Wedding Planning | Be Bold in Asking for What you Desire
/THERESA NAMENYE
I was a bridesmaid in one of my best friend’s weddings.
Her ceremony was beautiful. You could feel the joy in the air. Afterwards, we piled into our wedding party bus and headed to the park to take photographs. The bride and the groom got their pictures, then the families, and then the entire wedding party together. The photographer called, “Alright, let’s head back to the reception; dinner is waiting!”
My mind immediately started to race about the photographs I still wanted my friend to have! Didn’t we always talk about a picture of our friend group at all of our weddings? Didn’t we want shots of all the bridesmaids all together?
Awkwardly, I said, “Wait, aren’t there a few shots we still want?”
PHOTOGRAPHY: NIKAYLA & CO.
It wasn’t in the plan. The photographer seemed surprised. Long story short, we ended up staying for another 15 minutes to get all of the photographs we could ever need.
Looking back, I treasure the photographs from my best friend’s wedding. If I had not spoken up, and just listened to the part of me that didn’t want to “make a fuss”, those photographs literally would not exist. I have been a part of many weddings now, and in every one, including my own, some of the richest memories prove to be the images captured of us all together.
I have close kindred sisters spread out all over the world. We live in an age where many loved ones are separated by distance. While we may have all been ridiculously close in high school, childhood, or college, the harsh truth is that some of our closest and dearest friends will be seen on Marco Polo apps and over text messages for the rest of our adulthood. We don’t crash on each other’s couches every weekend like we used to. We receive our children’s milestones from Facebook. We try ever so hard to schedule vacations or get togethers when we can travel from state to state. Given the current climax of the world, it really is more unknown than ever when we will all be back together hanging out.
But I will always have those wedding photographs that immortalize our bond, and radiate happiness in a way that an old android snapshot just doesn’t have the range to capture.
Don’t be afraid to ask for exactly what you want. Write a list of photographs you absolutely must have. It can be a pain to sit down and write out all the different shots you need and the order in which they will happen. But it is worth doing. Every time.
I created a detailed list of every single photograph I wanted with other people. This included my parents, my siblings, my sisters, my grandparents, my husband’s family, my bridesmaids, my childhood friends, my college friends, and a plethora of other combinations. We obviously all had photographs taken scattered throughout our lives, but to be all dressed up with a professional photographer was an opportunity I absolutely did not want to go to waste.
Since my wedding, my grandmother, grandfather, and father have all suddenly passed away. Guess what I have? I have photographs of us all together at my wedding. There is not any dollar amount that can put a price on those tangible memories.
When we created picture boards for my dad’s funeral, almost all of the photographs we had were because of my grandmother who was extremely passionate about capturing the moments with her family. We have a rich documentation of my dad’s life because someone had the boldness and assertiveness to demand family photographs, capture candid moments, and encourage us all to immortalize those precious moments forever.
Now, more than any other time in history, we have almost no excuse for not doing this in some capacity. Instead of playing a game or scrolling, stop to take the photograph. It doesn’t matter if we look perfect or “attractive enough”. We--and our loved ones--deserve to have these memories of a life that goes by fleetingly fast.
Be intentional. Be bold about asking and calmly stating what you will receive in the end. No amount of “wedding day stress” should derail you from the one piece of your special day that will remain immortalized for the rest of your life.
At the end of the day, the wedding ceremony and celebration really isn’t about the visual details or the decorations. Ultimately, it is about the bond of marriage; but even beyond that, it is about two lives intertwining. My life is the culmination of my family and my friends--I did not exist in a void. My friends were the ones who walked me through my engagement, my dating life, my hard break ups, my singlehood. And I cherish the photographs that captured the beauty of those friendship forever.
So take the pictures! All of them.
About the Author: Theresa Namenye studied Humanities, Catholic Culture, and Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She lives in Scottsdale, AZ with her husband Garrett and their children Leo and Aislin. When she isn't teaching fourth grade, she loves blogging, painting, and enjoying the outdoors.
