Saints for Those Discerning Their Vocation

Need help discerning your vocation? There’s a saint for that. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: NIKAYLA & CO. AS SEEN IN HANNAH AND JOSH’S PRAYER-FILLED FALL WEDDING

One of the most incredible gifts given to us by the Church is the Communion of Saints. Those of us still on earth recognize the holy men and women beholding the face of God in heaven as our brothers and sisters, willing and able to help us on our journey. 

In moments where you feel lost or unsure, the saints can help guide your steps and bring you closer to Christ. 

For those readers still praying for clarity and courage in pursuing their vocation, here are seven saints to help you in this season of discernment. 

St. Joseph

As the earthly father of Jesus, Saint Joseph is a powerful intercessor for his spiritual children. He also demonstrated great trust in the will of God during his life, moving forward in faith even when God’s plan wasn’t entirely clear. 

Even when Joseph’s plans for his future seemed abruptly upended when the woman to whom he was betrothed was found with child, he remained open to hearing what God had in store for him. When an angel appeared to Joseph and told him to take Mary as his wife, he was obedient.

If you are struggling with trust in or obedience to God, pray to St. Joseph for help. 

St. Therese of Lisieux

Saint Therese of Lisieux, also known as the Little Flower, was a French Carmelite whose writings on the “Little Way” of holiness led her to be named a Doctor of the Church. She is quoted as saying a phrase that all Christians should hold in their mind, especially during seasons of discernment: “My vocation is Love!”

While Saint Therese had confidence in her call to the convent from a very young age, many people ask Saint Therese for help with discerning their vocations and have found their prayers are answered with a rose. 

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati 

Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati is often called “the Man of the Beatitudes” because in his 24 years on earth, he lived a life of love and service. 

Many people related to Blessed Pier Giorgio because he was an ordinary guy. He became a saint by living his ordinary Christian life well. Like so many of us, he did not have it all figured out. He did not wait for the “big decisions” to be made to begin living a life of heroic virtue and love of the poor. 

Ask Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati to help you pursue holiness and excellence in this season of life. 

Related: Readers Share | The Saints Who've Shaped Your Relationships

Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin

Parents of Saint Therese, Saints Louis and Zelie Martin modeled holiness in their call to marriage and family life. However, did you know that they both initially wanted to join the religious life?

I imagine Louis and Zelie felt a lot of sorrow and confusion upon being rejected from the orders they applied to. They might have also questioned their discernment ability; yet, when Zélie first saw Louis, she heard our Blessed Mother tell her that this was the man she was to marry. They went on to have nine children, and the five that would survive infancy went on to become nuns (and saints!). 

If you’re feeling confused or unsure in your discernment, ask Saints Louis and Zelie to help you find consolation and courage in this season. 

St. Raphael

The archangel Raphael is considered the patron saint of happy meetings (and the unofficial patron saint of those seeking a spouse). In the Book of Tobit, Raphael guides Tobit’s son Tobiah to his future wife Sarah so many people often pray to Saint Raphael to similarly lead them to their future spouse. 

Pray to St. Raphael for help finding a holy spouse if you’re called to the vocation of marriage. 

St. Ignatius of Loyola

Saint Ignatius of Loyola was the founder of the Jesuits and offers a framework for discerning God’s will through his Spiritual Exercises. 

The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius provides rules for the discernment of spirits which can help you better understand the interior movements of your soul and what God desires for your life. 

If you are looking for practical ways to pray about your vocation, consider attending an Ignatian retreat and asking St. Ignatius for guidance.

Mary, Spouse of the Holy Spirit

Vocational discernment requires an openness to the Holy Spirit, so who better to turn to than Our Lady, the Spouse of the Holy Spirit, when you are in need of help when it comes to discernment? 

Saint Louis de Monfort wrote in True Devotion: “When the Holy Spirit, her spouse, finds Mary in a soul, He hastens there and enters fully into it.” 

Turn to Mary and ask her to teach you how to open your heart up to the movement of the Spirit and how to give your “fiat” to whatever He calls you to do.

Inviting the Saints into your Wedding Day

CARISSA PLUTA

One of the greatest gifts given to us by our baptism is membership into the communion of saints. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: FIAT PHOTOGRAPHY AS SEEN IN ASHLEY AND LUKE’S LIGHT AND AIRY ROMANCE and featuring SPOKEN BRIDE VENDOR SOCK RELIGIOUS

Our heavenly brothers and sisters have walked this often crazy earthly journey, and made it to our eternal home. They are an incredible source of inspiration, encouragement, and assistance to those of us still yearning to arrive there.  

As a Catholic, you’ve probably called upon these holy men and women throughout your life, including in your relationship with your future spouse, and you may find yourself wanting to incorporate them into your wedding ceremony and reception. 

Honoring the saints on your wedding day is a meaningful way to offer them thanks and to invite their continued prayers for your marriage.

Save the date

When picking your wedding date, you might choose a day significant to your favorite saint (feast day, birthday, etc.)

Of course, this depends on where this day falls within the calendar year and on the availability at the church, but it is a beautiful reminder to call on this saint year after year for the rest of your life.

Carry them with you

There are many physical reminders of the Church Triumphant that you can seamlessly incorporate into your wedding day. You could put saint medals in your bouquet or buy saint-themed socks for the groomsmen. 

For my wedding, we borrowed first class relics of St. Therese and her parents, Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin from a friend. Not only did we hold these relics as we said our vows, but we also were able to touch our wedding bands to them making them third class relics. So now, we have a unique reminder of these holy saints that we carry with us every day.  

Pray with them

The most obvious way to honor the saints on your wedding day is through prayer. Of course, by simply having a mass, you are inviting the saints into your wedding day, as we join them in their ceaseless worship of God.

You can also invite the prayers of the saints on your special day by incorporating the litany of saints into the mass, praying (or writing your own) wedding novena to a particular saint, or including custom made holy cards for wedding favors. 

By inviting the saints into your wedding and marriage, you are opening yourself to all the grace you’ll need to one day join them in heaven. 

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About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

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Pray Together with a Family Litany of Saints

GENEVIEVE ALLEN

On your wedding day, you and your spouse become a new family. Family prayer will be important to your marriage, whether you are praying night prayer together as newlyweds or saying grace at Thanksgiving, surrounded by your grandchildren. One way to start a new tradition of prayer with your fiancé or spouse is to begin a family litany of the saints.

This can be a practice which remains with you throughout your marriage.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARY KATHERINE PHOTOGRAPHY

Start with Favorites

Who’s your favorite saint? Many Catholics have a favorite saint or two (or twenty). If you don’t have a saint BFF yet or you feel like you could use some more (and who could not?) hit up the library with your fiancé or spouse to find some books on the lives of the saints. Then take your books and a picnic to a park. Read some of the inspirational and sometimes outrageous stories to each other to find some new favorites.

Confirmation Saints

Revisiting the namesake from your confirmation can be a powerful way to know a holy person. These saints often, but not always, fall into the “favorites” category. If you don’t know your confirmation saint as well as you’d like, do some research and rest easy knowing that your saint has been interceding for you anyway.

What’s in a Name

What’s your name? What’s your spouse’s name? If it’s not a saint’s name, is it a derivative of one? Most names can be connected to a saintly counterpart, even if it’s just through meaning. If you have children, what are their names? If you don’t have children yet but have some ideas of what names you like, add those saints to your litany as a reminder to pray for your future children.

Careers and Interests

There’s a patron saint for nearly every career and for many different hobbies and interests. If you experience stress in your career, it’s worthwhile to put these patrons on your list. Even if you don’t plan to add these saints to your litany, it can be fun to know who they are.

Remember Souls Who Have Died

If a close family or friend has passed away, consider adding the saint who most reminds you of that person to your list. This is a wonderful way to remember to pray for souls.

Choose a Mary

Our Lady has so many beautiful titles. Do you or your spouse have a special devotion to one of them? Mary, our Blessed Mother, should have a place on every litany.

Once you have created your litany, ask for the intercession of your saints whenever you pray as a family. Tack it to the end of spontaneous or traditional prayers and soon it will become a lovely habit. Be flexible with your litany; there may be saints who stay on your litany for the duration of your marriage and those who will be there just for a season. Consider dedicating a small chalkboard or white board in your home to your litany of the saints. Alternatively, you could use this board as a way to feature one saint at a time, perhaps around feast days.

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About the Author: Genevieve currently practices as a lactation consultant and blogs with her sister Kat Finney for The Sister Post, a blog offering two perspectives on everything from spiritual discernment to baby gear. Genevieve and her husband Dalton began dating on the feast of St. Joseph. They have two children.

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6 Tips for Planning a Wedding Novena

KIKI HAYDEN

You know you’re Catholic when you say a novena for (almost) every occasion. If you never have before, it’s not too late to start!

Photography: Noteworthy Expressions

A novena is a prayer said over nine days, usually for a specific intention. Spending nine days in prayer is an intimate way to invite the Lord into your daily life, whether in thanksgiving or petition. Novenas can be prayed in anticipation of favorite feast days, birthdays, baptisms, holidays, and--of course--weddings. A wedding novena is a beautiful way to unite in prayer with your future spouse, your friends, and your family as you prepare to enter your vocation.

Here, a step by step process for creating a personal wedding novena.

Decide when to pray your novena.

Novena prayers are a powerful way to enter into preparation for your vocation. You can pray a novena early on, just after engagement or betrothal. Developing a habit of prayer early in your engagement keeps Jesus at the front of your mind amidst the overwhelm of wedding planning.

As other options, consider a novena in the nine days leading to your wedding, or beginning on your wedding day and lasting through your first nine days of marriage—a honeymoon novena—to establish a practice of daily prayer in your new life with your beloved.

Don’t limit yourself! My husband and I invited our friends and family to pray two novenas alongside us: one at the beginning of our betrothal, and another leading up to our wedding day. And we privately say a novena for the days leading up to each anniversary. The Lord is so generous and loves hearing our prayers.

Make a list of intentions.

This sets the tone for your novena. You might identify one intention for each day, or you could come up with a list of a few important intentions to pray throughout the nine days. Fitting intentions for your wedding might include commitment to God and one another. 

You can also include personal prayers based on your passions, hobbies, and love languages. Additionally, practical prayers, such as prayers for health for you and your family or for peace in your home, can foster trust in the Lord to provide for your needs as a couple. 

Keep your petitions open to God’s will. And of course, give thanks for the community who is praying with you!

Write a litany of saints.

Invite the angels and saints to join your novena by including a small litany. To personalize your novena, consider including your patron saints and those whose feast days fall on or near your wedding date. 

I also recommend invoking the intercession of saintly couples whose vocation inspires your own, such as Louis and Zelie Martin, or Aquila and Priscilla, as well as any personal devotions to Jesus, Mary, and favorite saints.

If anyone in your family or support network has passed away, you may want to include them in the novena litany too, as a way of intentionally inviting them into your wedding.

If you can’t decide, you can always ask “all the angels and saints” to pray for you. 

Decide who to pray with.

After identifying your time frame, intentions, and litany of the saints, decide which living friends and family members you’d like to join in your novena. Ask yourselves if you’d prefer your novena to be a private prayer for just the two of you, a group prayer with your wedding party, or a prayer open to all your guests through your wedding website and invitations. 

Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance as to whose prayers you need the most. If you do invite your guests to pray with you, consider saying the final prayer day at your rehearsal dinner or wedding reception.

Consider the religious backgrounds of your prayer warriors.

There are ways to express your Catholic faith that include your non-Catholic guests. If you are inviting Christians who are not Catholic, consider making the litany of saints optional, with an instruction like, “If you feel comfortable asking for prayers from the cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1), please pray this litany.” 

For those of other faiths, offer the option to pray to God the Father instead of to the Trinity. And for guests who aren’t religious, encourage them to think of intentions as “good thoughts” or “wishes” rather than prayers. These modifications invite non-Catholic guests into your wedding preparation and allow anyone who wishes to participate in the novena prayer. 

The Lord listens to everyone. Our non-Catholic guests expressed gratitude for being included in my husband’s and my novenas, and we really appreciated their support! No matter each guest’s background,  the Lord answered the petitions in abundance.

Pray it forward

After you’ve had the experience of writing your own beautiful and personal wedding novena, consider sharing this gift with other couples.

When friends get married, my husband and I say a novena for them using this process. I usually send a text each day telling the couple  the intention or saint of the day for their novena. 

For my non-Catholic friends, I modify the novena to meet them wherever they are in their spiritual journey (I send them nine days of “wishes/prayers”). Your friends will appreciate your support, and the Lord loves to spend time with you as you earnestly share the desires of your heart for your friends. Novena prayers are a powerful expression of love for your friends and family, your spouse, and Jesus.

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About the Author: Kiki Hayden is a freelance writer and bilingual Speech Therapist living in Texas. She is a Byzantine Catholic. She writes about how God has changed her life through speech therapy at Speaking With Kiki.

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Married Saints You Can Learn From

One of the greatest gifts from our rich Catholic tradition is the communion of Saints.

PHOTOGRAPHY: AN ENDLESS PURSUIT

Our brothers and sisters in the Church Triumphant have left behind a legacy and example we can learn from and offer their prayers for those of us still on earth. 

There are so many wonderful saints we can look toward in this vocation of marriage, who better to ask for help than couples who practice heroic virtue in their own relationships. 

Saints Anne and Joachim

Saints Anne and Joachim are the parents of the Blessed Mother and the grandparents of Jesus. 

Not much is known about Anne and Joachim but traditionally it is believed that they conceived their daughter in their old age but went on to instill in her a deep faith and love of God. 

The Church sees the parents of Mother of God as the ones who taught her how to respond to God’s request with “May it be done to me according to your word.”

Saints Elizabeth and Zacheriah

After being barren for many years and advanced in age, Elizabeth, the cousin of Mary and Zacheriah, a priest in the temple, were promised a son through the messenger Gabriel.

Their son, John the Baptist was a prophet who foretold the coming of the savior, even from within his mother’s womb. He has been called “the greatest man born of woman” and held in high esteem in the Church. 

Elizabeth and Zacheriah are exemplary models for married couples of patience and trust in God.

Related: What the Visitation can teach us about friendship

Saints Louis and Zelie Martin

The parents of St. Therese of Lisieux became the first married couple to be canonized together. 

Louis Martin and Zelie Guerin had both wanted to enter the religious life but learned that God had other plans for them. The couple had nine children, four of whom died immaturely. The remaining five daughters all went on to become Carmelite nuns. 

The Pope stated in his homily during their canonization mass: “The holy spouses Louis Martin and Marie-Azélie Guérin practiced Christian service in the family, creating day by day an environment of faith and love which nurtured the vocations of their daughters…”

Blessed Maria & Luigi Beltrame

Luigi and Maria Beltrame Quattrocchi "made a true domestic church of their family, which was open to life, to prayer, to the social apostolate, to solidarity with the poor and to friendship." 

During the Nazi invasion of Italy, their apartment remained a place of peace as they prayed the rosary together each evening and consecrated their family to the Sacred Heart. It also became a shelter for refugees. 

With Maria’s fourth pregnancy, she experienced serious complications that greatly reduced her chance of survival and was advised to abort the baby. Trusting in God, Maria and Luigi refused. All four children went on to have vocations to the priesthood or religious life. 

The couple was beatified together on October 21, 2001 by Pope John Paul II. 

Blessed Karl of Austria & Zita

Karl became the last Emperor of the Austro-Hungarian Empire during the First World War and both he and his wife, Zita were devout Catholics. On the eve of their wedding, Karl told Zita: "Now we must help each other attain heaven." 

During his reign, Karl worked to create peace within his empire made every decision with the temporal and spiritual welfare of the people in mind. And at home, Karl and Zita raised their eight children to love the Lord and to serve others. 

The couple’s hearts are enshrined together in Muri Abbey, Switzerland.

Related: Married Saint Tote from the Spoken Bride Shop

Celebrating Saint John Paul II on his Feast Day

Today is the Feast of Saint John Paul II. Through the fruits of his own intimacy with God, he became a great modern saints who continues to influence how many people know, understand, and live out the Catholic faith. His writings and teachings regarding God’s design for marriage are powerful resources for couples worldwide. 

In celebration of Pope Saint John Paul II, we invite you to reflect on some quotes about married love from our beloved heavenly friend.

PHOTOGRAPHY: AN ENDLESS PURSUIT

“Life teaches us, in effect, that love—married love—is the foundation stone of all life.” from The Love within Families

“As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.” from his Homily in Perth

“Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it.” from Redemptor Hominis

“The person who does not decide to love forever will find it very difficult to really love for even one day.” from The Love within Families

“All married life is a gift; but this becomes most evident when the spouses, in giving themselves to each other in love, bring about that encounter which makes them “one flesh.””  from Gratissimam Sane Letter to Families 

“Love consists of a commitment which limits one’s freedom-it is a giving of the self, and to give oneself means just that: to limit one’s freedom on behalf of another.”  from Love and Responsibility

“If Christian marriage can be compared to a very high mountain which places the spouses very near to God, we must acknowledge that climbing this mountain requires a lot of time and effort. But is this a reason to suppress or raze the mountain?” from his Homily in Kinshasa

Do you have a favorite quote from Saint John Paul II about marriage and family life? Share it with our community on Facebook or Instagram. 

Our Favorite Quotes on Love + Marriage

Are you in search of quotes for your wedding program, reception tables, family mission statement, or other planning elements?

Truly, the Church is a body; community. There is comfort in knowing alongside God, the saints, and faithful peers, we never walk alone. Here, to form, guide, and encourage you in your vocation, a selection of wise words on marriage and authentic spousal love.

From Scripture

This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. - Genesis 2:23

Now, not with lust, but with fidelity I take this kinswoman as my wife. Send down your mercy on me and on her, and grant that we may grow old together. - Tobit 8:7

Glory in his holy name;let hearts that seek the LORD rejoice! - Psalms 105:3

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory. For the wedding day of the Lamb* has come, his bride has made herself ready. - Revelation 19:7

For you were called for freedom, brothers. But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve one another through love. - Galatians 5:13

From the Saints

Pure love is capable of great deeds, and it is not broken by difficulty or adversity. As it remains strong in the midst of great difficulties, so too it perseveres in the toilsome and drab life of each day. - Saint Faustina

May you seek Christ, may you find Christ, may you love Christ. - Saint Josemaria Escriva

It is necessary that the heroic becomes daily and that the daily becomes heroic. - Saint Zélie Martin 

I lay my face against the Beloved's face. Everything fell away and I left myself behind, abandoning my cares among the lilies, forgotten. - Saint John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul

Love and sacrifice are closely linked, like the sun and the light. We cannot love without suffering and we cannot suffer without love. - Saint Gianna Molla, The Journey of Our Love 

From Theology

God, Who has fatherly concern for everyone, has willed that all men should constitute one family and treat one another in a spirit of brotherhood. For having been created in the image of God, Who "from one man has created the whole human race and made them live all over the face of the earth" (Acts 17:26), all men are called to one and the same goal, namely God Himself. - Gaudiam et Spes

Love alone brings a human being to full awareness of personal existence. For it is in love alone that man finds room enough to be what he is. - Dietrich von Hildebrand, Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love 

Every mystery of life has its origin in the heart. - Hans Urs von Balthasar, Heart of the World

Love between man and woman cannot be built without sacrifices and self-denial.- Karol Wojtyla, Love and Responsibility

We do not have to become saints by our own power; we have to learn how to let God make us into saints. - Jacques Philippe, In the School of the Holy Spirit

There is no greater force against evil in the world than the love of a man and woman in marriage. After the Holy Eucharist, it has a power beyond anything that we can imagine. - Cardinal Raymond Burke

From Literature

Now I have seen the most beloved music living. I have seen it with its closed eyes, its breathing body, its beating heart. I have seen the soul and mind of this music, which is you. I have seen the music open its eyes and look back at me. And in that moment there was no distance between the composer, the musician, and the one who hears the music...the future opens ahead of us a great mystery before which we can only kneel in reverence. - Michael O’Brien, Island of the World

Healing is impossible in loneliness; it is the opposite of loneliness. Conviviality is healing. To be healed we must come with all the other creatures to the feast of Creation. - Wendell Berry, The Art of the Commonplace

Love is knowing that even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again. And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves.” - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

It is love and friendship, the sanctity and celebration of our relationships, that not only support a good life, but create one. - Wallace Stegner, Crossing to Safety

To know and love one other human being is the root of all wisdom. - Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

We love sharing in your own journey and the words you live by. Share your favorite quotes on love and marriage in the comments and on Spoken Bride’s social media.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Madi Myers-Cook Photography

Readers Share | Receiving a Rose from Saint Therese of Lisieux

Today is the feast of Saint Therese of Lisieux: a Caramelite nun, a Doctor of the Church, and a saintly friend to many. Upon her death bed, Therese said, "After my death, I will let fall a shower of roses. I will spend my heaven doing good upon earth. I will raise up a mighty host of little saints. My mission is to make God loved..."

With awe and gratitude for the promises of her Little Way, we celebrate the ways Therese has showered Spoken Bride brides, couples, and women with roses--both tangible and through spiritual grace. 

If you are curious about praying a novena to Saint Therese, today would be a great day to begin offering your heart to Jesus through her Little Way.

Spoken Bride readers share their testimonies of receiving a rose, an answered prayer, from the Little Flower: 

PHOTOGRAPHY: SIMPLE HEART PHOTOGRAPHY

A Rose for Discernment 

Hapjimmy4 | The first I prayed leading up to a retreat my then boyfriend and I went on to discern if we should be married. I asked Therese for red roses if I should marry him. When we arrived we each had separate cabins. He opened the door to his and there stood a statue of St. Therese hold a huge bouquet of red roses. I almost screamed I was so excited. It was so hard restraining myself because my husband needed to learn we were to be married on his own. I shared the story with him after we were engaged. 

Teresa_likes_chocolate | Right before I started dating my fiancé I did a novena to her for clarity and discernment. I found a rose on the ground literally seconds after deciding that. We are engaged now.

Avaacatherine | She revealed my vocation to marriage through red roses.

Thesongwriterstephanie | I wanted more confirmation on the relationship I was in at the time, who is now my husband. I prayed the Novena and requested for a rose that had two colors, a white rose with red lining. I happen to finish the Novena at the start of a women's retreat with corazonpuronyc, and the Rose on my bed was exactly the one I requested--and the only one in the room of 10 that was exactly how I requested. Everyone else had red roses or yellow roses. 

Kataducci | I was in a relationship and was unsure whether to stay with the man or break up. I asked for a single rose if I was supposed to be single and multiple roses if we were supposed to stay together. My nana passed away within those nine days and the ninth day was her funeral. My mom, not knowing about the novena I was praying, handed me a single rose from her casket. She listens and provides!

Youngcaballerolife | Yes, when discerning if I was to date my now husband/ if he was to be my future spouse 

Magin5 | I was praying for guidance during a relationship. I was asking for a red rose if staying in the relationship was a good idea or a white rose if it should end. I started praying a novena to St. Thérèse and on the first day my boyfriend had sent me a picture of a book with a white rose on it. During the middle of the novena he started a conversation about the future and the relationship came to an end as we both felt this was best. On the last day of the novena I went to a wedding and our centerpiece was one single pink rose. I took this as St. Thérèse telling me that a pink rose (a mix of both) meant she was watching out for me and to trust God and He would give me peace.

Rach__marie | I prayed for pink roses when my now fiance began pursuing me to affirm our discernment. The first time we went to adoration together, on the last day of the novena, the adoration chapel had a huge bouquet of pink roses in front of Our Lord! 

Floratherese | asked for colorful roses while discerning my relationship with my husband. I saw them during winter. 

Adventureblood | I received a bouquet of roses on the last day of the novena from my boyfriend (now husband). He didn’t even know I was praying the novena! 

Chelseasliwaphotography | I asked St. Therese for a yellow rose to let me know I was with the right man. A few months later he bought me yellow roses (without having known my prayer). We broke up later on because he wasn’t Catholic and I was fearful of the issues we would have. The day after we broke up, he went to RCIA. Nine months later he entered the Church. Three months after that he asked me to marry him in a church in Mexico City and we noticed after I said yes that a single yellow rose was sitting high on the altar behind where he proposed. 

Jetsettingsrta | I prayed for my vocation. Red for married, white for religious life, and yellow for me to wait. I found 400 yellow roses on the last day. 

A Rose for Pregnancy 

Mrsthomas97 | I was married at 40. We had an ectopic pregnancy. My mother was a special friend of St. Therese and she began to pray that we would have children. We got a call from my mother-in-law overseas and said a young woman asked if my husband and I would adopt her baby. My mother started a Novena as soon as she heard about the baby. There was no assurance the mother would go through with it. The birth mother flew to our home and gave birth. Our daughter was born on October 1, St. Therese’s feast day. Three weeks later, the reliquary of St. Therese visited our parish and I took our daughter there and of course, there were roses everywhere. Seven weeks after our daughter was born, we were pregnant with twins

Hapjimmy4 | The second was if my husband and I should keep trying for a baby after some months of not being able to conceive--again asked for red roses. The last day of the novena a women named Therese, wearing a red shirt, and holding a red rose pen came to my bible study. Two weeks later our daughter “Anne Casey Therese” was conceived. Thank you, St. Therese!

Rach__marie | I prayed a novena leading up to my sister’s delivery for her and her child’s safety. She didnt share names prior to the birth, but her daughter’s middle name ended up being Rose! 

Katethibs | I prayed for clarity and peace with our miscarriage and got a white rose! 

A Spiritual Rose 

Meaghan.osborne | I have a few times! However, most of the times I have prayed her novena I haven’t received physical roses, but spiritual confirmation/an answered prayer during the Novena or shortly after. She always comes through!

Gingerjulesg | I visited her home in Lisieux. When we got out of the car I immediately smelled the strong scent of roses. My friend didn’t smell them and the closest rose bush was 75 feet away and only had a faintly sweet scent. I’m convinced the experience was a gift from the LIttle Flower herself! 

A Rose for Family

Kelly_marie_taylor | I prayed a novena to St. Thérèse in the midst of our struggles to blend our family of 6. Dating and marriage after trauma and divorce is a complicated journey, and so my request during the novena became to find unity in Christ for the seemingly broken pieces of our family. While traveling out of state, we attended Mass for the The Assumption, and the priest gathered a single rose from the altar display before he processed out of the church, handed it to our tiniest child, and said, "We do receive gifts from Heaven. Put this on your family's altar." We love you, St. Thérèse! And we love Our Lord, who unifies and strengthens unceasingly!

Jaramillomaggie | I didn’t even pray the whole novena (I intended to make it an official nine-day novena). One day I simply asked Saint Therese as I drove past the cemetery, “Can you send me a sign that my grandparents are in heaven?” When I got to the local adoration chapel there was in front of the altar a HUGE bouquet of my favorite colored roses!!! It’s like a coral color. I’ll take that as a big fat answer to my prayers. 

Jacquelinewh321 | I was asking for a rose as a sign of God's love that he loved me and for my family, because I was not feeling confident as my uncle was very sick. Since I started praying, I felt a growing sense of peace and love in my heart. When I'm with God and with my family, I felt a renewed sense of connection and understanding. It was confirmed with a snapchat of a rose, then a single rose, and then a whole bouquet on the day my novena ended.

Savannahrhea | I prayed a novena to St. Thérèse in the middle of winter when my family’s house wouldn’t sell. It had been on the market on and off for almost 4 years. We were all in a really bad place spiritually and mentally from where we were living. After the novena was over, my mom found a rose had sprouted out of the the cold, hard ground. We were amazed and our house sold that spring.

Mbdevenney | I have many stories of St. Therese's intercession! She never fails to remind me that she is near and helping! My most recent favorite was from last summer. My father had suddenly passed away and I have an association with yellow roses connected to my father. My family had gone to his favorite vacation spot 2 months after his death. I prayed to St. Therese to find my dad and send me yellow roses when she found him. I specifically asked to send them on the beach. Our second to last day, a bouquet of roses washed up on shore right in front of me with the yellow roses on top. I was in complete shock. 

Mmburckel | When my sister had mono and was super sick. I prayed and a neighbor gave us a rose bush! 

A Rose for a Personal Prayer 

Schimmoelleralyssa | I finished praying a novena to St. Thérèse while on mission with the sisters of charity in Haiti, and I received a rose and a St. Thérèse prayer card together from another man volunteering with them!

Sb_ratcliffe | St. Therese is an amazing intercessor. I’ve always requested 3 red roses. I sent prayers regarding my spouse, my university choice, small decisions, big decisions. One Christmas I decided to ask for snow in Georgia - a white Christmas. Does anyone from Georgia remember December 25, 2010? The first white Christmas in ATL since 1881! I honestly haven’t asked for anything since because it was so big, I barely believe it still! 

Sammierosecarel | I prayed for yellow roses if I was meant to move to Flagstaff for a youth minister job and white roses if I was supposed to stay in Scottsdale. She sent me yellow roses and to this day, one of my teens say I saved her life by being her youth minister in Flagstaff!

Daniellereneephotos | I prayed for a shower of roses, and I was sent roses on my surprise birthday cake, a rosary, and a bouquet of roses at the feet of my church’s statue of Mary. Incredible prayer and very humbling!

Mary_leslie_maharg_ | I haven’t done a novena to her, but I know that every single time my sister in law has done one, she has always received a rose. A few years ago, on the last day of the novena, she was praying outside of our local abortion clinic by herself on an afternoon it was closed. She wasn’t holding a sign or anything, just kneeling and silently praying. A woman pulled her car over, got out, and handed her a rose. She said the rose was to say thank you for being out there praying--she had an abortion scheduled in that building a couple years ago, but saw someone outside praying and because of that she didn’t even go inside. And then she pointed to her little boy in the back seat and said it’s because of people like her that he is alive today, and thanked her again. 

Oliviadjak | I saw red roses for 175 days after I prayed a novena to her; never heard of that happening.

Catholic_graces | I asked for her to send me roses if my dad was in heaven. One evening I was making tacos for dinner and I had a very strong smell of roses. Not trusting myself I asked my husband if he smelled something and he said yes roses. Some time later I asked her to send me roses if my husband's mom was in heaven. She sent me a visual picture of a black rose that was tipped with a beautiful blue and sparkled like diamonds. I asked my priest about this and he said that she was probably still in purgatory. Just a couple of months ago I asked her to send me roses when my mom gets to heaven and just a few days later my daughter and I were driving in my car and we both smelled the scent of roses for a good 4 minutes. She has been good to me through God's blessings.

Racejgale | I prayed for my board exam that was on her feast day. When I get home my sister had a bouquet of red roses...I passed.

Ashleyokwuosa | I was at a crossroads in my life and I needed help making a decision. So my friend told me about Saint Théresè’s novena and I prayed it. It was the best decision I ever made and it was the first time I had ever prayed a novena. I felt so blessed to have her intercede on my behalf and guide me through a difficult time in my life.

Mrseliadams07 | My husband and I have received quite a few roses from our little saint! When we were dating, we prayed her novena leading up to her feast day for our relationship and she left us a beautiful pink rose at a bar that we went to! Most recently we prayed for a job decision for my husband and asked for a specific colored rose, and when we went out to dinner that night the only open table was a table outside with a rose on it the color we asked for! She’s too good to us.

Ksulauren129 | When I was at a wedding in St. Paul in June 2016, I asked for her intercession at the cathedral. They have a small chapel for her. I specifically asked for her help for a new job and my vocation. The next day, I found her novena prayer card at a random church...asked her for yellow roses or white tulips for both intentions before my next birthday. In December of that year, I started a new job. I spotted a bouquet of roses in a church kitchen after my first week. There was also a cute boy I noticed at work. The second weekend after starting that job I saw another bouquet of yellow roses. Well, I’m marrying the cute boy in three weeks!

Denaeelenora | My fiance and I prayed this novena when we were discerning whether to have a full Mass or not at our wedding. My family is not Catholic, so I was hesitant to have the Eucharist, since it may create an obvious divide. We asked for yellow flowers if we were to have a full Mass, lilies for whatever we want because God will bless it either way, or red flowers if just the liturgy. On the 5th day we went for a walk around the reception hall and we came across a patch of yellow lilies! We felt so loved and free, it confirmed for us that we wanted a full Mass and that it would be blessed and okay for my family’s experience. 

Allygirl122 | we prayed for providence from St. Therese for a rug for our daughter’s room. The floor gets extremely cold in the winter. Someone donated a huge rug that fits perfectly in her room and it had roses all over it.

Maryhinze | I prayed for a red or white rose and received a bouquet of pink roses!

For more bridal stories involving Saint Therese’s intercession, check out this Engagement Feature and this Wedding Story.

Does your engagement or wedding story involve the intercession of a saint? Consider submitting your story to be featured on Spoken Bride.

Creative October Feast Day Celebrations for Couples

The feasts and rhythms of the liturgical year are a great gift to our faith, building in natural occasions for prayer and community. The forthcoming month of October, in particular, celebrates many Spoken Bride favorites whose lives and spiritualities resonate with the vocation to marriage.

Here, a selection of October feast days, suggestions for entering into them, and some favorite fall date ideas from the team.

October 1, Feast of Saint Therése of Lisieux

Pray: Read a passage from Therése’s autobiography, Story of a Soul, or from Fr. Jacques Phillipe’s The Way of Trust and Love: A Retreat Guided by St. Therése of Lisieux. Remembering Therése’s “Little Way,” offer the tasks and inconveniences of the day for the glory of God.

Celebrate: Therése promised to she would spend her eternity showering down roses upon the earth from heaven, and is particularly associated with the flower. Bring home a bouquet of roses for your table.

October 2, Feast of the Guardian Angels

Pray: Give thanks not only to your guardian angel, but to your beloved’s, asking that he or she be protected, fulfilled, and led closer to the Father on this day and always.

Celebrate: Make an angel hair pasta dish or angel food cake! If you and your beloved don’t have a strong education in or devotion to the angels, seek out media that can spark your knowledge. Formed, available through most parishes, offers a variety of quality video and book resources.

October 4, Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi

Pray: Franciscan orders take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Discuss and identify ways to live out these virtues in your relationship.

Celebrate: Francis was a lover of God’s creation. Go on a hike or walk together.

October 5, Feast of Saint Faustina

Pray: Read a selection from Faustina’s Diary and pray or sing the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.

Celebrate: In thanksgiving for Christ’s gift of endless mercy, plan a date night that begins with going to confession. Saint Faustina frequently described water imagery in her conversations with Jesus, calling his mercy “an ocean,” with our sin but a single, insignificant drop in comparison to his vast love and forgiveness. If you live near an ocean or lake, consider spending an afternoon or evening there.

October 7, Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary

Pray: Say a decade or more of the Rosary with your beloved. If you’re unfamiliar, research the origins of this feast day, on which Our Lady came to the aid of Christian soldiers in battle.

Celebrate: Pick out new rosaries as gifts for each other.

October 15, Feast of Saint Teresa of Jesus (Teresa of Avila)

Pray: Teresa, a great mystic and doctor of the Church, is famously depicted in a state of divine rapture in Bernini’s sculpture The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa. Meditate on the sculpture and on the nature of earthly and divine desire--this piece provides a welcome starting point.

Celebrate: Make or go out for a Spanish meal, in honor of Teresa’s heritage.

October 22, Feast of Saint John Paul II

Pray: One of the most prolific popes in recent history, John Paul’s writings illuminate the human heart. Choose a selection from his writings, including his World Youth Day addresses, Letter to Women, Letter to Artists, or the Theology of the Body Audiences, to read and discuss together.

Celebrate: John Paul was a man of many hobbies who strove to be fully alive. Spend time together engaged in one of his favorite pursuits, like theatre, hiking, or skiing.

Fall date suggestions from the Spoken Bride team:

Pumpkin picking and carving, and baking pies. - Carissa Pluta, Editor at Large

Wineries, foliage tours, or hiking. - Jiza Zito, Co-Founder & Creative Director

Apple picking, volunteering at a food shelter, or a cooking class to anticipate Thanksgiving. - Andi Compton, Business Director

Brunch and consignment shopping. - Stephanie Fries, Associate Editor

We love hearing your stories and traditions. Share your favorite liturgical living traditions and seasonal date ideas in the comments and on Spoken Bride’s social media.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Laurel Creative, seen in Jamaila + Andy | Nature-Inspired Wedding

Unveiling Mystery | Venerable Fulton Sheen on Sacramental Marriage

MARIAH MAZA

We know through the wisdom of Scripture and tradition that Christian marriage, a lifelong, indissoluble covenant between two baptized persons, is a sacrament. In the fifth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he speaks about the self-giving love of husbands and wives and how this love reflects the love of Christ for his bride, the Church. 

Through Jesus, marriage is elevated to something more profound, divine, and mysterious. At the end of Ephesians 5, Paul confirms this: “This (marital love) is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” This “great mystery” of marital love is something sacramental.

PHOTOGRAPHY: THE MANTILLA COMPANY

In fact, the origin of the word “sacrament” can be traced back to the Greek word mysterion meaning “mystery.” In return, the Latin word mysterium can be translated to mean “sacrament.” This is why, in the Byzantine Rite, the seven sacraments are referred to as the Holy Mysteries.

But these sacraments, despite being “mysterious” by their very nature, are something intended for us to enter into. The mysteries of the Church are not to remain shrouded in secret. God desires to reveal the divine beauty and reality of them to us through his grace. This element of mystery and the subsequent “unveiling” of it is especially true in marriage.

Soon-to-be-beatified Archbishop Fulton Sheen had a deep understanding of the divine mystery of sacramental marriage, despite his unmarried state in the priesthood. In his spiritual classic Three to Get Married, he writes, “great are the joys in marriage, as there is the lifting of progressive veils, until one is brought into the blazing lights of the Presence of God.” 

He wrote about four main mysteries, or “veils,” progressively lifted in marriage as a couple journeyed deeper and deeper into the sacrament: 

“In a true marriage, there is an ever-enchanting romance...First, there is the mystery of the other partner, which is body-mystery.”

Before marriage, a couple’s growing desire for intimacy manifests on multiple levels: emotional, spiritual, and physical. But until the sacrament is conferred, the ultimate expression of this desire for intimacy, for complete communion--for consummation--cannot yet be experienced. In the marriage vows, “both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh” (CCC 2364). Now the beauty of marital intimacy can be fully expressed in the spouses’ one flesh union. The first “veil” is lifted, because the beloved becomes totally known emotionally, spiritually, and physically in the sexual act of complete self-gift.

“When that mystery is solved and the first child is born, there begins a new mystery. The husband sees something in the wife he never before knew existed, namely, the beautiful mystery of motherhood. She sees a new mystery in him she never before knew existed, namely, the mystery of fatherhood.”

The Church teaches that “conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment” (CCC 2366). The mystery of sacramental marriage does not end after the wedding night, but rather grows and deepens through the fruitfulness of that consummation. 

Many times, that fruitfulness comes in the form of a child. And as a husband and wife welcome the birth of their child, an incredible transformation occurs in their hearts: the birth of their identities as mother and father. This reveals a facet of the beloved previously unknown. Spouses can delight in the unveiling of motherly and fatherly love they witness in each other with the onset of parenthood.

“As the children reach the age of reason, a third mystery unfolds, that of father-craft and mother-craft – the disciplining and training of young minds and hearts in the ways of God.”

Proverbs 22:6 admonishes parents to “train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it.” And thus, another mystery unfolds in marriage: the mystery of the “domestic church.” Husbands and wives, now mothers and fathers, take on the responsibility of spiritually forming the souls of their children. They strive in family life to imitate the Holy Family where Christ himself was born and raised. To do this, the spouses must continue to lean on the endless graces of the marriage sacrament, which, in its fruitfulness, has only grown in life and love since their wedding day.  

“As the children grow into maturity, the mystery continues to deepen, new areas of exploration open up, and the father and mother now see themselves as sculptors in the great quarry of humanity, carving living stones and fitting them together in the Temple of God, Whose Architect is Love.”

As parents watch their children grow in age and virtue, they witness the fruits of their prayers and spiritual formation. In time, patience, and trust in the Lord, spouses can hope to see their sons and daughters become saints who take their place in salvation history. 

At this point the time before children, when the “body-mystery” of their one flesh union was yet to be unveiled, is many years past. But the mysteries of sacramental marriage continue, until, in the words of Fulton Sheen, husband and wife are “brought into the blazing lights of the Presence of God,” when Heaven itself is unveiled. “The body may grow older,” says Archbishop Sheen, “but the Spirit grows younger, and love often becomes more intense.”

If you are engaged, the excitement of these unknowns becoming known is something to joyfully anticipate as your wedding day approaches. If you and your beloved are newlyweds, perhaps you have already experienced the sacred beauty that awaits behind one or two of these “veils.” May you find joy in the unending mystery of the sacrament and strength in the graces God desires to lavish on you and your beloved.

Venerable Fulton Sheen, pray for us, for all engaged couples preparing for marriage, and for newlyweds just beginning to unveil the mysteries of the sacrament.

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About the Author: Mariah Maza is Spoken Bride’s Features Editor. She is the co-founder of Joans in the Desert, a blog for bookish and creative Catholic women. Read more

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5 Saint Thérèse Quotes to Help You Live the “Little Way” in Marriage

What could a cloistered Carmelite nun who lived in the 1800s and died at the young age of 24 teach anyone about marriage—especially marriage in the 21st century?

If you look at marriage through a purely secular lens, as a civilly-sanctioned union between two consenting parties who share great feelings of affection—and tax benefits—then not much.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Mackenzie Reiter Photography

But for Christians, marriage is so much more. And through the Catholic sacrament of matrimony, two individuals become a living sacrament.

There is a spiritual reality in the spousal union that knits souls together for life, “God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife], and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

There is unique marital grace that God reserves for those living the sacrament, and there is a mission given to the spouses that transcends time: help each other become the saints you are called to be. Walk with each other to Heaven. Cultivate your family as a ‘domestic church’ that overflows with life, love, grace, and Christ.

But what does marriage have to do with a young Carmelite nun?

Her name was Thérèse Martin—a young, fifteen-year-old girl who petitioned the Holy Father to enter Carmel; her plea was granted. During her remainder of her life in the French convent, Thérèse adopted a philosophy and a spirituality that reflected her own “little soul.” It was a way of simplicity, sacrifice, and, ultimately, love.

In 1997, she was officially declared a Doctor of the Church by Pope John Paul II. In her much-loved autobiography, Story of a Soul, she writes, “overcome by joy, I cried, 'Jesus, my love. At last I have found my vocation. My vocation is love!’” Saint Thérèse’s spirituality, her most enduring legacy, is affectionately known as the “Little Way:” a simple and direct path to Heaven. Although written by a young nun who never married, this spirituality is a beautiful rule of life for the married home. Through her own words, we learn the little way as a guide for our own vocations to love, through the vocation to marriage.

“My whole strength lies in prayer and sacrifice, these are my invincible arms; they can move hearts far better than words, I know it by experience.”

Saint Thérèse’s religious life revolved around constant prayer and sacrifice, especially little daily sacrifices like cleaning dishes or helping other sisters in need (especially those she found to be the most difficult). How strong marriages would be if each spouse filled every day with tiny sacrifices and deaths to self, each offered as a little prayer of love to Jesus!

“Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice,” she admonishes. “Here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right thing and doing it all for love.”

When you begin a burdensome chore, do it joyfully; offer up the urge to complain as a small sacrifice for your beloved and for Christ. Your joyful “yes” to making the bed each morning becomes a small fulfillment of the call to your vocation of married life. Each little labor becomes a prayer. After all, “when one loves,” Saint Thérèse says, “one does not calculate.”

“I know now that true charity consists in bearing all our neighbors' defects—not being surprised at their weakness, but edified at their smallest virtues.”

Is there anything about your spouse that drives you nuts? When you attend confession, do you feel like you could do their examination of conscience for them?

“How could he leave his clothes on the floor by the bed again? Haven’t I asked him ten times not to do that?” St. Thérèse’s little way notices faults of others through a different lens. The bad habits in your spouse, and in yourself, do not change easily or quickly; that’s the nature of a habit.

When your spouse does something that annoys you, again, refrain from acting shocked. Expect a healthy amount of imperfection or inconsistency from your spouse, and reflect, instead, on even his smallest virtues.

This minor shift in perspective curbs disappointment and hurt of failed expectations. Choose joy. Choose to notice the strengths of your spouse that made you fall in love with them in the first place. There may be profound suffering in marriage, but, as Thérèse says, “It's true, I suffer a great deal—but do I suffer well? That is the question.”

“I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lessen the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all the lowly flowers wished to be roses, nature would no longer be enamelled with lovely hues. And so it is in the world of souls, Our Lord's living garden.”

Do you ever look at another wife and wish you could be as good as her? Her beauty, her talents, her home, and even her marriage seem better than yours.

Envy destroys souls and marriages. But confident humility and gratitude for the gifts and beauty in your life destroy envy. Saint Thérèse wisely notes the perfect beauty of every person’s unique soul and vocation in God’s “living garden.”

“If a little flower could speak,” she explains, “it seems to me that it would tell us quite simply all that God has done for it, without hiding any of its gifts. It would not, under the pretext of humility, say that it was not pretty, or that it had not a sweet scent...if it knew that such were not the case.”

Make a list of all the little things that bring you gratitude about your spouse and the life you share together. Present these things with love to the Lord and praise him for crafting you as the beautiful flower you are. “Holiness (and happiness) consists simply in doing God's will, and being just what God wants us to be,” Thérèse says.

Another woman may have been created as a rose, but your life as the simple daisy adds necessary color and beauty to God’s garden.  

“God would never inspire me with desires which cannot be realized; so in spite of my littleness, I can hope to be a saint.”

In one of the most courageous sentences she ever wrote, St. Thérèse confidently hopes in her own sanctity, despite being acutely aware of her weaknesses and faults. She knows that her vocation is love, so “without love, deeds, even the most brilliant, count as nothing.” It is not always the grandeur of holy actions that make a saint, but the grandeur of love in every little action.

On your wedding day, you vowed to love your spouse “until death do us part.” Only then is your vocation complete, when you and your beloved enter eternal life as saints who helped each other through a lifetime of growing in sanctity.

In your own littleness, do not despair. Ask God for the theological virtue of hope to thrive in your marriage. Trust that your desire for sanctity in your vocation is never in vain.

In spite of your faults, in spite of the flaws of your spouse, in spite of the imperfections of your marriage, you can always, confidently, hope to become a saint. Walk the little way of simplicity, sacrifice, and love. Grow through the graces of marriage and the deep, abiding love of God—just like a little French nun who became a Doctor of the Church.

St. Thérèse of Lisieux, pray for us!

The Feast of St. Joseph | A Fellow Human, A Saintly Spouse

STEPHANIE FRIES

Today is the feast day of St. Joseph: foster father of Jesus, spouse of Mary and head of the holy family. He was a carpenter, he was a man.

When we look to Joseph, we see a man who surrendered himself to the direction from an angel in his dreams. We read how he obeyed the command of God, loved and served Mary as his chaste spouse, and raised Jesus, the son of God, as his own earthly son.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARY KATHERINE PHOTOGRAPHY

Have you ever imagined when Mary and Joseph lost Jesus in the caravan, only to find him days later, preaching to adult men in the temple? My heart goes out to Joseph. The parameters of his mission were simple: love, protect, and guide Jesus and Mary. All in all, through obedience and grace, Joseph fulfilled his calling. But in this experience of losing Jesus and consoling Mary, I imagine Joseph was tempted to worry and despair.

Years later, Joseph died when Jesus was 30-years-old, on the brink of his public ministry. I picture Joseph lying on his deathbed, preparing to part from his earthly life. Joseph must have felt both sorrow and joy as he left his family with anticipation for his son’s powerful mission. I imagine the deep sadness of Jesus and Mary who said goodbye to their beloved.

Reflecting on the stories of Joseph bring his humble holiness to a human reality.

As we gaze at Joseph in statues and paintings, recall stories of him in Scripture or reach out to him in prayer, we encounter a friend. He is so approachable; a human man who intimately encountered the divine every day. This man who we rightfully honor with holy veneration was conceived with original sin. He was as human as me and you.

In the vocation to married life, we are sacramentally offered good and holy gifts such as intimacy, vulnerability, and companionship. Receiving and living out these gifts can often send individuals and couples to the heights of love, or can expose a raw wound of human brokenness. Perhaps in a moment of insecurity we believe, “I am not enough.” In the midst of an argument we fear abandonment. In prolonged frustration and anxiety, we despair and lose trust in God’s providence.

It may be easy to admire an icon of Joseph, Mary and Jesus and assume the immense joy in their family life. Amidst the celebration of such pure trinitarian love of the family, I hope against hope that there were days Joseph wished he could love Mary better. Or days when he was disappointed by how he received Mary’s perfect love. Joseph’s imperfections are the only stains of sin in the holy family, yet his entire being—holiness and imperfection combined—was destined for his specific vocation.

Through both his human imperfection and pure intention, God empowered Joseph to love Mary, show Jesus about the love between a husband and a wife, and receive love from his family. In the same way, we are each called to be fully present with God in our unique vocation, to love with virtue despite our own shortcomings.

God has so carefully woven two lives together in your marriage. On the days when your sinful, selfish, or short-sighted human nature is too much to bear, remember goodwill and purity of heart are enough for love. In striving to love and be loved, moments which expose brokenness do not define a limit for love. Rater, these moments help us identify where grace and mercy can provide healing. Joseph’s example offers peace and encouragement to every person, for our hearts to become a channel for God’s love to shine through.

St. Therese of Lisieux offers encouragement to little souls, to those who recognize their long journey to perfection, “Agree to stumble at every step therefore, even to fall, to carry your cross weakly, to love your helplessness. Your soul will draw more profit from it than if, carried by grace, you would accomplish with enthusiasm heroic actions that would fill your soul with personal satisfaction and pride.”

You are human. Joseph was human. If he could fulfill his vocation to the Holy Family, you can fulfill your vocation in your own holy family. You were created for a mission exactly where you are. As you bring your completely human heart to God, you will grow—with an ever-deepening purity of heart—in the capacity to love and be loved.

St. Joseph, you sought to bring glory to God in every action and word. Together with your pure heart, Mary’s Immaculate heart, and Jesus’ Sacred heart, guide me to embrace my human imperfection with humility so that I may receive God’s mercy and grow ever more deeply into the virtue of my vocation. St. Joseph, foster father of Jesus, pray for us.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. Stephanie’s perfect day would consist of a slow morning and quality time with her husband, Geoff, a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal (…with dessert). Read more

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3 Tangible Ways to Include the Saints in Your Wedding Day

CLARA DAVISON

For as long as I can remember, saints and their stories have played a huge part in my spiritual life.

Photography: Jen Harkleroad Photography, seen in Emily + John | Classic Virginia Wedding

As a child, I loved learning about Saint Fransisco, Blessed Imelda, and other children who achieved holiness at a young age. In my teenage years, Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, Saint Dominic Savio, and Blessed Chiara Badano began inspiring me. Learning about holy men and women who related to my current stage in life strengthened and encouraged me on my spiritual journey.

Once engaged, I began considering ways to incorporate the saints into my wedding. They have been alongside me through every part of my life, and I wanted to include them as I entered this vocation. Here, three ways I have seen the saints’ intercession incorporated in Catholic weddings:

Wedding bouquet medals

During my engagement, I asked friends and family to pray for us in the weeks leading up to the wedding. I may have tentatively suggested--or not so tentatively, as my siblings tell me--that they ask the intercession of specific saints on my husband’s and my behalf. I then invited my prayer warriors to bring a medal of their specific saint to the wedding and tie it onto my bouquet before I walked down the aisle.

I can’t tell you how touching it was to receive so many medals on my wedding day and to feel the weight of my bouquet carrying the symbols of many prayers. Since the bouquet was too large to preserve, it became especially significant to have those medals long after the flowers and greenery faded.

Stories of married saints

As I planned my wedding, I began seeking out saints who were called to the vocation of marriage: Saints Gianna Molla, Elizabeth Ann Seton, and Jane Frances de Chantal just scratch the surface of many amazing married women. I found it incredibly powerful to study the lives of Catholic wives who lived out their vocation with such holiness.

I also learned of many married couples who are both saints! While Joseph and Mary are the epitome of a holy marriage, there are a variety of others to learn from: Saints Louis and Zelie Martin, Joachim and Anne, and Blessed Charles of Austria and his wife, Servant of God Zita, are just a few from whom I drew inspiration. Learning about these holy relationships is a great way to reflect on your hopes for your own marriage.

Litany of the Saints

When picking Mass music, my friend chose the Litany of the Saints to be sung while grandparents, parents, and bridesmaids walked down the aisle. She and her fiancé were able to pick some of their favorite saints to include in the litany, making it particularly personal. While not a traditional piece for a wedding, I found it a beautiful testimony to watch the couple’s closest friends and family escorted down the aisle as their closest friends in Heaven were called on to intercede.

Our brothers and sisters in heaven are such a wonderful aspect of the Catholic faith. What are ways you have seen them included in weddings?

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About the Author: Clara Davison has worked as a whitewater raft guide, sex trafficking researcher, U.K. Parliament researcher, swim coach, and freelance writer. She currently works in independent school advancement and lives with her husband in North Carolina.   

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Let Something New Pursue Your Heart This Year.

STEPHANIE CALIS

You know the ones. The quotable movie lines, the Top 40 songs, the recent Apple launches you’re vaguely aware of and just nod along with when they come up, never having exactly experienced them yourself. Does this ever happen in your spiritual life, as well--a feeling that one day you should get around to a deeper look at some of the Church’s rich offerings you’ve only ever sort of known about?

As this new year unfolds, this opportunity to encounter the Lord in a new way, I encourage you to dive into a piece of spiritual reading or the life a particular saint, perhaps one you’ve long intended to get acquainted with, and let it lead your heart where it will.

Photography: Zélie Veils

For me, this happened with the writings of John Paul II. Growing up, I loved the idea of love, thanks to a steady diet of Disney magic and romantic comedies. My high school youth minister occasionally mentioned the Theology of the Body and its powerful message, yet I put away the basic catechesis on a mental shelf, not considering it compelling or relevant to my current life.

Fast forward to college, and I realized my younger self’s concept of romance was little more than infatuation when compared to what it could really be. Saint Pope John Paul II introduced me to another view, and I fell in love with love for real.

Along with my boyfriend at the time, I attended a summer retreat in Allenspark, Colorado, where the Pope stayed when he came to Denver for World Youth Day in 1993. On the outside, much about our relationship looked happy and holy. Yet my heart had never experienced deeper unrest, in everything from physical boundaries to problem-solving to the voice I could never quite silence; the one that questioned whether even sacrificial love should feel like a constant weight.

That relationship wasn’t meant to be, but I’m certain the Father’s hand led me to that holy ground in the Rockies. There, I was introduced for the first time to Love and Responsibility, the book on sexual ethics and human dignity that John Paul wrote during his years as a cardinal. The person, he wrote, is meant to be loved, and things are meant to be used, yet so often we get it backwards. His observations on romance, sacrifice, and the ways we stumble in them were like reading a narrative of my relationship.  As I came to see it was built on sand, I grew aware of a hunger, an ache, I hadn’t even realized dwelled in my soul. It was a longing for authentic love, rooted in truth.

Months passed before I had the courage to end that relationship. All the while, though, I just couldn’t--and didn’t--want to put out that fire the Pope had lit in my heart. I started reading all I could about his take on love, sexuality, and chastity. It felt like putting on glasses I hadn’t known I needed. Here were the eternal, ancient truths of the Church, spoken in a language so immediate and insistent, so suited to the current culture and my own life. In my relationship, I’d been hiding so much from myself, my friends, and God. I was ready to become more fully alive; to take off the masks. One of JPII’s personal mottos, duc in altum, calls upon Jesus’ exhortation to “put out into the deep.”

A few years later, recently engaged, I found myself on a Theology of the Body retreat with my coworkers. I was familiar with the Pope’s series of audiences on creation, salvation, and the nuptial intimacy found in each vocation from a college study group, but had never delved deeply in.

For the second time in my life, everything I thought I knew about love fell away, replaced with John Paul’s blazingly beautiful vision of the human person; of love as a complete and unrestrained gift of self. His words were literally life-giving, and awakened in me a desire to live out that self-gift in all of my relationships, most especially in the one I’d have with my husband-to-be: the relationship that would sanctify me and bring me to Christ. I felt remade under this new lens.

Encountering this great saint’s writings and principles painted for me the clearest, most whole, most hopeful vision of who we, as humans, are: beloved daughters and sons; a revelation of the Father’s great love. His words have shown me to myself.

What about you? It’s become apparent in my personal prayer life that certain verses, prayers, and saints have seemingly chosen and pursued me at the times I most needed them. Some of those invitations have been whispers: constant, repeated mentions of a certain prayer, book, or person over months or years. And some have been shouts: instances where intercession and answered prayers ring clear and true. Who are the holy men and women who’ve been knocking at--or, alternatively, crashing through--the door of your heart lately?

Sit in the quiet and observe if any particular saints or writings surface. Consider whether any individuals, devotions, or books have been recommended to you more than once, from more than one person. Or perhaps there’s a particular aspect of the Catholic faith you’ve always wanted to dive into. As a new year unfolds, I sense an expanse of open space in my soul; a decluttered state of thirst. I desire to be filled. Satisfied. May my heart--and yours--find newness, discovery, and a deeper intimacy with Christ in these coming months.

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Embracing the Seasons of Preparation

STEPHANIE FRIES

Within this Advent season of preparation and pause, I consider seasons of my personal life when we must wait, practice patience, and enter into the longing for more.

I was recently reflecting back on an old journal I kept during my engagement and found an excerpt I copied from the book Letters of St. Therese, Volume 1. This letter, in particular, was written to St. Therese of Lisieux from Sr. Agnes on November 8, 1887. At the time, St. Therese is longing to profess her vows and enter Carmel; she wants what she wants when she wants it, and is tested by the ache of passing time.

Even the saints agonized through delayed gratification!

Sr. Agnes writes, “To suffer a little before the nuptials is not asking too much! In order to enter the House of the heavenly spouse, you must have some trials, you must knock several times, you must weep, knock, and weep again.”

Whew! Is Sr. Agnes writing to Therese or to me? Therese, like any young, modern, engaged woman, is betrothed to her love. Vocational details aside, the ache of her heart is the shared experience of a woman in pursuit of a covenant to love.

Sr. Agnes continues, “Then there will come a moment when the door will finally open, and what has opened the door if not desire, suffering, and love?”

It is precisely the ache, suffering, and perseverance for love that births new life of a new covenant.

“In order to merit the suffering of the cloister, you must bear the suffering of waiting.”

Sr. Agnes affirms that the suffering of waiting yields to the suffering of love. In other words, she affirms that professing I do at the altar is not a promise to be free of longing or to be perpetually filled with joy, but the vows are a commitment to serve another unto our own death. As we gaze at the crucifix, we are affirmed that there is no love without suffering.

“Oh, darling little dove, courage, the flood will pass away, soon the window will open and you will escape into the desert, into the oasis of Carmel."

The end of waiting for a new vocation is promised a relief. Yet, that joyful yes of a covenant is fulfilled in the suffering for another. This oasis embraces the tension between having what we desired and beginning again at our heart’s longing for more. There’s always more.

Whether you are dating and waiting for a proposal, engaged and aching for your wedding day, temporarily separated across a distance from your beloved, or experiencing another longing of the heart, God teaches us--as he taught the saints--to embrace the suffering of the season. Have courage. The door will open by the force of suffering for love. And what’s on the other side but an oasis; whatever that oasis may look like for you, it is from God and it will be good.

It is not uncommon for God to deliver us to circumstances that stretch our patience and test our perseverance, both in our personal lives and in the liturgical seasons.

Like the time of engagement, the liturgy of Advent is about expecting and awaiting a union with the beloved; preparing our hearts and our homes for a new life in a new relationship. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches, “By sharing in the long preparation for the Savior’s first coming, the faithful renew their ardent desire for his second coming. By celebrating the precursor’s birth and martyrdom, the Church unites herself to his desire: He must increase, but I must decrease” (524).

Waiting through Advent teaches us to decrease ourselves in order to create space for Christ. Waiting throughout our lives invites us to decrease ourselves in order to create space for our beloved.

This time of longing is not only about being patient, but also about surrendering ourselves to prepare for more love. Have courage in your love, in your suffering--you are promised an oasis.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband, Geoff, a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal (…with dessert). Read more

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Readers Share | The Saints Who've Shaped Your Relationships

This week as the Church celebrates the dead, the communion of saints, and all souls in Purgatory on All Hallow’s Eve, All Saints Day, and All Souls Day, respectively, we invited you to share the holy men and women who’ve interceded in your spiritual lives and relationships on our social media.

For inviting us and others into your deep joy, for fostering hope in God’s faithfulness in women still awaiting their love story, for witnessing to abandon and reckless trust in the Father, thank you. Your responses were too many to list in a single post--let alone to list every woman who cited Our Lady, Saints Therese, John Paul II, or Louis and Zelie Martin as favorite patrons! We read every single one and find each so uniquely, personally beautiful.

Here, a selection of your stories of saintly intercession:

St Gemma - for many reasons! My husband is a pharmacist, I was seeking employment when we were first married and we both recently lost our fathers. She’s the patron saint of: Pharmacists, children who have lost parents and those seeking employment! - Danielle

Blessed Emperor Karl of Austria and his wife, Servant of God, Empress Zita. They were a beautiful Catholic married couple and have been a great role model for our marriage. - @danielleduet

St. Michael the Archangel. His battle courage was inspiring to me, and helped me in my own spiritual warfare. Like St. Michael, I was able to cast my own demons out. - @_desirita_

St. Therese and St. Zelie Martin. I’ve struggled with finding and being content in my vocation, and through their intercession have received many graces. - @thebrownebunch

St. Raphael. I met my soon-to-be fiancé through Catholic Match and Raphael's intercession throughout our relationship has been so influential. He's the patron saint of their website and the hero of our relationship. - @violetsheabee

St. Therese has had (and continues to have) a profound impact on how myself in relationship with my fiancé. Long distance has required a lot of humility and trust on both of our parts, and I've leaned on her Little Way to help me do small things that benefit our relationship with each other and with God. - @meganboes

St. Joseph! The St. Joseph novena played a big role in both our individual discernment journeys. As a couple, any time we have a difficult situation and don't know what to pray for, we say his novena, and always receive exactly what we need, and then some! Plus, all the men in my family have Joseph as their middle name, and so does my husband! - @acrgripshover

Our Lady of Angels. - @i.marie.daly

St. Anthony. - @vegan_wannabe_81

I got engaged on the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, by the grace of God and through the intercession of St. Joseph, Mama Mary, and St. Anne. - @meganaosborn

St. Thomas More, Mother Mary and St. Joseph. - @marie_xavier_felix

St. Maria Goretti. - @paigealexandrahussey

St. Therese, St. Faustina, and the Holy Family! -@becca_from_texas

St. Josemaria Escriva. - @akeeshers

St. Therese of Lisieux and St. Cecilia! My senior year of college, while my husband and I were still dating, I felt a call to a religious vocation. I was so confused about it so I prayed countless novenas to Therese--I didn’t hear an immediate response, but I eventually did. That spring break, some girlfriends and I drove to Nashville for a retreat with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia (Cecilia is one of my faves because I’m a musician). While I loved it there, I felt a peace within my heart that I was called to marriage. Two years later, my husband proposed. - @josieweisenberger

St. Gianna Molla and her husband, Pietro! We named our first born after her! - @thetinymangia

Our Lady and St. Louis de Montfort. - @maddy__anne__

St. Joseph! My parents did a novena to St Joseph to pray for a husband for me and weeks into the novena, [my future spouse] came along! And we got engaged on May 1, the Feast of St Joseph the Worker. - @rachelgmz

St. Therese of Lisieux! Ever since I was a young girl, I have been praying novenas to her in the hopes of finding my future husband. She is my patron saint, and my fiancé's favorite. We asked her special intercession for our relationship on a recent trip to the National Shrine in DC, and he proposed on her feast day this year, along with a beautiful white rose! - @whateverisgracious

Our guardian angels! - @ann.elissa

St. Ignatius of Loyola. My husband and I would pray his Prayer for Generosity while we were dating and it was a constant reminder to serve the other person. - @jessie.dupre

St. Elia. - @soulachreim

St. Monica, St. Anne, and St.  Michael...mother Mary above all. - @scenescerity.images

St. Jude. I began his novena and on the last day saw [my future husband] Wesley, and knew I should see where things went with him. After that we have prayed to him every night and I began seeing St. Jude everywhere. Now, Wesley and I are getting married [this fall] (2 years after I began my novena)! - @rach_whalen

Our Lady Undoer of Knots, Saint Joseph, Saint Anne, Saint Anthony, Saint Michael, Saint Jude Thaddeus, Saint Raphael, and Saint Dymphna. I keep adding them! - @edna_songz

Saint Veronica. She has inspired me to wipe my husband’s face as he carries his crosses. She reminded me what we are called to do as brothers and sisters in Christ and had a profound role in shaping our relationship. - @brittbritt_ottens

Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin, St. Therese’s parents. The man who is courting me and I had to go two months without seeing each other when we began our relationship. He sent me a talk about sanctification in marriage, which focused on their lives; since then, we have continuously asked for their intercession as we discern marriage! They have become a major influence for me and we are thankful to have another beautiful couple to look up to! - @alynacampero

Saint Therese of Lisieux; she is always reminding us to give ourselves fully to each other and to never seek anything in return. She teaches us how (in Story of a Soul) to live life in a way that strives for selfless love and complete humility. And her parents guide us in how we will want to raise our kids someday. - @maddie7548

To each of you who responded to or have been moved by this question and its answers, we are grateful. If you have suggestions for future reader-sourced topics, be sure to share them with us for consideration!

Images by Lionhearted Photography, seen in Amy + Jake | Midwinter Mountain Wedding

Saint Monica: A Sister for Brides Who Are Suffering

JIZA ZITO

Social media makes it too easy to fall into the trap of believing how a marriage--and life in general--should appear. We scroll through our feeds seeing perfectly curated images of smiling faces and sweet captions. Everyone’s lives appear blissful.

Photo by Gades Photography

What if you came across the account of a woman whom you learned had an unfaithful husband, an abusive mother-in-law, a promiscuous son, and a grandchild born out of wedlock? What if you knew she was a former alcoholic, or that she cried daily over her husband and son? Would you consider her overly dramatic if you heard she followed that same son to a different country when he ran away?

This is all part of Saint Monica’s story.

Monica is popularly known as the mother of Saint Augustine of Hippo. She is the patron saint of difficult marriages, wayward children, victims of adultery or unfaithfulness, victims of verbal abuse, and the conversion of relatives. Born in 332 AD in Thaghaste, now present day Souk Ahraus, Algeria, she was raised by Christian parents. But as a young adult, she was married off to Patricius, a Roman pagan and city official.

She suffered greatly throughout her marriage. However, she remained steadfast in prayer and was considered a pious woman. Despite his mistreatment of her and his disdain for her prayer life, it is said Patricius still admired his wife. Many women in the city sought out Monica’s advice and friendship if they also experienced mistreatment by their husbands.

God provided Monica great consolation. He answered her many years of prayer when she witnessed her husband convert to Christianity a year before his death, followed by Augustine’s conversion years later, with the help of Saint Ambrose. Augustine went on to be a priest and bishop. His numerous writings have significantly influenced both the Catholic Church and Western Civilization; today we know him as a Doctor of the Church.

While all of us may not be in Monica’s exact circumstances, that doesn’t void our lives from seasons of great suffering.

When we first say our wedding vows, it is by God’s mercy that he does not fully reveal what trials we will endure throughout our vocation. If we knew how many tears we might shed--much like Saint Monica--over the course of our marriages, we might despair or walk away in fear.

If we are afflicted by a loved one or find ourselves in a time of desolation, it can feel incredibly lonely and unfair. We can only imagine there were many times the cross felt extremely heavy and burdensome for Saint Monica, as well. If there is something the life of this woman can teach us, it is this: we are not alone, and God hears our prayers.

With great dedication to the salvation of her loved ones, she persevered in the hope of knowing that he would bring about the graces of healing and conversion. At any point, Monica could have just quit her prayers and given them no more thought. But she did not.

Because of her perseverance, her husband and son not only found Christ, but Monica’s intercession bore the  gift of Saint Augustine and the work he did for God’s Church. Saint Monica teaches us that if we keep our eyes focused on Jesus, our cries will not be vain. Our prayers will ultimately bear fruit.

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Litany of Saint Monica

Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us. Christ, graciously hear us. / God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us. / God, the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us. / God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us. / Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us. / Holy Mary, conceived without stain of original sin, pray for us and for our children. / Holy Mary, glorious Mother of Jesus Christ, pray for us and for our children.

Saint Monica, pray for us and for our children. / Model of wives, pray for us and for our children. / You who converted your unbelieving husband, Mother of Saint Augustine, pray for us and for our children. / Strict and prudent teacher, guardian of your son in all his ways, pray for us and for our children. / You who carefully watched over his conduct, pray for us and for our children. / You who were sorely distressed at his erring from the right, pray for us and for our children. / You who were untiring in your petitions for his soul’s safety, pray for us and for our children. / You who still hoped on amid the bitterness of your heart and your floods of tears, pray for us and for our children. / You who were filled with consolation upon his return to God, pray for us and for our children. / You who died calmly after faithfully fulfilling your duties, pray for us and for our children. / You who are the prayerful intercessor of all mothers who pray and weep as you did, pray for us and for our children.

Preserve the innocence of our children, we beseech you, Saint Monica. / Protect them against the deceits of evil men, we beseech you, Saint Monica. / Protect them from the dangers of bad example, we beseech you, Saint Monica.

Watch over the movements of grace in their hearts. Let the Christian virtues strike deep root in their hearts and bear much fruit. Redouble your intercession for youth approaching manhood. Obtain for all in mortal sin true contrition and perfect conversion. Obtain for all mothers to fulfill their duties steadily and perseveringly.

Commend all mothers to the protection of the ever-blessed Virgin Mother of Our Lord. Favorably incline the heart of your beloved son Augustine to the salvation of our children.

Saint Augustine, holy son of a saintly mother, pray for us and for our children. / Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord! / Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord! / Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us, O Lord!

Pray for us, O holy Saint Monica, that we may be worthy of the promises of Christ.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

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About the Author: Jiza Zito is Spoken Bride's Creative Director and Co-Founder. She is the owner and wedding photographer of Olive & Cypress. Read more

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