Praying with Mary, Wife of Joseph

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ERIN BUCHMANN

 

In sacred art, popular devotion, and even the liturgical calendar, the Church often honors the Blessed Virgin Mary in her role as Jesus’ mother. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: KASSONDRA PHOTOGRAPHY

PHOTOGRAPHY: KASSONDRA PHOTOGRAPHY

This makes sense: after all, each of our lives draws meaning from Jesus and is meant to be centered upon Him, and Mary’s life was centered upon Jesus in a very concrete way through their mother-child relationship. 

But while she is in fact Jesus’ mom and the spouse of the Holy Spirit (and not to diminish those realities!), during her earthly life she was also the wife of a human spouse, St. Joseph.

As brides, we can relate to Mary in this shared role. She has so much to teach us about human love and spousal life!

As the Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful and Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary help the faithful to meditate upon Mary’s relationship with Jesus, consider praying over the keystone events in Mary’s relationship with St. Joseph in a similar way, especially in this year dedicated to St. Joseph.

Here is a rosary-style reflection on five events Mary and Joseph experienced together in their marriage: their wedding, the flight into Egypt, their search for Jesus in Jerusalem, daily life in Nazareth, and Joseph’s death.

The First Spousal Mystery: Mary and Joseph are Wed

“Joseph … was a righteous man”

I imagine Mary must have been excited about her upcoming wedding. Joseph, being a righteous man, would likewise have been approaching their wedding day with complete purity of heart and mind. Surely neither one ever expected the path their love story would take (who could anticipate receiving multiple angelic visits and parenting the son of God, after all?), but by rooting their hearts in a perfect love of God and of each other, Mary and Joseph would have been able to receive each blessing from God and from each other as a gift unshrouded by sin, selfishness, or expectations.

Mary, help me to love my husband with perfect purity.

The Second Spousal Mystery: The Flight into Egypt

“Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed for Egypt.”

Assuming Jesus was a typical, squirmy, squirrely little kid, Mary probably had her hands full with him, especially as they fled to Egypt to avoid the wrath of King Herod. Not to mention that they were traveling at night and probably trying to travel quietly! She must have relied on Joseph to guard their little family from all sorts of dangers and potential pitfalls during this journey. She could not do everything on her own, but neither was she called to. Just as God had given her to be a helpmate to Joseph, God had given Joseph as a helpmate to her.

Mary, help me to trust in my husband’s ability to provide for our family.

The Third Spousal Mystery: Searching for Jesus in Jerusalem

“Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”

The three days during which Mary and Joseph were searching for Jesus must have been among the most stressful times of their shared life. Mary surely trusted in God’s providence throughout, but as she herself says, she was more than a little nervous! There must have been a great temptation for both Mary and Joseph to cast blame on the other, to grow sharp with each other, and to withdraw from each other rather than draw closer together in light of the stressful situation they were facing. Yet, after three days of searching, Mary and Joseph arrived at the temple side by side and there found Jesus.

Mary, help me to always remember that my husband and I are on the same team.

The Fourth Spousal Mystery: Daily Life in Nazareth

“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your home”

We know little about the day-to-day life of the Holy Family in Nazareth. Like any family, the Holy Family probably also experienced their share of hardships: misunderstandings, tight finances, challenging circumstances, deaths and divisions in their extended family. Mary likely knew well the exhaustion that accompanies long nights sitting up with a sick child and the tedium of household chores. There may have even been times when Mary longed for a break from her household and her family, even though she loved them dearly. Mary and Joseph were both human, after all!

Mary, help me to see the gifts and the graces hidden within my ordinary, daily life.

The Fifth Spousal Mystery: The Death of Joseph

“Perfect love drives out fear”

Mary was probably only in her thirties or early forties when Joseph passed away, leaving her a widow. Despite the relative brevity of their relationship their marriage was clearly a successful one, as both Mary and Joseph are not only saints, but Queen of Heaven and Patron of the Universal Church, respectively! I imagine their final moments together at Joseph’s deathbed were infused with sorrow at their impending separation, but also filled with hope, joy and a deep peace. Each was entrusting both themselves and their beloved spouse to God in a new way.

Mary, help me to love my husband with the peace that comes from God.

Spend some time meditating with these moments in the life of the Holy Family, and learn from the example set by Mary and St. Joseph’s marriage to help you grow in holiness through your own vocation. 

About the Author: Erin Buchmann hails from the lake country of central Minnesota. She enjoys writing things, cooking things, growing things, and spending time with her family. She and her husband are the parents of two little miracles.

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Your Marriage's Role in the Story of Salvation

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CORINNE GANNOTTI

 

What story is your life telling? What story is your marriage telling?

PHOTOGRAPHY: PIXELMUSICA WEDDINGS

PHOTOGRAPHY: PIXELMUSICA WEDDINGS

These questions are meaningful, even if they may seem to us at first a little self-important. They are the questions of purpose and value. They are the 'why does it matter?' that we can return to in the moments when we may be tempted to believe it doesn't anymore, or when things are really difficult and desolate. They undergird the times when we feel the goodness of God flourishing in our relationship in blossoms of evident grace.

It’s worth it for us to take time to ponder these questions because the implications of how we answer them touch everything that we do and are. They speak deeply into the scope of how we see ourselves in the greater world in which we live. And so, we do not have to fear pride when we take the time to reflect on them. Nor do we have to believe the lie that we aren't important enough to need to answer them. And above all, we do not have to fear that we do not know the answer to them. Because God has given us the answer in Christ.

The truth is that our story is bound up in a much bigger one. Our lives, and in turn our marriages, have a place in the fullness of the story of Salvation History - unfolding in real time, in beauty and mess and detail, under the providence of God. 

It’s a story that began at the very beginning and hasn’t stopped since. Through periods of enslavement and wandering and the unfolding of His law. Into ages of prophets and kings and the rising up of a great nation. Into the fullness of time, when He took on flesh and taught and healed and consummated it all on the cross. From His rising to His anointing of those to whom He left his Church and His mission. Into the years of that Church drawing close to Him through His sacraments. All pointing ahead to life fully redeemed with Him and in Him.

The story of your own family fits nestled right in its appointed place in this unfolding tale of God’s love. These historic, Biblical, covenantal moments can be traced through the timeline of our world all leading up to this moment now – the one you’re living. They all lead up and into the reality of your life story and fill it with meaning and scope.

If we mistakenly think that our marriages are only about us, or even more tragically that they are not really meaningful at all, we may miss the most important truth of all. The love that you and your spouse offer each other in fidelity through your lives is part of the way God has chosen to reveal His mystery to the world. It is a part of the greatest and most important story there is. And because of that, your marriage has cosmic level significance. The way you live – the unfolding story of your life, matters immensely.

Far from being meaningless or only about you, your life, vocation deeply included, is drawn up into the story of God's divine love. Henri Nouwen, a favorite spiritual writer and kind of spiritual father to me, once wrote in his book Bread for the Journey:

"We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them." 

The more we come to see our place in the greater story of God’s love for humanity, the better we can comprehend the real importance and dignity of our own life. The more, like Henri would encourage us, we can then trust that our story deserves to be told and shared and lived well. 

Because our story matters, and it is not just our own. 

Our marriages matter deeply to God. And when we can sense our personal significance to Him, life becomes better. We may then find ourselves capable of living more fully in every respect, which is really all God wants for us.

So maybe the real question of importance then becomes, “How do I see my marriage within the story of God's plan of love?”

Meditating upon that question and finding we can answer it well, can free us from the fear that we do not matter. God wants us to trust that the unfolding stories of our marriages rest in His arms, us confidently knowing the depth of their value.

About the Author: Corinne studied Theology and Catechetics at Franciscan University where she met her husband, Sam. They were married in 2016 and now live in Pennsylvania with their two children, Michael and Vera, and where she continues to work in the ministry field. She especially enjoys reading stories with her 3 year old, running, and crossing things off her to-do list. She desires to live a life marked by joy, and is grateful to have a family who makes that effort much easier by helping her take herself less seriously.

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Vendor Week 2021 | What is Your Relationship Founded On? Scriptures to Ground You Throughout Engagement & Marriage

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KRISTEN McGAUGHEY & SINIKKA ROHRER

 

If 2020 taught us anything, surely it is that life is unpredictable and uncontrollable. Reflecting on the year that passed, and sitting in the tension of these current tumultuous days, I have found myself frequently running back to consider three questions:

  1. Where does my hope lie?

  2. What am I trusting in?

  3. Do I really believe that God is good?

This may seem like a weird way to begin a blog post on marriage. But I've found it to be so true that what I believe, trust in, rely upon, and adhere to affects my entire life, and moreover my marriage. We must be anchored to truth and have a firm foundation on which to stand!

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:24-25 that Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.r 25 The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house.s But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.

When the foundation was solid, the house stood. What does that mean for us today?

If you look closely at this verse, you'll see that Jesus gives us a few key instructions.

First, we must 'hear his words'.

God has given us a treasure by giving us his Word, the Bible. We see the heart of our Father in these pages. We see the life and teachings of Jesus. We see the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 4:12 tells us that Indeed, the word of God is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating even between soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and able to discern reflections and thoughts of the heart. Scripture changes us! We must be women of the Word to establish our lives and our marriages on a solid foundation.

Secondly, in the verse, Jesus tells us that we not only need to hear his words, but also to do them.

The book of James echoes that same instruction, Be doers of the word and not hearers only... (James 1:22).

Thirdly, Jesus warns us that the storms will come.

He tells us in John 16:33 that in the world we will  have trouble (emphasis mine), but to take heart, for He has overcome the world. It is this that gives us reason to have hope, firm and secure (Hebrews 6:19).

We do not have to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34) for he will never leave or forsake us (Joshua 1:9), as he is with us always. (Matthew 28:20). What beautiful promises we have to cling to, whatever life may throw our way throughout our marital journey.

I don't know how 2020 shook out for you and your groom, or how the forecast for 2021 is looking. Maybe you're currently still trying to figure out rescheduled wedding plans. Maybe you had a quarantine wedding where most attended via Zoom. Maybe you're newly married and trying to figure out this new season of life as a wife. Maybe you're five, ten, or fifteen years married with a crew of babies underfoot.

Whatever your season may be, these things are vital to consider. We will never outgrow our need to center ourselves on Truth. We will never arrive at a place where we don't need to be in the Word, in prayer, and in fellowship. 

We will never escape our desperate need for Christ.

Jesus tells us in John 15:5, I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing. A branch will wither apart from the vine, and so it goes with us; we must cling to Him, building our days, our marriages, and our lives on the solid rock of Jesus Christ.

As you consider these things, I'd like to encourage you to spend some time reading the following Scriptures this week:

Philipians 2:1-18

John 15:1-27

Ask the Lord to show you how these truths can be applied to your life right now:What does it look like to love your fiancé? How can you demonstrate the love of Christ in your daily living? What does obedience to his Word look like right now?

I am praying that you will be rooted and grounded in love, that you may be able to comprehend the width, length, depth, and height of Christ’s love. My team and I  pray you may truly know the love of Christ which surpasses all knowledge, and be filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:17-19).

We are praying that your marriage be blessed, and that you will continue to build your marriage on the firm foundation of Jesus, and always abide in him, being hearers and doers of the Word. May you feel the Lord’s presence around you as we lift you up!

About the Authors: Kristen McGaughey and Sinikka Rohrer of Soul Creations Photography are part of an Indiana-based photography team offering a unique client experience centered on spiritual and practical support for Christian and Catholic brides on their way to the aisle and all throughout their marital journey.

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Walking with Abraham

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ERIN BUCHMANN

 

If you were to ask me on our wedding day whether the story of Abraham and Isaac had anything to do with marriage, I’d have answered no. Yet, a year later, I could not shake this story from my mind. And now, two years after our wedding day, I consider it one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned as a wife.

A year ago, our family was in a season of deep mourning. Two months before, we had buried our son, our only child, whom we’d miscarried. I was still grieving his death acutely and my husband, in addition to being my comforter-in-chief, had also become a sort of mental health guardian for me. 

He was the one talking me over the mountains of sadness and offering me his shoulder so I could cry through all the feelings my heart was experiencing. I truly felt that he was in many ways acting as my safety chain: his companionship was keeping me from free-falling off the emotional cliff I was hanging from, keeping me from tumbling down into an abyss of grief. 

Please, Lord, I often prayed, don’t take him away from me! If he were to die too, I’d really fall apart emotionally.

Although my husband is the one God has given me to cling to, in good times and in bad ones such as this, in my grief I had begun to cling to him too tightly. 

Having experienced the depth of the pain that can accompany the loss of a close family member, I became terrified that God might ask me to go through that agonizing pain of loss again: this time without my husband’s presence and support. 

I had, metaphorically, wrapped both my arms around my husband’s waist and positioned myself between him and God, attempting to shield him from the one who holds the keys of death.

Related: When Earthly Marriage Feels Preferable to Heaven

Then, out of my prayer walked Abraham. He loved his son Isaac dearly, as I love my husband. And, just as I feared God would ask me, God really did ask Abraham if he would be willing to part with the one he loved! 

But whereas I had become fearful of what God might do, Abraham trusted the unsearchable wisdom within His plans. 

Even more courageously, he trusted that God had both his good and the good of his precious son in mind. And so, grounded in his faith, he stepped forward: “Early the next morning Abraham saddled his donkey, took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac, and after cutting the wood for the burnt offering, set out for the place of which God had told him.”

When God asked Abraham to fully entrust to him his beloved, he did. Although he still certainly loved Isaac beyond measure, Abraham allowed God to have the ultimate word in determining the course of his son’s life. And everything turned out not merely alright for Abraham, but very good! 

“Because you acted as you did in not withholding from me your son, your only one,” God told him, “I will bless you and make your descendants as countless as the stars of the sky and the sands of the seashore; your descendants will take possession of the gates of their enemies, and in your descendants all the nations of the earth will find blessing, because you obeyed my command.”

Here is where I believe the story of Abraham and Isaac has something great to teach us about marriage and family life. 

Like Abraham, I believe God wants to teach us not only to trust His plans, but also to entrust the lives and even the salvation of our loved ones to him. Abraham’s experience shows us that God has the best interests of both us and our loved ones in mind. We need not fear Him. 

This is the challenge put to us by Abraham’s example: will we let God love our spouse even more than we do? 

What if what is best for his salvation is death at a young age, a return to God sooner than we hope? If this is what God asks of us, are we willing to surrender our beloved to His embrace instead of our own? 

The same challenge holds with regard to our children. Are we willing to entrust them to God’s loving care, even if this means accompanying them through great sickness or suffering, or promising them on their deathbed that we will never forget them? What if God desires to hold our unborn child first?

Today, two years after our wedding day, one year after my encounter with Abraham, I sit writing and holding our sleeping daughter, our rainbow baby. 

Throughout my pregnancy with her, memories of our son’s death and fears that we would not get to meet her on this side of heaven would often surface in my mind.

But, to my amazement, responding to these fears with a prayer of entrustment really helped me remain calm, hopeful, and grounded in God, like Abraham was. 

Often this prayer was simple: God, I know you love our daughter even more than we do. I don’t ask that you keep her alive, because you know what is ultimately best for her, but please shelter her in your arms and protect her from all evil.

As my pregnancy progressed and I entrusted her more and more to God, I found that I became not detached from her but instead much more able to bond with her and embrace every moment I was given to share with her on earth. 

Eventually, I even became able to act with faith, as Abraham did when he saddled his donkey. I became able to prepare materially for her birth, something I had been reluctant to do out of fear that she, like our son, might die before we met.

I encourage you to consider accepting Abraham’s challenge. I hope that you too find tremendous peace and strength in entrusting to God the people you love most dearly, remembering always that He loves them even more.

“Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

About the Author: Erin Buchmann enjoys morning walks, quiet evenings at home, and knitting whenever she can find the time...and two free hands. She and her husband are the parents of two little miracles and guardians of one little cat.

Wedding Jewelry | How Your Engagement Ring Can Be a Means of Evangelization

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JAY ROSS

 

Weddings are all about “the first:” The first time we plan a major event. The first photo shoot. The first time you buy  a high-quality cake and plan a large catering event. The first time you’re fit for high-end clothing--maybe the first time you’ve seen a tailor. The first time you buy serious jewelry. In a lot of ways, it can seem like we have to invent everything for the first time. 

It can seem like marriage itself has never been done before and that we are blazing the path to do it right--especially with the multitude of options out there.

As a jeweler, I see this with wedding rings and I bet you do, too. When you observe jewelry trends and friends’ and family members’ wedding rings, you can see that they look a lot different than they have in the past 50 years. A lot of these rings aren’t even what we would consider jewelry 20 years ago--rings made of nylon, wood, titanium--even antlers. 

With this redefinition of the wedding ring it’s hard to be able to predict what your spouse-to-be might love.

As you begin designing or shopping for a ring, consider that the materials can take on a spiritual significance and be a witness to a loving God. 

Saint John Paul the Great wrote this Instruction, titled Redemptionis Sacrementum, on liturgical norms: 

[117.] Sacred vessels for containing the Body and Blood of the Lord must be made in strict conformity with the norms of tradition and of the liturgical books...It is strictly required, however, that such materials be truly noble in the common estimation within a given region, so that honor will be given to the Lord by their use, and all risk of diminishing the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharistic species in the eyes of the faithful will be avoided. Reprobated, therefore, is any practice of using for the celebration of Mass common vessels, or others lacking in quality, or devoid of all artistic merit or which are mere containers....” (emphasis added)

This passage is about chalices. But after reading it, I found it incredibly important to me to educate whoever I meet about this since I realized that it is my calling is to make sacred objects of another type,one that nearly all faithful will wear at some point in their lives--rings. 

My friend Carlos Sacasa, a Canon Lawyer and speaker on prayer and Catholic tradition, says  “[Chalices]...the inner lining that touches to host and the body and blood of Jesus Christ has to be gold.”

This was enlightening. I asked, “Why gold?”

“It is a precious metal.” 

Only precious metals are supposed to be touching the host; it is a sign of reverence. Usually in the most traditional chalices they are lined with gold. As with rings, it’s actually an ancient tradition going back to the very beginning.

In Genesis 24:34-58, Abraham wants to find a wife for his son, Isaac, so he sends his servant, who finds her through a sign from God. When the servant finds her, he gives her a gold ring as a symbol of the betrothal.

So what does it say when choosing rings made of gold? It is a sign of reverence. For those who choose it, the more gold content in the ring, the purer, and the higher the karat, which can mirror the purity of your love. It also reflects the history of our faith: Scripture contains plenty of references to the purity of gold, to refining, to the crucible in both the Old and New Testaments. (Gold, of course, goes back to Exodus and is mentioned even in the creation section of Genesis--Gen. 2:12)). Diamonds are not mentioned--that doesn’t mean you can’t include them, but if a Scripturally rich ring interests you, consider that investing in a higher karat gold can ultimately amount to a similar price point as diamonds would.

In addition to materials, give some thought to the process itself. At our company, my wife and I ask clients to share their intentions as we are melting the gold for their wedding rings; we are honored to bring to God in the melting of this metal and the creation of their rings.

Any jeweler should be able to keep a small part of the materials from your engagement ring to be incorporated into your wedding rings when you purchase those. The pieces will be melted together, all three pieces of the same whole. A beautiful representation of the trinity. 

Lastly, consider the symbolism of certain stones and faith elements in your rings. In my company’s own experience, we’ve created rings that represented the sacrament of marriage, in a way that told the unique love story of the couple who bought them: in Texas the anastasis of Jesus Christ was incorporated (we used carved lilies and crosses to represent death and resurrection of both Jesus Christ’s passion and the death and resurrection of marriage). In Chicago, we represented the trinity using Celtic knots--and a mission trip to Tanzania using Tanzanite. We’ve done Melkite imagery. Stem lilies for St. Joseph. Anchors of Stella Mar. The list goes on. 

Artistic merit is not only present in these pieces of sacramental jewelry--it is fittingly representative of a Catholic sacrament. Feel free to email me at jesse@thirtyonefour.com even if you’re not our customer; I can help with the process of budgeting for labor and materials with any jeweler.

What, then, do you think she’s going to do when people ask your bride about her ring? She is going to evangelize. She is going to bring them home to Jesus Christ.

Here, my tips for incorporating these elements of evangelization with any jeweler you work with. 

Ask your jeweler about custom designing a ring with elements of your faith.

When they cast this ring in gold (some jewelers are only resellers that won’t be able to do this, but it’s easy enough to find one who makes the jewelry there in the shop), ask them to pray for your intentions.

Choose a higher karat.

Additionally, if you want stones for a ring, we (or any jeweler in your town) can walk you through the process of spending at a low price point for a cubic zirconia to a bigger investment for a beautiful gemstone like sapphire, emerald, ruby, or a synthetic or genuine diamond. The point is to at least be cognizant of the purchase and not to put all the weight there on the stone, but to redistribute the spending so you can make a more meaningful statement not only to your fiancée, but ultimately to the world at large, using the language of jewelry.

About the Author: Jay holds an MFA from the University of Central Florida. Jay and his wife Angie are Co-Founders of 31:Four Artisan Jewelry--an all-Catholic design and manufacturing studio based in the Orlando area. They are teaching the trade to their four children, who will be fourth-generation jewelers.

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Are You Currently Abstaining in Your NFP Journey? 3 Scriptural Encouragements to Do So with Purpose.

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The ideas in this post have been used with permission, from a talk given at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish in Ellicott City, Maryland and inspired by Fulton Sheen's talk on the tensions of the celibate life. Citations from the talk are indicated in italics.

 

In every vocation, God desires an intimate, personal communion with each of us; a depth of love that mirrors that between Christ the bridegroom and the Church, his bride. For men and women called to marriage, this outpouring of nuptial love takes on a literal and physical reality.

Physical, emotional, and spiritual expressions of sexuality are a great gift of married life. And yet, what about times when spouses are called to abstain from sexual intimacy?

Times of abstinence are built into every relationship throughout various seasons, due to engagement, discernment to avoid pregnancy, illness, or travel. It’s every couple’s prerogative to see these times as purposeful, rather than simply inconvenient or burdensome.

When abstinence is “treated only as a burdensome sacrifice, it isn’t really achieving anything.” Instead, couples are invited to dedicate their periods of abstinence to a particular spiritual purpose.

How? Sacred Scripture can point us to a deeper sense of purpose in married intimacy.

Archbishop Fulton Sheen identified three instances in the Old Testament wherein the Lord “gave a command of ‘temporary celibacy’” that are relevant to the married vocation. Rather than directives, they are ordered toward encouraging and positive purposes.

Abstinence in preparation to encounter the Lord

Chapter 19 of Exodus chronicles “The Great Theophany,” or appearance of the Lord to his people. God instructs Moses to tell his people, “on the third day the LORD will come down on Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people...Set limits for the people all around...Moses came down from the mountain to the people and had them sanctify themselves, and they washed their garments. He said to the people, “Be ready for the third day. Do not approach a woman.”

Abstinence, in this instance, is ordered toward preparation of the heart to meet with the Lord. In your times of abstinence, you might pray that God clear your heart and mind of any idols and distractions, and turn your gaze to him.

Abstinence as preparation for battle

First Samuel tells of David and his men readying for battle in wartime, stating to a priest that they have been “consecrated” for the task at hand--that is, they have been abstinent. They have given themselves over not to license, but “to the Lord and his purposes.”

Even when you and your beloved aren’t preparing for battle in a literal sense, spiritual warfare is real; consider offering phases of abstinence for peace and communion to triumph over unrest and division in your relationships with each other and with the Lord.

Related: What does chastity look like in marriage? | Developing a healthy attitude towards chastity

Abstinence as freedom to serve

Sheen identified Old Testament priests (all of whom, in their culture, were married) who abstained from sexual intimacy when they served their turn in the Temple, or on occasions of dedication of the Temple. Abstinence was intended to free them to “serve the Lord more wholeheartedly.”

In the same way, those called to marriage are called to say “no” to certain things--physical, emotional, and romantic closeness with someone other than their spouse; sex at times not appropriate to their season in life--so they can say “yes” to their spouse and to something greater: a holy union that welcomes the Lord’s will. 

Related: How to Connect With Your Spouse While Postponing Pregnancy

When we embrace it, rather than “white-knuckle it,” sacrifice is transformative. It purifies, strengthens, and redeems. If you and your beloved are currently in a season calling you to abstain from sexual intimacy, these Old Testament purposes can bring significance and fruits to this time. 

Consider, then, offering each “stretch of abstinence...for a particular spiritual purpose.” Draw strength from one another and from the one who is the source of love itself.

Allow Perfect Love to Drive out Fear.

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STEPHANIE FRIES

 

I remember the the insecurities of my heart as a single woman: intimidated by the inherent beauty of womanhood, afraid of being taken advantage of, unaware of the love God shares with the human heart. 

We are affirmed through Scripture that “perfect love drives out fear.” No matter the wounds we bring into relationships, God desires that all of his children experience love with both purity and passion. 

When I started dating the man I would eventually marry, I feared an encounter of passion without purity. Is he just looking at me or does he really see me? Is this a safe relationship to be vulnerable or will I be taken advantage of when I let my guard down?  

I erred on the side of self-protection. With no vulnerability, physical or emotional, there was no opportunity to be the object of someone else’s physical or emotional lust. In short, I was so afraid of being used that I was unable to receive—let alone offer—an honest act of love. 

My then-boyfriend was frustrated yet courageous as he remained patient, honest, and steadfast. And as he pursued me, I felt an increasing desire to pursue Christ. 

Christ instills confidence; through adoration, spiritual reading, and daily Mass, my heart began to soften at opportunities to share my heart with others—despite the potential risks. The ongoing encounters with pure love from a human man and perfect love from God the Father was a catalyst for my heart to more-fully reveal itself. 

When our hearts are exposed, our souls are vulnerable yet free. Free to establish and fulfill a steady identity in God. Free to love and be loved. Free to live abundantly in the spirit. Free to be fruitful in the vocations and Vocation of our lives. 

We don’t have to anxiously wait for a pure and perfect love to find us. God offers each of us his most Sacred Heart, on fire with love and purity, in our day-to-day lives; most powerfully through the Eucharist. He is waiting to tear down the walls we build out of hopeless fear. And as his perfect love drives out fear, we begin to experience life in new ways. 

For some, the freedom found in Christ may grow in tandem with a romantic relationship. But this is not the only freedom offered through God who is love! As fear fades, a life of adventure, joy, hope, and love comes into stronger clarity. When a heart is set free, everything changes.

About the Author: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband and daughter (Geoff and Abby), a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal…with dessert. Read more

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Remember Your Vows | Daily Strength for Difficult Moments

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MARIAH MAZA

 

If anyone asks me how to deal with conflict or trials in marriage, I will tell them two things: go to your room, get on your knees, and pray that God would shower you and your husband with the graces of the sacrament. And second, remember your vows.

In times when I am upset with my husband, when life’s unexpected crosses hit us, or when I don’t want to sacrifice in little ways for him, I find the most strength when I remember the vows I spoke on my wedding day: 

“I take you for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

These were the words I spoke in the presence of almost two hundred witnesses, in front of the tabernacle and in the true Presence of God. My husband and I had invited friends and family to our wedding to celebrate our sacramental union, but they were also gathered for another very important, often-overlooked reason. 

Our guests were there to witness our free consent to enter into marriage with each other, “until death do us part.” The Catechism tells us “the consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear,” and that “the public character of the consent protects the "I do" once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it” (CCC 1628, 1631).

And so, in difficult moments, I try to remember that moment in front of the altar, holding my husband’s hand, vowing the rest of my life to him “for better or for worse.” I try to remember that our union is now an example of faithful, sacramental love to my family and friends. 

What matters most isn’t that they never see us go through hard times, but that they see us remain faithful to God and to each other in the hardest times. What matters is that they see us live out not only half of our vows, but every part of them.

Psalm 116 reflects this when the psalmist writes “I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people” (Psalm 116:18). And when he says in Psalm 61 “I will duly sing to your name forever, fulfill my vows day after day” (Psalm 61:9).

The vows you make on your wedding day are lifelong words, overflowing with graces for every mountain and valley you and your spouse will walk through. They have given me strength when I’ve felt incredibly weak and have provided me with powerful accountability. And in the short time I’ve been married to my wonderful husband, I have found them to be an incredible comfort instead of a source of overwhelming fear--after all, who knows what crosses your vows may bind you to endure together? 

A daily reminder of your vows, like daily rhythms of prayer that remind us of God’s presence and love, will help lay a strong foundation in your marriage. Consider printing them out and framing them on the wall in your bedroom, so you and your beloved can see them everyday. Commit to repeating your vows to each other in the morning before your routine begins, or on special occasions like your anniversary or favorite feast days. Strive to memorize them, like you would the Hail Mary or Our Father, so that in moments of distress you can easily and quickly recall them to mind.

And finally, ask the Lord to give you and your husband the grace and courage to remain faithful to your vows, so you may be a public witness to the truth, beauty, and goodness of Catholic marriage. Christ is no stranger to the sacrifice of remaining faithful to his Bride, and we need only to look up at a crucifix to remember the depth of love and faithfulness we have been shown.

About the Author: Mariah Maza is Spoken Bride’s Features Editor. She is the co-founder of Joans in the Desert, a blog for bookish and creative Catholic women. Read more

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Unveiling Mystery | Venerable Fulton Sheen on Sacramental Marriage

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MARIAH MAZA

 

We know through the wisdom of Scripture and tradition that Christian marriage, a lifelong, indissoluble covenant between two baptized persons, is a sacrament. In the fifth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he speaks about the self-giving love of husbands and wives and how this love reflects the love of Christ for his bride, the Church. 

Through Jesus, marriage is elevated to something more profound, divine, and mysterious. At the end of Ephesians 5, Paul confirms this: “This (marital love) is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” This “great mystery” of marital love is something sacramental.

PHOTOGRAPHY: THE MANTILLA COMPANY

PHOTOGRAPHY: THE MANTILLA COMPANY

In fact, the origin of the word “sacrament” can be traced back to the Greek word mysterion meaning “mystery.” In return, the Latin word mysterium can be translated to mean “sacrament.” This is why, in the Byzantine Rite, the seven sacraments are referred to as the Holy Mysteries.

But these sacraments, despite being “mysterious” by their very nature, are something intended for us to enter into. The mysteries of the Church are not to remain shrouded in secret. God desires to reveal the divine beauty and reality of them to us through his grace. This element of mystery and the subsequent “unveiling” of it is especially true in marriage.

Soon-to-be-beatified Archbishop Fulton Sheen had a deep understanding of the divine mystery of sacramental marriage, despite his unmarried state in the priesthood. In his spiritual classic Three to Get Married, he writes, “great are the joys in marriage, as there is the lifting of progressive veils, until one is brought into the blazing lights of the Presence of God.” 

He wrote about four main mysteries, or “veils,” progressively lifted in marriage as a couple journeyed deeper and deeper into the sacrament: 

“In a true marriage, there is an ever-enchanting romance...First, there is the mystery of the other partner, which is body-mystery.”

Before marriage, a couple’s growing desire for intimacy manifests on multiple levels: emotional, spiritual, and physical. But until the sacrament is conferred, the ultimate expression of this desire for intimacy, for complete communion--for consummation--cannot yet be experienced. In the marriage vows, “both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh” (CCC 2364). Now the beauty of marital intimacy can be fully expressed in the spouses’ one flesh union. The first “veil” is lifted, because the beloved becomes totally known emotionally, spiritually, and physically in the sexual act of complete self-gift.

“When that mystery is solved and the first child is born, there begins a new mystery. The husband sees something in the wife he never before knew existed, namely, the beautiful mystery of motherhood. She sees a new mystery in him she never before knew existed, namely, the mystery of fatherhood.”

The Church teaches that “conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment” (CCC 2366). The mystery of sacramental marriage does not end after the wedding night, but rather grows and deepens through the fruitfulness of that consummation. 

Many times, that fruitfulness comes in the form of a child. And as a husband and wife welcome the birth of their child, an incredible transformation occurs in their hearts: the birth of their identities as mother and father. This reveals a facet of the beloved previously unknown. Spouses can delight in the unveiling of motherly and fatherly love they witness in each other with the onset of parenthood.

“As the children reach the age of reason, a third mystery unfolds, that of father-craft and mother-craft – the disciplining and training of young minds and hearts in the ways of God.”

Proverbs 22:6 admonishes parents to “train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it.” And thus, another mystery unfolds in marriage: the mystery of the “domestic church.” Husbands and wives, now mothers and fathers, take on the responsibility of spiritually forming the souls of their children. They strive in family life to imitate the Holy Family where Christ himself was born and raised. To do this, the spouses must continue to lean on the endless graces of the marriage sacrament, which, in its fruitfulness, has only grown in life and love since their wedding day.  

“As the children grow into maturity, the mystery continues to deepen, new areas of exploration open up, and the father and mother now see themselves as sculptors in the great quarry of humanity, carving living stones and fitting them together in the Temple of God, Whose Architect is Love.”

As parents watch their children grow in age and virtue, they witness the fruits of their prayers and spiritual formation. In time, patience, and trust in the Lord, spouses can hope to see their sons and daughters become saints who take their place in salvation history. 

At this point the time before children, when the “body-mystery” of their one flesh union was yet to be unveiled, is many years past. But the mysteries of sacramental marriage continue, until, in the words of Fulton Sheen, husband and wife are “brought into the blazing lights of the Presence of God,” when Heaven itself is unveiled. “The body may grow older,” says Archbishop Sheen, “but the Spirit grows younger, and love often becomes more intense.”

If you are engaged, the excitement of these unknowns becoming known is something to joyfully anticipate as your wedding day approaches. If you and your beloved are newlyweds, perhaps you have already experienced the sacred beauty that awaits behind one or two of these “veils.” May you find joy in the unending mystery of the sacrament and strength in the graces God desires to lavish on you and your beloved.

Venerable Fulton Sheen, pray for us, for all engaged couples preparing for marriage, and for newlyweds just beginning to unveil the mysteries of the sacrament.

About the Author: Mariah Maza is Spoken Bride’s Features Editor. She is the co-founder of Joans in the Desert, a blog for bookish and creative Catholic women. Read more

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Stresses During Engagement Can Strengthen Your Marriage.

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KIKI HAYDEN

 

It is hard to thank God for the difficult situations in our lives, but each time we surrender to the Lord, he works a miracle in our hearts.

Honestly, I am grateful that Michael and I endured some trials before we got married. Engagement, while a joyful time, can also be a time of intense formation in preparation for marriage. It is an opportunity to wash each other's feet, to face challenges together, and to rely on Jesus as the source of your strength and love.

You and your fiancé are sharing many joys during this time, but probably some sorrows as well. If one of you suffers, so does the other, and this shared experience can happen at a whole new level now that you have committed to becoming a family. It feels raw and vulnerable. But Jesus teaches that intimate relationships involve serving each other—and being vulnerable enough to receive service.

One of the most tender moments in Scripture is when Jesus washes his disciples' feet. At first, Peter refuses to let the Lord wash his dirty feet, but Jesus explains that this service, although messy, is crucial to their relationship (John 13:4-17):

“Peter said to him, “You will never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me.” Simon Peter said to him, “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.”

At first I, like Peter, was reluctant to allow Michael to serve me. I was determined to contribute equally to the relationship, and Michael expressed a similar sentiment. Neither of us wanted to be a "burden" to the other. But throughout our engagement, the Lord humbled us over and over again, sometimes in not-so-small ways. There were cockroach infestations, broken down cars, a minor surgery, a lost job, and even a death in the family.

With our pride stripped away, we were better able to humbly receive service and support from each other.

And as our relationship grew stronger, we realized it didn't matter if one of us was doing more serving and the other more receiving. We were becoming a family, and families don't keep score.

This lesson has been extremely important in our marriage as we continue to lean on each other. While some of our experiences during our engagement were sad, I can see now that the Lord didn't let any suffering go to waste. He used each trial, whether big or small, to bring us together and to teach us how to carry each other's crosses.

Furthermore, there is a whole new kind of challenge during engagement: making big decisions that affect you as a unit, as a family. Maybe you and your fiancé are deciding where to live after you get married, how to budget, or how to navigate the maze of wedding preparation. When there are bumps in the road, you are now affected as a couple. Two lives have already begun to become one.

One of our bumps in the road was our marriage paperwork. Through our own oversight, our files were lost somewhere between the Roman Catholic parish and the Byzantine Catholic parish. Many phone calls, emails, letters, visits to parish offices, and five months later, the files were in one place, and we were finally allowed to attend our first premarital counseling session.

We felt the effects of our mistake not as "my problem" or "Michael's problem", but as something we would have to solve together with God's help. At the time, I did not embrace these difficulties with grace. But looking back, I thank God for them.

During our engagement, we discovered that we can love each other, suffer together, and stay faithful to God's plan even when it doesn't look like circumstances are going to work out as we would prefer them. So when we encountered an unexpected cross during our first year of marriage, it wasn't the first time we had been challenged as a couple.

Here's the thing, though: we couldn’t have done any of that without Jesus. "We love because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Christ is the source of strength and love in all marriages. As Catholics, we have access to Scripture and the sacraments, where we encounter God and receive his graces.

I can't be strong for Michael, nor him for me, if we rely only on ourselves. And it isn't enough to rely on each other, either.

Sometimes we both feel stressed or sad. In those moments, Jesus reminds us of his love for both of us. He even feeds us with his own body in the Eucharist to give us strength to keep going in situations that seem beyond our capabilities.

So as you and your fiancé progress together through your engagement, I pray that every difficulty, every disagreement, and every decision will bring you both closer to each other—and, more importantly, to the God who created you and loves you both. Your vocation is a call to holiness, so why not start embracing that attitude as you prepare for marriage?

Whether great tragedy or minor inconvenience, suffering doesn't have to be pointless. We can allow God to use those moments to sanctify us. Remember, "In all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

About the Author: Kiki Hayden is a writer and Bilingual Speech Therapist living in Texas with her dog Goldberry and her husband Michael. She is a Byzantine Catholic. To find out more about how God is changing her life through speech therapy, visit her website, Speaking with Kiki.

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The Bible is an Epic Love Poem

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JESSE ROSS

 

The word “love” is thrown around a lot lately--it’s no wonder it’s getting a little banged up.

Photography: 31Four Jewelry

Photography: 31Four Jewelry

If we pick up the word “love” off the debate floor, though, and polish it up a little bit, we find that it is as beautiful as can be, a lot older, a lot richer, and a lot more intentional than we usually give it credit for.

Consider the history of love: there is a great epic poem written about it, and it is based in the Near to Middle East. It starts with a lonely man foraging on a planet by himself. The creator of the planet comes down and tells the lonely man that he can have everything on the whole planet: all the weird animals nobody has ever seen before, all the spiny green and viney plants, even all the things swimming and squirming around in the planet’s vast oceans.

The creator of this planet hasn’t even deigned to give anything names. The lonely man gets to  call them whatever he wants. And the place is beautiful (envision waterfalls, coconut trees, and lush flowering landscapes). In fact, the man is placed right in the middle of a veritable paradise.

But something isn’t right. The man is lonely. So the creator who loves him perfectly makes another person for him; so he can experience love and give love. Now this no-longer-lonely man and his fiance (for lack of a better term) stand before their creator, listen to the rules about the creator’s planet, agree to follow them, and are told to “be fruitful and multiply.”

This is the way it starts out: the first chapter, the first marriage.

This poem is printed in every language, and it goes on to tell tale after tale about love in one way or another; love of that original creator, love between the original man’s sons and daughters (and the ensuing drama and murder between them), and eventually love between a God and the entire people he created, ending in a tragic but beautiful death.

This epic poem, if you haven’t figured it out, is the Bible, and it talks about love for thousands of pages.

In fact, a narrative thread can be woven through the entirety of the Bible with the reader as the hero. But not only is there a hero in the Bible; it is largely written in verse (poetry form). Therefore, we can say the Bible is an epic love poem, an extraordinary form of poetic, narrative prose!

As members of the Roman Catholic Church, we claim ownership of this great narrative poetry. Our values are reflected in it because we wrote it, excepting the Old Testament books which we inherited from our Jewish ancestors.

So if we want to know what love is--as Catholics--and how we ought to define it, all we have to do is look closely at how it is represented in our literature. Just as we might look at how the ancient Norse writings represented Beowulf as a warrior who was rich beyond belief. So like Vikings valued war and gold, Catholics value true love.

In the case of Adam and Eve (that once lonely man and his wife), they lived physically and spiritually together. When she sinned, he sinned, and their salvations were bound together. They had children, and eventually they died together. They are prototypical parents but also intimately connected with God, since he is present as they become man and wife.

Also, since we know how the story of salvation history ends: with the new Eve and the salvation of Jesus Christ, despite committing the first sin, Adam and Eve are invited into redemption (much later in the poem) through the sacrificial act of crucifixion.

A logical read of this literature yields that marriage is inherently good. That it is part of God’s plan. But we also learn that everyone will face problems in their marriage, and the path to their salvation will be forged out of it, as well as the salvation of their children.

In the book of Genesis, the very basis of love itself is set forth. It defines the creation of mankind not merely as a set of individuals but as a complementary set made up necessarily of men and women. This is part and parcel of creation.

Moving beyond the popular, political argument of biblical marriage including a man and a woman, this chapter in Genesis says that marriage is not merely about being an individual.  Rather, the next intended stage of life itself is marriage.

Consider that unique value. Marriage isn’t part of life. Life ordinarily culminates in marriage. And if it doesn’t, that life is uniquely and extraordinarily recognized by the lack of the normal marriage state. This is the case of religious sisters and priests--their celibate state tends to be recognized because of its sacrificial lacking in one way or another.

In our Bible narrative, marriage is a divinely created concept. Eve was made for Adam. Adam was there before her, waiting for her, profoundly alone without her. He was made for Eve because he was deliberately created to receive and give love. He waits for his love and helpmate, which leads us into the second great biblical imagery and literature of love: the Song of Songs.

The location of the first wedding is the Garden of Eden. The later, classic Hebrew example of romantic love is the Song of Songs. It is interesting that the bridegroom also talks of a garden, of pomegranates, of “choice fruits.” In fact, this garden imagery is explicitly stated when Solomon writes “you are a garden locked up.”

Again, the idea of marriage as a fruitful garden repeats. This is our value system, being described in poetry. What’s more, virtually every sense--even less common literary examples of senses such as taste, “your lips drop sweetness of the honeycomb,” and tactile sensations, “my head is drenched with dew,” seem to point towards the physicality of marriage.

The Song of Songs celebrates physical love in dramatic and almost scandalous sensory imagery. And this is in the Bible, canonically defining marital love as a physical act between a man and a woman. It is a fruitful act, and one that is celebrated and to be engaged in with every sense you have.

Thus, if in Genesis we accept marriage as a destined purpose of life, and from the Song of Songs we learn the physicality between a bride and groom is a part of it, then we have to consider what else is part of love.

To put it simply, God is.

In Song of Songs 4:8, Lebanon is mentioned several times. What’s more, the bridegroom says to his beloved, “come to me from Lebanon,” which is the modern-day locale of Cana, the first miracle and also a wedding. This leads us, obviously and finally, to Jesus Christ.

In Christopher West’s book, The Word Made Flesh, he reminds us that St. Augustine poignantly describes the crucifixion of Jesus Christ as a marriage between him, the bridegroom, and the church, his bride. St. Augustine goes so far as to refer to “the marriage bed of the cross.”

This crucifixion is a corporal interaction with God and his people. It is a sacrifice, a death, and a rebirth--it is everything that marriage is as we know it.

Even more mysterious is that unlike every other sacrament, marriage is a sacrament that the bride and groom confer on each other, not the priest, though he is the witness. Similarly, Jesus and the world together performed the sacramental crucifixion--witnessed and allowed by God the Father.

It is a beautiful love story with an extremely interesting meta-fictional twist. Because of this death and resurrection, we (the viewers, the readers, the audience) get to relive this day to day. It is our example for marriage, if we do it right.

So how is this cutting edge “meta” literature possible 2000 years ago? Because it is truth. The Catholic Mass is yet another example of literature in action. The Mass can be reviewed and studied as a great drama, whereas we are players in a chorus. Catholics have stood and sat and knelt and recreated this drama every hour of every day for thousands of years.

Literature is art that comments on the human condition.

When used correctly, it is a breeding ground of truth. So true things have their place there, whether or not we understand them yet. Consider, for example, that Macbeth can accurately be diagnosed with schizophrenia long before it was a recognized disease.

Even as a less avant garde read, taken at face value, the Bible is a love story, and it contains a blueprint for what love is. But it is even more than a blueprint for Catholics. It is a blueprint for love to the Catholic Church, by whose authority we receive the Bible, to all Christians who seek to follow it, and to all those of any tradition (or lack thereof) who seek to know the overarching and unifying truth of love throughout the history of humankind.

About the Author: Jesse Ross is a father of four and a proud member of the Knights of Columbus. He holds an MFA in poetry; his fiction, nonfiction, and poetry can be found in several anthologies, Spoken Bride, and McSweeney’s. He is a precious metalsmith and co-founder of the Catholic art company 31Four, artisan jewelry.

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A Catholic Jeweler Shares the Scriptural Heritage of Precious Metals in Wedding Jewelry

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JESSE ROSS

 

The average American spends an average of about $6000 on an engagement ring. As a third-generation jeweler, I designed my own wedding ring about fifteen years ago, using precious metal and diamonds, and being in the business I was able to spend considerably less than this figure.

But this isn’t about how much to spend on a ring. The reality is that your budget determines that for you. If the cost of your wedding jewelry seems steep, consider this perspective into why we should use precious metals, which are particularly significant for sacramental Catholic marriage.

In Exodus, the Lord gives Moses very specific instructions on how to create the vestments, the Tabernacle, the Ark of the Covenant, and more. The Lord’s chosen materials? Gold. Silver. Bronze. In fact, gold and silver are each mentioned approximately 200 times in the Old Testament. Similarly, wife is mentioned 228 times.

What does this mean for us? To start, it means the inherent value of certain physical materials is something that the Lord pays attention to. It is part of his vocabulary of creation.

This is because he created everything. And among those created things are the chemical elements of silver and gold. An entire star has to explode in a supernova for Him to make them! When speaking to Moses, God chooses these materials specifically and calls them by name, in Exodus. He even gave the artisan Bezalel the special talent of creating “artistic designs in gold, silver, and bronze.”

In Genesis, after Abraham’s wife Sarah died and their Isaac had yet to be married, Abraham must have experienced tremendous considering that Isaac was the son of whom God had promised countless descendants. So Abraham sent a servant to his own land in order find a wife for Isaac. The servant followed dutifully and took 10 camels to the city of Nahor.

The servant prayed to the God of Abraham:

...if I say to a young woman, ‘Please lower your jug, that I may drink,’ and she answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels, too,’ then she is the one whom you have decided upon for your servant Isaac. In this way I will know…”

Enter Rebekah, carrying a jug on her shoulder with which to draw water. The servant “ran toward her” and the prayer was answered in exactly the way he asked God to make it clear, at which point he presents her with a ring. Of course, it’s made of gold.

That’s the depth of the heritage of wedding rings in precious metal.

Deep down, we all know precious metals mean something. That some things are sacred.

A Styrofoam cup, for instance, isn’t used for a chalice during the liturgy of the Eucharist, but silver or gold. We participate in the sacrament of Eucharist regularly; it is sacred yet it is commonplace. We honor and revere this sacrament, and our choice in materials shows this. As Catholics, our marriages are first and foremost a sacrament. So similarly, our choice in wedding ring materials is an opportunity to honor and revere this everyday sacrament.

Admittedly, the cost of precious metals can certainly be a financial sacrifice. Yet marriage itself is a sacramental sacrifice. The precious metals we choose allow us a unique way in which to offer thanks and praise to God for our spouse. The metals we choose can reflect a fitting expression of our view of this sacrament.

They allow us to look at the meager 118 elements God created and choose the same precious materials he chose. To co-create alongside him something that is both old and also new, a precious symbol of love and honor and tradition. Something universally precious.

About the Author: After a consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Jesse Ross was filled with the Holy Spirit "to create artistic designs in gold, silver, and bronze," as prescribed in the Book of Exodus. He decided to leave a tenured position to follow in the footsteps of his father and grandfather as a jeweler. Jesse and his wife, Angie, are Co-Founders of 31:Four Artisan Jewelry, an all-Catholic design and manufacturing studio based in the Orlando area. They are teaching the trade to their four children, who will be fourth-generation jewelers.

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