lead us closer to the moment we meet him as his bride, we meticulously choose colors, centerpieces, flowers, a wedding dress, our bridal garments; we adorn ourselves with hairpieces, earrings, the special ring, a sweet scent; we clean our bodies and our souls for the Sacrament, entering into the covenant. Attentive to every detail, we ready ourselves.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, we walk through another preparatory season, one set aside to recall and celebrate Christ’s first Advent, His coming to us in His nativity. Yet, it is also a time to meditate on His promise to return, that He will come again. For that second Advent, we are summoned to be ready.

What does it mean “to be ready?”

At its foundation, it means living a life of prayer and frequenting the Sacraments; remaining in a state of grace and perpetual detachment of this world, our souls en garde for the next. It looks like living intimacy with Christ as our hopeful hearts anticipate Him.

It also means maintaining a posture of readiness in all that we do, perhaps even in our vocation. 

Through the language of the body, what we actively set in motion can impact our spiritual disposition. 

When we open our hands with receptivity in prayer; when we genuflect or bow down; when we physically seek out Jesus in Church, these physical gestures have the ability to translate to the openness of our soul to the Lord.

What if this is true in our homes as we live in preparation for our Bridegroom, Jesus? What if, as we practice readiness, service and hospitality towards our spouse, our “bridegroom of the present,” we prepare ourselves for Love Himself to return?

What if the posture of bridal anticipation and receptivity in expectation of Christ, our Bridegroom can manifest and can form and mold our hearts in the way we await, greet and serve our husbands in the home?

The childlike heart of my son has taught me much about looking forward to the arrival of his father. His first words when he wakes from his nap are most often, “wait for Dada?” He knows his father will be back after a long day at work and he wants to be there, outside, on the curb to greet him.

Through the beautiful witness of this little one’s pure love, my husband’s homecoming is truly celebrated after great expectation. Now, it is the highlight of our day. When he returns, we meet him with the depths of enthusiasm and joy of being reunited with the one we missed during his absence.

This has brought me to reflect upon meeting Jesus when He comes back for us. Am I ardently perched on the stoop of my heart yearning to encounter Him? 

We can choose to make every greeting with our spouse a prayer for our readiness to greet Christ Himself. We can pray for our spouse’s encounter at that time with his Lord. And we can pause to reflect in this routine or “commonplace” moment with awe upon the inconceivably greater joy it will be when it is our Lord we are reunited with.

In a similar way, as we set the table, prepare a meal, tidy the house, furnish the homespace, our gestures of hospitality and service can serve our growth in intimacy with Our Lord. In Theology of the Home by Carrie Gress and Noelle Mering, readers are introduced to the idea that the interior of our domestic churches, our homes, is meant to draw those who come within to a reflection of their Eternal Home. 

Our domestic church sanctuaries are meant to bring us into encounter with the Divine like walking into our parish sanctuary.

The daily, mundane tasks can become a prayer and the posture we hold as we go about them can cultivate within us a lamp that is lit for the visit Christ will pay us one day.

Growing up, preparing for my own father’s return home after a work day, we would tidy the home, help prepare the evening meal and try to create an environment of calm, warmth and hospitality despite the rowdy, energy of eight young ones running about. 

Vividly, I recall my mom explaining she must “prepare her home for her king;” this is how she saw making a home for my dad. I have taken this to heart in serving my own king of the home, who I have been called to serve. Each motion serves as a reminder of how I want my external and internal space to be when Jesus knocks on my door. I want my abode to be ready to welcome him.

Readiness for Christ requires us to ready our soul. The Sacraments cultivate spiritual receptivity. They heal us and call us into union with Him through the grace we are given there. Prayer without ceasing keeps us aware and attuned to HIS movements - where is He, where is He calling us and when is He coming for us. 

Ultimately, too, this intimacy with Christ is the catalyst for intimacy between a husband and wife. And our marital union here foreshadows and forms us for the heavenly union with our Bridegroom. We are His bride. On Him, we wait. For us, He shall come. Make haste, light your lamp.

About the Author: Adelae Zambon is a “transplant Texan,” who met and married a Canadian singer-songwriter. Together they share a love for ministry and journeying with other couples into the healing, redemptive power of the Sacrament of Marriage. In her spare time, Adelae enjoys road trips punctuated by local coffee shop stops along the way. However, she will most often be found chasing a delightfully inquisitive toddler or savoring every moment of naptime for the space it offers her to write.

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Rachel + Seth | Summer Country Club Wedding

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A love from which Our Lady never turned her gaze, and a summer celebration with bright shades, military dress & starry surroundings.

During Rachel’s study abroad semester at Franciscan University’s campus in Gaming, Austria, Seth came to campus to visit his brother. They met, and the rest is history.

Rachel has a devotion to Stella Maris, Our Lady as Star of the Sea--it’s appropriate, and providential, that she and Seth spent much of their relationship long-distance, first as students, and later during Seth’s career with the Marines. Rachel later chose Stella Maris holy cards as a wedding favor. Distance and travel played a role in their engagement, as well: Seth proposed to Rachel on a private flight as they flew over a field with the words, Marry Me?

From the Wedding Coordinators:

Rachel and Seth’s wedding was visually captivating, with so many vivid colors and mixes of texture. The church, St. Gertrude Catholic Church in Cincinnati, is a modern-style sanctuary full of glossy black and bright gold features. The bride opted for saturated florals in hues of bright purples, pinks, white, with the occasional pop of red or peach for the bridesmaids’ bouquets. Her own bouquet was a stunning creation of predominantly white flowers, with touches of blush among the greenery. 

Rachel’s parish is staffed by Dominicans. The reverent nuptial Mass was concelebrated by two friars, one being Rachel’s parish priest and the other a dear family friend from the East Coast. 

Along with the parish organist and vocalist, Rachel’s good friend from Franciscan, including the Communion hymn, “O Come to the Altar”, followed by “Hail Mary, Gentle Woman” for the Marian Devotion. Seth and several of his groomsmen were in full military dress, which made it all the more moving for the couple to have a grand exit from the church through a military arch. 

The reception was held at Hyde Park Country Club, nestled in a lovely residential area in Cincinnati. To us, a country club reception, especially in the full bloom of summer, says understated elegance. The lush greens of the golf course made a beautiful backdrop to the setting, which gave the entire event a classic, refined feeling. The gorgeous chandeliers were draped with fresh greenery, blooms, and hanging candles. Bold centerpieces of vibrant late summer flowers made a striking contrast to the ivory tablecloth and gold chargers. Tucked into the ivory napkins were menu cards, along with a commemorative Stella Maris prayer card, from Santa Clara Design. 

In keeping with Rachel’s Italian heritage, a dessert table offered dozens of different kinds of homemade cookies, alongside a traditional white wedding cake. Seth and Rachel cut the cake with his military issue saber, which made for smiles and great pictures. They finished out the night with dancing and--of course--a Cincinnati tradition, Skyline Chili!

With all of the personal, family-centered touches like the homemade Italian cookies, the devotional wedding favors, and the sword cake cutting, so many pieces of Rachel and Seth’s wedding show the rich history they have behind--and ahead--of them. 

One of their wedding readings, from Sirach 2:2-11, reads that “you fear the Lord, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.” Seth and Rachel’s wedding testifies that centering your big milestones around the foundation of your family and the cornerstone of your faith will always yield great good things of lasting joy and mercy.

Nuptial Mass Location: St Gertrude Catholic Church, Cincinnati, Ohio | Reception Venue: Hyde Park Country Club, Cincinnati, Ohio | Photography: Laura and Matthew Photography | Wedding Coordination: Something Blue Weddings | Florals: Oakwood Floral | Videography: Sweet Basil Productions | Makeup: Gregorie Styles | Cake: Weiss Baking Company, Goshen, Ohio | DJ: Marc Madama | Transportation: Jimmy's Limousine Service

An Unexpected Hour: Encountering the God of Surprises

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ERIN BUCHMANN

 

Advent can feel like a challenging season if it comes at a time when God doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers.

The season invites us to recall images of the Annunciation, the Visitation, and the journey to Bethlehem for the birth of Christ. Mary is pregnant, eagerly awaiting the birth of Christ and the imminent fruition of God’s long-promised salvation. God’s hand is visibly at work in her life and in the world. 

The hour of redemption that the world has been preparing for since the Fall in the garden of Eden is quickly approaching. Jesus is near.

Yet, for us, sometimes Advent can come during a season of life when Jesus feels less near, God less active. 

Sometimes we may feel more like the patriarch Jacob’s wife, Rachel: forgotten, abandoned by the Lord. We long for the fulfillment of the desires of our hearts, and yet we know full well that only God can fulfill our desires for children, for a spouse, for love. It can feel as though God isn’t listening to our prayers when we don’t see them answered as we expect.

Approaching Advent as a time of preparation to meet Christ, both at Bethlehem and at the second coming, is not a wrong way of approaching the season. But if you find yourself feeling frustrated by Christ’s seeming absence this year, I encourage you to try approaching Advent in a different way. 

Instead of looking for the expected Christ, as the savior for whom you have been eagerly waiting, open your heart instead to encounter the Christ of the unexpected, the God of surprises.

What do I mean by this? You may have your life planned out in your mind. You have your hopes and your dreams, which you have brought repeatedly to God and placed at His feet. I encourage you to go one step further. 

Set those hopes and dreams and that plan for your life at God’s feet and leave them there. Then keep walking forward in your life. Take the next right step, as you understand it. Don’t over-analyze. If you find peace, continue forward. If not, change something. You might discover Christ waiting for you behind a door you only needed to open.

God knows the plans we hold, and our dreams. He likes it when we bring these things to Him in prayer. But God is not a machine, where an input of this prayer yields that result. We cannot fathom His timing. 

As in our lives, God’s action and presence in the story of the first Advent is comprehensible only in retrospect. To Mary, Elizabeth, and Joseph, it was shrouded in mystery.

When we view God as a machine, we essentially reverse our roles. We imagine ourselves as the mover and God as the instrument. 

By surrendering our hopes to Him, especially the ones we hold most dear, we adopt a true Advent mindset, the mindset of Mary. We adopt a mindset of trust in God’s goodness. 

Trust doesn’t plan, nor does it cling to what was left behind. It does not become discouraged, because it does not expect. It simply believes in the goodness of the One in whom it is placed. It allows God to work in our lives as He wishes, not as we hope or envision. It helps us to accept everything we receive from God as a gift.

You will walk through Advents when your life doesn’t feel like Mary’s, when there is no Joseph standing beside you or when your womb is frustratingly empty. Do not become discouraged. Christmas is not a deadline by which Jesus is bound. 

He loves you, and He actively works in your life whether you see His hand or not. Have the courage to allow Him to surprise you with His good gifts, according to His timing. God is trustworthy. He will not leave you abandoned, or lonely, or empty. At an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come .

About the Author: Erin Buchmann hails from the frozen wilderness of central Minnesota. She and her husband are the parents of three little miracles.

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Navigating Financial Stress in Catholic Wedding Planning

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ANGELA MIKRUT

 

Almost every decision you make regarding your wedding will affect the overall cost. For most couples, these expenses can significantly contribute to the feeling of stress leading up to the big day. 

Wedding planning and decision-making often come with certain expectations about what a wedding should have. You may feel pressured to include certain details or make a particular decision to appease those societal expectations. 

Not everyone is in the place to throw thousands of dollars at their wedding day without it causing some amount of stress. When making these decisions as an engaged couple it’s important to keep some things in mind when considering your expectations and your budget.

I Dos and Dont's: Wedding Education for the Modern Bride + Groom | Stewardship and the Practicals of Working Out Your Budget


Determine your priorities

First list out the most important details to you and your fiancé. What do you truly want to  include in your wedding day? Go from here and put your money first towards the decisions most important to you.

Continuously remind yourself why you are making all these decisions and go back to your priorities to see if your decisions are lining up with what you initially said was the most important to you as a couple.

Invite the Lord into the process

In prayer, ask the Lord to help guide your decision-making and ask Him to reveal what you need. Ask Him to help you not get caught up in society’s idea of the “perfect” wedding but rather, keep you focused on the reality of the sacrament you will soon experience.  

Prepare yourself that you can’t have it all

If you want to stick to your proposed budget, remind yourself that you can’t do and have everything you gush over on Pinterest or seen done by another couple. 

Appreciate the beautiful weddings you see but remind yourself that your wedding doesn’t have to look like someone else’s, and it will be even more beautiful if you come to terms with this and get excited about the things you do get to implement.

Related: Planning your dream wedding without breaking the bank

Whether you receive financial help for your wedding or not, weddings can be extremely expensive for just one day. A wedding celebration is of course deserving, but at what point does the focus on money and expensive details lead the couple and even the guests away from the reality of the sacrament?

Look to Saint John Chrysostom and keep his words from On Marriage and Family Life close to you as you make financial decisions regarding your wedding, “Money is everything now, and so everything has become corrupted and ruined, because we are possessed by this passion for money.” 

Don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of consumerism. The value of your wedding isn’t determined by the size of your budget.

Aim to keep the first breath of your marriage pure, so that when you are preparing to walk down the aisle, you have a clear conscience about all the money that was put into your wedding day. 

About the Author: Angela loves creative work, especially photography, and has a special place in her heart for JPII. She's engaged and getting married in late December.

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Witnessing to the Fidelity of God in Marriage

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CORINNE GANNOTTI

 

The Catechism contains a section in which each sacrament is reflected upon in detail - its significance in the life of faith, its place in God's plan for us, the meaning of its ritual, its spiritual effects in our souls. 

The article dedicated to the sacrament of Matrimony in particular, contains a portion which reflects on the nature of the kind of love that marriage asks of spouses - specifically the deep fidelity it demands. Nestled in there are a few paragraphs which I truly love. They begin like this:

The "intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons…demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them. The deepest reason is found in the fidelity of God to his covenant, in that of Christ to his Church. Through the sacrament of Matrimony the spouses are enabled to represent this fidelity and witness to it. 

When I read that, every word feels like it rings with the authentic character of truth. 

Deep fidelity is demanded in marriage, and it bears profound witness to the kind of love that God offers - faithful, honest, personal, forever. 

An unbreakable and intimate union. That's the very reason fidelity is an essential character of marriage in the first place, as an echo of the divine love it symbolizes. That truth is so eloquently explained here. 

But it's actually the paragraph immediately following these that makes me love this section so much and feel a particular kind of gratitude for the bishops who made sure it was included. As you read on, you hear:

It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love. Spouses who with God's grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community. 

This paragraph plants the divine reality of God's love which marriage images into the imperfect messiness of our fallen world. And it also reminds us that our imaging of God's divine love through marriage is not something that depends solely on our own capacity. It's not some kind of task the Lord places upon us in our vocation as a spouse to see how we measure up.

Choosing to love and serve another person for the rest of our earthly life, to faithfully place their needs above our own, is no small thing. It asks for all we are capable of and more, and that's what can make it at times seem impossible. Apart from grace, it really is. 

And that's the very reason, the Catechism reminds us, that it's so important for us to constantly proclaim to ourselves and others that we draw strength from God's love to live out our marital promises.

Because we can confidently trust that God's faithful love will be ever available, we do not have to fear that we will come up empty handed.

When we are weary and struggling, He can sustain us so that we can continue. Our fidelity can rest in His fidelity.

God, as the shepherds of His Church here remind us, does not wish for us to hide or dismiss our struggle. He wants us to bring it to Him so He can provide healing and restoration and renewal. We can be honest about how difficult the demands of marriage are because in that honesty we make space for God to provide.

Sometimes, I think, in our zeal to defend and witness to the greatness of this sacrament in a culture that misconstrues it greatly or perhaps has dismissed it entirely, we focus so deeply on how marriage is a reflection of the ever-faithful love of God that when we find ourselves experiencing how living that out can sometimes feel like an impossible task, it can seem like admitting to failure. 

We can be tempted to think that struggle within marriage is something we must hide or pretend does not exist if we wish to give the best witness. But that's a lot of pressure. And it can set us up to bear a great deal of shame and self-blame. 

What these statements in the Catechism remind us, is that when we do acknowledge our deep need for God to help us remain steadfast in marriage, far from failing as witnesses to marriage's goodness, we actually become more capable of witnessing to the faithful love it demands, showing how deeply we are bolstered up by God's grace.

If your marriage has ever felt difficult, even impossible, do not fear that you are failing.

You are not, and neither are you alone. You are spoken of in the very lines of the Catechism itself. And the bishops remind you here that you deserve to receive the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community, the whole Church family, because the kind of love marriage asks for is something beyond what we can offer in our humanness even at its best. 

The community of the Church should bolster us up in the midst of our challenges. God supports us in every step, but we have to do what we can to cast off the false and very unhelpful belief that admitting to struggle in our marital relationship makes us less effective witnesses to the goodness of this sacrament. 

Perhaps that effort can look like doing what we can to respond with compassion to the shortcomings we find in ourselves and our spouse, or availing ourselves of the graces and healing available especially through the sacraments of Confession and Communion, or even simply by beginning to pray that God would help us experience the reality of His faithfulness to us.

Far from failure, struggling in marriage allows space for God to supply that which we need, and becomes the way in which we reveal His love to the world.

About the Author: Corinne studied Theology and Catechetics at Franciscan University where she met her husband, Sam. They were married in 2016 and now live in Pennsylvania with their two children, Michael and Vera, and where she continues to work in the ministry field. She especially enjoys reading stories with her 3 year old, running, and crossing things off her to-do list. She desires to live a life marked by joy, and is grateful to have a family who makes that effort much easier by helping her take herself less seriously.

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Vanessa + Cameron | Latin American Rustic Romance

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Cameron and Vanessa met through the Lifeteen program at their home parish of St. Michael’s while they were in high school. They became fast friends, and Vanessa had crushes on Cameron on and off, but never voiced her feelings to him. After graduating, they were brought back together several years later when they both joined the Core team at the youth program as adults. They became fast friends again and grew closer than before. Cameron was in a relationship at the time, and Vanessa found that she had to distance herself from him due to her romantic feelings popping up again. They kept in touch through Facebook messenger every so often, and in 2019, Vanessa noticed that Cameron was being flirtatious in his messages. She questioned him about it and he responded that he loved her and knew that he would marry her. Despite her fears and uncertainty, Cameron pursued Vanessa, loving her “with a wild patience” and helped her overcome her fears about marriage. They got engaged in 2020 on a wild mountain adventure that Cameron planned that completely surprised Vanessa.

The couple has a deep devotion to Our Lady and the Holy Family, and led their bridal party in a novena to the Holy Family leading up to their wedding day.

In 3 words, how would you describe your wedding theme?: Wild party, Rustic, romantic

Describe the wedding (for wedding features) or the proposal (for engagement features).: The bride and groom are a fun, wild couple and their wedding day was like one huge dance party! The bridesmaids wore various shades of pink and groomsmen wore navy suits with floral ties.

Vanessa and the girls got ready at her childhood home, and it was the calmest I’ve ever seen a wedding party on the morning of a wedding! A family friend, Carly Wynn, did Vanessa’s hair and she made personalized gift bags for each of her bridesmaids, who were her dearest friends.

The nuptial Mass was very unique and beautiful. The couple got married at the church where they first met - their home parish of St. Michael the Archangel in Woodstock, GA.

Vanessa’s family is from Panama, so they incorporated Spanish into their Mass with their first reading from the book of Tobit read in Spanish. They also incorporated the Latin American Catholic tradition of las arras matrimoniales, an exchange of 13 wedding coins during the ceremony. Historically, the thirteen coins represented the groom's promise to provide for his family and the bride's trust in the groom's promise for provision.

The couple loves Our Lady very much, and selected their gospel reading, the Wedding at Cana from the gospel of John, for their Mass due to the Marian influences. Vanessa is a talented vocalist, so having high quality Mass music was of high importance to the couple. Four friends of Vanessa’s sang the Mass parts and truly it was heavenly. The bride herself sang the Salve while they took flowers to Mary, and the couple handed roses from the bouquet to each of their mothers as a way to honor their motherhood.

Instead of having an end of night exit, Vanessa and Cameron opted for a ceremony exit with streamers. Their guests lined up outside the church doors, and, as the bride and groom left the church to their limo, threw party streamers at them. It was a great way to enjoy an exit during the daylight and have most of the guests still there to witness it!

The reception was one giant party! Cameron and Vanessa entered their reception on Razor scooters with a smoke machine - very fitting for these two fun people. After dinner and speeches, the entire night was one big dance party, with nearly every guest breaking it down on the dance floor. For the reception, Vanessa had her mother’s wedding dress altered and changed into it after dinner as a surprise.

What is your spiritual take-away or reflection from the day, from either a bride's or a vendor's perspective?: I was most struck by how Vanessa and Cameron are striving for holiness together and yet are still wildly themselves through it all. Their wedding day was really a reflection of how we can pursue sanctity without giving up fun or our core personality - everyone is called to be a saint as themselves!!

Dress & Veil: A Formal Occasion https://www.aformaloccasion.com/l
Alterations: Sew Elegant Formalwear Alterations https://www.sewelegantga.com/
Shoes: Windsor https://www.windsorstore.com/
Hair - Carly Wynn https://www.instagram.com/carly_wynn_hair/?hl=en
Makeup - Makeup by Marissa ATL https://www.instagram.com/makeupbymarissaatl
Jewelry: Francesca’s https://www.francescas.com/
Rings: Shane Co https://www.shaneco.com/
Groom Suit: Jos. A Bank https://www.josbank.com/
Tie: Amazon
Bridesmaids: Azazie https://www.azazie.com/
Catering: Custom Creations https://customcreations-catering.com/
DJ: DJ Lui Mora https://www.djlui.com/
Limo Company - Alpharetta Limo Service http://www.limoservicealpharettaga.com/
Reception: Venue 92 https://venue92.com/
Ceremony: St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church
Celebrant: Fr. Paul Porter
Florist - Rebecca Lasli, Blooms and Decor https://www.instagram.com/bloomsanddecor
Videographer - JimenezVisuals https://www.jimenezvisuals.com/
Invitation - Designed by the Bride on Canva

The Importance of Reading Good Literature as a Catholic Couple

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DOMINIKA RAMOS

 

Do you read stories together as a couple? 

Spiritual reading and self-help books have obvious benefits and can spur on fruitful conversations, but I find we often overlook the power of reading good literature. 

On one level, sharing a story aloud itself simply fosters intimacy. Reading aloud and listening require you to slow down and pay attention to another person's experience. 

But reading fiction also offers a dimension of exclusivity and playfulness--together you imaginatively enter into the lives of characters in worlds far removed from your own, and you return from that experience each time with a sense that you've shared a journey unique to the two of you.

Perhaps even more so than you'd find with marital self-help books, the emotional quality of great literature can reveal the drama of our own hearts. In worlds as distant as medieval Italy or Regency England or Middle-Earth, it's heartening to come across and live briefly and vicariously through characters who contend with the same kind of doubts and hopes that we have, and it's heartening too to witness your spouse experience those revelations.

As C.S. Lewis puts it, "in reading great literature I become a thousand men and yet remain myself. Like a night sky in the Greek poem, I see with a myriad of eyes, but it is still I who see. Here, as in worship, in love, in moral action, and in knowing, I transcend myself; and am never more myself than when I do."

Related: 4 Secular Novels Featuring Insights into Authentic Love + Catholic Marriage

Stories also enrich the intellectual life you share with your spouse. W.H. Auden once wrote of our difficulty in making sense of the human experience as a result of "our poverty of symbols." Reading great literature with your spouse allows you both to inherit the poets' expansive world of symbols and allusions with which to make greater sense of life together.

When my husband and I feel weighed down by family and work obligations, we tend to function a bit robotically with one another. It feels as though our shared imagination contracts and our common vision of the world becomes murkier. 

In these seasons, I find it far more tempting to just soak myself in blue light each night catching up on my latest TV binge or scrolling on endless bite-sized snapshots of other people's lives. But putting aside my phone and spending even fifteen minutes in the evening to read aloud to one another from great works of literature lifts our eyes out of our immediate circumstances to a bigger picture of the cosmos. 

We come back feeling connected with one another, relieved from some of the stress in our lives, and endowed with more perspective for our own small story in this world.

Looking for your next read-aloud book with your spouse? Check out Spoken Bride’s Recommended Reading Archives.

About the Author: Dominika Ramos is a stay-at-home mom to three and lives in Houston, Texas. She runs a creative small business, Pax Paper.

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From Wounds to Glory

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ADELAE ZAMBON

 

"In my deepest wound I saw your glory. . ."

I once heard it said that it is in the sin we suffer the most temptation where we can identify the sort of saint we are called to be. Look to the opposite virtue or the antidote of this scourge.

Struggle with lust? You were made to be a great lover!

Struggle with covetousness? Your fulfillment and joy will be living detachment and simplicity acknowledging God as your all!

Struggle with vanity? The Lord’s design is for you to live in the beauty of your being made in His Divine image!

Struggle with anger? The Lord has created you to be a passionate defender of the vulnerable. Or perhaps a righteous defender of the Faith!

From St. Augustine, we hear: “In my deepest wound I saw your glory, and it dazzled me.”

What if our wounds are the portals that offer the deepest penetration of His transfiguring grace? What if our scars tell the story of His rescue and our restoration?

They are and they do. 

In fact, when redeemed, they are the account of the Kingdom we can bring to the world. Why? Because they are the place where we have once fallen the farthest and where the Lord now lifts us the highest.

This holds true in our relationship as well. The wounds and sufferings between us in our marriages can become His glory stories. 

You see, the Lord wants to make Himself known to us individually, to our spouse and then through us, united, to the world. From out of the darkness and the murk of our pain, we bear witness to His abundant mercy. Then, others can see His GLORY.

The places of temptation, sin and wounding in a relationship are the very places the Lord wants to pour out His grace and let His glory be shone.

Whether your relationship has been wounded by anger, infidelity or pornography; whether you and your spouse have suffered with infertility or loss; whether you have journeyed through illness between the two of you or in your extended family; whether you feel the weight of fighting financial or alcohol intemperance: the Lord can make your story one to testify of His glory.

Perhaps, one day, God will call you to come alongside another couple to encourage, mentor, and share your story as they walk a similar road of suffering. Perhaps you will create a ministry or champion a message that is needed to support couples going through the same trial you went through. I do not know your story or the valleys you have traversed; however, I do know the Lord brings beauty and good through all things and your journey is no different.

If this resonates with you and you are curious where the Lord may want to use your relationship to build the Kingdom and draw souls to His consoling heart, consider:

  • Where has your personal sin thematically affected your relationship? What is the antidote virtue? In what specific way do you think the Lord might be calling you to greatness?

  • What suffering have you endured as a couple that has fortified you? What helped you during this time? What did you wish you had had to assist you in navigating this trial?

  • What strengths, gifts or charisms do you believe the Lord has given to you together as a couple? How might these play a role in the unique mission He has given your marriage?

About the Author: Adelae Zambon is a “transplant Texan,” who met and married a Canadian singer-songwriter. Together they share a love for ministry and journeying with other couples into the healing, redemptive power of the Sacrament of Marriage. In her spare time, Adelae enjoys road trips punctuated by local coffee shop stops along the way. However, she will most often be found chasing a delightfully inquisitive toddler or savoring every moment of naptime for the space it offers her to write.

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Organizational Tips for Catholic Wedding Planning

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ANGELA MIKRUT

 

Wedding planning, with all its small details and decisions, can feel overwhelming, especially if you don’t have some kind of organizational system.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Alex Krall Photography

Use these tips to help you and your fiancé stay organized and calm throughout the process. 

Make a designated wedding email. 

Make a designated wedding email that you can use to contact all your vendors to help keep all wedding-related communications in one place. 

Using your preferred email platform, create a new account and put both you and your fiancé’s name as the owner. You can then connect the email to both you and your fiancé’s phones or laptops so that you both have access to the account and can reference important emails and future vendor contracts all in one place.

Create a physical or digital binder

Consolidate your wedding planning dreams, documents, research, and more in a designated place. 

You can use Google docs if you like the convenience of a virtual document or in a binder if you prefer writing everything down. Here you can keep track of your research and make lists as they pop in your head.

If you are doing your research primarily on the computer, it would still benefit you to have a virtual document. This allows you to just copy and paste important links so that you don't have to have multiple tabs open at once and can reference your research as needed. 

In my experience creating a Gmail as your wedding email and using the Google apps (docs, sheets, etc.) can help you stay organized since everything is all in one place and easy to use/access. It also allows you to share documents with other Google users with ease, so you can grant access to different people that are a part of your wedding, like your fiancé or members of your wedding party.

Communicate clearly with your bridal party. 

If you choose to have a wedding party, you will want to keep them updated on important information. Let them know your expectations and what you see their role as (what they will be wearing, if you want them to throw you a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party, etc.). 

Every wedding is different, and every bride has a different vision for her bridal party. Consider writing a note to your bridesmaids once you ask them to take part in your special day and share with them your vision for your wedding and their role in it. 

Details can always change, but communicating with them throughout the process can benefit both you and them. In articulating the vision for your day, it will give you a clearer picture for your day and it helps you and your fiancé to organize your thoughts and ideas in order to relay them to others.

Break things down. 

Research the typical order of details for planning a wedding (when to book certain vendors, when to send out invitations, etc.), then make a rough month to month checklist of what ‘should’ be done each month leading up to the wedding. 

Spoken Bride offers a comprehensive guide that features expertly curated checklists for a distinctively Catholic engagement, ceremony, and reception. 


You don’t have to stress over doing each item exactly as the checklist lays out, but having a list will help you and your fiancé prioritize and plan efficiently. 

Once you complete things on your list it’s not only satisfying to cross them off but it’s also an exciting countdown because each month that passes is one month closer to your big day!

Take it one day at a time

Most importantly take wedding planning one day at a time. 

If you try to plan everything at once, it will all feel more intense than it should. 

Remember to continually bring everything to God, asking for direction, and making decisions and both you and your fiancé feel comfortable making even if that means prolonging a decision to discern what is best when looking at the grand scheme of things.

About the Author: Angela loves creative work, especially photography, and has a special place in her heart for JPII. She's engaged and getting married in late December.

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Smashing the Idol of Perfectionism in Marriage

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CORINNE GANNOTTI

 

Of the many ways that the vocation of marriage can shape and purify us, one I've found both fantastically difficult and incredibly freeing is the way in which it calls for the absolute demolition of the idols hidden within my heart, specifically perfectionism.

It makes those false gods obvious, laid bare in my experiences of disappointment or unmet expectation - I have to confront those experiences and ask myself honestly if they are reasonable reactions (we are fallen people that fail each other) or if they stem from casting my own vision of what my marriage and my spouse should look like, making that the most important thing.

In marriage, we walk alongside our spouse - entrusted to each other and in that union entrusted to God. Peace comes from knowing God resides there at our center, His grace present in the sacramental bond that tethers us. With His life-giving love to form our vision of what true love should look like lived out and through which to discern where we are headed, things make much more sense. We're more fully able to accept our spouse fully, loving that person deeply through seasons of growth and change and even struggle or failure. 

When we enthrone Christ in the center of our relationship, we can see Him in our spouse so much more clearly and remain focused on our call to love and honor our spouse always. 

But when we replace that with our own view of how we think things should be we can find ourselves trapped worshipping a false god of our own creation. We can get stuck striving for what we think a perfected marriage and life should look like, rather than what God has and continues to reveal to us.

It can be easier than I'd like to admit to dethrone God from the central place where He belongs within my marriage. To instead place my own image of perfection there and slip into caring primarily about creating the kind of life and relationship that will fulfill my personal desires and presumptions of what a holy and happy marriage or family should look like. But there's little space to live and breathe and love authentically there. We spend too much energy striving for something that God doesn’t ask of us, which will never satisfy.

The false idol of perfectionism in marriage will only fill our hearts with a spirit of comparison and the erroneous belief that once things look the way we think they should - once we fix this issue, or my spouse stops acting that way, or this life situation becomes easier - then we will finally have the happiness we desire. 

Sometimes in our longing for the perfect love for which we were created, we can craft mental images that seem good but really end up distorting our vision of the good that actually lies in front of us. And Satan loves to twist those well-intentioned desires into straight up idols that stand in the way of us receiving God's goodness, and instead breed resentment, dissatisfaction, and isolation. From there it becomes ever easier to fall into despair because it seems like things may never look as they "should." This lie can keep us trapped and self-serving if we don't see it for what it truly is.

Once we get stuck creating our own vision of perfection for our marriage, placing that above all else, our real life spouse and real life circumstances may never feel like enough. They may never meet the standard we create for them and even if they do, this is a false victory rooted in selfishness. It's concerned first with what I want, creating the life I think will make me happy in the way I envision. It will always end up falling short and ultimately opposing the kind of self-sacrificial love God invites us to live in this vocation.

Marriage invites us to fight against false idols together by becoming honest together. By facing the expectations and hopes we have, placing them in right order or casting them aside when we find them becoming the things we aim for instead of God Himself. 

If perfectionism creeps into our marriage, we should run to God and ask Him to show us our poverty, to help us remember that the goodness He created us for is greater than any temporal situation we can try to curate for ourselves. Place Him once again on the throne and smash those darn idols into dust so they don't stand in our way, blocking our view of the glorious life we actually have before us and the wonderful spouse we have chosen and the real moments of our day in which we can strive for holiness. 

Smashing idols, working again and again in our imperfection to enthrone God within our hearts so we can love each other well and strive after what will really fulfill us, that sounds better than anything I could imagine.

About the Author: Corinne studied Theology and Catechetics at Franciscan University where she met her husband, Sam. They were married in 2016 and now live in Pennsylvania with their two children, Michael and Vera, and where she continues to work in the ministry field. She especially enjoys reading stories with her 3 year old, running, and crossing things off her to-do list. She desires to live a life marked by joy, and is grateful to have a family who makes that effort much easier by helping her take herself less seriously.

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