Alana + Stephen | California Air Force Wedding

Alana and Stephen met through a mutual friend during their college years in San Diego. They quickly fell in love, though with a major difference between them: Alana was a Non-Denominational Protestant, and Stephen was Catholic. The Lord was about to draw them into his heart.

From the Bride: Throughout our relationship, I prayed asking God what to do and--if Stephen was the one--how would our interfaith marriage work. I ended up finding a book written by a Catholic Priest, Robert J. Hater: When A Catholic Marries A Non-Catholic. It answered so many of my questions and I was even able to contact Fr. Hater! He became my spiritual counselor, and later that year I converted to Catholicism.

My faith has grown immensely since converting and having Stephen by my side to answer any questions and support me has only made our love for each other grow. We became engaged on December 23, 2016 and later found out Stephen's report date for pilot training moved up for the Air Force. We had a short engagement, yet God was looking out for us and provided us with a church and reception venue.

When we found an available church, we fell in love. Not only was it beautiful and in a great location, but we had a priest, Fr. Mark, who was a family friend of Stephen's. My mother-in-law is involved in Opus Dei and told us amazing things about Fr. Mark. We met with him once before the wedding and told him of my conversion story and more about our relationship. During our wedding liturgy, he gave an amazing homily that nodded to Stephen’s Air Force career, comparing flying to marriage.

For the readings, we wanted to include our family. Since I don't have grandparents, I asked Stephen's father's mother, and Stephen asked his mother's mother. It was such a lovely moment seeing both grandmothers holding hands up as they walked up to the altar. My only uncle and his family offered the gifts, and I loved including them even though they are not Catholic. Stephen's uncle, who had sung at each of Stephen’s sibling’s weddings, did the music.

We had decided early on that we would have a moment to thank the Virgin Mary during the Mass. I realized right before that I didn't have the flowers to offer her! Stephen, being the nice man he is, didn't want to go over there empty-handed. He squatted down and grabbed the large pot of flowers that were by the altar! Everyone got a little laugh out of that! He thankfully put them back down and we saw that the flowers were already there by Our Lady. I don't think anyone will ever forget that moment.

We wanted to start a tradition at our wedding. Stephen received a sword from his commissioning for being the top of his class, and we cut our cake with that sword. We hope to pass it down to our children.

It is also a family tradition that "Rain King" by the Counting Crows is played at weddings. I think you have to know all the words before becoming a part of Stephen’s family!

God always has a plan. When we started planning our wedding and Stephen’s report date changed, it really took us for a spin. But God provided for us with a church, venue, and priest. The day that I had to move out of my studio apartment was the day before our wedding--that's providence right there!

Early on, we struggled so much with being different faiths and spent so much time concentrating on the negatives. Little did I know that God brought us together to make us better Christians. Without Stephen, I would've never been exposed to Catholicism. I think for him, growing up Catholic was seen as a routine. Through my conversion, he was really brought to the basics and fell deeply in love with his faith all over again.

Photography: Kelli Seeley | Nuptial Mass or Engagement Location: Church of Santa Maria, Orinda, California | Reception: Orinda Country Club | Rings: Exclusive Diamonds by Carter  | Flowers: Clayton Sonset Flowers | Dress: BHLDN | Tux: The Black Tux | Cake: Susie Cakes | Catering: Orinda Country Club | Invitations and table signs: Minted |  Guest Sign In Book: Artifact Uprising

The Sophia Series | Amy

Last month, we invited our longtime married readers to share the experiences that have marked, refined, and anointed their marriages; months and years that, by grace, transform the mundane, the bitter, and the incomprehensible into the fruits of holy wisdom. A purification and a clear vision for the path to heaven that lies ahead. The Sophia Series.

It's our honor to début this series, one we hope will illuminate the realities, crosses, and joys of this married vocation for newer brides, with Amy Thomas's testimony. Married since 2001 and the founder of Catholic Pilgrim, an initiative inviting the faithful deeper into the great adventure that is life with Christ, Amy's journey to the Catholic faith has become an anchor through grief and witnesses powerfully to the life-giving love of the Lord.

Purest Light Photography

I met my husband Dustin my junior year of college. It was my first day of Air Force ROTC. When I walked in I saw him sitting across the room, every fiber of my being cried out that he was the one. He felt like home to me. In a weird but beautiful way, it was like I already knew him. I was actually engaged to another man at the time, but I knew it would never work out with him, so I broke it off. Dustin and I were friends first, both secretly interested in the other but unable to say it out loud.

We finally got together after I announced my affection for him on my 21st birthday. I may or may not have had the help of a margarita. Once we realized the mutual feelings we had for each other, we just were. We never had an official first date or anything. Because we had been friends first, we knew each other and didn't need to get to know one another. Being in a relationship with Dustin was the most natural thing in the world for me.

At the start, neither Dustin or I were practicing our faith. He is Catholic and at the time, I was Protestant, but our faith lives were stagnant at best.

We decided to live together before marriage and, consequently, I got pregnant out of wedlock.

I could write an entire blog on why it's so important to wait to live together. Thankfully, we knew beforehand that we wanted to be married, and Dustin was always very committed to me throughout my pregnancy. We are an anomaly and don't recommend this strategy to anyone. We see now the beauty of what the Church teaches.

In June of 2001 we welcomed our beautiful daughter, Rhianna. Two months later, we were married. We were young--only 22--but very much in love.

We had the struggles any newlywed couple has, but along with the added struggles of being new parents right off the bat. We really grew up in those early years of our marriage, because we never had a chance to just focus on each other.

We had a baby girl with us from the get-go, and in many, many ways, I'm thankful to God for that blessing. Our daughter really did--and still does--bring out the best in us.

We had a second daughter, Sydney, in 2005. She came early and her birth is a crazy, whirlwind story, but today she's a happy, healthy teenager. After Sydney's birth, though, my husband and I slipped into a period of selfishness. It wasn't blatant or anything, but looking back I can see it clearly.

We weren't really going to church, because we couldn't decide on which church to go to. We fought frequently about my being Protestant and my husband being Catholic. We also were not open to life. I was using contraception from the start of our marriage, but I eventually stopped because it was literally killing me. I experienced severe health problems because of the Pill. I stopped taking birth control, but we weren't knowledgeable about NFP at all.

About this time, I started seriously discerning converting to the Catholic Church.

I threw a lot of lame arguments and misconceptions at my husband about the Church during our early years and he always had an answer that shattered my previous understanding. I finally saw the beauty and truth of the Catholic faith, and in 2009, I entered the Church. It truly has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.

At this same time, I became pregnant. It is terribly sad for me to say, but I wasn't happy about it. I had become very selfish and since my kids were getting older, I enjoyed a lot of "me" time. I didn't want to hassle with diaper bags, nursing, and car seats again. It pains me to say that I was not being the best version of myself. I wasn't being a good mother either, because I was so focused on myself. Eventually, I warmed to the life growing inside me and became excited to welcome this new little soul. Sadly, however, we lost that baby to miscarriage. It was crushing.

For the next four years, we experienced eight miscarriages. Each one was like a slash through my heart. No doctor would test me, and we had no clue as to why I was losing so many babies. My husband and I were utterly devastated. It got to the point, for me, that when I would get pregnant, I would fall into despair, knowing where it would lead.

I was very angry with God and couldn’t understand why He would put us through such suffering.

After my husband came back from a deployment in 2012, we talked about whether we wanted to try again for a baby. We both knew if we tried, we needed to approach it differently--we needed to bring God into the decision and pray.

So, in 2013, we tried again. This time when I took the test and saw two pink lines, I smiled. I ran to my husband and we hugged. It was a good feeling. We soon welcomed our son, Jeremiah.

My husband and I both know Mary was a great intercessor for us. We've experienced two miscarriages after Jeremiah, so we have 10 saints in heaven. I look forward to meeting them someday, and I know they keep a careful watch on their momma. I love them dearly; even though I have never met them, they have blessed me in ways I could never have imagined.

Each one of these children helped strip selfishness from my soul.

They help me to be a better mom to my earthly kids and for that, I am grateful.

This experience was definitely a trial in our marriage, but I think Dustin and I both learned our suffering can purge us of weaknesses and bad behaviors and attitudes. We know now to always bring God into our pain.

In fact, we know that you just don't do married life well without him. In our 16 years of marriage we've dealt with 10 miscarriages, a suicide by a family member, the divorce of my parents, and other crosses along the way. Dustin is my partner, and he is who I want holding my hand through the trials of this life. I want to be there for him, too.

My sister-in-law once told me that marriage is about learning to love well. I think that's true. If we commit ourselves to our spouse and strive to love him well, no matter what life throws at us we can weather it together and come out even better on the other side of the storm.

Amy's words of wisdom for brides:

Always actively look for ways you can grow and become a better wife. So often we focus on what our spouse needs to fix about himself that we never look at what we need to change.

Date your spouse. When kids come, you have to get creative, but it can be done. You and your husband need time to connect and enjoy each other without focusing on babies, bills, and burdens.

With men, just ask them. We ladies often want men to do things how we would do things. We want them to see the mess or anticipate what needs to be done. Most men just don't operate that way, yet most will be quick to help if you simply ask nicely.

No matter where you've been and where you are in your vocation, know of our prayers for you and your marriage. Feeling called to share your own story? Submit your Sophia Series testimony here.

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About the author: Amy Thomas hails from the great state of Kansas, though she's lived the last 15 years away from the “Land of Oz” traveling the country with with her Air Force Airman. She graduated from Kansas State University in 2001 and married her love, Dustin, that same year. She has three amazing kiddos–two daughters and a son. Amy runs the website Catholic Pilgrim and loves to write about the incredible journey of living a genuine, authentic Catholic life. 

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How I Chose My Wedding Gown + A Prayer for Dress Shopping

EMILY RICCI

A few months after my husband and I started dating, I asked him what had made him fall in love with me. After all, we’d been friends for over a year beforehand. His response shocked me.

“Your modesty,” he replied almost instantly. “While every other girl at our school is trying to show everything off, you are always modest, and that’s what made me first look at you.”

When I use the term modesty, I mean it as extending chastity--sexual integration for the sake of freedom--to love of neighbor: guarding others from lust while communicating self-respect. This doesn’t mean I can stop others from having impure thoughts or that it is my fault if they still do, but simply that I want to do my best in assisting others with that struggle. Modesty, for me, means evaluating the motives behind my outfits, examining whether I am wearing something to draw notice or attention to just my body, rather than to the fullness of who I am.

I knew I wanted to find a wedding dress that reflected these values. I wanted my dress to show off not my skin, but my love for my husband. A love that had caused me to leave some parts of myself covered prior to marriage. I didn’t view modesty as a milestone that I had reached and could now discard as I walked down the aisle, but as a lifestyle I wanted to continue embracing even after marriage.

Yet wedding dress shopping can be disheartening for brides who desire to convey their femininity in a non-revealing way. Add to that the fact that I wanted to completely cover my shoulders and shoulder blades due to significant scarring from teenage acne, and I knew shopping would be a challenge.

Despite this foreknowledge, I found the only time I got giddy was whenever I would step into David’s Bridal, my store of choice due to proximity and price range. I’m not sure why, but the bright atmosphere, cheery attendants, and racks of sparkling gowns would make me feel, for a few moments, the true excitement for my wedding day that I often buried under layers of anxiety. Even the fresh, flowery smell of the store would make my heart race in fairy-tale glee.

The day of my first dress appointment brought a healthy dose of concern. I had, of course, spent hours on the internet putting together images of ideal dresses before ever entering the store, but they were all iterations of the same dress I’d had in my mind since I was young: a pure white, A-line gown with lace cap sleeves. The one website lacking a dress like that was that for David’s. However, I assumed they’d have others in the shop.

They didn’t.

The bubbly attendant assigned to me greeted us at the door and asked to see some pictures for inspiration. As I showed her each one, her face fell. “I don’t think we really have anything like that,” she admitted. Still, she told me she would see what she had. I fought back tears of frustration.

“Just try on this strapless dress,” my attendant insisted, but I refused. What had she not understood about my needs? “What if we added sleeves?” she asked, probably desperate to get me into any dress at that point.

My heart beat a little faster. I’d never even considered alterations like sleeves, panels, or layers. “I…didn’t know that was an option,” I replied. In response, she opened a tissue-papered package with a pair of lace cap sleeves, just like I’d originally envisioned.

As I stepped out into the wall of mirrors wearing that first dress, the lace sleeves balancing precariously on my shoulders, I blinked in surprise. I realized I was standing in the very dress I’d always pictured. This was it. This was the dress, except instead of a model, it was me in the dress, and it looked even better than I’d imagined.

At that point, there was no need for me to keep trying on dresses, but I slipped on two more anyway. As my mom stepped away to look at jewelry, I stood alone before the mirror, fighting back tears. Like so many other things that I knew God had brought to me in the past (including my groom-to-be), this dress just felt inexplicably right. Like they say, when you know, you know.

As someone who has always had poor body image, I was shocked to feel so radiant.

By the world’s standards, my dress may have been boring or plain. But for me, it allowed me to exemplify who I am as a woman, and who I want to be as a wife.

My “simple” gown, like any modest, feminine choice would,  invited our guests to focus not on my body, but on the love in my eyes and the joy in my heart.

In a small way, it allowed me to witness to Christ, and make him--not me--the center of our celebration.

As someone who’s been there, I’d advise brides feeling anxious about dress choices to remember Romans 12:2: “Do not allow this world to mold you into its own image.” Reality shows  and bridal magazines do not define what a beautiful bride looks like.

Whether you’re worried about size, modesty, cost, or something else, don’t feel you have to settle for the world’s standards. Instead, let the joy of your love for your spouse, and for Christ, be your choice garment on your wedding day.

I wish I’d said a prayer that day before going shopping, because I bet the experience would have been far less stressful. Looking back, this is what I would have prayed:

Prayer before wedding dress shopping

Lord, as I go to try on wedding dresses today, I pray this is a joyful time, and I offer you the anxiety I may feel.

Help me to experience joy in this process, and find a dress that will make me feel beautiful inside and out.

Thank you for my groom, who values my heart over my body. Help me to remember he will find me radiant no matter what I wear and that my smile is all he needs to be happy.

Guide me to the dress that will mark our new beginning, that will exhibit my love and joy in this vocation and make me feel like Your beautiful, beloved daughter. Allow my dress to glorify You, oh Lord, and praise you for the gifts you’ve given me.

If I am worried about my looks, help me see past my self-perceived flaws, to see me as you see me, and remind me that my true beauty lies not in the standards of this world, not in the clothes I wear on the outside, but in the way I live my life, and in the joy I exhibit in your Presence and in the presence of my beloved.

Amen.

Images by Newman Photos, from the author's wedding.

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About the Author: Emily Ricci is a Spoken Bride vendor and the owner of Gloriam Marketing, a Catholic marketing, consulting, and event planning firm that designs programs and custom inserts for Catholic weddings. She married her college sweetheart and best friend on June 16, 2017 and has a passion for Christ, marketing, and the Oxford comma (in that order).

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Behold, You Are Beautiful.

JENNY JAMES

This piece is the second in a two-part series on fitness and self-image. Jenny James and her neighbor, Emily Kelch, are the founders of SoulStrength Sisters, a women's fitness ministry that prioritizes community, feminine strength, and the wholeness of who women are created to be. Read Emily's reflection here.

Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. O my dove, in the clefts of the rock in the crannies of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. - Song of Songs 2:13-14

Photography: Anne Molnar Photography, seen in Katherine + Dominic's Fourth of July wedding

How did I know my husband was the one? He was deeply interested in me--not in a falsely flattering way, but in a way that was drawing out the good in me. He sought me where I didn’t know that I was: curled up in a ball, in a cleft of a cliff, walling off the best parts of me in order to protect my heart.

Under his gaze, I opened like a bud in spring. Tentatively at first, but in the warmth of his love, I blossomed into the real me. Over the past eight  years, he has loved me as I’ve struggled with body image and doubts about my worth. No matter how many times my husband affirmed, “You look great! You’re beautiful!” I didn’t believe him.  

God loves beauty. He created beauty. He is beautiful.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful, healthy and strong. Our bodies are his temple, and he wants us to take care of them in the best way we can.

What is wrong is putting my worth into a distorted view of what I think beauty should look like in me. What is wrong is wanting to change the temple he gave me into something it is not, or into someone who I am not.

Slowly, with much prayer and effort, the Lord has given me the wisdom and discipline to eat healthier and become more consistent in my workouts. He’s even graced me with a love for weight training. But the bigger lesson is still being drawn out of me.

As my Savior calls to me, “arise my love, my beautiful one, let me see your face,” He beckons me away from my walled-off hole in the cliff where I self-analyze, tear down and obsess. He wants to see my face just the way I am.

If I turn my gaze to him, I will stop thinking so much about me, me, me.

I still have a long way to go. There are times--like tonight--when it’s that time of the month, I’ve had one too many dark chocolate pieces, and I hide myself from my husband while changing clothes before bed. What is this? I’ve crawled back behind my walls, hiding in that most miserable kind of pride: the pride of sensitivity that masks itself as humility.  

I can’t force these thoughts and feelings to go away. Through prayer, though, the Lord is changing me. He reminds me of my worth as his beloved. And gently, most gently, he takes my face in his hands, turning my thoughts away from me and towards him and others whom he wants me to love.  

If you haven’t read Song of Songs in awhile, go back and revisit it. Imagine you are the bride and Jesus the bridegroom. Then hear, a thousand times over, Jesus saying to you: Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful.

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About the Author: Daughter of the King, wife to the strongest, most loyal man, mama to three blossoming littles, Jenny left a "real" job at a solid company after (finally) recognizing God calling her to be wife and mother first. After struggling for years with fluctuating weight, Jenny found stability and consistency in weight training. When her dear friend Emily asked her to start a fitness coaching business with her, she jumped at the chance to teach other women about the beauty and success of weight training.  Along with Emily, Jenny is the co-creator of SoulStrength Sisters.

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How to Create + Give a Spiritual Bouquet

ANDI COMPTON

On the morning of our wedding, my Maid of Honor presented me with a bouquet of daisies. Tied to the flowers were sweet cards written with prayers and sacrifices our bridal party and friends had been offering for my husband and I as as we prepared for our wedding day. I was absolutely floored by this wonderful, thoughtful gift; a spiritual bouquet. It was incredible to see all the ways our loved ones were bringing us to the Lord. A reminder of how we are all part of the body of Christ, praying and sacrificing for one another always.

There is no right or wrong way to create a spiritual bouquet, a lovely way of gathering prayers either from yourself or a group, for anyone who could use some spiritual encouragement. Essentially, it is a gift of prayer--like a bouquet, a collection of beautiful offerings intended to bear fruit, goodness, and beauty in the life of the recipient--that can be presented in a creative, tangible way to commemorate a significant event.

If you’re a bridesmaid looking to intercede for a bride, or a bride hoping to infuse your gifts for parents and wedding party members with a spiritual dimension, here are ideas to inspire you.

Binder of prayers

This works well when you’ve got a large amount of people--even groups of several hundred--contributing, or when flowers simply wouldn’t be practical or affordable. Use the free printable we’ve created below to distribute the cards. Have participants to fill in with prayers and sacrifices, then collect them and use plastic trading card sleeves to put them in a binder.

Embroidered flowers or a floral painting

For flowers that last forever, considering ordering or creating your own work of art. Hyssop and Honey turns your prayers into flowers for a lasting keepsake. If you're feeling artistic, try painting or crafting your bouquet as you pray.

Greeting cards

Something as simple as sending a loved one a card like this one, citing prayers you’ve offered for them, is a great way to show your love and encouragement.

Download our Spiritual Bouquet printable below:

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About the Author: Andi Compton is Spoken Bride's Business Director. She is the owner of Now That's a Party where she coordinates weddings, fundraising galas, and social events. Read more

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Amanda + Craig | Indianapolis Ballroom Wedding

The first day of the school year at Indiana University Purdue, Amanda--a brand-new freshman--and her roommate prepared to attend a speaker on campus, with her roommate’s high school friend and fellow student, Craig, along. Craig recalls the afternoon fondly, yet Amanda’s most vivid memory is that Craig made them late for the ice cream social that followed the event.

Amanda and Craig continued spending time together with mutual friends that semester, and spent much one-on-one time on unofficial dates. That spring, while swimming laps in the campus pool, Craig asked Amanda out.

Throughout their college years, Amanda and Craig’s faith grew, and strengthened their relationship in turn, through the Catholic Student Organization, Bible studies, and FOCUS discipleship at the university. They began weekly holy hours before the blessed sacrament in their beloved campus chapel, Saint John the Evangelist, where their discernment of marriage flourished in silence and where it became evident to Craig he would one day propose.

With the knowledge that he and Amanda desired to model their relationship after the Holy Family, Craig purchased a Miraculous Medal for Amanda and a Saint Joseph medal for himself. And an engagement ring.

Not long after asking their campus chaplain to bless these items, Amanda and Craig knelt before Our Lady during Adoration at Saint John’s. This time, unlike their many other hours in the chapel, Craig got down on one knee. After Amanda’s yes, they placed the medals around one another’s necks and lit two votive offerings, one at the feet of Mary and the other at the statue of Saint Joseph.

From the Bride: How special and beautiful that a little over a year later, we were united in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony in that same sacred place. And just as we spent the first moments of our engagement kneeling before the statues of Mary and Joseph, we spent the first moments of our marriage before those same statues, praying for our marriage as we placed flower offerings during our wedding Mass.

It was during the rehearsal the night before that everything hit me: I stood on the altar next to my husband-to-be and looked out over our closest family and friends gathered in the church. I felt so incredibly and deeply loved. Hardly any of my family had seen the church before. Saint John’s and its pastor, Fr. Rick, hold a dear place in our hearts; it filled me with joy to share them with my loved ones.

After the rehearsal Fr. Rick gave us time for the sacrament of reconciliation. Craig and I wanted to be completely clean and free for our wedding day. Receiving absolution from the priest who had meant so much to us through the years was perfect. Many of our family members also chose to go to confession, which filled our hearts with such joy. Our wedding was bringing those we love closer to our shared faith. Craig and I prayed in the parking lot before parting ways, our last prayer together before becoming husband and wife.

The morning of the wedding was a whirlwind, but I remained surprisingly calm. I knew without a doubt that this was God’s plan for my life, and I had no second thoughts. Before the ceremony, Craig and I had a first look, which was one of my favorite moments. Instead of seeing each other, we stood back-to-back at a door in the church and held hands. I got emotional and couldn’t stop the tears running down my face. I was absolutely certain this was what God wanted for us. As I started to pull away, Craig wouldn’t let go of my hand. This completely tugged at my heart.

I also did a first look with my dad. When he saw me for the first time he teared up. My dad is not usually very emotional, and it was so touching that he cried. During the father-daughter dance at the reception, my dad got emotional again, and it was so sweet! He pulled me in closer, trying to control his emotions. These moments with my dad on the wedding day meant a lot to me.

Minutes before the ceremony, my sister led the bridesmaids in a prayer for Craig and I and our new marriage. Then they processed up the aisle, and I was left alone with my dad. The back doors of the church were flung open, and I looked down the long aisle at my husband-to-be.

It’s such a long aisle, I could hardly tell Craig was crying. I walked down the aisle in the beautiful church that was home to us, seeing my husband-to-be in tears. I heard my dad sniffling beside me, saw Fr Rick and all my family and friends. I was wearing my mother’s veil, clutching the bouquet I’d made with my sister, mom, aunts, and grandma, feeling the antique rosary beads, a gift from my godmother, entwined in the flowers, and wiping my tears with a handkerchief embroidered with lace from my mom’s wedding dress.

I was completely, utterly surrounded by love. It was the most amazing feeling, knowing I was about to be united sacramentally with my husband, surrounded by a host of saints and angels.

From the Groom: Amanda and I had meticulously planned the liturgy for our wedding ceremony. Our first reading was Tobit 8:4b-8, where Tobiah and Sarah pray fervently to God on their wedding night, praising him and asking for his blessing. This reading spoke to us, as it exemplified a marriage built on prayer. First John 4:7-12 was our second reading: “...if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.” Our gospel reading, John 2:1-11, was the wedding feast at Cana. Amanda has always loved this reading, as it was Jesus’ first miracle, and we find it extremely meaningful that Jesus listened to his mother to perform it. With these readings, Amanda and I desire to pray to God before all things, to exemplify God’s love with our marriage, and to listen to Mary.

One of my favorite parts of the Mass was Communion. Amanda and I had been Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion at Saint John’s for a few years, and during our wedding prep Fr. Rick encouraged us to consider if we wanted to be ministers of communion during our wedding Mass. We prayed about it, and felt absolutely that this was what we should do.

So my new wife stood in front of the statue of Mary (where we had gotten engaged) and gave Jesus’ blood to her family and friends and I stood in front of the statue of Joseph to do the same for my family and friends, while the song “Let Me be Your Servant” played. We wanted this part of the Mass to convey we are called to always serve others, to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and to always point our lives to the Lord.    

Amanda: I was nothing but smiles the entire reception. Our first dance, “When I Say I Do” by Matthew West, was so special, and Craig and I got to show off some of the dance moves we had learned together in college. All of the flowers, décor, and centerpieces were handmade by the women in my family, including a frame my sister made, “I have found the one whom my soul loves,” from the Song of Songs. We cut our cake using the utensils my grandparents used at their wedding over 60 years ago. Instead of everyone dancing when the DJ called the last song of the night, our friends and family circled around Craig and me, beaming, as we danced.

Thinking back on our wedding day, we felt an immense power of overwhelming love the entire day. Family and friends traveled from afar to celebrate with us, and we felt blessed beyond belief. Our favorite gift was from Fr. Rick: a container of the holy water used during our wedding Mass, and we bless each other with it after our favorite prayer--Night Prayer. It fills our hearts with such peace and contentment to sing the last canticle together: “Protect us, Lord, as we lay awake; watch over us as we sleep, that awake, we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep, rest in his peace.” Our wedding was a beautiful day full of love, and we are abundantly, richly blessed.

From the Photographer: Amanda and Craig's first look was one of the most special I have ever witnessed. As we walked up to it, I prayed with Amanda--one of the most precious moments I can have with a bride on her wedding day. Instead of actually looking at one another, when they reached each other, they held hands.

She cried. He beamed. They looked off in the distance, and I could tell that not only were they ready, but the Lord was ready for them to be married. It’s like they had been waiting for each other their whole lives long, and finally, today was the day they were uniting. This shows in their photos, too, because both of them were all smiles throughout the whole day!

Photography: Souls Creation Photography | Church: Saint John the Evangelist Catholic Church, http://www.stjohnsindy.org/ | Reception: Grafton Peek Ballroom, http://www.graftonpeek.com/venues/grafton-peek-ballroom/ | Coordinator: Brittany Scher | Cake: Grafton Peek Catering, http://www.graftonpeek.com/ | DJ: David Malone | Rings: Distinctive Diamonds, https://diamondsdirect.com/indianapolis | Dress: Marie Gabriel Couture, https://mariegabrielcouture.com/ | Jewelry: Hair Piece from Amazon (https://www.amazon.com), Earrings from Versona (https://www.shopversona.com/) | Shoes: Amazon, https://www.amazon.com | Menswear: Joseph A. Bank, http://www.josbank.com/ | Bridesmaid Dresses: Alfred Angelo purchased at Siebert’s, http://www.siebertsclothing.com/

Cultivating Gratitude for Your Body

EMILY KELCH

This piece is the first in a two-part series on fitness and self-image. Emily Kelch and her neighbor, Jenny James, are the founders of SoulStrength Sisters, a women's fitness ministry that prioritizes community, feminine strength, and the wholeness of who women are created to be. Read Jenny's reflection next week.

Navigating the waters of fitness as a Catholic woman can be a treacherous journey. Nurturing our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit is a just and worthy pursuit. But women, in particular, face a tension that exists between being fully alive--mind, body, and soul--and being a slave to sloth or exercise: the mirror or the magazines? The chocolate or the comparison?

I was immune to this tension in high school and college as I immersed myself in sports. But when I began preparing for my wedding day, I was bombarded with eating plans and bridal boot camps designed to help me achieve the coveted toned arms, sculpted six pack, and perky glutes of glowing, gowned models in magazines. I'm sorry to say I resorted to the not-so-healthy habits of under-eating and hours on the treadmill.

Ten years later, I am still bombarded with images of the ideal, but this time in the form of 4-week postpartum, bikini-clad celebrities, fitness models preaching the perfect exercise for my body, and articles claiming they know the secrets to gain "only belly weight during pregnancy." Sisters, it doesn't stop after your wedding day, but I wish I would have been able to tell my bride-self these five pieces of wisdom to help foster gratitude for the temple.

Own your Beauty.  

Just as we are given spiritual gifts to nurture and grow, we are also given physical gifts--and we shouldn't be ashamed! If we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we must walk, run, and lift with poise and dignity despite knowledge of our flaws. No, you may not be able to pull off that lipstick your girlfriend dons or wear your sister's skinny jeans, but those curly locks? That dimpled smile? They are gifts, so rock your own unique, unequivocal beauty.

Move with Joy.

I love deadlifting heavy weights. My dear sister is a natural yogi, while my best friend finds peace in the quiet monotony of a morning swim. Find something you love so "working out" isn't actual work.

Change with the Season.  

Seasons of life prune us as we go: a new job's schedule may conflict with your favorite barre class; the little life growing within you will prevent your all-time-squat PR; liturgical seasons like Lent force you to assess attachments to vice and sin. The seemingly small changes in our lives are opportunities for grace and are built-in mortifications. Accept them as gifts, and adjust realistically.

Find Community.

We live in constant temptation to compare, so find a tribe that speaks to your heart, challenges you physically, and encourages you spiritually.

Be grounded in prayer.

When I am meeting the Lord in prayer every day, I am reminded that my worth isn't in the absence of a thigh gap, impeccable meal planning, or a perfectly planned workout schedule. My worth is found as a daughter of God. When we are grounded in prayer, fitness is less likely to become an idol and more likely to be viewed as a tool to grow in temperance, self control, and obedience.

Through ten years of marriage, five babies, multiple failures and “beginning agains,” I've found that to be the best gift I can give my husband and children, I must aim to be my best self--body and soul. I still stumble at times (many times!), but I always come back to these points to help refresh my perspective.  

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About the Author: Smitten wife, mama of five, homeschooler and nurse (on the very, very side), Emily is a recovering people-pleaser whose favorite things include deadlifts, feminine dresses, St. Therese, and 90s music playlists. While she thoroughly enjoys hosting dance parties and serving British delicacies with her very sanguine husband, she is happiest in the company of life-giving friends, deep conversations, and drinking in the beauty of quiet, prayerful mornings, and fresh--not yet reheated--coffee.

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Holy Week Traditions for Couples

Creating your own traditions as a couple with each new liturgical season is a great blessing of growing a shared life in Christ. As the Lenten season draws to a close and we prepare to enter the most solemn, silent week of the year, consider adding spiritual and sensory reminders to your routine that invite deeper contemplation of Christ’s Passion and death and encourage a sense of ritual and closeness between you, your beloved, and your loved ones.

Here, our suggestions for a meaningful Holy Week and Easter Triduum.

Photography: Kelly Ginn Photography, seen in Sally + Matthew's engagement

Throughout Holy Week

Pray together as you designate a spot in your home for palms.

If you haven’t already done so on the fifth Sunday of Lent, take time this week to cover any crucifixes, religious art, or statues in your home. Broadcloth, in purple or another somber color, is an affordable option from fabric stores. Like any bride, the Church veils what is good and beautiful for the purpose of reserving that beauty for the proper occasion--in this case, the fullness of life made new on Easter Sunday.

Choose one of the Gospels, and read a portion of it each night.

Employ an extra penance you and your fiancé or spouse can both take part in this week, such as no meat, no TV or media, or a fast from unnecessary spending.

Plan to attend a Tenebrae service in your diocese.

Holy Thursday

Attend your dicoese’s Chrism Mass, wherein the holy oils used in the sacraments throughout the year are blessed by a bishop. This Mass reminds the faithful of Christ’s great gifts to us of the sacraments, and its beautiful cathedral setting invites reverence and worship.

Pray a Holy Hour together after the Mass of the Lord’s Supper, before the Blessed Sacrament if your church offers it. If time and geography allow, consider partaking in the tradition of the Seven Churches Visitation, essentially a pilgrimage of Eucharistic Adoration in various locations.

Good Friday

Starting today, begin the Divine Mercy novena.

Following Stations of the Cross and the Good Friday service, cook a simple dinner together.

Spend a portion of the day together in silence.

Holy Saturday

If your family makes a big Easter feast, consider assisting with cooking and preparations. Get to know your beloved’s family stories and recipes.

Pray for your marriage--or future marriage--in a particular way. Holy Saturday speaks to so many instances of waiting, from the anticipation of your wedding day to a longing for answered prayers in work and family-related matters.

For all of this coming week, in fact, enter into the waiting, this sense of bated breath. Allow yourselves to sit with your longings. Entrust them to the Lord, knowing he desires nothing hidden from us, that he loves just as we are in our brokenness, and that he rejoices in our vulnerability. His love restores. Know of our prayers for you as we prepare for the joy of the Resurrection, and don’t hesitate to contact us with specific intentions we can share with you and unite to the Cross.

Longtime Married Readers, We Want to Hear from You! Introducing The Sophia Series.

Sophia is the Greek word for “wisdom.” With marriage comes an unveiling: emotional, physical, spiritual. The raw of who we are. And in that vulnerability, we are given the grace of a holy wisdom, born of experience and time. We invite you to share yours.

Sisterhood, community, and honest dialogue have become cornerstones of the Spoken Bride community, with all thanks to the Father and to your authenticity and sincerity. In that spirit of honesty, we know that behind every picture-perfect wedding photo is an imperfect bride and groom, striving always to live out free, faithful, fruitful, and total love. The Sophia Series will feature testimonies from longtime married women (five years or more) who have endured the fire of purification in their married life and emerged transcendent.

Maybe your purification has involved conversion to the Catholic faith, infertility, loss, addiction, or illness. Maybe your relationship has been tested by your own weaknesses or by others’ involvement. Here is a place for giving voice to the redemption of these trials. Our goal is that this series feels like sitting down with a friend, sharing in truthful, humble conversation and ultimately affirming the reality and goodness of Catholic marriage.

There is no Resurrection without the Crucifixion. The path to heaven comes only by way of Calvary. Yet there is never a doubt that suffering has meaning and purpose; that the Father never leaves our side and that through every cross, grace abounds. We hope you’ll trust us with your experiences and we pray your witness bears fruit for other brides--women who, like you, are on a lifetime pilgrimage in this vocation of marriage.

Feeling called to share your story of triumph from hardship? Submit your Sophia Series submission below.

Submissions are continually accepted and considered.

Lent, From Victim to Hero

SARAH SABO

I sit, next to a tax document I was almost too lazy to search for and print out--in a business center of my apartment. It is quiet, and the task utilitarian enough, to make me ponder the big questions. That’s what quirky people like me do when confronted with drab walls, clacking keys, and low toner beeps. They try to think deep thoughts.

Sadly, I haven’t whipped up a beautiful poem from these deep thoughts, but I have had a recent epiphany about my marriage,and, I daresay, marriage in general.

It is the season of Lent and my life reflects that  right now. With so much in my life to feel thankful for, I feel insecure about voicing my struggles, fearing that I present myself to the world as whining wimp with a bunch of first world problems. I struggled with what to give up for Lent this year. I do love me some chocolate, but honestly, I have pretty good willpower and after having my third baby, some extra weight loss wouldn’t exactly be penance.

Eventually I decided to give up my victim tendencies--that is, my habit of feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in hopelessness when circumstances don’t go according to my ideal--for these 40 days. It has been the most liberating thing I could have done for myself and my marriage; it has truly brought me closer to God.

Let me set the scene: a frazzled mother of three waits on pins and needles for her knight in shining armor to get home. Normally, I most anticipate seeing my husband at the end of the day because I need the help. I need more hands! Someone hit someone. What the heck is in the baby’s mouth? The kids ate their vegetable and protein, but I forgot to make a starch. I really should read them a book.

The inner mistakes and guilt trips prevail, putting me in such a state of confusion, irritation, and desperation that I decide to jump down my husband’s throat when he arrives  home twenty minutes later than he planned. My reaction of the cold shoulder and wounded heroine routine feels both obvious and justified as I imagine him out doing things like enjoying a novel and latte at a ski lodge. Oh, wait a second. I recall that in reality, he spends his days busting his butt at work and finishing up his dissertation, all the while being a present and loving husband and father.

So I decided for Lent, I’d slay that tiny, whining, victimized dragon--the scaly, ugly monster who whispers, He just doesn’t care. I bet he was late because he was yukking it up with his coworkers. Does he even know how many disasters have happened today? To my surprise, silencing these thoughts has been easier than I anticipated.

 Simply knowing and believing that the man I married is trying his best, and holding myself accountable to do the same, has freed me from tendencies to blame and wallow. If you’ve ever felt the same mentality as mine creeping in, strive to stop worrying about what is fair and what he should do for you because you already did x and y for him. Give like there isn’t a bottom of the barrel. Love like a hero who doesn’t need rescuing!

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About the Author: Sarah Sliviak Sabo is a mother of three beautiful girls pretending her tiny, overpriced apartment is a log cabin. Most of the time it works. She is the owner of Be Not Afraid Learning LLC, a tutoring business.

Genevieve + Dalton | Holiday Rock 'n' Bowl Wedding

Genevieve and Dalton met through mutual friends, in a van on a group trip to Disney World. After a bathroom break, the group members chose new seats. A copy of C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce sat on Gen’s new seat and she asked who it belonged to. “This is a great book,” she said.

Dalton’s deep voice answered form the front: “Mine.”

From the Bride: I knew right then that I was in trouble.

Dalton and I were the only two on the trip who drank coffee in the morning. Each day, we walked to the food court alone before going out to the parks with everyone else. One morning, after making small talk while pouring the coffee, I looked at him and impulsively said, “You’re a good human being.” It was a very out-of-character move for my normally introverted self. He looked surprised and embarrassed. I just made this awkward, I thought to myself.

Things were indeed awkward for a while. We got home from the trip and began communicating in typical millennial fashion: over text and Facebook. Our first date was to see a production of The Screwtape Letters.

I learned over time that Dalton was indeed a good human being, perhaps the best I had ever met. He was kind and thoughtful. I never had to wonder if he liked me, or if I might do something to make him suddenly lose interest in me. From the beginning, he made it clear that he dated with the intention of finding someone to marry. I found his openness to be highly attractive, very masculine, and utterly refreshing. We started dating on March 19th, St. Joseph’s feast day. Dalton proposed on my birthday at St. Joseph’s Church, the place we would be married about one year later.

From the Groom: For me, I think it was the Boba Fett headphones Gen was wearing on the way to Disney World that had me smitten when we first met. There's a whole canyon between that first feeling and getting engaged, but in the interest of brevity, I'll just say we had lots of coffee dates and stargazing in my red truck, making it the best seven months of my life to that point.

I was so nervous the day I proposed. My brother was helping me orchestrate everything, and he went to the wrong church. St. Joseph really came through for me. I proposed in front of a statue of him, and the basket of petitions at the statue’s feet gave me a great segue into the proposal. All of my nerves quickly went away after she said yes. (continued below)

Videography: Reed Between the Lens Films

Genevieve: At our rehearsal dinner, I looked around at our family and friends laughing, eating, and talking with one another. Jesus' comparison of the kingdom of God with a wedding banquet suddenly became so real to me, and I was overcome with a desire for heaven.

That joy and peace continued into the day of our wedding. I wore my godmother's Juliet cap, which my grandmother had carefully saved. My mom gave me a pair of opal and blue topaz earrings--my birthstone and Dalton's, respectively. After a beautiful morning spent getting ready with most of the closest women in my life, I arrived at St. Joseph's Church and walked down the aisle to "The King of Love," a song which has been special to me in moments of great joy and of great sadness.

I tried to sing, but I got teary. On my arm, I saw that my dad was teary too (which, of course, made me even weepier.) I also didn't know where to look: at the tabernacle or at Dalton? There was just so much love coming from both places.

Our wedding Mass was a small taste of eternity. We chose familiar, simple Mass parts to encourage our guests to sing. The priests and altar servers were all dear to us, including Fr. Brent Maher, who had been with us on that group Disney trip. Surrounded by our family and friends and in front of God, we said our vows and became husband and wife. Receiving the Eucharist at our wedding Mass was a moment I hope to remember forever. We placed flowers in front of the statues of both Mary and St. Joseph, in the same place Dalton proposed.

Our reception flew by. It was a whirl of dancing, toasting, and red roses. We chose to have our reception at Rock N' Bowl, a New Orleans favorite combining a bowling alley with a live music venue, primarily because we knew how fun it would be. But also because Dalton is a great bowler. Our wedding colors were red, navy, and copper in anticipation of the upcoming holiday season.

I was especially happy with a few particular reception details. The first was a vintage cake topper I found online and re-painted to look like us, Juliet cap and all. The second was a selection of our favorite poems and songs, used as table centerpieces. After our wedding, I arranged all of the papers into a large frame which now hangs over our fireplace.

Our "guestbook" was a Christmas tree covered with wooden ornaments that our guests signed. We now place them on our family tree and pray for our guests as we do so. The cake pulls--a Southern tradition--were small lockets shaped like books. Inside each locket was a quotation about marriage, travel, babies, or friendship.

Dalton's groom's cake was a pile of Mr. Ronnie's Famous Hot Donuts, another Louisiana tradition. Several people confessed to me that they ate one before we did the cake cutting, which, in my opinion, was exactly the right thing to don. The toppers for that "cake" were Superman and Belle, our wannabe alter-egos.

The morning after our wedding, Dalton and I went to Mass and then hopped in the car for another road trip to Disney World. This time was better--it was our honeymoon.

Dalton: The day of our wedding...how can I summarize this in a couple of sentences? I didn't sleep the night before. I picked Gen's brother up from her house where she was getting ready, and I just wanted to run in and grab her and get married already.

Ever since our wedding Mass, I feel like I understand the Eucharist just a little bit more. The sacrificial love of Jesus became even more real that day.

At our reception, I just remember standing in the middle of the dance floor, incredibly happy. It was the best day, but they only get better.

Genevieve: Our wedding was the best day of my life. It’s true that the dress, the dancing, the flowers, the music all helped to contribute to the beauty of the day. But what really made it so wonderful was the glimpse of the eternity it provided. Surrounded by loved ones, full of joy, in front of God--it was a foretaste of heaven. Dalton and I are pilgrims on the road that leads there, bound by the vows that we exchanged on our wedding day. And donuts. There were donuts.

Genevieve's sister, Katherine, also had a beautiful New Orleans wedding! See her celebration here.

Photography: Marroquin Photography | Church: St. Joseph's Catholic Church - New Orleans, LA | Wedding Reception: Rock 'n' Bowl | Videographer: Randy Diddly | Liturgical Music: Kathleen Lee, Eric Wilkes and James Rosenbloom | Reception Band: The Boogie Men | Flowers: The Crystal Vase | Cake: Haydel's Bakery | Groom's Cake: Mr. Ronnie's Famous Hot Donuts | Dress: Willowby by Watters | Shoes: Modcloth | Bridesmaid’s Dresses: Weddington Way | Men’s Suits: Tuxedos to Geaux | Handkerchiefs for parents and grandparents: Larkspur and Linen on Etsy | Bridesmaids’ robes: ComfyClothing on Etsy

5 Ways to Incorporate Ethically Made + Eco-Friendly Products into Your Wedding

ERIN MACKEY

Pope Benedict XVI said, “Purchasing is always a moral—and not simply economic—act.” As an newly engaged couple, you and your fiancé have a unique opportunity to many options for including service to others in the material preparations for your wedding and marriage.

Monica Jazmine Photography, from our 1940s-inspired vintage styled shoot

The purchases you make for your wedding and reception reflect your values. From your dress to the flowers, there is a person behind each product. And just like you, they have a story to share. These creators' stories become part of yours. So, consider choosing ethically made, fair trade, vintage and local sources to carry out your commitment to service in your celebration.

Here, five ways to incorporate ethically made and eco-friendly products into your wedding and reception:

Jewelry: vintage, fair trade and conflict free

Vintage rings are great for those who love stories from the past. When you buy a vintage ring—or, if you’re lucky—have one handed down to you, you preserve past memories and prevent the ring from being tossed out or forgotten. If you prefer a new engagement ring or wedding bands, consider purchasing rings that are certified fair trade and conflict free. Either way, you’ll have peace of mind knowing you’re not unintentionally funding child labor or violent conflict—and you’ll be helping to protect the environment from pollution caused by conventional mining practices.

Wedding gowns: vintage, fair trade, and repurposing 

Like vintage rings, vintage gowns are a great eco-friendly option. You can have fun searching for just the right gown that reflects your style or pays homage to a particular era. I personally love the style of Grace Kelly’s iconic gown and was thrilled to see that Kate Middleton, now the duchess of Cambridge, chose a similar style when she got married.

Fair trade wedding dresses are growing in popularity. Handmade by artisans in developing countries who are paid fair wages, these dresses are crafted in safe conditions that also respect the environment.

After the wedding, it might be hard to imagine parting ways with your beloved gown, so consider these ethical alternatives to preserve it: upcycle your dress into christening gowns, or donate it  to an organization that provides for brides who might not be able to afford a new (or even a used) gown. Which brings me to my last idea: you can sell your dress to a consignment shop to be loved by another bride.  

Bridesmaid dresses: fair trade

We all want our closest friends—our sisters—to feel confident, comfortable and beautiful in their bridesmaid dresses. My friends have always been so thoughtful when choosing dresses, and I’m grateful for the time and energy they put in to choosing a dress that would flatter me and work for my budget. Fair trade bridesmaid dresses are becoming easier to find and, just like fair trade wedding gowns, are handmade by artisans in developing countries who earn fair wages. And their prices are very comparable—and sometimes less—than similar bridesmaid dresses.

Flowers: local, seasonal and fair trade

I’ve always enjoyed seeing seasonal flowers at weddings: sunflowers in late summer, daffodils in early spring, or flowers not native to my Maryland home when I’m attending a wedding out of state. Local farms and florists will let you know which blooms are native to your region and will be available during your wedding month. By choosing native flowers that are in season, you support your local economy.  

Fair trade flowers are another option worth considering. Although they may be shipped from overseas, fair trade flowers can set your arrangements apart. They are produced by workers who earn fair wages, and come from farms that use sustainable practices.

Gifts: fair trade registries and donations

You can include fair trade options on your gift registry, too. From kitchenware to other home essentials, fair trade products add special meaning to gift giving. And if there’s nothing you really need or want, consider giving guests the option of donating to you and your future spouse’s favorite charity, instead. As someone who never knows what to get as a gift, the option for a donation is always welcome, and it gives me a glimpse into my family and friends’ particular hearts for service.

I hope you find these tips helpful as you prepare for your wedding. You truly have an opportunity to be a witness to your guests on your wedding day, and the products you choose to use can be a powerful way of showing your commitment to service and responsibility.

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About the Author: Erin Mackey is a young professional who strives to live out her faith by seeking a simple, sustainable and conscious lifestyle. She loves discovering new ethical companies that are changing the world and believes business can be a force for good. She currently serves on the Ethical Trade team at Catholic Relief Services and in her free time enjoys tea dates, exercise and listening to podcasts. Erin has contributed to The Catholic Woman and appeared on The Catholic Feminist and Leah Darrow's Do Something Beautiful podcasts.

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How to Support Your Fiancé's Growth in Spiritual Leadership

SINIKKA ROHRER

You close your eyes, fold your hands, and let your chin fall, ready to pray for the first time with your beloved leading. You wait for his words to come. With every passing second, you realize you might have just asked him to do something he’s never done out loud before, especially not in front of his fiancé, whom he is desperate to continue to impress until she says I do.

Soul Creations Photography, as seen in Becca + Kyle's Mediterranean-inspired styled shoot

If you have ever felt like you and your fiancé’s prayer lives are on opposite ends of a spectrum, know you’re not alone. Many times in the Catholic faith, we are used to reading pre-written prayers or praying silently along as someone else leads. There are few times we are asked, or encouraged, to lead a prayer without any sort of prompt.

But now that you’re engaged and starting a journey toward the aisle--and heaven--with a partner, there are bound to be more occasions of unscripted, and it may be a first for you. As women, we often desire concrete spiritual leadership, i.e. a man tuned into his loved ones’ spiritual welfare.

For many men, this is something new to grow into during engagement--not as the result of any weakness or deficiency on their part, but simply as a result of this being unfamiliar territory. There’s a new, more serious call to spiritual strength in engagement and marriage than in just friendship or dating. That means that the firsts he will experience will be as your family’s spiritual leader, as he prays around the dining room table or at the beginning of a meal while you are on a double date.

While your fiancé experiences many firsts in his spiritual life during engagement, you will, as well.

In marriage, men and women are each called to lead in different, unique ways.

Invite each other to pray when you’re together, prompt one another with prayer ideas, and ask your love to pray for you in specific needs you have. I also encourage you to pray, both silently and aloud, for your husband-to-be. Use the resources around you to pray for his career, friends, faith, health, and priorities.

Praying in front of one another does not always come naturally. As you become husband and wife, I challenge you to pray daily for your marriage, friends and relatives, and specific needs you personally have. A nightly routine will bring fruit in engagement and set up a firm foundation to cover your marriage, family, and friends in much needed prayer.

When you do finally make your way down the aisle and find yourselves praying before meals, at bible studies, and passing accidents or emergencies while you’re in the car, I challenge you to use both the pre-written prayers of our Church and spontaneous prayers of your heart. Because as you grown in your shared prayer life, and as your husband grows as a spiritual leader, the most powerful place to be is on your knees.

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About the Author: Sinikka Rohrer is a Christian wedding photographer and Spoken Bride vendor on a mission to encourage brides with practical and spiritual encouragement on the way to the aisle. She is a lover of all things healthy, early morning spiritual reads, and anything outdoors.

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When Your Reception is "Just" In the Church Hall

In a culture awash with Pinterest-perfect images, it’s easy to feel inadequate about having a relatively simpler wedding. In a word, don’t.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Soul Creations Photography

Reception venues, in particular, can help convey the desired theme for your day, from a rustic-chic barn to an elegant ballroom. But what if these locations just aren’t in the cards for you?

Couples on a budget frequently turn to parish halls and event spaces for their receptions, and truly, they are as worthy a dwelling for your joy as anywhere. Even without certain amenities, your church hall reception will be beautiful, because at its heart it will reflect the love between you, your new husband, and your shared love for Christ. Consider these ways to embrace your reception situation.

No need to apologize.

Knowing you and your guests might have attended more elaborate wedding venues in the past, you might be tempted to apologize for “just” having a church hall reception. But there’s no need.

As much as guests might appreciate certain glamorous elements, it’s not the glamour they’re attending your wedding for. It’s you. And being there for you on your big day involves enjoying any and all offerings, from food to favors to music, with gratitude. You, your beloved, and your parents are the hosts of your day, and it’s gracious for hosts to embody poise and self-assurance, rather than self-consciousness, in their choices. Your guests will follow your lead and, in all likelihood, will be so happy to share in your day that anything besides your union with your new spouse will be secondary.

In the mid-twentieth century, many city parishes held weekly dances for young adults, as well as meals and shelter for those going without. The hall was a central part of parish life; in holding your reception in one, know that you’re taking part in a long tradition of Catholic culture. Additionally, there are the benefits of little to no travel time between your Mass and reception, allowing for more time for photos and with guests, and of knowing you’re making a financial contribution to the Church.

Cultivate creativity and confidence.

If your hall is simply arranged, consider it a blank slate and, if it's a priority for you, find ways to maximize the setting. Adding in ambient lighting to offset overhead bulbs, renting pretty chair and table covers, and using blank wall areas for décor can all help enhance your space.

What’s more, trust in your wedding vendors to help you maximize your resources. Coordinators, for instance, are familiar with working in a variety of settings. Photographers have trained themselves in using natural and artificial light to its best advantage and to prioritizing tighter, close-up shots when a location calls for it, all to produce beautiful images that capture the spirit of your day.

Remember it’s the experience that will linger.

Wedding photographers frequently say that no matter how well-dressed their clients are for a session, or no matter how beautiful the shooting location, if the clients feel stressed or awkward they won’t look at their final images with fondness. In other words, people generally remember how they felt more than what their surroundings were like. So strive to create a reception atmosphere that’s relaxed and festive, filled with affirmation, warm greetings, and dancing. When you and your guests look back at your wedding images, you’ll remember that palpable sense of joy more vividly than any other aspect.

The weddings we’re honored to share with you in this ministry range from elaborate to simple, with a variety of aesthetics unique to each of our brides and their beloveds. We love getting a glimpse of your hearts and hearing your stories, knowing you share with us a love for the good, true, and beautiful. And we know that you know it’s not about the material trappings of weddings: what shines forth most brightly, what makes a “Spoken Bride wedding,” and what we are here to share above all, is that a love rooted in Christ is the ultimate source of immense beauty in and of itself.

Editors' Picks | Vol. 10: Beauty Favorites

At Spoken Bride, we love a good book, a good meal, a standout statement necklace, a heel you can dance in, and the list goes on. And when we make those discoveries, we want to tell everyone. So every month or two, we're sharing our latest and favorite finds in everything engagement, wedding, and honeymoon-related.

When held in the proper perspective, makeup, hair, skin, and nail products are a fun part of femininity that can enhance, rather than be the source of, your self-worth. Today we’re sharing our favorite beauty products, for both wedding events and for everyday.

Photography: Meaghan Clare Photography, seen in our DIY Bridal Makeup Video

Andi, Business Director

Trader Joe’s Face Mask Trio: Available every holiday season until it’s gone, my favorite mask of this trio is the exfoliating pineapple one.

Buxom Full-On Lip Cream in Mudslide: This is my everyday shade of lip gloss. One tube lasts me almost a full year, and the shade is neutral with just a hint of shimmer.

Bobbi Brown Blush in Nectar: Blush is the one beauty item I use almost every day. It helps break up the tans and browns in my complexion and hair color with a tiny pop of pink, and I find I’m a little perkier when I apply it. This shade works on a variety of skin tones and doesn’t look like a fake shade of pink.

OPI Nail Polish: I tend to go with extremes with nail polish, my current favorite being white for my toes, especially in summer. Come fall and winter, I love navy blue or black. I find OPI has the longest wear, and I don’t have use as many coats for full opacity.

Jiza, Co-Founder + Creative Director

ACURE Organics Brilliantly Brightening Facial Scrub: It’s important to take care of your skin daily, especially as your body undergoes the stress that comes before your wedding day. A good skincare routine not only keeps your skin healthy before the big day, but allows you to get into the everyday habit of simple self-care. Pair a facial scrub with your daily cleanser and moisturizer 2-3 times a week, and it will help deep clean the pores of your skin. I love ACURE’s mission with their plant-based products. Not to mention, this scrub makes me think of the beach every time I use it!

YETI The Rambler 30 oz. Tumbler: A water bottle or tumbler isn’t a “beauty product,” per se. However, keeping your body hydrated is important when it comes to beauty. Bring a reusable vessel with you to work, school, vendor appointments, and marriage prep classes; by drinking at least 6-8 glasses of water a day, you help keep both your hair and skin looking and feeling healthy. I love a good stainless steel tumbler (easy to clean, easy for travel, and hard to damage), and the YETI now comes in pretty colors like pink and seafoam!

Honest Beauty Truly Kissable Lip Crayon: I am picky when it comes to my lip products and the way they feel on my lips. I like a nice color, but I don’t like anything too dry or sticky. I love this lip crayon by Honest Beauty, the new line by Jessica Alba and the Honest Company). Their antioxidant blend of jojoba seed oil, murumuru butter, and shea butter is so moisturizing and soothing on my lips, I wear it almost every day. This demi-matte lip crayons include a range of perfect colors for women going for a soft,  more natural bridal look!

Klorane Dry Shampoo with Oat Milk: For easier styling purposes, a lot of brides won’t wash their hair a day or two before their weddings. If this is your plan, but you don’t want your hair to get too oily or dirty in the meantime, dry shampoo helps keep it clean while also creating good texture and some volume for styling. I absolutely love Klorane’s dry shampoo! With oats organically harvested in southwest France, this dry shampoo gently cleanses my hair without weighing it down in residue.

Stephanie, Editor in Chief + Co-Founder

TruSkin Naturals Vitamin C Serum: After a ferocious battle with cystic acne a few years back (so painful inside and out), I now prioritize skincare in my beauty routine and try to keep my complexion clear enough to go foundation-free. Vitamin C is known for its ability to even skin tone and, when paired with SPF, its benefits of extra protection from sun damage. When researching options, I learned Vitamin C is considered most effective in concentrations of 20% or more; some luxury brands don’t meet that standard, but this no-frills serum does. It’s significantly lightened my old acne scars and noticeably smoothed and brightened my skin. When I do wear foundation, I use the original Bare Minerals formula for how natural it looks and for the fact that it lets my freckles show through.

Sally Hansen Diamond Flash Topcoat: Like Andi, I love dark nail colors. Chips drive me particularly crazy with them, though, because they’re so much more visible than when I wear paler shades. This topcoat takes care of things and could last you from your rehearsal dinner all the way through the first few days of your honeymoon. It’s thick and shiny like a gel, dries nails to the touch in 60 seconds, and helps my manicures endure almost a week with minimal chipping.

Flower Beauty Glisten Up Highlighter: I love the look of fresh, glowy skin. I’ve tried a few other highlighter products, but too often, “glowy” translated to “sparkly,” which just isn’t my preference. This stick version truly lives up to its name, imparting a pretty, glistening effect that doesn’t glitter, but beautifully enhances the radiance you already possess. For your wedding day look, a subtle highlighter like this would look lovely not just on your face, but on the collarbones or shoulders, as well.

L’Oreal Double Extend Mascara: Featuring a primer on one end of the tube and color on the other, I’ll be forever loyal to this two-step mascara that provides significant volume, doesn’t smudge thanks to “tube” technology that wraps around lashes instead of adhering to them, and rinses off with warm water; no remover required. While it’s true that tears are technically warm water--hello, wedding emotions--my secret is to avoid rubbing at my eyes when I get weepy, and the product stays put.

We love chatting with you about favorite things like these cosmetic items. Chime in with your favorites in the comments and on our social media! If you're planning on doing your own bridal makeup for your big day, don't miss our video tutorial with professional makeup artist Nicole Caruso.

Julie + Rudy | New Jersey Trail Club Wedding

In 2011, Julie was a nursing student at Villanova University who’d just signed up for a summer in Europe, including World Youth Day in Madrid. Her neighbor, who’d attended a previous World Youth Day with the Salesians of Don Bosco, recommended she travel with the Salesians’ group for her trip. Rudy was living in community in Chicago, on mission with...the Salesians of Don Bosco. At the conclusion of his service, Rudy's parish gifted him with his own ticket to World Youth Day, one that would take him to Europe with the Salesians and, ultimately, to his future bride.

Before their first conversation during the flight, Julie assumed Rudy was a seminarian. The girl from New Jersey and the young man from Miami landed in Fatima, Portugal with their group shortly before the Feast of the Assumption, where they spent the next three days with pilgrims from the world over, joined in humble prayer to Our Lady.

On the second night, following candlelit prayer in the town square, Julie decided to partake in a practice common at the holy ground of Fatima: crawling on one’s knees, the length of a football field, to the sacred spot where Mary appeared in 1917, on the day the sun danced. Rudy asked if he could join her.

For the next 45 minutes of pain and anguish, Julie and Rudy experienced the love of Jesus and Mary, through each other, in a profound way. This love between the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts became the foundation for a friendship, then romantic love, and, seven years later, for a lifetime of marriage.

From the Bride:

Little did I know that what started as my European summer vacation would turn into a life-changing pilgrimage where I not only would experience the love of Christ and Mary amid millions of college students from all over the world, but also meet the man God had been preparing my heart for. My husband.

Having Fr. Steve, the priest who led our trip to World Youth Day where we met all those years ago, celebrate our wedding Mass meant the world. He has been our spiritual mentor and support from the very beginning of our relationship, encouraging us to lean on each other--but most of all, to lean on God and on the Blessed Mother.

Getting married in Our Lady of Victories, the church where I grew up, brought me such joy. Our house was two blocks away, so each Sunday, for as long as I can remember, my family would walk to church. Our Lady of Victories, being the size of a small chapel, is known as "the little church with a big heart." Having over 200 guests crammed in the pews made the church feel so full and joyful.

Inside our wedding bands are the words "Totus Tuus," which translates from Latin to "Totally Yours." Rudy and I both have a great love for Pope Saint John Paul II, who inspired this idea. JPII, through his great love for Mary, often had his crucifixes inscribed with "Totus Tuus Maria."

Before our wedding day, we promised to write to each other the morning of. The idea of elaborate wedding gifts was silly to Rudy and I, for we felt we were already receiving the greatest gift of all that day: the gift of each other, through Christ. Despite this agreement, we did exchange small homemade gifts.

Rudy finished his letter to me with the words, "You are my home now," and gave me an inscribed key to our first home.

I gave him a small wooden box, with a gift inside that I'd been preparing long before I knew him. It held close to one hundred letters to my future husband that I had been writing since I was a freshman in high school, when I decided I wanted to practice chastity and give the gift of myself to my future husband alone. The wooden box was inscribed with a quote from an E. E. Cummings poem: "I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart."

For the communion hymn at our Mass, we chose our favorite song, "Lord I Need You" by Matt Maher. We prayed together on the altar as husband and wife, both looking at each other and then staring up at the giant crucifix. As we heard the entire church belt out these beautiful lyrics, we were reminded that as we began to take our first steps of marriage, we would need God throughout the entire journey. We continue to pursue him as husband and wife, even more so than before, as we carry out the mission he has laid before us: to get each other to heaven.

We had certain statues placed on the altar, signifying that as we begin our vocation of marriage we ask the saints to intercede for us, pray for us, and help us. We chose Teresa of Calcutta for our love and dedication to service, St. Martin de Porres for my grandfather's presence, St. John Bosco in thanks for our meeting through the Salesians, St. Padre Pio, and especially Our Lady of Fatima, for our eternal devotion to Mary. It was in Fatima that we experienced love in its purest, most humble form. We experienced the love of Christ and Mary through each other.

As part of a Cuban wedding tradition, our godmothers placed a mantilla--a lace shawl--over our shoulders before the consecration. The mantilla symbolizes the indissoluble union that has been established before God, through marriage. Just as we were wrapped in a lace gown the days of our baptisms, we are now wrapped in this lace shawl as a reminder of the promises our parents and godparents made for us at baptism to dedicate ourselves to Christ. At the altar on our wedding day, the bride and groom renew their baptismal vows and make them as one, together dedicating their lives to Christ.

When I think back to our wedding day, the beloved quote by Fr. Pedro Arrupe, which we shared on the back of our Mass programs, comes to mind:

Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

Photography: Curtis Smith Photography | Church: Our Lady of Victories, Harrington Park, NJ | Reception: Indian Trail Club, Franklin Lakes, NJ | Rings: Diamonds Direct, St. Petersburg, FL | Flowers: Flora Gallery, Chester, NJ | Invitations: Shine Wedding Invitations | Church Programs: Morgan E. Moore | Bridal Gown & Veil: I Do I Do, Morristown, NJ | Bride's Shoes: BHLDN | Bridesmaids' Dresses: Nordstrom | Tuxedos: Biltmore Tuxedo, Ridgewood, NJ | Cake Topper: Willow Tree | Cake Baker: A Little Cake, Park Ridge, NJ | Music: Hank Lane Music | Hair and Makeup: Michelle's Salon, Woodcliff Lake, NJ | Mini Ice Cream Cone Dessert: Milk Sugar Love, Jersey City, NJ | Trolley: New York Trolley Company

Fostering Relationships Among Your Bridesmaids

STEPHANIE CALIS

Will your wedding party be bringing together women from different areas of your life? Weddings are nearly always sources of worlds colliding, with you and your beloved as the common thread between your guests.

Photography: Chelsea Sliwa Photography

My husband’s groomsmen consisted of his two brothers and three lifelong friends, nearly all of whom had known each other since their toddler years. No introductions or new friendships necessary. On the other hand, my bridesmaids were my sister, two sisters-in-law, cousins, and college roommate. It felt like a significant responsibility to introduce these women to each other, and in my head, like an obligation that they spend time together and, ideally, become friends. Looking back, I now understand putting that pressure on myself wasn’t necessary, but I do know that hope for your closest sisters to feel close to each other is a natural and good inclination.

If you have the same desire on your heart, to invite your friends and family members into each other’s lives as they help you prepare for marriage, consider these steps a starting point, and let relationships develop naturally--or not, which is alright--from there.

Make the first move.

After officially asking your maids to stand by you on your wedding day, introduce them with a group email or text. Start a conversation by inviting them to share their contact information, which enables these ladies to greet each other even if they’re scattered across different cities or states. While you’re at it…

...Invite your bridesmaids to join you in wedding-related tasks.

Having a clear purpose in mind can be helpful when hanging out with someone new for the first time. When you’re browsing for dresses, mailing Save-the-Dates, or assembling favors, invite your bridesmaids to join you--spending time on a project or to-do list item can be a bonding experience for everyone involved. To avoid a sense of overwhelm or obligation, I recommend framing these invitations casually rather than as major events; you can simply tell your bridesmaids, via text, what your plans are and let them know they’re welcome to accompany you if they like.

Pray.

When you and your bridesmaids share a life of faith, it can be beautiful to spend time together on a short retreat, at a holy hour, or a young adult event in your diocese. But what if that’s not the case? I’ve tasted the pain of division when someone close to you doesn’t share in your spirituality, or worse, is hostile to it.

If you’re experiencing this struggle, turn to Christ: pray for a spirit of peace about your wedding party and wedding day. Moreover, pray for littleness. Ask the Lord to help you get out of your own way. Ask him to let your love for your husband-to-be and the graces of your nuptial Mass speak for themselves. It’s always an exercise in prudence when deciding whether to speak overtly about matters of Catholic teaching, or whether to lead by example--in all things, make an appeal to the heart.

As joyful an occasion as your marriage is--a foretaste of heaven--the earthside reality is that weddings sometimes stir up past wounds and brokenness. Strive for sensitivity in these matters, particularly with bridesmaids or close family members, and find comfort placing them in the hands of the Father. It hurts knowing something that brings you happiness might be bringing sadness upon someone you love. But redemptive suffering is real, and so is selfless love. Your humble witness of love, simply by virtue of who you are, can be an instrument of consolation and encouragement and can be offered up for the good of your guests. No matter where your wedding party members are in their lives and spiritual journeys, Fr. Leo Patalinghug writes, “Having a prominent place in the ceremony, so close to the couple, these people will no doubt remember that image of two people very much in love with each other.”

Like much in the Christian life, the relational aspect of wedding planning can feel rife with paradox, specifically, the mingling of your joy with empathy for others' struggles. We love hearing from you on matters like these--be sure to share ways you've developed relationships between your bridesmaids in the comments and on our social media. And if you're looking for bridesmaids gift ideas, use our picks to inspire your selections.

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Newlywed Life | 4 Ways to Have a Prayerful Honeymoon

STEPHANIE CALIS

The morning following our wedding, my husband and I went to Sunday Mass, ate breakfast at a diner where we were given a free piece of pie, and spent the next eight hours in the car en route to Wilmington, North Carolina. We spent the next week exploring the gardens, downtown, and beaches of this beautiful seaside town. Its small-city feel, with its mix of opportunities for culture and relaxation, suited us perfectly. Simplicity.

Before marriage, I’d listened with awe to my friends’ stories of running through the streets of Rome in wedding attire, eager to get a good spot in the sposi novelli section of the Pope’s weekly audience. Their trips sounded amazing, yet I knew that immediately following our wedding, time and budget constraints would mean a Roman honeymoon just wasn’t a possibility for us. I felt at peace with this fact and, moreover, was excited for a slower-paced trip that I knew suited our temperaments.

Even in the absence of international travel and a papal blessing, though, my husband and I talked about maintaining a disposition to prayer on our first-ever trip together. If you and your spouse-to-be are among those graced with the opportunity for a honeymoon in Rome, it will surely bear fruit in your new marriage. Yet it would be a misperception to believe Rome and the Vatican are the only locations where you can enjoy your first days as husband and wife in a deeply spiritual way.

If your honeymoon plans are stateside or if you’ve chosen another country or type of trip for your getaway, know that your choice is an equally worthy one and that it’s possible to have a prayerful, intentional honeymoon no matter where in the world you and your beloved are.

Here, our recommendations for bathing your honeymoon in a spirit of prayer.

Chase the Eucharist.

Commit to daily Mass, or even a daily holy hour, for the duration of your honeymoon. Depending on your destination, you might make one parish your home base, or prefer to explore different churches in the area. The Mass Times app is a valuable tool for finding Masses and Adoration, even internationally, and might surprise you with new--or old favorite--saints to whom you can pray in a particular way. The parish my husband and I frequented during our time in Wilmington was named for Saint Therese, whose intercession played a major role in our relationship. Coincidence?

Read a spiritual book together.

Diving into new-to-you reading during this sacred time, like Elise and her husband did, offers not only material for contemplation, but an experience to remember your trip by and refer back to in the future. See recommendations from us and some of our brides here.

Develop a prayer routine.

Newlywed life, particularly on your honeymoon, offers significantly more time together than you’ve had in the past, including time for prayer first thing in the morning and last thing before bed. Use these first days of your marriage to expand upon the prayer rituals you employed while dating and engaged, or create a routine for the first time. Rest, however, in the fact that there’s no pressure to have everything figured out by the time you head home. Developing a spiritual intimacy takes time, and the Church offers such depth and richness of options that suit you and your spouse, ranging from rote prayers and devotions, spontaneous prayer, lectio divina, music, and the Divine Office.

Consider a mission statement for your marriage.

This might sound official, but it doesn’t have to be! Men and women called to marriage are tasked with the mission of bearing Christ’s love to the world through their love for each other and, God willing, for their children. Taking time to converse about your hopes for your life together and ways you’ll live out your particular call to marriage can act as a touchstone for your vocation: principles to live by, words to turn to during dry or difficult seasons, and a succinct reminder of your path to heaven. A mission statement for your marriage puts into words the universal truth of the married vocation, in a way specific to you and your beloved. You might write your own statement, or you might turn to a particular word that arises in your hearts or a quote from Scripture or a saint.

I have to admit that my husband and I have never officially done this ourselves, but over time, there have been two quotes we’ve consistently turned to that express our relationship; ones that encapsulate the standards we strive to hold ourselves to in our marriage. One is “freedom exists for the sake of love,” from the old translation of Saint John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility, and the other is Saint Teresa of Calcutta’s exhortation that each of us “be the one” to quench the thirst of Jesus on the Cross, in the form of daily acts of love and prayer.

We love hearing about your own journeys and the ways, small and large, you enrich your spiritual life with your spouse. If there are practices that helped you look to Christ on your own honeymoon, be sure to share them in the comments and on our social media.

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Inviting the Lord Into Your Wedding Week Timeline

KEARA MOOBERRY

As a professional planner helping Catholic brides and grooms coordinate their weddings, I am called to reflect on the beautiful traditions of our Church. My reflection has brought me to consider my own wedding--almost seven years ago--and how if I were planning it from the place of deep faith I hold today, the timeline of our wedding festivities would have looked a bit different.

Avenue Creative Photography

Part of this spirit of reflection comes from where my husband and I were in our faith journey at the time we got married. We were both strong in our love for Christ and for the Church. Neither of us, however, was well-versed in the rich traditions of our faith outside of Sunday Mass.

Today, I love reading about engaged and newlywed couples who seem so practiced in their faith. It fills my heart with joy seeing how deeply it is integrated into their proposals, wedding preparations, celebrations, and families.

These brides and grooms truly place their marriages at Christ’s feet, acknowledging their primary vocation is to glorify him by serving each other in the sacrament of marriage.

Since I don’t have my own wedding to do over again, I pray that through my services, I am able to help and encourage my Catholic couples to integrate their spiritual life into their weddings. This means supporting them in timeline creation and helping them plan not just a day-of schedule, but a wedding week with significant time for spiritual rest and preparation leading up to the big  day.

Below are some of my favorite suggestions, as well as a sample timeline for structuring your own wedding week around Christ.

Confession

How wonderful would it feel to enter into marriage with a clean conscience, having absolutely no sin weighing down on you as you make your vows? In our marriage, my husband and I try to go to confession regularly, as it provides us with a time to support to each other in the sacrament. The day or two before your wedding, consider scheduling in a time to head off to confession with your beloved.

Daily Mass

Hearing the word of God, receiving the Eucharist, giving our Lord thanks and praise: the Mass has so much to offer our hearts! I encourage you to look up daily Mass times for the day before your wedding and take that extra hour to continue centering your hearts in preparation.

Adoration

I love the idea of Adoration before your rehearsal, with an invitation to your families and bridal party to join you. You could bring a prayer card, Rosary, or journal. Or, simply kneel in Christ’s presence, allowing him to wash over your hearts and fill you with the Holy Spirit. 

Veneration of Mary

This tradition can be part of your wedding ceremony, so it wouldn’t need to be included on an official timeline, but do discuss it with your priest. I love this tradition because you are asking our Mother of all the faithful to pray for you as you start your own family. This could involve lighting a candle before her statue or placing flowers at her feet. 

I hope these suggestions help you reflect as you think about your own wedding. The dress, the flowers, the food, the party...these details all give glory to God in their own true beauty. But the prayerful traditions of our faith offer us the even deeper beauty of union with Christ, his Church, and our spouses. I pray you find this fruit in your marriage preparations!

Below is a sample wedding week timeline Keara created for Spoken Bride readers; click to download your copy.

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About the Author: Keara Mooberry is a Catholic wife, mother to two little boys, and a wedding coordinator, owner of Keara Anne Weddings, based out of the greater Philadelphia area. She loves helping engaged couples stay organized and calm as they prepare for their wedding days and marriages. In her spare time, Keara can be found swimming, reading to her boys, and striving to live liturgically in her home.

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Vendor Spotlight | Red Fern Photography

How incredible that God himself is a master craftsman, creating each and every human person so uniquely and making his diving love visible in the physical, embodied nature of men and women. And when this profound beauty of our human nature is captured with an artist’s eye, we see it all the more clearly.

Rebecca Fougerousse, a fine artist trained in painting and art history, combined her love for art with her professional experience in project management to start her photography business, Red Fern Photography. To her surprise, what started as a side job intended as a simple creative outlet soon became a labor of love. “Little did I know,” shares Rebecca, “that I would discover a hidden love for people and their stories.”

Rebecca’s artistic background is evident in her soft, dreamy images. Inspired by the aesthetic of classical painters like Mary Cassatt and Pierre-Auguste Renoir, as well as the muted tones of film photography (she shoots both film and digital), Rebecca strives to be intentional about image composition and capture a natural softness in her couples’ poses. That natural sensibility translates to true emotion--another reminder that we are made for total integration of body and soul, for the exterior to reflect the interior.

From Rebecca: My personality is laid back, so my clients never feel pressured or stressed, but I understand the importance of timelines and details, so I'm happy to help my clients make sure that we get the most beautiful photos that we can on their day. My aesthetic is inspired by [painting]. But my clients inspire the story.

Through the years I've meet so many different kinds of couples, but they all share the same passion to commit themselves to each other through marriage. Catholic weddings in particular move me, because, as a married Catholic, I understand the gravity and the beauty of the sacrament they are entering. The start of a new family, of two becoming one, is such an inspirational part of weddings for me and makes them my favorite thing to photograph!