Emma + Mark | Edwardian-Inspired Wedding

Emma was living in Philadelphia, waiting out the final week of a six-month online dating subscription on CatholicMatch, when she received a message from a handsome man from New York City. Their first in-person meeting began shortly after, the day Mark stepped off a train into Philly's 30th Street Station. They soon began dating long-distance, and ten months later, Mark got down on one knee in the middle of the station.

From the Bride:

Deciding where to tie the knot was tricky. We’re adopted East Coasters with friends scattered from Pacific to Atlantic. We ultimately chose rural, quirky and historic Eureka Springs, Arkansas--an hour away from my parents--for our semi-destination wedding.

Mark is a convert who was drawn to Catholicism through the beauty of the traditional Latin Mass. Our wedding mass was in English, but we were able to find a schola choir nearby to chant parts of the liturgy in Latin.

The Crescent 1886 Hotel, where we held our reception, claims to be one of the most haunted hotels in America. This was not a deal breaker for us! It happened to be situated within walking distance of a quaint, historic Catholic Church, itself a rarity in the South. We wanted a moody, vintage and romantic feel for our wedding, and the entire area made me think of an Edwardian ghost story come to life. 

I was initially afraid planning a wedding out of state would make including personal touches impossible. However, we ended up with more DIY projects than anticipated, and found many ways to reflect our style and talents. Mark and I are both graphic design savvy, for instance, so we created & printed our Save-The-Dates, invitations, programs, place cards and all other wedding signage ourselves. 

Antiquing is a passion in my family. Every time I come home to Arkansas, my mother and I scour area junk shops for oil lanterns with hurricanes, antique medicine bottles, and authentic vintage mercury glass. I showcased some of our finds for the reception, and ended up following some online tutorials and creating additional mercury glass votives and vases. 

Our wedding favor was a small jar of home-infused mint & blueberry tequila (Combine 4 cups tequila, preferably 100% agave, 2 cups blueberries, and 1/4 cup mint in a sealed container for 4-7 days, then strain). I made something similar as a gift for Mark on our first Valentine’s Day, and home-infusing has since become a bit of a shared passion. We infused & bottled it over the space of a few weeks, assembly line-style, in my kitchen. A caravan of friends driving to the wedding transported the bottles from Philadelphia to Arkansas for us.

Choosing vendors off the internet was a bit challenging, but easier than it could’ve been in the age of video chat and peer-reviews. We went with less traditional retailers for our wedding party’s attire and were pleased with the overall ease and quality. And we hit the jackpot with our photographer, Kinsey Mhire, whom we met in person for the first time on the morning of our wedding!

I found all the tropes and hackneyed sayings people spout about your wedding day to be maddeningly true. It does go fast, you won’t get to spend the quality time with each guest that you might like to, and definitely don’t forget to eat. I woke up early, made some coffee and spent some quiet time on the porch by myself, praying and reflecting about the solemnity of our vows and what lay ahead. I’ll repeat some more tropes and say that the day winds up being special not because of the details you have planned, but because it seals you & your beloved in a covenant.

Photographer's Website : Kinsey Mhire  | Nupital Mass or Engagement Location: St. Elizabeth of Hungary Catholic Church | Wedding Reception Venue : The Crescent 1886 Hotel | Rings: Marisa Perry Atelier  | Wedding Dress: David’s Bridal | Bridesmaids Dresses: Azazie  | Groomsmen’s Suits: The Black Tux | Music: Twin Lakes Radio  | Ceremony Music: The Gregorian Schola of St. Joseph Parish | Donuts / Cake: Rick’s Bakery | Day-Of-Coordinator: The Vintage Soul | Invitations & Stationary: Created by the Bride www.emmadallman.com

Elise's Wedding | 3 Tips to Thriving, Not Just Surviving, During a Long Engagement

ELISE CRAWFORD

Save the date ...our Social Media Coordinator, Elise Crawford, is marrying Hunter, her college sweetheart, on August 12, 2017. We're overjoyed for her and are thrilled to share with you a peek into one bride's real-life wedding planning. Over the next year, we'll feature monthly pieces from Elise on marriage prep, choosing wedding details, and her spirituality as a bride-to-be. Join us in praying for Elise and Hunter during this sacred time of anticipation!

Let's get right down to it: this month we're talking about long engagements. Whether you've had a six-month engagement or two-year engagement I think we can all agree on one thing: the timing of your wedding is extremely personal. And wedding planning can be more complicated than you thought it would be when you first slipped that pretty ring on your fourth finger. It is such a blessed time of continued courtship, planning and excitement. However, engagement is much like a baptism by fire. As a couple, you are melding two families' expectations, traditions and cultures, along with yours and your fiancé's. The emotional and logistical process of two becoming one starts now, long before you both say "I do".

Hunter and I did not plan on having a long engagement. We were 22 when we got engaged and we'll be 26 when we marry. We'll have been together for seven years! This has been a blessing and a struggle. Sometimes it feels as if we already know everything there is to know about the other or we struggle to keep our gaze on our vocation. But I have to say, in these times of confusion, stress or dryness, the Holy Spirit always provides his grace and peace. We have learned how to stay close to the heart of Jesus and allow him to be the source of our relationship.

Below are my top three tips for thriving, not just surviving during engagement. These practices have been a blessing to us over the course of our engagement. Please take them to heart, share your own tips in the comments below, and continue to pray for couples throughout the world.

1. Seek out a Mentor Couple. Because Hunter and I finished the marriage preparation required by our Diocese fairly early on in our engagement, we decided to continue marriage preparation outside of the normal requirements. This spring we asked a beautiful couple, friends of friends, to mentor us throughout our engagement and into the early part of our marriage. This doesn't have to be anything formal or intimidating! Hunter and I have both been intentional about surrounding ourselves with strong, Catholic married couples as models of what we hope for in our own marriage. We meet with our mentor couple every other month. Sometimes they invite us over for dinner, sometimes we go on double dates, and sometimes we just chat over Skype. This past summer we have been reading Amoris Laetitia. During our meetings we'll talk about any points that stood out to us.

Even if you don't feel called to seek out a mentor couple at this time, still make sure to intentionally surround yourself with support during your engagement, especially if it is a longer period. I'll never forget the Mass I attended at in St. Peter's in Rome, wherein a nun and I struck up a conversation before the liturgy began. She told me a vocation is never only for the individual; it truly is for the human family. Your marriage is a gift to your families and to your community, near and far. Continue to build that community during your engagement and be intentional about spending time with the holy couples and friends around you.

2. Continue to Nurture Your Relationship. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that once you're engaged, your discernment journey is over. In my experience, this is far from the truth! As you plan your wedding, continue to foster your relationship. Don't take your future spouse for granted. This might seem like simple advice, but amidst a busy daily life, with wedding planning on top of it, it's easy to forget about date night or prayer time together. Hunter and I actually started an engagement journal a year ago. Using a large Moleskin journal, we trade off each having the book for a certain amount of time. While each of us has the book, we write about what is on our heart, our hopes and dreams for our marriage. This is a way for you to connect on a deeper level and still learn about your fiancé. I love reading Hunter's notes once it's my turn to have the journal!  

Prayer is an obvious way to nurture your relationship, but you may experience that praying together while engaged is different from praying together when you were dating. Maybe one of you tends more towards charismatic prayer (myself!) or one of you more towards a monastic style (Hunter!). Be patient with one another and work to incorporate both styles of prayer into your routine. Just as you surround yourself with community, surround your engagement in prayer! The enemy does not wish for your marriage to happen. Period. Your marriage will bring too much life and goodness into the world! Be aware of any spiritual attack. Make sure to pray with and over your beloved as often as possible.

3. Be Patient, Prudent and at Peace. It's a marathon, not a sprint here! When it came down to it, Hunter and I decided to have a longer engagement. After much deliberation, many tears and discussions with our parents, we decided it wasn't prudent to get married before the date that we've set.  Now, many might disagree with that decision, and that's okay. I've learned to be patient with others and with ourselves as Hunter and I have prepared for marriage. The Church recommends a six month to a year long engagement, but it is a recommendation. There is no right or wrong answer here. As long as your fiancé and you are intentionally discerning a marriage date and are actively seeking out options, be at peace and know that the Lord is with you. 

Throughout our engagement, Hunter has often told me the story of his great-grandparents. His great-grandfather, Umberto Aberelli, was an engineer from Rome and his great-grandmother Angelina was a woman from Napoli. They were a fun-loving couple who were deeply devoted to their Catholic faith. A month after proposing to Angelina, Umberto left for America. For five years he diligently worked to make a life for himself, his wife and their future family. Eventually, Umberto returned to Rome, the couple was married, and they moved to America to begin their lives together. Umberto and Angelina's love and devotion to one another during their time of separation and engagement has given me hope during my own long engagement. 

The lesson of the story here is that every engagement looks different. Be prudent when deciding upon engagement and on your wedding date. Marriage is both a spiritual and material vocation. The blending of your lives together takes time, planning and patience. Give each other space to voice your opinions about how to want to plan your lives together, what you would like your married life to logistically look like, and how you can make that happen. You will change and grow during your engagement, and that's okay. Support one another with love and patience while you both experience those changes.

Bonus Tip: Have a friend who just got engaged? My biggest recommendation is to simply offer empathy and a listening ear. Don't add your own expectations or wishes upon the bride's already loaded plate. Offer her your advice when asked, and unreservedly offer your prayers during this time of formation. Whether she has a long or short engagement, support her and her fiancé's decision once they set a date or if they have not been able to set a date, help her to prayerfully discern a decision.  

I hope these tips have resonated with you or a loved one. Please feel free to share your own questions or tips in the comments!

Photography by Alicia of Love Knot Photo

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About the Author: Elise Crawford is Spoken Bride's Social Media Coordinator. She is the owner of Ringlet Studio marketing. Read more

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Vendor Spotlight | Sea & Sun Calligraphy

In the beginning was the Word (John 1:1)...Through both Jesus's incarnation and through the sacraments, the Word becomes flesh. This truth is so tangible, so powerfully evident, in the celebration of the Eucharist and the Rite of Marriage at a nuptial Mass.

Words have power: the language of the Mass, and of a bride and groom's wedding vows, bring Love himself into our presence and very beings. So what better way to honor that profound communion than by making these words visually beautiful?

Marisol Acosta, owner of Sea & Sun Calligraphy, translates the beauty of authentic love and sacramental marriage into something the eye can see. Her love for lettering began when Marisol first picked up a fountain pen in middle-school; years later, she began pursuing new calligraphy techniques and fell for the art a second time. Her portfolio with Sea & Sun, which includes everything from hand-lettered envelopes to reception details to bridal shower elements and beyond, is a wellspring of inspiration. Sea & Sun's gorgeously lettered invitations and addressing, reception details, and bridal shower elements, along with dreamy watercolor art, invite Marisol's brides to think beyond typical calligraphed invitation suites. Extending hand lettering and artwork to other wedding elements helps create a unified wedding look, from guests' first time opening their invites in the mail to snapping pictures of the tablescapes at the reception.

For brides local to Southern California who'd like to try their own hands at learning Sea & Sun's elegant, precise style, workshops are offered.

From Marisol: Sea & Sun Calligraphy is a unique calligraphy service offering the finest detail of handwritten calligraphy designs for special events. I understand the sacredness of the sacraments, and love assisting you in adding an unforgettable touch of elegance to such lovely occasions. My advice to brides is that beginning a marriage deeply rooted in faith, along with the sacraments, and with the guidance of our Holy Mother Church, is what helps build strong and holy marriages.

Click to Enlarge Images

Marisol Acosta

Marisol Acosta

Marisol Acosta

Camarie McBride Photography

Marisol Acosta

Marisol Acosta

Marisol Acosta

Marisol Acosta

Marisol Acosta

Sasha Gabriel Photography

SEA & SUN CALLIGRAPHY | Website | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

Uncommonly Classic Wedding Ideas for the Rebellious Bride

ANGELA VAZZANA

Okay, so maybe not rebellious, really. You love the Church and the liturgy and orthodoxy, because traditions are wonderful and tie us to the Body of Christ; past, present, and future. But you’re frustrated with all the wedding customs you’re expected to follow that, while lovely in their own way, aren’t actually necessary for a Catholic wedding or relevant to the essence of the sacrament. If that sounds like you, consider mixing it up a little! Below are some ideas to change up those details in meaningful ways that stay true to--and even showcase--the beauty of Catholic matrimony.

And if that doesn’t sound like you, that’s totally fine too! I’ll be the first to say my wedding was pretty conventional; I didn’t incorporate any of the ideas here. Your wedding will be no less special, beautiful, or appreciated by your friends and family regardless of where you fall on the mainstream-alternative spectrum. Also, of course, anything you choose for your wedding shouldn’t be a source of conflict or scandal, and if you’re concerned or undecided about anything, ask your priest or trusted friends and family for guidance.

Jeremy Wong

The Dress: Did you know the white wedding dress is really a relatively new trend that started in the Western world with Queen Victoria’s wedding in 1840? Prior to that, women would simply wear their nicest dress of any hue, or a different culturally significant color. I’ve heard that in Ireland, the longtime most popular wedding dress color was blue as a way of honoring the Blessed Mother!

A lot of people might assume white dresses are mandatory to symbolize a bride’s purity, but that’s not the case--there aren’t really universal expectations about attire aside from modesty and due reverence for the occasion, though it's prudent check with your parish for local or diocesan guidelines. Maybe you feel most confident and beautiful in jewel tones, or you want to honor your cultural heritage with clothing from that tradition--I once attended a Catholic wedding where the bride, who was from Vietnam, wore a beautiful traditional red garment--whatever your reason, your options aren’t necessarily limited to ivory, white, or cream!

The Wedding Processional: It’s pretty much taken for granted now that the “grand finale” of the wedding processional is the bride walking down the aisle with her father (or, more recently, with both parents). Some might daydream about that moment, anticipating the drama of seeing their groom waiting at the end of the aisle, which is definitely a special moment that makes for some breathtaking photos. Yet it certainly doesn’t speak to everyone the same way--and if you count yourself among that mindset, the Catholic Rite of Marriage actually recommends a different option.

It’s really a cultural convention that most weddings follow the “Here Comes the Bride” procession model, but the Roman Rite actually prescribes that the bride and groom process last, down the aisle together, with their parents and/or witnesses. I think this is an awesome way to symbolize the couple’s mutual consent to enter into the marriage, as well as emphasize one of the most amazing things about the nuptial Mass--that the bride and groom themselves are the actual ministers of the sacrament.

The Witnesses: The official witnesses to your marriage are there to verify that you and your spouse have entered into a valid marriage, so of course you’ll want to choose someone close to your heart for this. Usually, the witnesses are the bride’s Maid or Matron of Honor and the groom’s Best Man. However, if you or your fiancé happen to be closest with a sibling or friend of the opposite sex, there’s no reason why they can’t participate in this special role. Of course, this isn’t really something chosen for aesthetic reasons or to make a statement, but don’t feel pressured to miss out on asking your brother or best friend if that’s who you feel knows you best. 

Above all, the decisions you make about your wedding should reflect what we as Catholics proclaim about marriage. In the words of Pope Francis, "It is good that your wedding be simple and make what is truly important stand out. Some are more concerned with the exterior details, with the banquet, the photographs, the clothes, the flowers…These are important for a celebration, but only if they point to the real reason for your joy: the Lord's blessing on your love."

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Angela Vazzana married her husband on a hot July day in 2013 at her alma mater, Mount St. Mary's University, where she studied philosophy and communications. She is a security analyst for NASA by day and nourishes her creative side by night by playing the piano and guitar, planning themed parties, or feeding her mild Instagram addiction. While she and her husband can usually be found any given fall day cheering for the Redskins or Wizards, they are most excited this fall for the arrival of their first child. 

Editors' Picks | Vol. 2: Love Songs

At Spoken Bride, we love a good book, a good meal, a standout statement necklace, a heel you can dance in, and the list goes on. And when we make those discoveries, we want to tell everyone. So every month or two, we're sharing our latest and favorite finds in everything engagement, wedding, and honeymoon related.

Late summer's got us thinking about long, leisurely talks outside as the sun goes down and evening sets in--how could a little music not improve on the atmosphere (and maybe encourage a spontaneous dance)? Below, a few of our favorite love songs and first dance contenders. Click on the titles to listen in Spotify!

PHOTOGRAPHY: KINSEY MHIRE PHOTOGRAPHY, seen in Emma + Mark's Edwardian-inspired wedding

Andi, Business Director

 Colbie Caillait, "I Do:" I love how just casual and playful this song is and it brings a smile to my face. Definitely a good pick for an informal reception, maybe even one with a beach theme.

The Lumineers, "Ho Hey:" I coordinated a wedding where this was the song, and it made me love it a million times more than I already did. Sweet lyrics, with a fun beat and just a hint of quirk.

Michael Buble, "The Way You Look Tonight:" I chose Michael Buble's version of this standard because it's a little more upbeat and jazzy than other renditions, yet still a classic you can dance to every anniversary and never tire of hearing.

Matt Maher, "Set Me As a Seal:" It's a classic! I loved when my husband would sing this to me while we were engaged.

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Elise, Social Media Coordinator

Jason Mraz, "I Won't Give Up": This song came out when I was studying abroad in Rome, during which my fiance Hunter and I had not seen each other for five months. The song gave me courage to keep pursuing our relationship though we were hundreds of miles apart. I love the line, "And God knows we're worth it".

Sleeping at Last, "I'm Gonna Be (500 miles)": This is a bit of a slower song but I recently discovered it through a friend's wedding video and I fell in love. Such a dreamy song!

Harry Connick Jr., "It Had to Be You": This was my parents' wedding song, so I grew up with these tongue-in-check lyrics filling my household. I think it's a fun song and is great for a first dance.

Aretha Franklin, "At Last": An absolute classic that I've loved since college, this song always reminds me of the joy found in marriage, as it's expressed perfectly in Scripture: "Then the man said, 'This AT LAST is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man" (Genesis 2:23).

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Jiza, Co-Founder + Creative Director

George Strait, "I Cross My Heart:" Just a good, classic country love song.

James Taylor, "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You):" Another classic throwback!

Jack Johnson, "Better Together:" So cute, laid-back, and fun.

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Stephanie, Co-Founder + Editor in Chief

Dee Simone, "Lovesick:" The bride in the Song of Songs is all of us: deeply longing to find her love; on edge with hope and anticipation; freely willing to give herself to him entirely. "Is that your hand at the door?" Simone begins. I felt a pang in my chest, then sobbed the first time I heard this song written from the bride's perspective. The poetry and soaring piano and string arrangement makes me ache and is, in a word, breathtaking.

Jon Foreman, "In My Arms:" "Love, we sleep apart for the last time," sings Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot, on this solo recording; a tender whisper of a song that speaks to the dream and promise of two lives becoming one.

Brooke Fraser, "Something In the Water:" Hand claps, a driving beat, and relentlessly sunny images of wine on a summer night, lazing in a hammock, and daydreaming about your beloved: this is the sound of being joyously, boundlessly in love.

Peter Gabriel, "In Your Eyes:" This song is a classic, and with good reason. Most mainstream ballads don't touch on the less emotional, more spiritually-based aspects of love, and because "In Your Eyes" does, maybe that's why it's endured since the 80s. "The grand facade so soon will burn/without a noise, without my pride/I reach out from the inside:" looking outside of your own self, making yourself a gift, vulnerable yet unafraid of being truly seen and known, is the stuff marriage is made of.

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Listen to all of the editor's picks on various playlists over on Spotify. We love making new discoveries through each of you! Help our community grow and share your favorite love songs or first dance pick in the comments!