How to Talk About Cohabitation, Part 2 | Unexpected Ways Chastity Can Prepare You for Your Marriage

STEPHANIE CALIS

Two weeks ago, we started a discussion on what it means to evangelize your wedding guests by choosing to wait until after the wedding to live together. The first post in this series described what that kind of evangelization actually looks like, alongside tips for engaging your friends and family in productive conversations about cohabitation. We're concluding these posts today with points to consider in your own relationship and in preparation for the everyday of uniting your life, your habits, and your belongings with someone else's.

Chastity is creative.

Whether a couple is practicing chastity or not, the implication with living together is that they are having sex. For the couple who is having sex, the emotional and physical bond it creates can make it harder to see the relationship with clear eyes. “Whenever a person is sexually involved with another person, neurochemical changes occur in both their brains that encourage limbic, emotional bonding...Two people may decide to have sex ‘just for the fun of it,’ yet something is occurring on another level they might not have decided on at all: sex is enhancing an emotional bond between them whether they want it or not.” For the couple who is abstaining from sex, there's not really a way to convince people outside the relationship that they are living together, but not sleeping together, creating an occasion for gossip and scandal.

Chastity, which differs from abstinence in part because it doesn’t end in marriage, is creative. It demands radical sacrifice and bears a life more fully and freely lived, and it challenges and encourages you as a couple to express your love in ways beyond the physical.

How to practice for married life, without moving in together

Take the matter of how to practically prepare for married life, for instance. While some put forth that moving in together is a way to “test run” your potential marriage and determine whether you’re compatible in your living habits, I’d argue there are plenty of creative alternatives to practice for your future roommate status, including cooking, completing wedding projects and DIYs, and building furniture or making improvements to your future home together. Activities like these offer a glimpse of how your future spouse deals with mental or physical challenges, differences of opinion, and the tension between collaborating or pursuing tasks independently. Chances are, they'll also hold up a mirror to how you handle these same concerns.

What’s more, working on projects and small daily tasks together during a time when you are proximately preparing for marriage takes the “test” aspect out of “test run.” Although discernment doesn’t necessarily end at engagement, the two of you have made a commitment to each other. What that looks like, practically speaking, is a level of respect and permanence that wasn’t there before. The “test” or “trial” mentality tends to cultivate a sense of waiting for the other person to make a mistake or to cast doubt on your certainty, rather than call to mind the strengths of the other and encourage honest discussion of areas in which the both of you can call each other on.

Constantly purified

If you’re reading this and you are living with your fiance, believe that the Father knows your heart and the intentions behind that choice. He loves you so tenderly, desiring only your best good in a specific, personal way. It’s not too late to change your living arrangements before your wedding or to make the choice to abstain from sex until you’re married. It’s a bold, hard, and possibly inconvenient choice, but one that will strengthen your marriage before it starts by refining your ability to lay your desires down for the sake of the other. Bear in mind, as well, that some dioceses require couples to live apart for a certain period before the wedding as a part of their marriage preparation.

No matter what their living situation and what path they’ve been on, every couple’s path to the altar is a constant purification, constant fire. Whatever yours, know you don’t walk it alone. There is sweetness in the Cross’s heaviness, because on the other side lies immeasurable rejoicing. Living out our identity in Christ and our sexuality as they are meant to be lived makes us free. And freedom is for love.

We're eager to continue this conversation. Is there anything we've left out, or anything you'd like to add to the matters of chastity and marriage prep discussed here? What has your experience been of preparing for married life in the everyday?

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Engagement is a Teacher.

CHELSY TRACZ

To the recently engaged bride-to-be whose engagement has been hardly a Jane Austen-esque dream: you are not alone.

If you’re anything like me, you assumed your engagement would be the most joyous period of your life thus far. So what does it mean when your period of betrothal falls short of your expectations? My proposal and early engagement was indeed beautiful, special and meaningful, but it was hardly the idealized vision I had built up for so long.

Photography: Noteworthy Expressions

My fiancé and I had been seriously discussing marriage and discerning our future together for several months. Things began to move forward and we started ‘window shopping’ for rings last December. I finally allowed myself to begin my own Pinterest wedding board, complete with dresses, tablescapes, colors and centerpieces. By the time March rolled around, I was impatient, to say the least.

When he finally did drop to one knee, the moment was beautiful, yet it wasn’t at all what I thought it would be.

The day of my proposal, which incidentally happened to be my birthday, was only a week after the death of my dear grandfather.

I was still reeling from the week before, spent at home helping make funeral arrangements and caring for my family, while still trying to cope with my own grief. I was in the middle of my last semester of graduate coursework, and I had days of reading and assignments to catch up on, as well as a fast-approaching publishing deadline. We had even planned to stay home the night of my birthday so I could spend the evening catching up on work.

So when my fiancé's knee hit the ground, I didn’t get the exact feelings and heart flutters I assumed are experienced by every other woman who has ever been proposed to. As the girl who breaks into tears over a sappy grocery store commercial (Publix, I’m looking at you) or an overly cheesy episode of Full House, I didn’t shed a single tear during the proposal.

And I couldn’t understand why.

Why wasn’t I overcome by emotion? Why wasn’t everything magical, sparkling and covered in tulle? Or, at least, why didn’t it feel that way?

The proposal was the last thing I expected that night, but it was also exactly what I needed. I said yes immediately and without trepidation. I remember telling my new fiancé that it didn’t feel real; that I couldn’t believe the beautiful ring on my finger was actually mine; that we were finally engaged. I kept repeating that the proposal hadn’t sunk in... yet. He joked that when it did, he hoped my answer would be the same.

His lighthearted quip actually revealed a deeper truth to me. Our engagement happened amidst tragedy and pain; sorrow and grief. In many ways, my heart couldn’t fully experience all the floating feelings that I was sure should accompany such a proposal.

But that’s just the thing: I was still able to say yes, confidently and wholeheartedly, even when my feelings and the circumstances weren’t exactly what I anticipated.

I was completely confident this was the man God had given to me to journey through life and grow in holiness with. As a result of prayer and God’s grace, I knew this was the man I was meant to love. Forever. Even when my heart didn’t feel the way I thought it should and my much-anticipated tears of joy were nowhere to be found.

The weeks following our engagement were filled with further challenges. One of my fiancé’s best friends and would-be groomsman died suddenly at the age of 26. For the second time in as many months, we found ourselves in the midst of tragedy and deep loss. Meanwhile, my husband-to-be was beginning a new job while I was preparing for final exams and trying to hammer out papers. Not to mention, together, we were struggling to make initial wedding plans and secure dates and venues.

Why was everything so hard?

Despite these difficulties, through our and love and commitment to one another, we were able to face each challenge together, offering love and support to one another when we each needed it most. We grew in patience, charity and sacrificial love, but it was far from easy.

During this time, it just so happened that my Facebook feed exploded with the engagements of several other friends and acquaintances. Apparently, it was the season. These other women all seemed to be visions of everything blushing brides ought to be. I was inundated with Pinterest-perfect images of bridal brunches awash with smiles and pretty pink hues. Meanwhile, I was struggling to get a halfway decent photo for our save-the-dates (and having more than one emotional meltdown along the way).

I kept wondering why my engagement experience was so different from the one I was “supposed” to have. Everyone else seemed to have it. What was wrong with me? Or worse, what was wrong with our relationship?

Just as comparison threatens to steal joy from so many parts of our life, so it is in our experiences as engaged women. When we begin to compare the gifts and graces God has given us--or the pains and sufferings He allows for that matter--we doubt ourselves, our betrothed, our discernment and our Lord.

Our engagement thus far has hardly been smooth, easy or ideal. But I have oh so slowly come to realize that this road, with all its bumps and the bruises it has caused, is truly a gift from God.

Our life together and our marriage will be far from flawless. It will be mired by selfishness and sin, yet redeemed by God’s abundant grace. Both suffering and joy will be constant companions. As my fiance and I prepare to enter into the sacrament of marriage, we continue learning to love, forgive, and surrender to the Lord with each new day.

In the Christian life, we are asked to endure the pain of a fallen world, constantly supported by the grace of God, who gifts us with joy to shore us up for the times of sorrow.

My engagement has taught me to look for the joy amidst the sorrows of this life--because one is seldom found without the other.

The marriage vows make this apparent. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. If this is what we consent and surrender to, it is so very appropriate that engagement affords us the opportunity to start preparing to live the vows we will make to one another.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” Feelings and emotions are fleeting, but the marriage covenant offers us a way to sustain what is most important, even when our hearts falter and our emotions succumb to our own selfishness and weaknesses.

When your engagement isn’t going as planned and you feel swallowed by the unavoidable wedding-planning woes, rejoice! The Lord has great plans for you, for your engagement and for your marriage. I’ll keep striving do the same when I go through yet another failed wedding dress appointment, sub-par catering tasting or weather-ruined engagement photo session.

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About the Author: Chelsy Tracz is currently finishing her M.A. in Catechetics at The Catholic University of America and working for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops in the Pro-Life Secretariat. She will marry her beloved on the Solemnity of the Annunciation in March of 2017. Chelsy is a Florida girl with a southern heart who loves long days on the beach, warm summer nights, a good cup of tea and snuggles with her nieces and nephew.  

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Elise's Wedding | Our Favorite Marriage-Prep Resources

SAVE THE DATE ... our Social Media Coordinator, Elise Crawford, is marrying Hunter, her college sweetheart, on August 12, 2017. We're overjoyed for her and are thrilled to share with you a peek into one bride's real-life wedding planning. Over the next year, we'll feature monthly pieces from Elise on marriage prep, choosing wedding details, and her spirituality as a bride-to-be. Join us in praying for Elise and Hunter during this sacred time of anticipation!

(Photos: Meaghan Clare Photography)

Over the last few years, Hunter and I have developed our own library of favorite marriage and engagement-focused resources. I'm excited to share them with you today in anticipation that they bless you and your significant other, as well. 

The Temperament God Gave You/ God Gave Your Spouse by Art and Laraine Bennett: These books by a Catholic married couple, one a licensed marriage therapist and one with a Masters in philosophy break down certain tendencies, virtues, and weaknesses particular to the four temperaments of classical philosophy, with a solid spiritual element added in. They were so eye-opening to me! Although Hunter and I both agreed not everyone fits perfectly into the four temperament profile, it's is definitely a great place to start understanding yourself and your significant other in a deeper manner. 

The Jeweler's Shop by Karol Wojtyla: Not to be dramatic, but this is, hands down, my favorite piece of literature of all time. I first saw this play performed during my sophomore year in college and have read it at least five times since. I even wrote a paper on it in graduate school! The future JPII's play focuses on three different couples, all at different stages of their relationships. I can't recommend it enough! 

Three to Get Married by Fulton Sheen: This was also a very formative book for Hunter and me. Fulton Sheen taught at our alma mater, Catholic University, and was a brilliant priest. He talks about the ins-and-outs of marriage in a down to earth way while still communicating the mystery of the sacrament. 

Amoris Laetitia by Pope Francis: Hunter and I are currently reading this encyclical with our marriage mentors. After reading just the first chapter, I was completely blown away. The Pope definitely gathers the wisdom of the Church while also discussing the hardships and challenges that couples and families encounter as they live and breathe their vocation.  

Theology of the Body Institute: I haven't attended a course at the TOB Institute yet but I've had several friends attend and they have raved about it.

Through the Bible and Catholic tradition, Theology of the Body explains that our bodies reveal the deepest mysteries of God and humanity. 

Wherever you are in your faith journey, the Theology of the Body Institute is an awesome way for you and your fiancé to grow in your understanding of God's design for your marriage. 

Called to Love by Carl Anderson: I read this book while attending the John Paul II Institute, and it's incredible. If you don't have the means to attend the Theology of the Body Institute, I highly recommend Called to Love as a great alternative. Carl Anderson is the Supreme Knight of Columbus and makes St. Pope John Paul II's teaching on Theology of the Body applicable and accessible. 

By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride by Alice von Hildebrand: This book has made me feel much less alone during my engagement! The format is an older Alice writing to a new bride, Lily. Lily pours out her heart to Alice about newly married life. Lily's problems, fears and excitement are relatable, Alice's words refreshing and encouraging. 

Beloved by the Augustine Institute: Beloved is a 12-week DVD and study guide series for engaged or married couples. This is a great resource for education if you are your fiancé are looking to go a bit further in preparing for marriage or improving your relationship. Although Hunter and I haven't gone through the program personally, it's come highly recommended by several friends. It looks incredible and I'd love us to go through it eventually. 

The Little Oratory By Leila Lawler: One of my favorite books that I've read during marriage preparation! Leila is the mother of a college classmate and runs the successful blog Like Mother, Like Daughter. In The Little Oratory, Leila discusses how families can incorporate liturgical living into their everyday lives through prayer and intentional living. There are also beautiful icon images included with the book that make for a beautiful beginning to your own oratory. 

I'd love to hear your additions to this list! What are your favorite resources for marriage preparation? Share them in the comments below!

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About the Author: Elise Crawford is Spoken Bride's Social Media Coordinator. She is the owner of Ringlet Studio marketing. Read more

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How to Talk About Cohabitation, Part 1 | An Appeal to the Heart.

STEPHANIE CALIS

In an age where more than half of marriages begin with cohabitation and the majority of cohabiters view their living situation as a step towards marriage (whether that would entail a "slide" into marriage or an active decision), waiting until after your wedding to live together has come to be perceived as, at least, counter-cultural and at most, foolhardy. Well-meaning friends and family might receive news of your engagement with, "So are you going to move in soon?"

It's tempting to answer questions like these with an emphatic "Of course not," followed by a discourse on Church teaching. Honestly, though? That approach might not win many converts to your point of view; or, if not conversion, at least a clearer, more reasoned understanding of your views. Engagement is rich with potential minefields of moral questions from those you know, which also makes it rich with potential opportunities: occasions to truly listen to and see another and to defy stereotypes of what evangelization is all about.

Truth speaks for itself

I've become convinced that in many ways, the what of arguments in favor of the Catholic faith are secondary to the how of the way you present them. It's true that the Church's position on waiting until you are a married couple to act like a married couple is nonnegotiable. It's in the best interest of the person's capacity for virtue and true freedom. Yet often, appeals to authority and argument often aren't nearly as compelling as appealing to the human heart.

What I mean by an appeal to the heart is this: when you're living out your words, actions, sexuality, and identity as they're meant to be lived--that is, with the intention of cultivating authentic love and self-sacrifice, eyes fixed on heaven--there is something so arresting, so captivating, so eminently noticeable. In the case of engagement, a couple who chooses to forego convenience and to practice sexual self-control embodies self-gift. Their relationship witnesses to the truth of who we are, and the truth that joy flows from love’s demands. Love centered on Christ and on the other speaks for itself, all without saying a word.

A way to explain why you aren’t living together before marriage

But words are most likely going to come up at some point. So what's a faithful couple to say?

It’s possible to create a non-religious ethos without compromising your religious beliefs--after all, we as Catholics believe that the Father’s plan for our freedom and happiness aligns with natural law and natural virtue. When someone asks why you and your fiancé have chosen not to live together before marriage, consider asking him or her what the point of serious dating and engagement actually are. Once a relationship is serious, both people are committed to each other to some degree, whether that commitment has been communicated verbally or through an engagement ring.

If, during that time, the couple is preparing for the long term (in whatever way that looks like to them--cohabitation for many secular couples, and ideally not cohabitation for faithful ones), it's important to know what strengths and good qualities your partner possesses, and how their virtues will help you yourself to grow in virtue. Someone who opts to live together before marriage is essentially saying she is okay living and sleeping with someone she isn’t married to. A wedding ring won't automatically change that outlook.  

Granted, the likelihood of unfaithfulness in the context of this argument is a little extreme; there are certainly couples who live together and genuinely will good things for each other. Ultimately, though, the fact that your partner wants the fun trappings of married life but not the true commitment of having spoken marriage vows shows a lack of self-discipline and patience. Would most people want to be married to someone who could control their desires and say no, or to someone who couldn't?  

Choosing to wait until after the wedding to move in is a way to grow in that discipline and self-control. So, the point of a committed relationship isn't to see how much one can get from the other--the convenience, fun, and romance of living together before marriage, that is--but how much one can give, by loving selflessly.

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If you’re reading this and you are living with your fiancé, believe that the Father knows your heart and the intentions behind that choice. He loves you so tenderly, desiring only your best good in a specific, personal way. It’s not too late to change your living arrangements before your wedding or to make the choice to abstain from sex until you’re married. It’s a bold, hard, and possibly inconvenient choice, but one that will strengthen your marriage before it starts by refining your ability to lay your desires down for the sake of the other.

Check back in two weeks for the conclusion of this post, including practical ways to practice for married life without moving in together or diminishing the virtue and true freedom found in chastity.

Meantime, dialogue is so needed in this commonplace conversation, and we'd love your input: in your experience, has the question of cohabitation come up from friends and family members? Anything you'd like to add on the question of how to witness to the Catholic faith in an authentic way and how to answer questions about why you're waiting to move in together?

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Vendor Spotlight | Du Castel Photography

Real, free emotion on your wedding day--a first look steeped in joyful tears; the body language of a bride and groom with their backs to the camera, anticipating the lifetime that lies ahead; a whispered word during a first dance and the smile it incites--is fleeting. That's why wedding photography is so precious and enduring.

Brad Burckel, the owner of Du Castel Photography, was a hobbyist photographer until friends asked him to shoot their wedding four years ago. Since then, he's captured nuptials throughout his home state of Alabama, as well as other weddings on a national scale. Married for seven years and motivated by the beauty of their own wedding day, Brad and his wife Mary Margaret run Du Castel together. Equipped with a still-fresh sense of how and why to cherish your wedding photographs, he works behind the camera and her on social media. They've entrusted the business to the patronage of St. Joseph.

Brad combines photojournalism with simply posed portraits and close-ups, film with digital, and color photos with black and white to produce fine art-style images that exude a gorgeously authentic timelessness. Down to the name of the business, inspired by Brad's grandmother's French maiden name (it's derived from "of the castle") there's a tangible sense of something classic about his work. Flip through Brad's portfolio and that elegant, old-world sensibility is evident in every frame, yet what truly strikes us is the purity of emotion and candor in each shot.

The poet William Blake marveled at the reality that a human person can "Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand / And Eternity in an hour." That reality is so evident in the Eucharist, and before the altar at a nuptial Mass. To have that kind of transcendence, and all its accompanying emotion, captured on film is a gift of a miracle.

From Brad: I work very hard to produce the best possible photography collection for my clients, one that truly captures their love story. With that being said, I also believe that marriage is a holy Sacrament and I try to balance the photography with the importance of the day. My own wedding day was one of the most joyful days of my life and I want this to be the case with each couple. I also focus on providing a very natural experience, and producing photographs that those closest to you will treasure.

I've been inspired by our family trips to Europe, with all its history and beauty--especially in its cathedrals. My work is inspired by photographers such as W. Eugene Smith, Rodney Smith, and Steve McCurry. My goal is classic, elegant, natural, and authentic.

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Let God Plan Your Marriage Prep: Concrete Ways to Prepare for Marriage Even Before Setting a Date

THERESA AKRE LANCHONEY

When my fiancé Andrew and I got engaged we decided not to set a date right away, concerned that as soon as we started planning the wedding day, our thoughts would become consumed with details and to-dos. We wanted to ensure we had time to focus on us as couple and prepare for our whole marriage, not just our wedding day. For us, we knew briefly holding off on choosing a date would safeguard this time in our relationship.

During this time of waiting to set our wedding date, we made a decision to spend those months pursue marriage preparation over wedding planning. But we needed to figure out what exactly that would look like: How would we prepare for marriage? How would we focus on our relationship?

Our diocese requires a pre-Cana program, yet we felt our engagement would additionally benefit from something richer. By the grace of God we were already working with a wonderful priest who will be officiating our wedding, so together we started researching books and programs. My fiance and I considered couples we admired and might like to sit down with, and we asked other couples what they did for their marriage prep. It wasn’t long before we were completely overwhelmed!

The Church is becoming increasingly aware of how crucial good marriage preparation is, which means there’s an increasing number of excellent books, programs, and other resources devoted to it. We really didn’t know how to choose, or whose advice to take, when we realized it: Who better to decide than God, our loving Father? So we started praying something like this:

"God you know us and what we need. We are overwhelmed by the amount of options to aid us in our marriage preparation. Please be the one in charge of this. Please plan out and show us what we should do. We trust you.”

Soon after beginning this particular prayer, things started falling into our laps. First, a friend told us about the book Spousal Prayer by Deacon James Keating, which encouraged and strengthened Andrew’s and my prayer life together. Then, the Theology of the Body Institute opened its first-ever marriage retreat to engaged couples, and a friend paid for us to go as an early wedding present. After that, Andrew was finally able to attend the Theology of the Body I Course at the Institute, which we had been trying to make happen for over a year. Both gave us a deeper understanding of what marriage and love truly are and require.

Then, friends called and said they were taking a Dave Ramsey class just down the block from where I lived; would we want to do it with them? We initially didn’t realize this was a way the Lord was preparing us for marriage, thinking it was a great excuse to see close friends on a more regular basis, and who couldn’t use a little help managing money? But, boy did God have more in store for us than that! This class didn’t just give us a little help. It taught us how to communicate about money and set us on a path to financial health and responsibility, giving us tools to stay on that path for the rest of our lives.

After all this, we discerned that the time was now right to start considering a wedding date and signing up for diocesan requirements. We registered for NFP and pre-Cana, which for our diocese involves attending Living a Joy-Filled Marriage and God’s Plan for Joy, two programs designed by Ascension Press. These programs provided so many necessary tools we will need for our marriage and helped us begin implementing things like charting my cycle and making important decisions together. It was around this time that we also set our wedding date! We are now living in the joyful tension of preparing for our wedding day and our marriage.

The only thing that still felt missing was a mentor couple. We had identified couples we thought might be a good fit for us and had approached a few of them, but nothing really panned out. Asking for mentorship, we learned, was a somewhat awkward conversation because we didn’t entirely know what were looking for, just that we wanted guidance and wisdom from a couple further along in the journey of their vocation than we were.

Then, while I was working on this very article, one of the couples we'd had in mind, whom we hadn’t spoken with, called me out of the blue and said something along the lines of, “Hey, my wife and I have been talking about how we would love to mentor an engaged couple and share some of the things we have learned. You and Andrew came to our hearts and we were wondering if you would like us to be a mentor couple.” I could hardly believe that after all the Lord had given us, he was making this so easy!

All this is certainly not to say that you cannot prepare for your marriage and plan your wedding at the same time, as we did at the beginning of our engagement. It is to say that I recommend taking the time to figure out what is best for you and your relationship and inviting the Lord into that process.

We want God, who is Love, to be a part of our marriage. This season of preparing for it has become a constant invitation to God into our relationship.

I hope that my sharing what the Lord provided for my fiancé and I introduces you to some resources that are new to you  and encourages you to rely on the Lord in preparing for your marriage. He truly can be trusted with every little detail in our lives. He desires so deeply to guide and provide for us, if only we come before him and ask.

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Theresa is the oldest of seven children. She graduated from Purdue University in 2010 with a degree in Youth, Adult and Family Services. Following graduation, she moved from Indiana to Pennsylvania to work for the Theology of the Body Institute and has been there since. She loves hiking, drinking coffee on the porch, sunrises, the ocean, Frank Sinatra, laughing and a good cocktail. She is engaged to marry Andrew on November 5, 2016 and asks your prayers over their engagement and marriage. INSTAGRAM

Maria + CJ | Romantic College-Town Wedding

Maria and Christopher (CJ) were members of brother and sister households at Franciscan University when they met their sophomore year. At the encouragement of their many mutual friends, they started dating a year later...just in time for CJ to spend a semester abroad. During their months apart, they wrote hundreds of letters, spent hours on Skype, and even more hours in prayer for their relationship. CJ proposed the following year.

From the Photographer: Maria and CJ's nuptial Mass was without a doubt the high point of their wedding day, and it was absolutely beautiful to witness. The Church was filled with their family and friends. The Mass was celebrated with obvious joy by their Bishop and six priests, including three Franciscan friars from Franciscan University.

Both Maria and CJ were active members in their respective households at Franciscan and since they were married in Steubenville, where the university is, most of their household brothers and sisters were able to attend the wedding. It was wonderful to see pews filled with their college friends actively participating in the Mass and tearing up during the most poignant moments of the day--even the men! The bride and groom both received T-shirts from each other's households as gifts. Their reception was elegant yet simple, filled with good food, energetic dancing, and abundant joy.

Maria and CJ left a large amount of time between the end of their nuptial Mass and the beginning of their reception. This allowed us to take all of the family photos in the Church without feeling rushed, and as the photographer, I had significant time to capture beautiful and intimate photos of just the bride and groom. When it comes time to create your wedding day timeline, I highly suggest consulting your photographer. Ask how much time they advise setting aside for portraits, and listen to their guidance. Allowing ample time for portraits is a sometimes overlooked, yet it's such an important part of your timeline!

Photography: Mary Kay Anthony | Dress: David's Bridal | Flowers: Kroger (assembled by the Bride) | Church: Holy Family Catholic Church, Steubenville, OH | Reception: Williams Country Club, Weirton, WV | Videographer: Kelly Butler | Cake: Gus's Goodies | Invitations: Natacha Scherf 

Editors' Picks | Vol. 3: Bridal Accessories

At Spoken Bride, we love a good book, a good meal, a standout statement necklace, a heel you can dance in, and the list goes on. And when we make those discoveries, we want to tell everyone. So every month or two, we're sharing our latest and favorite finds in everything engagement, wedding, and honeymoon related.

Timeless or trendy, we get that it's the details that create a personal, unforgettable bridal ensemble. To dress and adorn yourself for your beloved is to make of yourself a gift. Though, of course, adornment isn't a requirement--you and your husband-to-be are self-gift in the sacrament of marriage simply because you are--choosing the jewelry, shoes, headpieces, bags, and other accessories that will accompany your gown is one of the most fun parts of planning. Each item you wear takes on the significance of something special. Not sure where to start? Here, from some retailers known and loved and some lesser-known treasures, a few of our favorites to suit a range of styles.

Jiza, Co-Founder + Creative Director

Hair Adornments by Twigs and Honey: Offering everything from a hair vine to a hair pin, these elegant adornments will create the flower crown look without going to the florist. Pair one of these dainty beauties with a simple, relaxed hairdo.

Shoulder Jewelry by Blair Nadeau Millinery: Have a simple dress and looking to add a bit more sparkle? I love these shoulder necklaces. Both delicate and ornate, shoulder jewelry is like the new bolero. 

Juliet Veil Caps by Erica Elizabeth: I am preparing a styled shoot for my business and have been eyeing these Juliet cap veils for a while now. I love how they are Shakespearean meets The Great Gatsby with a modern, ethereal twist.

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Andi, Public Relations + Vendor Outreach

Custom Family Rosary by Rosaries to Treasure: Have one custom-made with your husband's and you birthstones and that of your wedding month to carry in your bouquet, and later on, create one with the birthstones of your children! All of these rosaries are handmade and one-of-a-kind. I also love the shop's pearl rosaries for weddings and first communions.

Tieks! I jumped on the  bandwagon and bought a pair of their metallic gold flats. I live in flats. Between running around with my kids and at events I need a simple shoe that is comfy and can dress up or down. This is it. There are a ton of color choices; my favorites for brides are the ballerina pink and the bright aqua blue.

Silver Leaf Crown by Acute Designs: These crowns are handmade and so ethereal!

 Plaid Flannel Robe by Chez Blanc: Satin floral robes are everywhere right now, but now that it's fall and the weather is (supposed to be) cooling down, how about a cozy flannel robe? I love the checks combined with lace details.

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Stephanie, Co-Founder + Content Manager

Faux Fur Stole by Sheeta Design: For outdoor portraits at a rustic Fall or Winter wedding, the combo of drama and coziness is unbeatable. White is classically bridal, but my pick would be the tan shade for subtle contrast and a versatility that extends beyond wedding wear.

Marchesa Sunrise Cluster Earrings: I think the rose gold engagement ring trend is just beautiful. These statement studs, with stones in different blush hues, add warmth and sparkle that complements both rose and yellow gold rings. They'd be gorgeous as part of a vintage-inspired or classic ensemble.

Jack Rogers Eve Sandals: Although I've lived elsewhere, I'm a born and bred East Coast girl with a forever love for preppy-inspired footwear. Jackie O. popularized the Jack Rogers brand's classic Navajo sandals, which lots of brides choose, with good reason! But I like the delicacy and bit of height this Eve style offers for a bridal look--a twist on timeless.

Lace Bandeau by Blush Fashion: Filling in a low sweetheart neckline or paired with a high-waist skirt and sheer blouse as part of a multi-piece look, this handmade lace top, with its pretty floral pattern and delicate scallops, can be worked into your ensemble in multiple ways.

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Elise, Social Media + Marketing

Christianne + Ruthie Flats by BHLDN: I bought my wedding dress from BHLDN, Anthropologie's wedding line, so I know I'll be returning in the spring to browse their wedding accessories. I've known for a long time that I'll be wearing flats on my wedding day and I'm eyeing these two pairs for their gorgeous sparkle! 

Embellished Exit Dress by Kate Spade: Planning to leave your reception in a dress other than your wedding gown? Kate Spade's bridal line never lacks cute and flirty options.

Personalized Bridal Party Robes by The Applewood Lane: There's no better way to start your wedding day than feeling pretty while getting your hair and makeup done with your bridesmaids. These particular matching robes come in such a rainbow of colors and personalization options that you're sure to find choices that match or complement your wedding colors.

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We love making new discoveries through each of you! Help our community grow and share some of the bridal accessories you have your eye on in the comments!

3 Thoughts on Being an "Older" Bride

CHRISTINA DEHAN JALOWAY

Most “older” Catholic engaged couples--and their well-meaning family and friends--could easily articulate the downsides to getting married later in life: you’re more set in your ways, you're likely to have more relationship baggage, you have fewer years in which to have children, it’s more difficult to merge your lives together when you’ve been single for so long...

As a 32-year-old, recently engaged Catholic, I’ve meditated on--and sometimes been a bit freaked out by--all of these factors. At the end of the day I always come back to Pope St. John Paul II’s famous dictum: “In the designs of Providence, there are no mere coincidences.”

Photography: Zélie Veils

As much as I lamented being single, to varying degrees, over the past decade, I’m deeply grateful for the fact that I’m getting married at this point in my life. Not because I think it’s crazy to get married young; I have many dear friends and family members who married fresh out of college and in their early twenties. It's because I wasn’t in a position, emotionally or spiritually, to get married right out of college at 22. And so, in an effort to encourage my fellow Catholic brides in their 30s, and my friends who are still waiting for their future husbands, I present to you:

The Three Best Things About Being an Older Catholic Bride:

I’ve been to a LOT of weddings.

I don’t know if I could accurately count how many weddings I’ve been to since my college graduation, but it’s definitely in the double digits. I do know that I’ve been a bridesmaid in six of those weddings and have spent thousands of dollars on flights, dresses, and gifts for the couples whose nuptials I’ve helped celebrate. Some of the weddings were over-the-top platinum style and others were potlucks. I’ve seen everything from horse-drawn carriages transporting the bridal party to the reception site, to professional dancers performing at the reception, to the bride and groom taking the stage to perform with their own band. I’ve been to breathtakingly beautiful nuptial Masses, complete with full-on choirs, and to ten minute-long non-Catholic weddings that began with a slideshow of the couple (no joke).

At this point, it feels like I’ve seen it all. And that is a huge blessing--not only because I’ve been able to celebrate with so many people I love, but because I have a much better idea of what I want and don’t want to do at my own wedding. For example, I’ve been part of quite a few bridal parties that were so large it was impossible to remember everyone’s name, let alone have a peaceful pre-wedding time with the bride. So I opted for a family-only cohort of bridesmaids: just my two sisters, my sister-in-law, and my cousin-who-might-as-well-be-my-sister. I love that they already know each other, I can trust them all to pick out their own dresses because they all have great taste, and that I won’t have to fight them on any bachelorette party details.

I have lots of married friends.

It sounds trite, but I have learned so much from my married friends and siblings. Attending their weddings, spending time with their families, and babysitting their children has been an educational experience par excellence. My sister (married 7 years; three girls) and my dear friend (married almost ten years; two boys, two girls, and one on the way) get the biggest shout-outs here, because they have shared more with me about their struggles and joys as married women raising little ones than anyone else.

I love that I can ask these women anything and get an authentic answer without the sugarcoating. They love being moms and wives, but they are real about the hard stuff--and there’s a lot of hard stuff! Thanks to them, and all of my married friends, I’m much less naive and unrealistic about marriage and motherhood than I used to be (let’s just say that hyper-idealized romantic comedies were not my friend as a teenager and young twenty-something). I think these encounters with reality, the joy and the struggles, will be really helpful once I do get married and (God-willing) have children of my own.

I’ve had more time to work on my stuff.

From my point of view, this is by far the best thing about being 32 and about to get married. Back when I was 22, even though I desired marriage more than anything else in the world--which was symptom of my emotional immaturity--I was in no way, shape, or form even remotely healthy enough to unite my life to another’s. I think I knew this on some deep level, but when you watch so many of your dear friends enter joyfully into marriage right out of college, it’s hard not to think your ship has sailed and you’re doomed to roam the planet alone forever.

The thing is, though, I was wrong. I wasn’t doomed. And I wasn’t ready. Not even close. The Lord had a journey for me to go on, and lots of therapy for me to do, and he wanted me to do it without a husband and children in the mix.

All of this being said: I know lots of women who got married young and who have had beautiful, happy marriages. They grew up and went through the craziness of their 20s with their husbands, and often children, in tow. That was part of God’s plan for them, and I’m so thankful for my friends who began the adventure of marriage in their twenties, because they’ve paved the way for my fiance and me, and for countless other “older” Catholic couples.

I didn't meet my fiance Kristian until a month after my 31st birthday, and a couple of months after his 40th. We had a whirlwind courtship and got engaged a few weeks shy of our six month anniversary. As counterintuitive as it may sound, it doesn't feel like we're rushing into anything; the pace of our relationship has always felt natural. But as most "older" couples will tell you, the cliche "when you know, you know" rings truer when you've had longer to get to know yourself apart. Only July 28th, 2016, I was able to say Yes to Kristian with a depth of conviction 22-year-old Christina wasn't capable of, and for that, I have the Lord and his mercy to thank.

After a decade of prayers, tears, and hoping against hope, and the past seven months of living the answer to those prayers, I am confident that if you approach your vocation with prayer and openness to God's will, He will give you what you need at the proper time. Whether you're 32, or 22, or 42, and regardless of how much (or how little) you and your fiance have been through before you meet, the Lord can make something beautiful out of your union. I hope and pray that Kristian’s and my marriage will be a sign of hope to many, and that we can help build up and encourage our single and married friends through our Yes to the Lord on December 29th.

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Christina Grace Dehan is a catechist, high school theology teacher, freelance writer, and lover of beauty. She lives in Austin, TX and can't wait to marry her wonderful fiance Kristian in December. She blogs at The Evangelista, where more of her love story is published. BLOG | TWITTER | INSTAGRAM

Spoken Bride 1K Giveaway | Win a Handmade Lace Cathedral Veil!

In four short months we've reached 1000 followers on Instagram! All praise and glory be to God, and much love and thanksgiving to you for your support through prayer, social media engagement, and the sharing of your hearts and love stories with our community. Our prayer is this: that the work of Spoken Bride belong not to us but to providence, that we may be worthy vessels of our mission, perfected only by grace, and that the Holy Spirit inflame the couples who encounter that mission.

To celebrate, we're partnering with Olive and Cypress Photography to give away the gorgeous veil featured below. Handmade by Kristen of Gilded Shadows, an Austin-based shop that sources local and vintage materials and donates a portion of profits to charity, this light ivory, cathedral-length mantilla veil is entirely handmade and is edged in the prettiest, most delicate eyelash lace. One look tells us you won't be the last woman to wear it; it's truly a beautiful, heirloom-worthy piece.

Image: Olive & Cypress 

Here's how to enter (one entry per person):

1. Follow @spokenbride on Instagram
2. Comment with your favorite part of planning your wedding
3. Tag a bride (in your comment) who could use a little Spoken Bride in her life!

The giveaway is open now until Sunday, Oct 9, 2016 at 11:59pm EST/ 8:59pm PST. Winner will be randomly selected and notified via Instagram on Monday, October 10, 2016.

That's it! Head on over to Instagram for your chance to walk down the aisle adorned in this beautiful piece.

"The Church veils holy things—the tabernacle is veiled, behind the veil is the Body of Christ, and I am a vessel of life. A living tabernacle."

Click here to read the official giveaway rules. 

GILDED SHADOWS | Shop | Instagram | Facebook

OLIVE & CYPRESS | Website | Instagram | Facebook                                                                      

Elise's Wedding | Why It Matters That We're Marrying in a Church, and Choosing Our Mass + Reception Locations

ELISE CRAWFORD

SAVE THE DATE ...our Social Media Coordinator, Elise Crawford, is marrying Hunter, her college sweetheart, on August 12, 2017. We're overjoyed for her and are thrilled to share with you a peek into one bride's real-life wedding planning. Over the next year, we'll feature monthly pieces from Elise on marriage prep, choosing wedding details, and her spirituality as a bride-to-be. Join us in praying for Elise and Hunter during this sacred time of anticipation!

Photography: Meaghan Clare Photography at The Shrine of St. Anthony 

Hunter and I now are in the thick of wedding planning! In the last month, we looked at 10 different reception venues (!) and three different church locations. In the spirit of honesty... this process was much more difficult than I expected.

After viewing all of the venues, we chose a church for the Mass, one five minutes from my parents' home, and a beautiful reception venue located about 15 minutes from the church. We booked both for August 5, 2017. Well, one week after we did so, the reception venue called and informed us that August 5th was no longer available! Long story short, we ended up pushing our wedding back one week and booking another church.

Needless to say, this whole experience was a bit stressful. Coordination between the church and reception venue was not the easiest. So why, as Catholics, do we value the location of our wedding ceremonies? Why do we need to marry in a church? Why couldn't I just get married at my reception location? 

According to Canon Law, a couple who wishes to be married in the Catholic Church must do so according to canonical form. This means a marriage between two Catholics, or between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic, is to be celebrated in a formal church setting. Those who wish to wed someplace else, say outdoors, must obtain permission from their Diocesan Bishop. This is a true possibility, but receiving this permission isn't very easy. In order for a dispensation to be granted, there must be a grave reason why the couple cannot marry within a church. 

So, does the Church just want to cramp our style? Does it just like limiting our choices for wedding locations to make things difficult? Of course the answer is no! But why?

The answer goes back to the fact that marriage, at its core, is a sacrament. At the moment of our vows, Hunter and I will be entering into a sacred bond, something that exists beyond just the two of us. This 'yes' to each other involves not only our decision to marry, but it also involves our Creator, our Redeemer and our Lover, Jesus Christ. The act of having a wedding within the Church is a reminder of our origin as human beings. We were created in Love and it is within the presence of God, Love itself, that we promise a forever love to each other as husband and wife. 

As Catholics, we recognize the sacredness of a physical church. Not only is it a place of prayer and peace, it is the home of the Eucharist. One could argue that yes, we do find God's presence everywhere-- in nature, in every day moments--but it is within a church, in the presence of Jesus' body and blood, that we find him fully: body, blood, soul and divinity. The Catholic Church recognizes the beauty and sacredness of marriage and therefore asks couples to share in that sacredness on their wedding day; to enter into the sacrament of marriage in the presence of God himself ,asking him to be present with them as they begin their life together. 

Paulist Father Larry Rice wrote, "A church isn't just a set or backdrop for a wedding; rather, a wedding is an expression of a faith community's joys and hopes." One of the most humbling parts of planning a wedding is realizing that it's really not all about you and your fiancé. Suddenly everyone, not just the two of you, has an opinion about the photographer, the food, and the bridesmaid dresses! No matter how stressful, this is a good thing. Planning your life with your future spouse should involve your friends and family. It truly is a communal effort. Sacraments, including the sacrament of marriage, belong not only to the person or people receiving the sacrament, but to those they love and who love them. 

A sister once told me that a vocation, either to religious life, marriage or priesthood, is truly for the whole Church, the whole world. She is so right. Holding your wedding in a Catholic church is a beautiful act of surrendering your marriage, not only to God in asking for His guidance, but to the Church as a whole. By getting married in a church, you are making a statement to your community that says, 'Our marriage belongs to God, our Church, our families and our friends." Like the Eucharist, a married couple is meant to be broken and given. Their talents, love and future family are truly a gift to everyone they encounter. Through good times and bad, the couple will strive to make a gift of themselves to those around them. 

If you're having a difficult time accepting the Church's teaching on your wedding location, take heart. You are not alone! Pray to Our Lady and ask for her to show you the sacred beauty of the Church. Spend time in your local parish praying; open your heart to the beauty of the Tabernacle in front of you. 

Any brides out there that have struggled with finding a reception venue or Church location? Share your experience below in the comments! As always, please pray for Hunter and I as we continue on this journey toward the sacrament of marriage! 

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About the Author: Elise Crawford is Spoken Bride's Social Media Coordinator. She is the owner of Ringlet Studio marketing. Read more

WEBSITE | BLOG | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Joan + Matt | Summer Brights Wedding

Joan and Matt had met a few times before, yet it wasn't until Joan's best friend's wedding (the bride was Matt's cousin) that they developed a true connection. The night of the rehearsal dinner, Joan spoke again with the sweet, funny, smart, considerate man who was driving her and the bridesmaids to the dinner. She realized she was in the presence of someone extraordinary, and they spent a good deal of that night talking, dancing, and getting to know each other. They said goodbye that evening without exchanging any contact information, but became friends on Facebook three days later.

A few weeks after becoming a couple, Joan quit her job in North Dakota, found two roommates in the Twin Cities in Minnesota, and moved there to pursue a new job and live closer to Matt. Three and a half months after they'd started dating, Joan was back home in North Dakota, getting a manicure with a friend. Matt was supposedly in Minnesota with family for Thanksgiving, yet by the time Joan's nails were done, her phone rang and there was Matt, holding a flower, a ring box, and some tissues. As he walked toward his future bride, Joan shouted a joyful "Yes!"

From the Bride: Matt and I decided to get married in the parish that had become "ours" in the Twin Cities, where we'd made such a strong connection with our community and priest, instead of my home parish back home in North Dakota. We'd hoped for a summer wedding, and chose a day in July. I purchased my dress with my best friend, and I honestly didn't care for it on the rack, but once I put it on and learned that the style shared a name with one of my closest cousins, I said loved it immediately.

One of our favorite parts of wedding planning was choosing the readings and songs for the liturgy. We spent a lot of time listening to favorite songs and reading Scripture until we finally decided on the readings we wanted shared on our day. I also have always dreamed of writing a song for my wedding someday, so I was honored and excited to compose the psalm sung during the Mass, to the verse of psalm 37's "Find your delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desire." When I heard the song being rehearsed before the Mass, I broke down crying because it was just so moving hearing the words I'd prayed so many times come true for me that day. 

Matt and I had gone back and forth on doing a first look, and I'm so happy we did; it gave us the opportunity to spend more time with each other that day. It also allowed us to take pictures with our wedding party and family before the Mass, so we could arrive at our reception shortly after our guests did. We wanted to spend as much time with our family and friends as possible since many of them traveled so far to be with us!

Psalm 37 (Lyrics) - Written by the Bride, Sung at the Nuptial Mass

Refrain: Find your delight in the Lord, He will give you your heart's desire.
Verse 1: Trust in the Lord and do good that you may dwell in the land and live. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him and He will act. 
Verse 2: Wait eagerly for the Lord and keep His way. He will raise you up, and you will inherit the land. 
Verse 3: The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord. The Lord helps them because they take refuge in Him. 

Photography by: Bella Galla 

Not for the Perfect: How I Came to Accept, and Value, NFP.

CLAIRE WATSON

I love being Catholic. My husband loves being Catholic. But unfortunately we aren’t always the pearly white beacons of holiness we aspire to be. Sometimes we curse at our phones when they don't work. Last time I went to Adoration, I ended up texting someone to come relieve me after an hour. Often, we are that brassy Catholic family that talks too loud and drinks green beer on Saint Patrick’s Day.

That being said, I do try to honor the faith. First and foremost, I follow my conscience. I don’t ascribe to blind acceptance of dogma, but I do give the Church a running start and try to understand her teachings, even when I initially disagree.

Image: Claire Watson Photography

Before I got married I was a virgin, and I was pretty proud of that accomplishment (I know; pride ain’t pretty). So when I got engaged and started learning about chastity within marriage, I was miffed. I thought,

I’ve waited 28 years to have sex. Now you’re telling me that I have to wait even more if I don’t want to pop a bun in this oven?! Not fair. And what about the fact that the time that I am most … amorous… is the time that I’m most fertile and therefore won’t be able to have sex with my husband? How is that okay? How is that not sexist and a barrier between spouses?!

With that mindset, I promised, despite my irritation, that I would give the Church’s position a fighting chance. My fiancé was on board, and we agreed we would read the Church’s reasoning, talk with couples that practiced Natural Family Planning (NFP), and come to a thoughtful decision before our wedding night.

As we trudged through thinking, reading, and praying, something weird happened. I started getting mad at other institutions instead of the Church: why have so many feminists decided disfiguring the female pattern celebrates womanhood? Why do we throw 14 year old girls on hormones but buy organic hamburgers (the risks of the Pill speak for themselves)? After I started asking questions, specifically about the Pill’s shortcomings, my heart was softened to the Church’s reasoning for avoiding artificial birth control. The Church’s reasoning seemed sound, but what made it stick for me was something else; something not typically associated with birth control.

The Catholic Church cares about sex. A lot. NFP is not about putting the kibosh on your sex life. It’s simply telling you to not separate sex and the possibility of fertility. NFP recognizes that God built a pretty amazing pattern into women--even if you’re not sold on NFP just yet, at least check out the science for the sake of nerding out. Women’s cycles have a pattern of natural, fairly predictable times of higher and lower fertility. Because it’s part of a woman’s design, recognizing it and using it is not a perversion of that design.

The Church encourages husbands and wives to prayerfully consider their lives and means before attempting to conceive. However, this also calls couples to recognize that sex is always a potentially creative act. NFP seeks to “reflect the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child. By respecting the love-giving and life-giving nature of marriage, NFP can enrich the bond between husband and wife.”

And while I couldn’t possibly get into all the ways I think NFP has helped our marriage, I will say NFP has made me feel incredibly empowered.

It keeps our lines of communication open and keeps our sex about sex--it makes me feel so icky when I hear sitcoms joke about sex as a bargaining chip.

Now then, on to the thing that made it all click for me. Something that may turn you off. Something that would probably irritate a lot of your Facebook friends. Stay with me…

Life is neither to be refused nor demanded.

I was already pro-life, and I was tenuously coming around on the birth control issue, but honestly, I had never thought of the “life demanded” part of the issue. The Church denounces In vitro fertilization for the same reason it denounces artificial birth control: because it separates sex and fertility. This matter includes everyone from gay couples who desire a child to traditional couples who mourn an inability to naturally conceive.

And my heart goes out to them. I cannot sweepingly, callously announce to you that every person engaging in IVF is simply stomping their feet and demanding a baby. If anything, the teaching that there are moral limits to achieving pregnancy is harder to swallow than the teaching that there are moral limits to avoiding pregnancy. Sex and fertility are connected, and they’re important.

As a teen, a poem from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet about the relationship between children and adults really stuck with me. Gibran explained that if children are arrows, parents are not archers; they are the bow. In my youth I pondered how this meant parents shouldn’t try to control their children’s destinies. But Gibran’s words come back to me when I now consider adults seeking to become parents: 

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you...

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow…

In short, we do not own our children and cannot command or deny their existence. This is the basis for both sides of the NFP spectrum. God intended for sex and conception to go hand in hand. To separate the two, either for achieving or avoiding pregnancy, corrupts his creation and intention. If one’s body is injured or has a defect, there’s nothing wrong with attempting to cure the body so that it can conceive--that is in line with design. But separating sex and conception rejects that design.

Though my body is my own, my temple was built by God. And even while sometimes I’d love to change some things about my body, it is beautifully designed. The fact that God gifted me with fertility and breaks from fertility is something I no longer take for granted. It turned out all the Church needed was that running start and open mind.

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Claire Watson daylights as an attorney in West Virginia and side hustles as a photographer. She and her husband run their parish youth group.

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

Vendor Spotlight | Elizabeth M Photography

As a creator of photos that resemble film and a self-professed lover of black-and-white movies, Elizabeth Mahon of Elizabeth M Photography has a bit of a heart for the classics. What complements that old-soul sensibility is something else that's timeless and never goes out of style: generosity.

From blog posts describing her brides' and grooms' virtues--those hidden, personal qualities that aren't immediately evident when scrolling through a stranger's wedding gallery--to photos and well wishes posted to Facebook on her couples' anniversaries, to the fact that she's often hired to shoot the weddings of her friends and acquaintances from her alma mater, Franciscan University, Elizabeth embodies deep generosity of spirit in her work and her client experience. "It is often through our generosity that we are able to bring the love of God to life for others in very real and tangible ways," according to Matthew Kelly. In this sense, generosity becomes sacramental: allowing us to see, smell, hear, taste, and touch the love of the Trinity; where, in fact, is this love more tangible than at a nuptial Mass?

Elizabeth met her husband, Patrick, at Franciscan and spent a semester abroad in Austria, documenting the experience through photos the entire time. After seeing her photos from Europe, Elizabeth's friend asked Elizabeth to shoot her wedding, and the start of a business was born. "It was a beautiful Catholic wedding," Elizabeth shares, "and I remember feeling privileged to witness it in such an intimate way as the photographer." Her images that mix photojournalism with natural, unforced posing, all flooded with the most gorgeous natural light, truly capture the truth, goodness, and beauty she is so inspired by and that the Church offers the faithful unto eternity.

From Elizabeth: The sacraments have always played a large role in my faith formation. To witness so many Catholic weddings in my career is a true joy that has undoubtedly enriched my love for the sacrament of matrimony. I have shot all types of weddings over the years, but there is nothing quite like a Catholic Nuptial Mass.

I am inspired by truth, beauty, and goodness in people and in this world. I am inspired by authentic love, or most specifically, the sacrament of matrimony and the live-giving truth that it reveals about our Creator and His love for us. I'm also inspired by really good natural light, wide open fields, and contagious smiles!

ELIZABETH M PHOTOGRAPHY | Website | Blog | Facebook | Instagram

The Heart of Humanity: TOB for Engagement and Marriage + The 2016 TOB Congress

The Father's grace is always at work in the world, and it's surely preparing to rain down on Southern California in specific ways yet to be experienced. From today through this Sunday, September 25, the Theology of the Body Institute is hosting their biennial Theology of the Body Congress, in Ontario, CA; a gathering open to hundreds of ministers, missionaries, students, leaders and enthusiasts, both lay and clerical. Each time it takes place, the Congress intends to break open the wellspring of riches found in Pope St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body (TOB) audiences in light of a particular theme or issue.

The theme of this year's Congress is "Love, Mercy, and the Gift of the Family," and its mission is this:

The 2016 TOB Congress will propose a powerful vision of sexual complementarity that reaches the core of what it means to be human, made in the image of the God Who truly is a Family - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Through presentations from experts in the field of TOB, participants will encounter God’s plan for fruitful, self-giving love, which lies at the very heart of what the family is meant be, as well as ways of ministering to the human family on the spiritual, emotional, intellectual and sociological level.

The Congress' list of featured presentations reads like not only a dream list of Catholic speakers and theologians, but a prescription for the wounds our culture currently suffers in these areas. It's medicine; healing; delivered not with despair or complaint but with great joy and hope for restoration. Jen Settle, Managing Director of the TOB Institute, answered a few of our questions about an inside look at preparation for the Congress and, particularly for Spoken Bride readers, about TOB in regard to vocation, engagement, and marriage.

The theme of this year's Congress is "Love, Mercy, and the Gift of the Family," which is so fitting in light of Pope Francis' recent calls to the faithful. How did you all decide on this as the theme, and in a nutshell, how do you and the Institute view love, mercy, and the family in light of TOB?

As we were discerning the theme for this year’s Congress, the planning for the World Meeting of Families in our Archdiocese was in full swing, and so was the Holy Father’s call for the Synod of Bishops on the Family. We saw a great opportunity to connect Pope Saint John Paul II’s Theology of the Body to the resulting documents coming forth from the Synod. We also saw the great connection with Pope Francis calling for the Jubilee Year of Mercy. Love, Mercy and the Gift of the Family seemed to be a great fit for all of those events and movements in the Universal Church.

“Historical man is the human experience of love and sexuality after the Fall of Adam and Eve—this is all of us. We need the Lord’s mercy to have a deeper understanding of our call to be a gift in our vocation, through the gift of our sexuality.”

Love and mercy are at the heart of the family. In our world today, all families are in need of a deeper understanding and living out of love and mercy within their domestic church. The Theology of the Body is an in-depth study of love and family. The theme of mercy relates to the Lord’s gift of redeeming what Pope Saint John Paul II calls “historical man.”

Historical man is the human experience of love and sexuality after the Fall of Adam and Eve--this is all of us. We need the Lord’s mercy to have a deeper understanding of our call to be a gift in our vocation, through the gift of our sexuality.

The Congress is hosting a wealth of amazing speakers: Christopher West, Sr. Helena Burns, Matt Fradd, Dr. Angela Franks...can you share any stories about your experience working with these men and women in preparation for the event?

 I have been given such a gift by the Lord to work alongside men and women who love the Lord, love the Church, and Her teachings. These speakers are so personable.

They are men and women, just like us, striving to live God’s plan for life and love through the Theology of the Body. They each, with their unique gifts, talents, and experiences, deeply desire to share the Good News of the Gospel through a deeper understanding of our identity and vocation.

I am always amazed to see their humility, prayer, joy, and deep conviction that TOB is the new evangelization for our time.

For those of us who aren't fortunate enough to attend the Congress, will any of this year's resources eventually be available? If not, we'd love any recommendations of other resources that speak to TOB and its intersection with the culture.

All of the presentations at the Congress will be available through Ascension Press, individually or as a whole. You can find the presentations on their website.

You are co-leading a talk, "Love Looks Forward: TOB and the Single Life!" Would you care to share part of your testimony with our readers?

Last summer, I gave a talk at the Theology of the Body for Young Adults week with Dumb Ox Ministries in New Orleans, Louisiana. It was a talk on living single in community. In it, I shared my personal journey of discerning marriage and family and how I went about searching for a spouse in all the wrong ways--paved with good, Christian intentions, but nonetheless, the journey was filled with a misunderstanding of marriage and my calling to live it out.

“When I learned the Theology of the Body, it changed so much for me. It changed how I saw men. It changed how I saw myself. It literally changed my vocation.”

I saw all men as potentially “the One,” and saw them for how they could fulfill the need for affirmation and completion of my vocation. I didn’t see them as God was calling me to see them: as my brothers in Christ; someone to love for who they are, not for how they make me feel.

When I learned the Theology of the Body, it changed so much for me. It changed how I saw men. It changed how I saw myself. It literally changed my vocation.

Although I felt called to marriage and family, the Lord was calling me to a different marriage and family than I had imagined my whole life. I came to understand that the Lord had planted that desire for marriage and family in my heart and had every intention of fulfilling it--just not in the way I'd thought. Through the Theology of the Body and much prayer and discernment, I came to understand the Lord was calling me to become his spouse and a spiritual mother to many by becoming a Consecrated Virgin, living in the world.

“Without the Theology of the Body, I would have no idea what being a “bride of Christ” meant, or how I could live my call to spiritual motherhood.”

It has been a long journey and the Lord has been ever gentle and faithful. On February 2, 2017, Archbishop Charles Chaput will Consecrate me as a Virgin, living in the world.

Without the Theology of the Body, I would have no idea what being a “bride of Christ” meant, or how I could live my call to spiritual motherhood.

After sharing my story with the young adults at that retreat, I was so surprised by their reactions. Praise God, He has spoken to their hearts and opened up ways in which they, too, hadn’t seen the opposite sex in a way that was loving. Many of them came up to me after the talk and shared profound stories of how others had hurt them by not seeing them as God does or how they now realize that they have not been seeing others as they should.

Adam Fusilier, with whom I am co-presenting the Congress talk, is a wonderful young man who works for Dumb Ox Ministries and he’ll be sharing his story of living the single life from the masculine perspective. I’m very much looking forward to us sharing our journeys with those in attendance.

Pope John Paul wrote, "Those who seek the accomplishment of their own human and Christian vocation in marriage are called, first of all, to make this theology of the body...the content of their life and behavior. How indispensable is a thorough knowledge of the meaning of the body, in its masculinity and femininity, along the way of this vocation!" Since Spoken Bride readers are, generally, women who have discerned a call to marriage, what thoughts, advice, or resources on TOB can you share specifically with brides and new wives?

I always encourage men and women who are discerning their vocation to marriage, who are preparing for marriage, or who are already married, to learn TOB. I have seen the effect it has on individual spouses and on marriages. The TOB Institute offers weeklong courses in the Theology of the Body. These courses are the marriage of a course and a retreat. There is in-depth study of TOB, but in the context of prayer, Adoration, the sacraments, and time to process, as a couple and as an individual, what the Lord is sharing with them through Theology of the Body. You can learn more about these courses and where we offer them on our site.

For those who aren’t able to attend a course, I encourage people to look at TOB resources through Ascension Press or The Cor Project. Fortunately, there are really wonderful resources that can be found through those, and other, apostolates.

We love sharing personal stories and encounters. Do you have any stories to share of engaged or married couples from your courses who have been notably impacted by TOB?

 When I began working at the Institute, I had my personal journey of how TOB had changed my life, but I had no idea how it was changing the lives of people, of every age and vocation, across the globe. There are so many beautiful stories I could tell about how the Lord has brought conversion, healing and joy to people of all vocations, but I’ll share two short stories here (names are changed).

Bill and Julie came to a weeklong course in dire straits. They were separated after twenty years of marriage, and attending a course with us was their final effort to save their relationship. They committed themselves to taking the time between the teaching sessions to really talk through whatever the Lord was bringing up. They also committed to being totally open and vulnerable with each other. Throughout the week, they spent time together, shared the movements of their hearts, shared their hurts, prayed together, went to confession, and gave each other time for personal prayer and reflection. At the end of the week, they determined together that Bill would move back to their home and they would work things out. Bill and Julie came back for a number of retreats, and are still married to this day. They received much grace from their time with us and in their commitment to do the long and difficult work of healing with the Lord.

“It takes great courage to open your marriage to the Lord and the healing He desires. It takes great vulnerability and openness.”

Joy and Tom attended our courses separately. Joy came to a course after discovering her husband of five years had been addicted to pornography since before they were dating. They had two small children and Joy was committed to helping Tom overcome this addiction and find healing, but she knew she needed healing, too. She needed to come to a deeper understanding of sexuality; her own and her husband’s. Later she would encourage Tom to attend a course, but it had to be his decision. He had to want it. Tom did eventually attend a course and was open about his struggles. At the end of the week, Tom shared that his understanding of his own sexuality and of women had been malformed by pornography, but that he was coming to a deeper understanding of masculinity and femininity. He and Joy re-committed themselves to their marriage, Tom sought help with his addiction, and they are still married--and expecting their third child.

I don’t want to give the impression that by coming to a course, every marriage will be saved. That is the Lord’s work, and it is a long and difficult work for the husband and wife.

It takes great courage to open your marriage to the Lord and the healing He desires. It takes great vulnerability and openness.

What I have witnessed through my work at TOBI is that the Lord loves us where we are, but desires our healing. I have seen couples, both engaged and married, overcome great difficulties to find tremendous joy and healing with the Lord.

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Jen is currently serving as Managing Director of the Theology of the Body Institute. She has been part of TOBI since 2008 in various capacities, including Certification Course Manager and Director of Programs for the Internship, Certification, and Clergy Enrichment Programs. She has Bachelor and Master degrees in Theology and Parish Ministry from Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa. Jen worked in religious education and adult faith formation for 15 years before joining the TOBI staff, teaching Theology of the Body throughout the country.

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THEOLOGY OF THE BODY CONGRESS 2016
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Sarah + Christopher | Kate Spade-Inspired Wedding

Sarah and Christopher first encountered each other on a charismatic retreat at Franciscan University, where they both were students at the time. For two years after that, they were best friends, spending hours watching movies, going to Mass and praise concerts together, and having breakfasts with friends.

From the Bride: Fast forward to the spring of 2012, after a couple starts and stops of not wanting to ‘ruin’ our friendship, Chris asked me to be his girlfriend after the 7:00 AM daily Mass at one of our favorite spots. We should pause our story here to note that this Mass was the end of a 12+ hour third date that included a trip to the ER. We knew from then on that we were in this for the duration. We each moved back to our respective hometowns after graduation a month later. After two years of dating long distance, traversing between Dallas and Dunedin for weekend visits, Chris moved to Florida. Ten months passed, we added Bosco the husky to the mix, and Chris proposed.

Back on that retreat where they first met, Chris had given Sarah her first brown scapular, a sacramental given to St. Simon Stock, a Carmelite priest, by Our Lady. He proposed on the Feast of Mount Carmel.

From the Photographer: For Chris and Sarah, the Mass was the most important part of their day. Our Lady of Lourdes in Dunedin, FL, where the ceremony was held, is Sarah's home parish where she currently serves as the Director of Faith Formation. It is a more modern church with a lot of natural light, which added to the airy feel of the entire day. The two priests who presided at the wedding are close with both the bride and groom. Sarah and Fr. Chuck became friends on a retreat a few years back, and he actually made the kneeler that Christopher and Sarah used during the Mass as a wedding gift. Fr. Chuck also delivered a touching and personal homily and presided over the vows. Fr. Gary, who serves as the pastor at Our Lady of Lourdes has a tradition of taking a selfie with his couples...and Sarah and Chris were no exception! 

Sarah and Christopher are both from close-knit families with five children each. All of their siblings were included in the wedding party. Sarah and her sisters are particularly close, sharing matching tattoos even! Both of her sisters were honored as the Maid and Matron of Honor. Sarah also wore her older sister Mandy's pearl earrings.

Sarah has a love for bright colors and the Kate Spade brand. Her natural choice for a wedding day scent was Kate Spade's Live Colorfully, and she also wore sequined Kate Spade Keds that Chris gave her as a gift. She donned her signature bright red lipstick, which made her beautiful blue eyes pop against her fair skin. This couple has style for miles! Chris wore a slim fit gray tux from J. Crew to compliment Sarah's timeless dress from Athena's Bridal. 

In between the mass and the reception, the wedding party explored downtown Dunedin for photos. We stopped at Rosie's Tavern, a favorite watering hole for Chris and Sarah, as well as the marina and park off of Main street. 

At the reception, Sarah and Chris incorporated a wealth of personal details, including their own wedding coloring book and custom caricature cookies of themselves! For place cards, they alphabetized guests' names on post cards with some of their favorite destinations, including various towns in Florida, places in Chris' home state of Texas, and Franciscan University, where they met.

Photography: Elizabeth Mahon | Church: Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church, Dunedin FL | Reception: The Conmy Center | Florist: Carrollwood Florist | Stationary: Minted | Catering: Delectables Catering | Bride’s Dress/Veil - Athena's Bridal | Bride's Shoes: Keds x Kate Spade New York | Jewelry/Accessories - Something Borrowed-Sister's pearl earrings, Tiffany's pearl bracelet (gift from Chris), Something Blue - Godmother's Ring | Rings: International Diamond Center | Bridesmaids' Attire: David's Bridal | Groom's Suit: J. Crew | Groomsmen Attire - Combatant Gentleman | Cake Baker- Publix Bakery | Hairstylist: Jenna Donovan | Makeup Artist - Jessica Montalvo, Makeup by Jess | DJ: Grant Hemmond Disc Jockeys

Divine Romance: a Collection of Patrons + Prayers for Your Relationship

The communion of saints is also rich with holy men and women whose lives and spiritualities speak to spousal love, self-sacrifice, and beautiful witnesses to marriage. If you're in search of saints whom you can call upon during your engagement and beyond, as well as devotions you can add to your daily prayers, we have a particular love for...

IMAGE CREDIT: MEL WATSON PHOTOGRAPHY

St. Josemaria Escriva

The priest who founded Opus Dei rooted his prayer, writings, and homilies in the universal call to holiness. He viewed small, ordinary daily tasks as a path to sanctity, particularly for the laity. "Husband and wife will listen to each other and to their children," he wrote, "showing them that they are really loved and understood. They will forget about the unimportant little frictions that selfishness could magnify out of proportion. They will do lovingly all the small acts of service that make up their daily life together.” This novena, inspired by one of Escriva's homilies on marriage, has one set of prayers for the engaged and another for married couples, with piercing reflections on vocation, chastity before and after marriage, suffering and forgiveness, and creating a peaceful, loving home. Feast Day: June 26th

St. Joseph

It's beautiful to imagine the affection and pure love Joseph and Mary must have shown each other and the joys and trials they must have experienced while raising the son of God together. The novena to St. Joseph invokes this great man's strength as a husband and father and his guardianship of the Holy Family. Feast Day: March 19th

St. Gianna Beretta Molla

A wife and mother for modern times, Gianna Beretta Molla famously refused to abort her unborn fourth child in spite of grave pregnancy complications, at the cost of her own life. Gianna's relationship with her beloved husband, Pietro, is worth contemplation and admiration, as well. They constantly wrote each other love letters, were free and sincere in their expressions of love, and even years after Gianna's death, Pietro continued to praise her holy example and ask her intercession for their children. Feast Day: April 28th

St. Raphael

This Archangel is known as the patron saint of "happy meetings" and his name means "God heals". He only appears in Scripture in the Book of Tobit. Disguised as a human, Raphael heals Tobit of his blindness and heals his future wife, Sarah from a demon. In the New Testament, St. Raphael is credited with the healing power of the pool at Bethesda in the Gospel of John: "An angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond; and the water was moved. And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water was made whole of whatsoever infirmity he lay under" John 5:1-4.  Feast Day: September 29th

St. Jude

Healing might seem necessary only for major wounds or transgressions, yet it's in repairing even the smallest sources of division that we find deeper union and true peace. There is value in total honesty and a will to forgive and repair what comes between you; these prayers to St. Jude for the healing of relationships and marriages can aid you in bringing about that restoration. Feast Day: October 28th

Pope St. John Paul II

If this great man, a lover of free, faithful, fruitful, and total love and champion of the human person, seems like an obvious patron for your engagement and marriage, it's with good reason. His writings on truths about men and women and the divine romance of our creation and redemption read like a framework not just for a holy marriage, but a life fixed on responding to Christ's invitation into total communion with him. Here's a Theology of the Body-inspired novena, suggested to be prayed nine days before your wedding (or anniversary!) that invokes the intercession of the Holy Family, the archangels, and John Paul the Great for brides and grooms. Feast Day: October 22nd

Sts. Anne and Joachim

Tradition holds that, like Sarah and Abraham, the parents of Our Lady longed for a son or daughter for ages; after many years, God spoke and promised them a child who would be set apart for him. They are known as patrons of married couples, expectant parents, and those struggling with infertility. Seeking their intercession, in times of both joy and suffering, is a reminder that in his providence--whatever that looks like in your particular life and calling--the cries of our hearts are always, always heard. Feast Day: July 26th

Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin

We chose this couple, the parents of St. Therese, as patrons for Spoken Bride. They are the first married saints from modern times and exemplars of loving purely and entirely, rejoicing in suffering, and creating a home for their children in which even mundane, daily tasks could be consecrated to God and used for his glory. The Novena to Louis and Zelie and Prayer of Spouses and Parents for the Martins' intercession each invite a deeper spiritual and biographical understanding of their life together and unyielding trust in the Father. Feast Day: July 12th

We also love...

This sweet, simple marriage blessing that would be a wonderful addition to prayers for friends who are preparing for marriage--or for yourselves.  In a way, wedding guests have a responsibility for spiritual preparation just as the bride and groom do.  Prayers for the couple's marriage and, God willing, future family, is powerful and invites us as guests to experience the wedding in a way that draws us out of passivity; not because it's about us, but because together with the couple, our eyes are fixed on something greater.

A prayer for your husband that speaks the language of self-emptying love of the other. It's beautiful both for engagement and after marriage.

This nightly examen for married couples inspires the living out of your wedding vows, not just in the broad sense but in the details: carefully weighing your words and critiques, spending your time intentionally, and cultivating a servant's heart for your spouse and family.

The theologian Hans urs Von Balthazar wrote, “Prayer is dialogue, not man’s monologue before God.” Additionally, prayer is not a monologue between spouses, but two voices united, crying out to the Father--in suffering, in joy, in praise, in petition, and in all things.  May these prayers bear much fruit in your relationship.

The Surprising Problem with Having a Moral Husband

SARAH SLIVIAK SABO

Women of faith want a man with a strong backbone and pure heart to love and, God willing, raise their babies with. I am blessed enough to have won the love of a sacrificial, patient, and truly “good” man.

Although it's hard to believe now, I didn't instantly feel attracted to my husband. When I saw the way he treated every single person with genuine kindness though, I knew I wanted to be his friend and be more like him. I could write for hours about the way I fell in love with my sweet husband Robert, or for hours about the things he does that annoy me or make me want to scream (just being real here). At the end of the day though, his integrity will help me get to heaven. Although there is always room for improvement, we are both helping each other strive toward Christ in our daily actions. My point, friends, is to communicate that sometimes there is a danger or a lurking little pocket of resentfulness for those of us blessed with incredibly moral husbands.

Photography: Katzie and Ben Photography

I recently vacationed with my husband and our two young daughters in Chincoteague, Virginia. This particular area is small community famous for its secluded beaches and wild ponies. It was our first “real” family vacation and meant a lot to us. There were lovely, idyllic snapshots I will treasure forever: my 16-month-old squealing in delight each time she saw a glistening clam dig its way back into the sand; my oldest daughter’s courage after getting knocked down by a wave; the way my father and husband’s eyes grew big and childlike looking at their handmade ice cream sundaes; my mother’s compliment that my patience with my children amazed her. All of these are like treasures to me.

Yet the mosquito bites between my baby’s fingers, the oozing welts on my back, the biting flies that were so tremendously persistent at the beach, and the broken air conditioner at our house were some other snapshots I’d rather forget. One particular day as we biked through a wildlife refuge, I had a bit of an epiphany.

My husband was about fifty yards ahead of me on his bike, even while pulling both of our girls and a load of beach supplies in a trailer. I looked down at my feet, scarred from reconstructive surgeries, my leaking nursing breasts, and I felt so defeated. Here I was, riding through a beautiful part of the marsh, and I was so focused on the heat and how slow my body was. I recognized that I was defaulting in too self-deprecating a manner and realized I could take a life lesson from this bike ride.

I was bitter that my husband was so far ahead of me on the path even with the extra weight. I was jealous that there was probably a big smile on his face and that the combination of physical exertion, high heat, and sleep deprivation seemed enjoyable to him. Bam. It hit me right between the eyes in that moment: I sometimes feel this same way about my husband when he shows optimism or patience in the face of my own negativity or impatience. I grumble inwardly to God about how he is just more patient, more loving than I, and how it seems to be so easy and natural for him. I see him as a mirror, instead of a helper, for my own faults.

From now on I want to look at my scars and think what I’ve overcome. I want to look at my chest and see the nurturing I do. I will focus on beauty and rejoice in the small victories of character in my own soul rather than comparing myself to someone else. I will remember that Jesus died for me as I am, and that my husband chose me for a reason. I refuse to stare at my handlebars and the mosquitoes landing on my arms instead of noticing the wild ponies grazing in the distance.

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About the Author: Sarah Sliviak Sabo is a wife to her college sweetheart and a mother of two daughters. She teaches online classes for Mother of Divine Grace School and is the owner of Be Not Afraid Learning LLC, a tutoring business. Her life's goal is to make everyone she meets feel loved. 

How to Request an Official Papal Blessing for Your Marriage + Home

ANDI COMPTON

This article was featured on our podcast on 10/20/2020.

Have you ever admired the beautiful, hand-painted certificates at your parish or at a friend's home, commemorating an individual or couple's lifetime or sacramental milestone? This Apostolic blessing from the Pope, known also as a Benediction Papalis, is available to any baptized Catholic. Requesting a blessing from the Holy Father, along with a certificate that tangibly commemorates that blessing, is a surprisingly simple process that costs under $50 to cover the cost of the hand-drawn and lettered parchment and the shipping from Vatican City (wedding or Christmas gifts, anyone?).

The Apostolic Blessing is granted for Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Priestly Ordination, Religious Profession, Secular Consecration, Ordinations of Permanent Deacons, marriage anniversaries (10, 25, 40, 50, 60 years), birthdays (18, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100), and upon Catholic individuals or families.

Requests for Papal Blessings on parchment are only available online as of March 10, 2019. There are several beautiful parchments available to choose from, ranging from €18-26. The time required for receiving the parchment is approximately 20 days from the date the request is received, but plan on one month just to be sure it arrives on time. Postage is €18 with DHL Worldwide.

A statement from your diocese or the recipient’s diocese to certify that they are in good standing with the church is no longer required, however you are responsible for declaring that the person(s) you are requesting the blessing for are baptized Catholics, living a Christian life, are not participating in any groups hostile to the faith, are married in the Church, are not under any canonical penalties, and do not hold public office or public roles.

https://www.elemosineria.va/parchments/

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About the Author: Andi Compton is Spoken Bride's Business Director. She is the owner of Now That's a Party where she coordinates weddings, fundraising galas, and social events. Read more

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