Bridget + KC | Traditional Christmas Octave Wedding

During a carpool to a retreat at a dinnertime pit stop, Bridget and KC met in a Wendy's checkout line as sophomores in college.

During the retreat, they bonded over The Food Network, dishwashing, and prayer. These conversations sparked a wonderful friendship. They looked forward to running into each other at their St. Paul University Catholic Center, and KC walked Bridget to her car each evening to make sure she was safe.

One afternoon after daily Mass, KC asked her on a date. Bridget thought about how much she appreciated him asking in person, and specifically "on a date" before enthusiastically saying yes. They went to a pumpkin patch and corn maze and were amazed to spend six hours together without a single lull in conversation.

After some prayer and discernment, they officially started dating a few weeks later.

From the Bride: For the next two years our “ongoing date” was trying to visit as many churches as we could. At each location we prayed in, we picked up a rock from outside the church and numbered it. Looking back on these rocks, we like to think about the churches and the prayers they represent. They are the rocks we have built our relationship with, like the reflection in Matthew 7.

During this time, I was able to spend two weeks visiting KC while he studied abroad. We went to Italy for Holy Week and spent Good Friday in Assisi. We even attended the Easter Vigil in St Peter's. Being in Rome for Easter was such an amazing opportunity for prayer, joy, and discernment for our relationship’s future.

While we were long-distance, we also scheduled holy hours together, taking into account the time difference, so that we could still pray together. Being united in prayer made the distance more bearable.

KC proposed in September 2016 at St Mary’s of Pine Bluff church. The proposal was at the end of a scavenger hunt for letters that each included a puzzle piece. When I found him in front of the altar he said, "I think you have some puzzle pieces. We work best together as a team, will you help me put it together?"

The puzzle read "Will you marry me?" and KC asked me, "Bridget, would you do me the honor of allowing me to love you into heaven?" I obviously said "yes!”

Our engagement seemed like a long one, but the whole time it was apparent that Christ was still working on our hearts and helping us to become better versions of ourselves so we could be the best spouses for each other. Every aspect of our marriage prep highlighted areas we still needed to grow personally and spiritually. We named Sts. Francis and Claire patrons of our engagement.

Planning a wedding together was so much fun, and I was very excited to have KC's enthusiastic help in the process, especially with the nuptial Mass.

Our main goal and theme of our Mass was "verso l'alto" (an Italian phrase made famous by Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati that means “to the top” or “towards the heights”). We wanted everything to point to Christ and to give glory to God.

When meeting with our main celebrant, Fr. Eric Sternberg, he asked us, "What is our goal here? Have a beautiful Mass and a fun party, or knock everyone’s socks off by being a tool of evangelization and praise the Most High God?" We laughed a little, not really seeing the difference, and said "both?" He chuckled a little and responded, "right answer, I am so excited."

We knew we were lucky to be married at St. Paul’s, the university chapel where our relationship began and grew. Additionally, we told Fr. Eric the more smells, bells, and gold we could incorporate, the better. Our wedding was planned to take place within the octave of Christmas, so why not? Not only were we receiving a sacrament, we were also celebrating Christ's birth!

My family has been blessed to have many priest friends, several of whom are godfathers to my siblings, so naturally they had to be included in the Mass. The total number of celebrants came to seven, plus a deacon. We had hoped to have Bishop Morlino there too, a good friend of my family, but we were not able to extend an invitation before his passing in November. Our Mass was served by several seminarian friends and two of my brothers.  

KC and I wanted to make sure there was a lot of symbolism and tradition in the Mass, even if only the two of us noticed or knew about it.

For example, both of our rings are custom-made. KC’s ring was crafted with a band of gold from his mom's old wedding ring and set between two bands of silver from her purity ring. His growth and spiritual life was kindled by his mother. Now it is my responsibility to support and care for him in this vocation.

My engagement ring has his mom's diamond from her same old wedding band, and my wedding band has fifteen tiny diamonds that I associate with a number of spiritual references: the fifteen prayers of St Bridget, my patron saint, the fifteen original mysteries of the rosary, and the fourteen stations of the cross, plus the resurrection.

My bridal colors we also chosen for religious symbolism: burgundy for the bridesmaids’ dresses and groomsmen's ties with gold as an accent. Not only was our wedding within the octave of Christmas (and those are both great Christmas colors), it was on the Feast of the Holy Innocents, and we decided on red for those precious martyrs. Shades of red also symbolized devotion to the Sacred Heart, which runs through our family and social circle.

KC and I had a candle lit in the sanctuary with Bishop Morlino's photo in memory of him, and our recessional hymn, “O God Beyond All Praising,” was partially chosen with him in mind, since it was one of his favorites.

We also memorized our vows, rather than repeating after the priest. KC and I wanted to make sure our vows were ones that we knew forward and backward and fully understood what they meant. It was a little weird to practice our vows with each other in the months before our wedding, so we replaced "husband" and "wife" in the first line with "friend" while we practiced.

At our wedding, we both almost said “friend,” and it was funny for the two of us, even though no one else knew! But it was very worth it, and we still hold hands once in a while and repeat our vows to each other.

The Mass was celebrated ad orientem, and we incorporated many Latin responses. Readings were chosen with Theology of the Body in mind and as much foreshadowing of the heavenly wedding feast of the Lamb as possible. The gospel reading (Jn 2:1-11) is one of our favorites because it contains the last recorded words of Mary: "Do whatever He tells you." They are a good command for us to remember as we begin our life together following God's plan.

We each had a holy hour the morning of the wedding and went to confession the night before. My father walked with me to the bride and groom’s "first look." KC and I wanted to process into the church together, so in order to still give my dad the opportunity to "give the bride away," we had him escort me then.

After our first look, my parents gathered with us to share a prayer they had written for us. KC and I read our letters to each other and prayed together for a brief, special moment. Then, just before starting the processional, my bridesmaids prayed over me.  

The Mass was a dream. Everything went smoothly; our musicians (all music majors and two opera/musical theater majors) were phenomenal.  KC says that our friend Ben put Andrea Bocelli to shame with his Ave Maria for our Marian consecration, which was the final day of our 33 Days to Morning Glory renewal. There was so much joy, peace, and excitement for both of us as we knelt and prayed after communion.

One of the priests told us afterwards that seeing the joy and radiance on our faces as we prayed gave him so much hope for the future and deepened his flame of love for his own bride, the Church.

We didn't share our first kiss at the altar. Rather, we snuck off for a few moments alone in one of the spiritual direction rooms in the basement of the Newman Center. Those moments were so important for us to share our joy, prayers, and thoughts from Mass and to take a deep breath before family photos and being passed around from guest to guest the rest of the evening.

Our honeymoon was in Italy, where we made another pilgrimage to Assisi to thank Sts. Francis and Claire for their intercession in our engagement and to Rome for the Sposi Novelli blessing.

Wedding planning can be a lot of fun if you are striving to have a celebration that reflects goodness, truth, and beauty. KC and I encountered our own share of spiritual warfare, but because God always comes through on his promises, we received many, many comments from our priests and our guests about how peaceful everything and everyone was.

We could feel that peace too. When we trust the Lord, really trust him to take care of things and to have a better plan than we have, everything works out, and it brings joy and light to other people's personal and spiritual lives.

Photography: Wild Elegance LLC | Church: St. Paul's University Catholic Center | Reception: St. Paul's University Catholic Center | Rings: Diny's Diamonds (Madison, WI) | Dress: Brides N Belles (Reedsburg, WI) | Veil: JJ's House | Shoes: Amazon, Overstock | Brides Jewelry: Handmade | Groom's Suit: JC Penney | Cake: To Di For (Stoughton, WI) | Hair and MU: The Posh Beauty Bar, done by Katrina (Stoughton, WI) | Caterer: Blue Plate Catering | DJ: Midwest Sound DJs | Flowers: DIY, purchased through Costco floral | Girls dresses and mens suits were purchased on their own. Men's ties were from Amazon. | Invitation Suite: By the bride

Communication in a Long-Distance Relationship

STEPHANIE FRIES

My husband and I are currently in the midst of a season of work-inflicted separation. His professional travel will keep him away from home for about five months, though we will be able to communicate and visit each other periodically during that time.

These circumstances, though frequent, are never ideal. And they are certainly not easy. The distance and separation have challenged our methods and means of communication and have stretched our hearts’ capacity to desire union with one another.

Communication is key in any relationship. Honest dialogue serves as a building block to any kind of intimacy: spiritual, physical, intellectual, creative, or emotional. Though if you and someone you love are in a long-distance relationship, effective communication is the primary building block to maintaining and building a foundation of trust, honesty, intimacy, and unity.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARY KATHERINE PHOTOGRAPHY

Successful communication requires honest reflection, both of the circumstances and of your heart’s desire. If you and your partner—whether in a dating, engaged, or married relationship—are in a season of separation, I encourage you to be intentional about planning your communication in a proactive way.

The logistics of current circumstances must be taken into account. First, determining the best time of day to communicate is vital; considerations for conflicting schedules or time changes are significant variables. Second, discuss the best method for communication: an online messaging provider (such as Facebook messenger), text messages, phone calls, or emails each offer various benefits and obstacles. Each method can be an intentional means to a specific, desired end.

For example, for a quick check in, online messengers are simple and efficient. Oftentimes, the response rate is rapid. In contrast, an email platform offers greater length and depth for sharing, though the wait time between responses is generally slower.

Beyond the logistics of the situation, both parties must be honest about their personal needs for communication over time and distance.

In many ways, men and women differ in their need for communication. Where women generally engage in conversation as a means to build emotional intimacy, men often engage in conversation to accomplish a productive end. Being realistic about your partner’s predisposition to communication will create an environment for trust, collaboration and fruitful compromise.

Differences in communication are also specific to each individual’s mind and heart. In order for both individuals to be satisfied, each must introspectively recognize their needs, then clearly admit what they desire.

For example, my husband is content with a brief message to check-in, confirm we are alive, and to catch up on the generic happenings of the day. Meanwhile, I desire a thorough email thread to share the intimate thoughts and reactions of what happened over the previous days.

Neither of our preferences are inherently “good” or “bad,” but they are drastically different. Sharing a dialogue about how we are willing and able to compromise has enhanced our long-distance communication with greater understanding, peace, and intimacy—though our journey to creating long-distance intimacy is ongoing.

In authentic, loving relationships, both individuals are called to surrender some of their own desires for the fulfillment of the other’s needs. This kind of daily dying-to-self for the good of another has the potential to eliminate frustration or fear and enhance intimacy and love in a relationship. What are your needs for communication in relationship? If they differ from your partner, where are you willing to collaborate to achieve a greater good?

Have you ever experienced challenges or success in building intimacy through communication in a long-distance relationship? Please share your experiences, advice, and questions with our Spoken Bride community on Facebook or Instagram.

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About the Author: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband, Geoff, a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal (…with dessert). Read more

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Becoming Part of Parish Life

As Catholics, we need community to grow deeper in our relationship with God, and where better to find that community than your local parish?

PHOTOGRAPHY: CLAIRE WATSON

Married couples and families offer unique gifts to a parish that can bring a new life to a community.

Here are five tips to help you and your spouse become active members of your parish:

Register at your Parish

While “parish-hopping” has become the norm for most young people today, that is not what we are called to as Catholics.

The 1993 U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops said that parishes “are the heart of our Church.” We need community to help us grow in our faith.

So whether you are attending a new church or the church you grew up in, it is important for couples to register their newly formed family with the parish. By registering with a parish, you are making a formal commitment to the community.

This commitment allows the parish and its ministers to better serve you and further encourages you to serve the needs of that particular community.

Attend a Regular Mass

Especially for families with small children, it is easy to move between parishes to fulfil your Sunday obligation depending on the mass times and your weekend plans.

However, if you really want to become an active member of your community, you should attend mass at your parish every Sunday (at least for a while).

Attending a regular mass at least once a week allows you to further acquaint yourselves with other members of the parish.

Get Involved

Do you have a heart for service? Or a desire to assist with preparations for the liturgy? Are you interested in joining your parish council or the Knights of Columbus?

Parishes often offer ministries in many different areas, so you can do the things you are passionate about while serving the wider parish community. If your parish doesn’t have a ministry you’d like to join, talk to your pastor about how you can get one started.

Start a Bible Study

Starting a Bible study or forming small group is an excellent way to intentionally build up the community among the church members. You might consider starting a group for fellow wives, young adults, or even other couples.

A Bible study can cultivate authentic friendships among the members and strengthen the bonds between them. It also facilitates an encounter with Christ, who can transform the parish for the better.

Open your Home

The creating of a home is calling unique to married couples, the fruit of which can be shared with your parish community.

Invite other couples or regulars at mass over for brunch, or maybe you can have local college students or your parish priests over for a home cooked meal.

Welcoming others into your home not only brings the joy of parish into your domestic church, but also allows your whole family to pour into other members of your community.

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About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

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“The Artist of Love” | A Young Bride’s Reflection on Writings by Alice Von Hildebrand

KATE THIBODEAU

This post contains an affiliate link. All opinions are our own and those of the vendors featured in this piece. We believe in authenticity and honesty, and only recommend products and services we would buy and use ourselves. For more information about our disclosure policy as required by the FTC, please see Spoken Bride’s Terms of Service.

A young bride faces a number of choices when it comes to defining her role within marriage. The conflicting worries and joyful surprises of marriage may become overwhelming when trying to establish a new role as someone’s wife and partner towards salvation.

PHOTOGRAPHY: HER WITNESS

I remember the first few months of marriage—working a new job and attempting to prove myself as a career woman, while also attempting to set up house, learn to cook and patiently maneuver through the transition. I found myself pulled in different directions while trying to solidify a mission statement or role for my new responsibilities as James’ wife. I pressured myself to strive for perfection in every field, while feeling limited by my inexperience.

The joy of my union to my wonderful husband was challenged by my personal expectations for perfection. In the tension, I lost sight of the sacred nature of being a wife.  

A gift from a friend offered a new lens for me to comprehend my stress and pressure. By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride, a novel by Catholic authoress Alice Von Hildebrand, spoke to the many fears, questions, and experiences of my newlywed life.

This little book is filled with letters by a long married widow to her newlywed goddaughter, Julie, who faces trials and questions in her vocation. The daily struggles and triumphs of Julie and her husband mirrored many of my own. I read through pages thinking to myself, “My James does that!,” or “We have had this conversation!,” and “I, too, am guilty of this mistake.”

Von Hildebrand offers powerful spiritual advice in each letter, encouraging marital relationships for self-giving love and mutual respect. She paints a vision of marriage as it should be: learning how to love and lead one’s spouse to heaven through sacrifice.

Julie’s experiences reflected many of my own struggles, from trying to balance work with being a homemaker, to accepting the habits of a permanent roommate, my spouse. I marveled how through her godmother’s writing, she discovers her true role as a wife—despite both internal and external pressures—as “an artist of love.”

Von Hildebrand explains the meaning of this title by describing her love for oriental rugs, and how their complex beauty is made through tiny snippets of fabric. This image is a symbol of the many small acts and deeds of a wife, the artist, as she weaves together her sacrifices, efforts, and decisions to benefit her husband and family.

I take this message to heart as my mission statement as both James’ wife and a child of God. My vocation calls me to regard every challenge and duty in life with deference to my marriage. How will this decision impact our relationship? Does this word or action detract from my mission as the artist in our home? Does this contribute to the art of our marital love?

Regardless of the field in which I may be struggling, I need only simplify my motivations and focus them towards my vocation. My beginner’s errors and the fear of unknowns matter so little when I realize each sacrifice and trial, suffered with love, is an addition to the “quilt” I weave for the good of our family. In this truth is an ever present joy.

Being “an artist of love” is applicable to every role I may take on as a wife, as a working professional or a stay-at-home mom. As we age and mature in our marriage, so will our metaphorical “quilt”.

As a young bride-to-be searching for a peace in the daunting new territories of marriage, I am grateful to know of Hildebrand’s novel. Her simple words help me find purpose and meaning in each new trial and experience.

In the transitions of marriage and family life, I encourage every woman to not be overwhelmed by the stress of a new role. Do not pressure yourself to be excellent in every new undertaking, but have patience in every little action and sacrifice. Accept each challenge and make every decision in the confidence of your new mission: to be an “artist of love.” May your marriage be joyful in this pursuit!

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About the Author: Recently married to her best friend and partner towards salvation, Kate Thibodeau is learning how to best serve her vocation as a wife while using her God-given talents. Mama to angel baby, Charlotte Rose, and soon-to-arrive Baby Thibs, Kate has an English degree from Benedictine College, and strives to live in the Benedictine motto: that in all things, God may be glorified. Kate loves literature, romance, beautiful music, pretty things, wedding planning, and building a community of strong Catholic women.

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What is a Culture of Encounter? Creating One on Your Wedding Day + Beyond

STEPHANIE CALIS

What can 21st century brides learn from a priest and sister who lived one hundred years ago?

Encounter is a gift women uniquely are able to give.

Photography: Laura Gordon Photography, seen in Elizabeth + Matthew | Ethereal Irish Castle Wedding

Blessed James Alberione and Venerable Mother Thecla Merlo, two founding members of the Daughters of Saint Paul, recognized the mediums of film, music, radio, and literature as goods that can share with the world what is true, good, and beautiful. Against the odds of transatlantic travel, the Great Depression, limited resources, and fear, Father Alberione and Mother Thecla’s conviction in the Father’s call ultimately led to the establishment and development of a thriving, faithful order of sisters.

The Daughters of Saint Paul travel the U.S. and worldwide using media to evangelize, and have hubs in several cities across the country. In these cities, the order’s materials and publications are sold in stores known as Books & Media Centers.

On a recent visit to the sisters’ Provincial House in Boston, I was struck by one of Father Alberione’s thoughts on his mission and took a picture of a plaque expressing them: the order’s book centers, he said, “are not places of business, but centers of light and warmth in Jesus Christ. The book center is not like any other book store. It is a ‘church’ where the Word of God is distributed...it is sacred...Light, holiness, and joy are the goals sought. The counter is a pulpit.”

The counter is a pulpit. This idea echoed a deep desire I feel to help those I encounter throughout the day--however briefly or extensively--to feel seen and heard.

Making meaningful eye contact with someone, conveying sincere interest in him or her even in the answer to the simple question how are you?, wishing them a good day; all these actions reveal a Christ-like love and tap into something essential: the human heart’s longing to be known.

In the nature of femininity and womanhood, I see a particular ability to help others (even including strangers) feel valued and known. To create a culture of encounter--one that seeks to acknowledge and respect another’s dignity, to push past surface-level interaction, to look up from our phones. The word encounter conveys a true seeing and a dissolving of walls. That’s a dynamic--a culture--I want to help create.

Saint Edith Stein wrote, “the destiny of every woman is to be bride and mother.” Your personal pulpit might not be a store counter, but in the workplace, in your family, on your wedding day.

The sister hosting my visit described how the order’s centers are true their name. Genuinely, she said, they are centers of conversation, trust, and faith. She described how visitors quickly sense they’re in the presence of those who will closely listen to them. Frequently, these guests will share past or current struggles and pour out their stories.

When we, as women, receive another’s story with respect and attention, we give a gift of encounter. Every woman, no matter what her vocation, career, hobbies, or personal style, is called to receive love and let her love be received as a gift. She is called to be a shelter for others’ hearts, a refuge. She is called to a rich interior life--Our Lady herself, an ultimate example of womanhood, “kept all these things” at the birth of her son, “reflecting on them in her heart.” In moments of transcendence and of the ordinary alike, as women our gifts of receptivity and interiority allow us to communicate love and attention to all we encounter.

What does encounter look like on your wedding day? It looks like letting your love speak for itself, drawing your guests to enter into the Mass. It looks like a few moments to hug or shake hands with guests during your reception meal. It looks like showing attention and care to your bridal party and families. It looks like total receptivity.

All of it points to an encounter with the one is love himself. Like Our Lady in her joy at the Visitation, let your soul “magnify the Lord.”

Not every interaction you engage in will be profound or lengthy, nor should it create a spirit of moral superiority or righteousness. Developing habits of attention and receptiveness to others, though, is an embodiment of who we are: brides, women, with a particular genius for encounter.

Consider what it is you desire to embody and reveal to others with your unique strengths. Aim to reveal the love of God: a love that is particular, unconditional, all-encompassing, abundantly merciful, and forever faithful.

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Jenny + Sam | Summertime Texas Wedding

“Through desire, [God] enlarges our soul and by expanding it he increases its capacity for receiving him.” These words from Pope Benedict XVI echoed in Jenny’s heart as she prepared to marry her beloved Sam.

Jenny and Sam’s love story is one of virtuous patience and beautiful triumph, the rich fruits of Jenny’s trust while suffering a deep desire and longing to begin her vocation--for marriage.

Through their mutual devotion to their faith and love of Mother Mary, Jenny and Sam were married on a bright, summertime day in Texas.

From the Bride: It was a struggle for me to deeply desire marriage and not enter my vocation until I was 34 (and 1/2) years old. I had already watched many of my friends get engaged, married, and start a family. I did not know why God would have me suffer with such a deep desire for the vocation of marriage and not fulfill it.

I didn’t know it, but he was working out everything for the good--it just wasn't time yet. Through my suffering, my relationship with God became stronger and stronger. I even traveled to be a missionary teacher abroad for two years in the hope that maybe God wanted to work in me more before he revealed my husband to me.

When I returned from missionary work, I dated a little and put myself out there, going to young adult retreats and social functions at my church. But it seemed that many times, as most singles will complain, "the good guys are all gone."

Finally, after a summer of getting my heart broken and many unsuccessful dates, I decided to try one last round of online dating. I had joined an app when I came across Sam's profile. I thought he was cute, and he made some funny comments. He also said he was Catholic. What?! We connected and hit it off.

I quickly discovered that our morals and values as well as our devotion to our Catholic faith aligned perfectly. We also found out we had many common interests, like running. On our first date, he told me he was looking to get married. Wow, I thought. This was a first. I knew he was special, and we quickly prayed about the next steps. Before long, we knew the Lord was bringing us together for a purpose.

What I loved about Sam was his patience with me. Throughout our courtship he showed me the man he truly was. Although we lived across town from each other, we made it a point to attend Mass together every Sunday. We enjoyed attending confession and both had a devotion to Mary, Our Mother, and prayed the rosary often. We truly believe she helped guide us on our journey.

Sam planned the perfect proposal; it was just him and I. We had gotten coffee, and I was getting stressed with work and felt unsure where our future was heading. He told me that Mary would make it all better and show us the way, so we prayed the rosary together. In that moment I knew Sam was truly the one the Lord had planned for me. I prayed “not my will but your will, Lord, but I really like him!” When I opened my eyes, Sam was on his knees, and he asked me to be his wife. God's perfect plan was unfolding in front of me, and I was overjoyed to start the next chapter with this man.

Our engagement was a whirlwind since I was a teacher who was off work in the summer. We were eager to start our lives together, and we knew we wanted a summertime wedding.

But that meant we had only six months to plan a wedding for three hundred guests! Although it was stressful at times, Sam and I really enjoyed our Pre-Cana classes and preparing for marriage. We learned so much about each other and our faith, and we know it prepared us for the sacrament.

Our wedding day was the best day of our lives.

Pope Benedict XVI, said “Man was created for greatness–for God himself; he was created to be filled by God. But his heart is too small for the greatness to which it is destined. It must be stretched. By delaying his gift, God strengthens our desire; through desire, he enlarges our soul and by expanding it he increases its capacity for receiving him.”

My entire life has been a process of God enlarging my soul and increasing my heart’s capacity to receive the gift of my marriage on July 21, 2018.

Through suffering, a lot of waiting, prayer, brokenness, redemption, and through the Eucharist, Christ was preparing me for Sam. He was preparing me to say my own “fiat” like Mary did (Luke 1:38) when he offered me the wonderful gift of my husband and our new journey together.

My mom was in charge of most of the planning for the reception, and Sam and I planned the ceremony. We wanted a beautiful, holy Mass and a joyful reception with all our family and friends. We were married in Sam's childhood church and included many Catholic traditions such as the lazo in the liturgy. We knew from the start we would also include the presentation of flowers to Mother Mary. After we prayed together and laid flowers at the foot of Mary, we gave a special rose to our mothers.

Sam and I found out during the wedding process that we have many of the same favorite Catholic hymns, like the communion hymn “Taste and See,” and incorporated them into the Mass. The priest gave a wonderful homily about the love of Jesus and the great sacrament of marriage.

When I saw Sam standing at the altar, all I remember is thanking Jesus. And as I walked with my father down the aisle, carrying my new mother-in-law’s rosary as my “something borrowed,” I smiled as I gazed at Sam, who was crying. It was a beautiful moment, and I felt so close to Christ.

The reception afterwards was a night to remember! We had delicious food and great entertainment. We did the Grand March (a German tradition) that got everyone out on the dance floor. Then came our first dance. Sam and I love to two-step to country music, and it was a special moment as all of our family and friends surrounded us to watch us have our first dance as husband and wife.

There was pure joy and peace the whole day of our wedding, and it remains even now in our marriage. Christ is so good and faithful!

Photography: Meeker Pictures | Church: Saint Mary Catholic Church-Plantersville, Texas | Bridal Portraits- Our Lady of Walsingham Catholic Church- Houston, TX | Reception: The Brownstone Reserve- Bryan, Texas | Food: City View Catering | Cake: Cakes by Gina | Gown: Stella York @ Whittington Bridal | DJ: DJ Mark Bobo | Florist: Trica Barksdale Designs | Hair/Make-up: Naturally Flawless | Bridesmaid Dresses: KFbridal | Flower girl dresses: Pink Princess | Men's suits: Men's wearhouse | Wedding planning: Ashley &Co. | Invitations: Dromgooles | Bridal portrait flowers: Lambrie Floral designs

Cultivating the Spirit of Newlyweds Across Time

STEPHANIE FRIES

Just weeks after our wedding, my husband and I were introduced as “the newlyweds” to a visiting priest at our local church. To our surprise, he turned his attention back to us during his homily that morning. By emphasizing the qualities of newlywed life, he encouraged us—and every married couple in the sanctuary—to embody the spirit of newlyweds through every stage of married life.

Oftentimes, the first weeks of marriage are defined as a “honeymoon phase,” when the innocent novelty of married life outweighs the demanding responsibilities of daily life.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MACKENZIE REITER PHOTOGRAPHY

As time passes beyond the wedding day, small transformations begin to unfold:

The honeymoon pictures collect dust in an album.

The groom’s ring acquires its first scratch.

New friends only know you by your married name.

You notice the idiosyncrasies of your spouse for the first time.

The laundry piles up, bills come in the mail, and careers gain momentum.

In Beginning your Marriage, a ‘Catholic marriage manual,’ the author observes, “Familiarity between wife and husband can dampen enthusiasm. Daily routine can clog lines of communication.”

Although familiarity and daily routine can pull couples out of newlywed enthusiasm, building deeper intimacy through a growing familiarity over time can be an invitation for infinite joy.

Establishing an attitude grounded in prayer, gratitude, and a sense of humor can help create a foundation to maintain the spirit of newlyweds throughout the monotony of routine and the emotional ups and downs of family life.

Prayer

Every detail of your vocation is a gift to you from God. Prayer is a means for God to speak into those details of your life, showing you the beauty he has in store in every cup of coffee, speck of dust, idiosyncrasy or load of laundry. If routine has clogged intimacy in your marriage, turn your heart to prayer and ask for renewed enthusiasm and connection through the gift of vocation.

Gratitude

Adopting an attitude of gratitude turns our hearts to receptivity. When we can look at our lives and say, “thank you,” we receive all life’s circumstances with hope. The virtue of hope renews our strength, trust, and joy. Whether you bring gratitudes to mind independently or in conversation with your spouse, a grateful perspective has the power to reignite the newlywed spirit of joyful surrender in your marriage.

Sense of Humor

A sense of humor and the ability to laugh with your partner is a gift, a skill, and a tool for authentic joy. We most easily laugh at ourselves when we don’t take life too seriously because we surrender our hearts to trust in God’s providence. Of course, this does not include decisions or circumstances which must be discerned with prayer and thoughtfulness. Create opportunities to be playful with your spouse, give yourself permission to laugh at the little surprises of daily life, and celebrate the many transformations of your shared lives with a light-hearted joy.

To embody the spirit of newlyweds beyond the honeymoon phase is an outlier is our communities. Where many couples become bogged down by life circumstances, husbands and wives united through the sacrament of marriage are called to faithfully participate in and receive the mysteries and fruits of vocation.

In what ways do you and your beloved cultivate the spirit of newlyweds as a living testimony to the joy of marriage? We hope you will share your experience with our community on Facebook or Instagram.

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About the Author: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband, Geoff, a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal (…with dessert). Read more

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The Bookish Catholic Bride’s Guide to Good Podcasts

MARIAH MAZA

Wedding planning can be a stressful time for a bride. After all, engagement is a unique era of intense excitement, anticipation, and preparation, all at the same time.

The temptation to live constantly in the future, in that blissful time when you and your beloved are finally living your vocation as husband and wife, is strong. I experienced this, and I watched the engaged women in my life go through it as well.

One unexpected resource that helped me recenter my heart and my focus during the year and a half I was engaged was a newfound technological affinity: podcasts.

My love for podcasts began at the end of college, when I was in the middle of wedding planning and trying to finish my degree program. I was insanely busy, and I needed something “restful” to break up my day and refocus me on the Lord in the cacophony of assignments, full schedules, and wedding checklists.

Even if it was just on the car ride home or walking between classes on campus, I discovered inspiration for my upcoming vocation and encouragement as a Catholic woman in several podcasts. And, every once in a while, a little treat for my bookish heart--at the time, there was no free moment to conquer my to-read list!

And so, here are my top five podcast recommendations (and two honorable mentions) for the busy, bookish Catholic bride who is looking for rest and inspiration for her upcoming vocation, femininity, books, or simply living the beauty of our faith in the midst of everyday life:

01. Daily Readings from the New American Bible by the USCCB

I’ve intentionally ranked this one first on the list. If you don’t already read the daily readings in some form: through daily emails, a missal, or through an app, download this podcast today. This resource, provided to us by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), helped me make a habit of listening to the daily readings, even if I felt like I had no time to sit and read them.

Each daily podcast is only around five minutes, and they post other days ahead of schedule. If you want to get ahead on reading next Sunday’s readings, just find it in the list of episodes! The daily readings are a beautiful gift from the Church that allow us to connect everyday with Scripture in a way that reflects the current season of the liturgical year (and, often, the current season of your heart). Discover this ancient tradition of the Church through your podcast player.  

A good place to start: Today’s readings!

02. The Gathering Place by Blessed is She founder Jenna Guizar and Beth Davis

In The Gathering Place, Jenna and Beth invite you to “come chat with us about Jesus, prayer, community, and life.” In true Blessed is She style, the two co-hosts talk like you’re sitting in their living room having a conversation about the love of Christ, joyful sisterhood, and how it touches the everyday struggles of the Christian life, whether you’re married or living the single life. They bring guests on the show as well, like BIS writers, Ike Ndolo, and several of their closest priest-friends to drop some major truth-bombs--yes, including Bishop Barron! Each episode ends with an extemporaneous prayer to lift your heart to the Lord.

A good place to start: “Remember His Tenderness// TGP Episode 11”

03. Abiding Together Podcast by Heather Khym, Michelle Benzinger, and Sr. Miriam James Heidland

Abiding Together brings together three amazing Catholic women: two wives and mothers and one religious sister. Together, they provide diverse perspectives on what it means to live authentic womanhood and vocation in the Church. Their mission is to provide “a place of connection, rest, and encouragement for women who are on the journey of living out their passion and purpose in Jesus Christ.” Another fun aspect? They do book studies on spiritual books and Church documents! If you ever wanted three cool Catholic ladies to guide you on a spiritual read-along or encourage you in your feminine vocation, Abiding Together is a refreshing place to begin.

A good place to start: Check out their four-part series diving into JPII’s “feminine genius,” starting with episode 5 on receptivity.

04. Among the Lilies by Cameron Fradd

Cameron Fradd is the wife of well-known Catholic author and speaker Matt Fradd. In fact, they both host their own podcasts! (You may have heard of Matt Fradd’s popular Pints with Aquinas series.) Among the Lilies is Cameron’s little corner of the world for “ladies who are tired of pretending and are ready to be real.” I think of Among the Lilies as the “real talk” of Catholic podcasts for women. Cameron doesn’t shy away from difficult or challenging topics that can affect any Catholic woman, and she handles them with grace, spunk, and infectious humor. I have cherished her episodes on infertility, sex and marriage, sisterhood, and brokenness, to name a few. She also hosts some pretty amazing guests (including her husband) like Leah Darrow, Crystalina Evert, and Jackie Francois.

A good place to start: Check out episodes eight and nine, a two-part series on intimacy in marriage and intimacy in friendship with Elisa McLaughlin.

05. Fountains of Carrots by Haley Stewart and Christy Isinger

I have saved this gem of a podcast for last. Over the past two years, I have listened to almost every episode (there are over 100) of Fountains of Carrots, a show for “chats about faith, books, culture, and whatever strikes our fancy.” Not only have I received all my best book recommendations from Haley and Christy, they also began my obsession, for better or worse, with BBC period dramas. But it’s not all about good English literature and TV shows. These two Catholic mamas talk about marriage, kids, homeschooling, homesteading, and liturgical living. No other podcast helped me through the last stages of wedding planning and the early, emotional transition into newlywed life the way Haley and Christy did. Their voices have become familiar friends to me, and their discussions are downright charming.

A good place to start: Try any bookish episode (especially earlier episodes) where they discuss book recommendations and underlying Catholic themes in literature. Or check out episode 57: “From Catholic Single Life to the Altar: Relationship Wisdom with Christina Grace Dehan.”

Honorable Mentions:

01. Simple by Tsh Oxenreider

Although Tsh is Anglican, not Catholic, that doesn’t stop her from regularly inviting Haley Stewart from Fountains of Carrots to come on her show and discuss Catholic liturgical living for each month, as well as good books. Simple is a show all about “living well and ignoring the rest.” Tsh talks about Christian themes like cultivating silence, fasting, feasting, marriage, and family. But she also has great interviews with women about their interesting careers in her work series. And throughout the whole show, she gives tips on how to cultivate a beautiful, simple life.

02. A Good Story is Hard to Find by Julie Davis and Scott Danielson

A podcast on books and good storytelling hosted by two Catholic friends? Yes please! A Good Story is Hard to Find talks about “books, movies, and traces of “the One Reality” below the surface.” If you’ve ever wanted a “book club” feel in a podcast and the opportunity to discuss Catholic themes in pop culture books and movies, join Julie and Scott in their reading and watching adventures. They’ll review and discuss anything from Dante’s ancient Divine Comedy to 2018’s A Quiet Place.

So, as you plan your wedding, anticipate your marital vocation, and strive to find God in the busyness of everyday, remember the importance of refocusing your heart and soul in the present moment--the “now” where God lives.

May you’ll find a little rest, inspiration, and joy in these podcasts, like I did—and still do! Let that joy flow into a strengthened prayer life and encouragement in your journey towards marriage and, through the graces of the sacrament, sainthood.

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About the Author: Mariah Maza is Spoken Bride’s Features Editor. She is the co-founder of Joans in the Desert, a blog for bookish and creative Catholic women. Read more

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Modeling the Catholic Home in the Monastic Style

CARISSA PLUTA

For over 2,000 years men and women have set out for places of seclusion and peace in hopes of finding communion with God. While our vocation to marriage looks vastly different from the call of monks and nuns, we ultimately desire the same end.

PHOTOGRAPHY: AN ENDLESS PURSUIT

Most of us can’t pack up our stuff and move our lives to a quiet cabin in the woods, but we can learn so much from our brothers and sisters who live within the monastery walls; many aspects of the monastic life can be modified and applied to the Catholic home in order to help married couples and families grow closer to God.

Create a Rule of Life

Monks lead lives of discipline and order. Each religious order has their own set of precepts called a Rule of Life, which serves as a guide to keep their eyes fixed on God while living in their vocation.

Building a structure that influences your day-to-day is a beneficial practice for every couple and family that will help you and your marriage flourish.

In our vocation of marriage we have duties to our husbands, to our family, to our home, to God, and to ourselves. Having a Rule of Life helps ensure that each of these areas are receiving the attention they need, allowing you to find a deeper peace and a more profound freedom.

Create a Sacred Space

Monks and nuns in a contemplative order will spend much of their lives praying in a place secluded from the rest of the world. For those of us called to the vocation of marriage and family life, that isn’t really possible (nor should it be!)

However, we can create a space in our homes that functions as a “little monastery.”

Your home’s sacred space doesn’t have to be elaborate, it adds a lot of beauty to your home, and setting aside a wall or corner that fosters prayer and contemplation will help you refocus your attention on God.

Pray Daily

Every successful rule of life includes daily prayer, a necessity for anyone striving for holiness. Even incorporating simple daily prayers can bear immense fruit and can easily involve your spouse and your children.

You might consider praying a rosary (or a decade of the rosary) everyday, or take up saying the Liturgy of the Hours. You could also add an Examen to your evening routine, or if possible, go to a daily Mass at a nearby parish.

Cultivate Silence

In the words of monk and author Thomas a Kempis: “In silence and quiet the devout soul advances in virtue and learns the hidden truths of Scripture.”

However, work, kids, and the constant buzzing of our phones and social media apps can make silence difficult to find outside of a monastery. Thankfully, there are many little changes you can make to cultivate silence even on the busiest of days.

You can try limiting your phone usage especially in the morning or before bed. Or you can try waking up before the kids and enjoy your coffee, or turning the radio off on your commute.

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About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

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Vacationing with Family This Summer? Tips for Engaged + Newlywed Couples

Will you and your beloved be traveling with extended family this summer?

It’s normal if you anticipate that among extended family, there are numerous—and varied—routines, diets, habits, and budgets. Truly, the family is a crucible wherein “families, which are far from considering themselves perfect, live in love, fulfill their calling and keep moving forward, even if they fall many times along the way.”

Many hours together in a limited space, perhaps more than you’ve all spent with one another in the past, can lead individual temperaments to bump against each other. And yet, family vacations are a gift of quality time. The experience can be rich with meaning, community, and relationship, when you choose to embrace the good with the challenging.

The occasion of knowing your beloved’s family members (or him knowing yours) more deeply is a school of love and opportunity for encounter.

Here, if you and your fiancé or spouse are vacationing with siblings, parents or other relatives, our tips for peaceful and fulfilling travels.

Find a daily ritual with your beloved.

Time spent in groups, rather than individual couples, naturally flows from the rhythm of most extended-family vacations. Resist any temptation to treat a family vacation more as a trip for the two of you--that is, more time spent on your own than with everyone present.

Instead, devote time and attention to your relationship by communicating with your fiancé or spouse about one or two rituals you can adopt for just yourselves in this different setting. You might consider going for a walk or run together each day, attending daily Mass, or, if you’re married, agreeing to go to bed at the same time each night.

Know yourself, while humbling yourself.

Depending on the degree to which you know one another’s families, and depending whether your individual temperament is more introverted or extroverted, time together might leave you energized, or it might leave you craving quiet.

Either reaction is equally valid. Consider ways to nurture personal needs while balancing and respecting the expectations of the group. Extroverts might pack board games and cards for spontaneous social time or suggest a movie or show for the group to share in, while introverts might carve out daily time to read, work out, or run an errand on their own.

Keep in mind, all the while, the value of being perceptive to others’ needs and not taking things personally: vacation isn’t about one particular person, but determining what best serves everyone. Parents of young children, for instance, might not be able to stay up late for marathon game nights, and those who prefer to recharge alone might opt out of certain activities. Allowing everyone freedom with their time is a gesture of goodwill that helps them be their best selves.

Serve.

Joy is a fruit of service. Take initiative with chores; put sunscreen on your nieces and nephews and offer to babysit them or take them out so their parents can have time together; take short showers; engage in conversation with family members you haven’t yet spent extensive time with.

Be honest and flexible with money.

Choosing activities and restaurants can be challenging when those in your group have different spending habits and financial situations. If a proposed meal or trip would be prohibitive, it’s alright to honestly and charitably communicate this.

If, however, choices are more a matter of preference, it’s worth making an effort to go with the flow--seek to invest in experiences and memories. Consider treating someone else if you’re able to, and if they treat you, accept with sincerity and graciousness.

Let yourself be stretched and sharpened.

Struggling with space, boundaries, and personalities with family members is normal and okay. Human natures clash sometimes, like rocks banging against each other in the tide.

Consider, though, that by developing a disposition of service and thanksgiving, that image of rocks jostled together can be replaced by one of iron sharpening iron: an opportunity to live out the will to love, sacrifice, and give of yourself.  

What have your family vacation experiences been like as an engaged couple or as newlyweds? Share the fruits of your travels with family in the comments and on Spoken Bride’s social media.

Meg + Tim | Vintage Italian-Inspired Wedding

Meg and Tim deeply desired that their wedding be a witness to the beauty of the sacrament and of their beloved Catholic faith. Incorporating their love for the Latin Mass into the Novus Ordo liturgy, they gave their guests an experience of grace, tradition, and God’s enduring love.

Their love story is one of online dating, adventure, and homemade limoncello.

From the Bride: Tim and I met on Catholic Match in late 2014, but we didn't meet in person until June 2015. We finally stood face to face on a softball field a few days before I left for a new adventure in Italy and Tim left for a camping trip in Quetico, Canada. But we didn’t know the biggest adventure of our lives was around the corner.

After Tim survived a canoe capsizing in Canadian waters (rough stuff), and I endured Italian wine and culture (even rougher), we returned to the U.S. and began forming a friendship founded upon a mutual love of good music, friendly sports competition, and our Catholic faith.

Our devotion to Our Lady, St. Therese of Lisieux, and St. John Paul the Great have been at the core of our relationship even into marriage. We just welcomed our first child, a daughter, on November 11 of last year. We named her Teresa "Tessa" Rose after the Little Flower.

Tim and I knew from the beginning that we wanted our wedding day to be about Christ and his Mother, our families, and being a beautiful witness for the Catholic faith. We had grown in our faith life separately and together, but we were excited to share the Father's love with our guests as well.

I grew up attending the Latin Mass, and knew I wanted our nuptial Mass to reflect many of the traditions from the Tridentine Mass. So we planned a Latin Novus Ordo Mass that was a beautiful mix of old and new traditions.

I will never forget what our priest, Father Nathan Caswell, said during his homily: “You don't know the beauty and mystery of the good times and the hard times that await.” It made me all the more excited for the vows we would be exchanging just moments later.

It was really important to us to include Psalm 34, "I will bless the Lord at all times" into the liturgy. It echoes how we want to live our marriage; through the good and the bad, we will bless the Lord. The gospel reading was equally important because we saw our nuptial Mass as an opportunity to evangelize. We chose John 5:12-16 to share Christ's message:

“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.”

The aesthetic of our wedding was meant to echo a vintage, summertime Italian day. We wanted it to be reminiscent of the summer Tim and I met. Only a few days after our meeting, we continued communicating while I was in Italy, a beautiful, romantic country where I couldn't help but think that Tim and I had a bright future together.

In keeping with our vintage theme, my dress had short sleeves, an ivory hue, delicate details, and many buttons. My shoes were a vintage heel and were my "something blue." My necklace had a gold chain that held an aquamarine heart and was my “something borrowed.” Just two months after they began dating, my dad had given it to my mom, which is also when they were engaged! More than thirty years later, they are still going strong.

As I was getting ready the morning of the wedding, I knew I'd have trouble bending down in my form-flattering dress to strap my shoes, but my younger brother was at the ready. He helped me strap them in a loving, organic moment that I will remember forever. His simple act of service started the day out right.

Our reception was held at the Old Towne Hall in Crystal Lake, Illinois. It was the place I had envisioned hosting a wedding reception at ever since I had been there for a swing dancing social years earlier. It was quaint and vintage-y in so many ways. The tin, scalloped ceiling especially was our favorite element.

To further include the Italian theme and my Italian heritage, Tim and I made our own limoncello, an Italian liqueur made from lemons, vodka, and sugar, as favors for our guests. I designed the label and wrote out tags that read "Grazie!" That’s Italian for "thank you!"

A few close family members brought homemade desserts to share as well, which added a special touch. A family favorite is “baklawa” (similar to the Greek dessert baklava). My husband has Iraqi roots, and this was a special nod to his mother's side of the family.

But perhaps the greatest surprise of the day was my two sisters' performance of the "Sisters" skit from White Christmas. They really kicked off the reception with a bang. I had no idea it was coming, and I laughed and laughed, all while singing along with them. My bouquet landing on one of the chandeliers during the toss is probably the second biggest surprise of the day--if not the most embarrassing! We still laugh about it!

In the days, and especially the night, before the wedding, I was praying for peace and to be fully present during my wedding day. I woke up on June 10 and felt absolutely at peace. I experienced incredible joy the whole day, and I knew my prayer had been answered by the Holy Spirit. Ask, and you shall receive.

I felt the closest I have ever felt to our Lord as I knelt with my husband in the sanctuary. Our guests were so thoughtful, and their support was so important to us on that day, but it seemed like everything melted away. In that moment, it was just God, Tim, and I on the altar.

Photography: Kyle and Heidi Photography | Church: St. Peter Catholic Church - Volo, IL | Reception Venue: Old Towne Hall, Crystal Lake, IL | Calligraphy: Calligraphy by Meg Em | Wedding Cake: Konrad's Bakery | Bridesmaids' Dresses - JJ's House | Groomsmen Attire - Perry Ellis | Reception Music - Music That Moves | Wedding bands - Zales | Engagement ring: Groom's mother | Hair: Bella Vita Salon | Flowers - Debbie Strand Designs | Bride's Dress/Veil: David's Bridal | Invitations: Vistaprint

Advice from a DJ | Setting the Tone for the Dance Floor

DEREK HALL

At balls and galas in the past, there was a dance of the time, such as the macarena or cha cha slide. In my opinion, the minuet, quadrille, or polonaise are the best part of any historical fiction show or movie. Historically, the party’s dance would be initiated by the guests of honor, often royalty--then the dance floor would be opened for guests to join. Social dancing is not quite the norm these days, but there is an opportunity to have some fun, relay beauty to your guests, and lead them into your celebration as you twirl about the dance floor.

I loathe being the center of attention; formal dances can be uncomfortable bubble of alone time in the spotlight. As a DJ, I have worked with many couples who want to be on and off of the dance floor as fast as possible. The truth is, you and your new spouse are the guests of honor on the wedding day. As you host your family and friends for the celebration, I encourage you to take on the responsibility of opening the dance floor with your first dances.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Du CASTEL PHOTOGRAPHY

If you’re not having dancing, roll the first die of the board games, butter the first bagel of your brunch, bounce the first bounce in the bouncy house. (Yes, you can now have bouncy castles at your wedding.) The pressures we may feel as the center of attention are most often rooted in our own insecurities; rest assured, the other guests will not hold up scores of your dance at the end of the song.  

The truth is that not everyone is paying extremely  close attention to your movements. Some guests watch with admiration, some eat their cake and drink their coffee, some chat among themselves.

Regardless of the attention span of the crowd, these first dances are  one of the few times during the wedding day to have alone time with your parents or with each other. It is really just about the two of you on the floor. Sharing an intimate experience is not the same thing as being stranded on the dance floor. Dive into the opportunity to be vulnerable together, to create a memory, and to savor a moment. When the song ends, the DJ can easily fade out the song, turn the attention to the guests, and keep things rolling.

Though I don’t always enjoy being the center of attention, I love a good dance party. If we replace our fears with a smile and some joy, we can stir up the best start of a dance party you’ve ever seen. Below I share additional insight and advice from my experiences as a husband and a professional DJ.

Learn a new kind of dance

My wife grew up as an Irish dancer and I did ballroom for several years around college. We decided to do a waltz for our first dance--and later did an Irish dance. We worked on them for several months, but for us it was largely a fun project that was sincere to who we are. It was athletic, challenging, and something to do together outside of grad school and wedding planning.

In practicing the steps, my wife and I learned how to dance the movements of a waltz rather than memorizing specific choreography. If things come off the rails in a choreographed dance, it may be hard to adjust on the spot. Give yourself at least a couple of months to learn some specific steps. Get comfortable making mistakes and moving back into the music. Most people won’t know if you mess up, so follow the leader, laugh at yourselves, and enjoy the process of trying something new. .

Pick the perfect song

The perfect song is unique to each couple.  Often, nostalgia has more value than perfect lyrics. Most often, guests are either distracted during the first dance or are enamored by the loving embrace of the couple to pay attention to the words of the lyrics.

If you and your fiance don’t have a song that is extremely meaningful or appropriate for a first dance, choosing a new song gives you something special that will forever be anchored to your first dance. If you plan to learn a kind of dance--as suggested above--ask a professional for recommendations for types of songs to match with a specific type of dance.  

Do the first dance last

I have emphasized the importance of sharing an intimate moment on the dance floor. But consider that your first dance doesn’t have to last the entire duration of a song. I’ve worked with many couples whose  families don’t have a strong dance party tradition.Here’s my pitch: make a plan for your MC explain that the couple doesn’t want to just share a first dance on their own, but with all of the guests--the friends and family who helped them get here. The first dance immediately becomes communal, inclusive, and fun for everyone.

Your bridal party and immediate families can be a part of the plan, and join you on the dance floor after the first verse and chorus. At the end of the song, the next song should come right on and everyone can come in around you. I have had a couple of these types of starts blend right into an upbeat remix or some great sing-alongs (think “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”).  

Get great pictures

So, we have done something to create community and inclusion of everyone in the room. We are making dancing “the cat’s pajamas,” the thing to do. Grab grandparents for a dance. Sing along to your favorite Spice Girls song you drove around singing with your mom when you were young. Burn it down for 30 minutes. Your photo and video are generally scheduled for a short chunk of dancing, and they can capitalize on this initial time with the guests and guests of honor together on the dance floor.

If we have a slow build or if you disappear from the dance party at the beginning of the celebration , you are missing out on a great chance to create and capture special memories of the night.  Eventually, some people might leave, go back to their dessert, enjoy a drink, or get some fresh air. A good DJ or band will figure out how to keep the party going. When you look back at your photos, your favorites may be from those first 30 minutes of fun. The mood for the night has been set. Anything else is gravy.

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About the Author: Derek is one half of The Block Party, a DJ company specializing in playing vinyl, mixing records, and trying to pour as much warmth and friendship into the vendor process as possible. They have done weddings and events all over the country; when they aren't traveling to throw monster dance parties, Derek and his wife Clare are traveling to visit their nieces and nephews or adventuring as a couple.

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Introducing the Spoken Bride Shop.

Since Spoken Bride’s start in 2016, we have hoped and prayed to share our mission not only through images and the written word, but through the tangible: beautiful, distinctively Catholic products that could serve brides during all stages of engagement, wedding and Mass planning, and newlywed life.

Today, we’re thrilled to share the fruits of those dreams with the launch of the Spoken Bride Shop.

Intentionally designed to offer you simplicity, truth, and expertise in Theology and the wedding industry, our first collections in the shop are visual expressions—and meaningful gifts—that highlight the beauty of marriage. We celebrate celebrate men and women who found fulfillment through their married vocation; we express the truth of our vows; we acknowledge our identity as children of God; we provoke reflection on the holy wisdom of the saints. 

Whether you are a single woman in discernment, an engaged woman preparing for marriage, a newlywed or a bride of many years, we share our hearts with you through the Spoken Bride Shop and pray you are encouraged and inspired to pursue the truth of every woman’s call to be a beloved spouse. 

As our ministry is brought to life in a new way, we share our deepest gratitude and praise for the Holy Spirit’s grace in bringing these dreams to fruition. And we thank you—this community of brides, mothers, vendors, contributors, and readers—for empowering this mission to be a place where God dwells among us.

Click here to view additional listings in the Spoken Bride Shop!

FAQs for Spoken Bride Wedding Programs

Congratulations on your engagement!

Your time is valuable. Spoken Bride wedding programs were created with real brides’ input to provide an uncomplicated, elegant, comprehensive worship aid for your nuptial Mass that you can complete quickly and easily. We desire to provide you with the best possible service and user experience.

Below, we answer your frequently asked questions.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I receive my template?
Once purchased, you should receive two emails: One for purchase confirmation and receipt and a second email with your login instructions for Templett.

What is Templett?
Templett is a FREE online design platform where customers can personalize editable templates. Customers can then download their template in multiple formats and have it printed if they choose.

Do the templates work on PC and Mac Computers?
Yes, templates work on both Mac and PC computers. This MUST be done on a computer, not on a mobile phone or iPad.

Do I need special software to edit and print my template?
We recommend you download the latest version of Adobe Acrobat Reader in order to print your download from Templett. Using any other software program could cause formatting and/or saving issues. If you do not have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed, download it for free: https://get.adobe.com/reader

I don’t have a computer. Can I edit on my phone or tablet?
Not at this time. Templates must be edited on a computer.

Do I need to download fonts?
No font downloads are required.

Can I add in my own artwork or graphics to the template design?
Yes. Instructions on how to do so are included with your purchase. Spoken Bride is not responsible for any technical issues or malfunctions that may occur from adding in personal artwork or graphics from other sources.

Do you have other versions such as different Catholic rites or one without a Mass?
We are currently working on a variety of designs for future additions to our collection. Subscribe to our newsletter to be the first to know when they’re available in the Shop.

How many times can I download my printable templates?
Once purchased, we recommend that you save the files directly to your computer. However, as long as you have your download link, you have unlimited downloads for your purchase (personal use only).

Printing

Should I print on my own or print at a local print shop?

• When printing at home: Two things to consider are the quality of your home printer and how many items you are planning to print. Please note: If printing at home, be sure to check the maximum paper thickness for your printer model. This can be found in your printer manual. You can also easily Google your printer model. Paper that is too thick could jam and damage print heads.

• When using a local copy or print shop: If you decide to forego printing at home, we recommend using a local print or copy shop such as FedEx Kinkos, Staples or Office Max.


How many times can I print my printable template?
You can print for any quantity you need (personal use only).

What type of paper/card stock should I use?
We recommend 100 lb. - 120 lb. cardstock or regular copy paper. Print shops offer many types of card stocks to choose from. If printing at a local copy shop, ask to have one sample item printed to make sure the colors and materials are to your liking. Colors vary depending on monitor, printer & paper choice.

Policies & Terms of Use

What are your policies on Cancellations, Returns/Exchanges and Refunds?
Due to the digital nature of our printable templates, no returns or exchanges are available on downloadable items.

What is your Privacy Policy?
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The Visitation and Friendship

CARISSA PLUTA

In my group of friends, I was the first to get married and it was a honor to watch many of them enter into the same sacrament that brought so much joy to my life.

PHOTOGRAPHY: ELIZABETH M PHOTOGRAPHY

These women were pillars in my life before and after my wedding day but I found that as we each entered into our vocations, our friendship deepened and took on a new life.

Today’s feast of the Visitation has much to teach us on the beauty of friendship, especially while living out our vocations. Henri Nouwen writes:

“The story of the Visitation teaches us the meaning of friendship and community. How can we ever let God’s grace fully work in our lives unless we live in a community of people who can affirm it, deepen it, and strengthen it? We cannot live this new life alone. God wants us to form new friendships and renew community – a holy place where grace can grow to fullness and bear fruit.”

The grace conferred on us on our wedding day is meant to strengthen the couple in their love for one another, allowing their love to reflect that of the Creator. And while this grace is a gift freely given, we must cooperate with that grace.

But we can’t do that alone, or even simply with our husbands. We need community.

We need women with whom we can walk side-by-side as we strive to live out our wedding vows. We can not pursue holiness in our vocation in isolation. We especially need the friendship, solidarity, and wisdom given to us by other married women.

After receiving the news that she was to become the mother of God, Mary was also told by the angel of her cousin Elizabeth’s miraculous pregnancy. And so, Mary went in haste to visit her cousin Elizabeth.

Mary did not undertake this arduous journey to verify the news that what the angel said was true, her but because had faith that God had worked in this woman’s life and she wanted to be there for her to rejoice with and support her.

Similarly Elizabeth, having only heard Mary’s greeting, was “filled with the holy Spirit...and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb…’”

The joyful reception of Mary and Elizabeth perfectly illustrates the way that two women, who recently realized a new depth to their feminine genius, can recognize and build one another up in the graces God bestowed on them.

Pursuing holiness in marriage isn’t easy. I often find myself turning in a special way to the other married women in my life when I need encouragement and support in my role as a wife, and when I need a reminder about my identity as a daughter.

I look to them as examples of what holiness looks like.

I look to them to speak truth into my life when doubt and fear creeps in, and to recognize God’s presence in the seemingly mundane.

I look toward the women who can recognize the same grace in my life that has and continues to work in theirs, to strengthen it and help it bear fruit.

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About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

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Developing Relationships with Your In-Laws

What’s your relationship like with your spouse-to-be’s family?

Depending on the factors of distance and personal dynamics, how close you feel to your in-laws-to-be might range from remote to already feeling like family. If the merging of your parents and siblings is on your mind as you and your beloved prepare to become your own distinct family, consider ways to cultivate closeness and peace within your circumstances. Here, suggestions for developing relationships with your in-laws.

Photography: Stephanie Messick Photography, seen in Victoria + David | Antique Glamour Wedding & a Conversion Story

Introduce (or re-introduce) everyone.

Even if your parents have met in the past, inviting them to celebrate your engagement and discuss wedding plans with you and your fiancé is both practically and relationally fruitful. Treat them to a dinner out, where they can chat and--if you’re newly engaged--speak about each other’s expectations and financial contributions for your wedding.

For siblings, a meetup before the big day can forge friendships and, if any are members of your wedding party, facilitate plans. Inviting them to a more active or project-centered activity like a hike, painting class, tasting, or sports event can help conversation flow more easily.

If distance makes face-to-face time unfeasible, a gesture as simple as a group text can keep everyone in communication. Planning a pre-wedding event like a happy hour, bonfire, or hour of Adoration for out of town guests also conveys good will and a spirit of hospitality during your wedding week.

Delegate.

Family and friends are so often eager to help with your preparations. Specific projects that acknowledge their strengths are great for minimizing your personal to-do list and, more importantly, honoring your future in-laws with the gift of inclusion and attention to who they are.

If you’re the bride, you and your family are likely to have more responsibilities and appointments, yet the family of the groom--particularly his mom!--frequently desire to be sure they’re also contributing and a part of the anticipation. If members of your fiancé’s family are skilled in party-planning, cooking, calligraphy, or otherwise, and have offered their assistance, consider asking them to take on some of these duties for events leading to your big day.

See these principles of delegation and DIY brought to life in Katherine + Ian’s rustic wedding, with handmade statement florals and a reception catered by family.

Affirm them.

A toast at your rehearsal dinner or reception, thank you notes or letters of appreciation, and a time with each other’s parents on the dance floor (whether informally or as a request that your DJ include an in-laws dance in the timeline) are all meaningful gestures of love and of gratitude to your in-laws for raising your beloved into the person he is.

What if one--or both--of you struggles with family relationships?

Life’s milestones can emphasize the pain of tense relationships in a way that makes you wish your situation was otherwise. While not every sensitive matter can or will be resolved by the day you approach the altar, know this: your nuptial Mass, regardless of circumstances, will afford every one of your guests a glimpse of the heavenly wedding feast; a banquet free from brokenness and sin.

Pray for peaceful discussion as you plan your wedding, and for reconciliation to transpire according to the Father’s will. Communicate with your fiancé about healthy boundaries regarding relationships and planning decisions, and find consolation in knowing your family’s wounds and struggles have a purpose--even if that purpose is revealed only in eternity.

What actions and gestures have you made to develop a relationship with your in-laws? Families vary, and through honest community we can strengthen one another as sisters. Share your stories in the comments and on Spoken Bride’s social media.

Read more about bringing your loved ones together for your wedding: How to Involve Non-Catholic Family in Your Wedding | Fostering Relationships Among Your Bridesmaids | Family Photo Tips from a Spoken Bride photographer

Fabiola + Cole | Vatican City Basilica Wedding

Gratitude, love, and faith can exist in the midst of profound suffering, through God’s miraculous grace. This is what Fabiola experienced when she faced her mother’s unexpected diagnosis, two years after meeting her future husband, Cole.

A couple years later, to her great joy, her mother sat, beautiful and glowing, at her daughter’s wedding. Fabiola and Cole’s unspeakably beautiful nuptial Mass took place in St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City.

From the Bride: Meeting Cole was a gift from God. I met him at a time of my life when I was worry-free, in college, always smiling, and thanking the Lord for so many blessings.

Four years later, I am still striving to live that way, but life has gotten harder. Two years after we started dating, my beautiful mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I prayed for strength to help my mom fight, and, of course, for healing.

I have always been a girl of strong faith, but this was incredibly difficult. And in the midst of it, Cole was there to remind me, "Fab, hold on to your faith. God's got this." He was right. God answered my prayers and sent me strength, and that strength was through Cole. He was, and is, my rock.

Cole proposed in front of my whole family, and we got married in the most beautiful place in the world: St. Peter's Basilica. The doctors were unsure if my mother would attend our wedding, but I knew in my heart she would be there, and she was.

Our ceremony was so incredibly beautiful. During the Mass, a light shined on my mom the whole time, and the amount of love in the church was breathtaking. The Holy Spirit was alive in all of our hearts.

The celebration was in English, Spanish, and Italian, our three languages. The priest who celebrated our marriage was Father Claudio Barbut, who we met at a healing Mass for my mom. His homily was all about Christ living within us.

We had almost 200 guests attend from all over the world. There were many different beliefs and religions in one room, but every guest held the crucifix that Fr. Claudio handed around before I arrived. When I saw the cross with a beautiful prayer in the hands of my family and friends, my heart was filled with joy.

Fr. Claudio gifted us a wooden cross which we held during the ceremony. Cole and I kissed the cross and promised to keep Christ the center of our marriage forever. When I close my eyes and relive that day, I smile and thank God for every second of it.

I felt so much gratitude. For my mom and how beautiful she was. To know she was right there with me. It was the perfect start to my marriage, and it made Cole and I thankful for every blessing that comes our way.

He knew Christ was the center of my world when he met me, and now Christ is the center of our marriage. At the end of the day, instead of asking for something, I have learned to start every prayer with “thank you.”

We make plans, but God has a perfect plan, and we're ready for what he has planned for us. Marriage is not perfect, and life is not perfect, but when Cole and I look at each other and love each other as Jesus would, we can overcome anything.

Photography: Aberrazioni Cromatiche Studio | Church: St. Peter's Basilica, Vatican City | Reception: Casina di Macchia Madama | Flowers: Dordas Flowers

Wedding Planning | Creating a Moment of Pause on your Wedding Day

STEPHANIE FRIES

It is not uncommon for a bride and groom to reflect how their wedding day “flew by.”

Despite the nonstop timeline for your wedding day, there are opportunities to intentionally plan alone time for you and your beloved. Creating these moments of pause to connect, make eye contact, catch your breath, and be together can help slow down the pace of the day so you can soak in each detail of the people and once-in-a-lifetime events.

Before your wedding planning is complete, note the moments of transition or create points of pause to allocate special times to truly cherish the day.

PHOTOGRAPHY: BEAUTY OF THE SOUL STUDIO

Early Morning Coffee Date

Depending on when hair and makeup begin for you and your bridal party, this option may mean an earlier-than-normal wake-up. But if you and your groom-to-be are eager to see each other, exchange gifts, and say “I love you” before the day begins, waking up with the sun may be a great option. Sneak away with your fiance for a cup of coffee to start your wedding day. This is a time to share complete privacy, authenticity, and emotional preparation.

First Look or First Touch

We have previously published several pieces discussing “Reasons to Have a First Look” and perspectives from a photographer including “Recommendations for a First Look” and “5 Things to Know.” In consideration of the time together, a first look or first touch is a moment not only to capture significant photographs, but to also savor a moment of solitude together.  

The Getaway Car

You say I do, share a kiss as husband and wife, walk down the aisle to the applause of family and friends, then… are swallowed into the demands of photographers and guests. Rather than waiting at the back of the church for the next order of business, consider enlisting a getaway car for a quick spin around the block. A five-minute drive offers a private moment to catch your breath and soak in the reality of your new rings and your new vocation. If a car is not an appropriate option for your venue, plan to step into a side room of the church while guests process out.

A Private Meal Before the Reception

Being intentional about eating a meal between the wedding and reception is recommended to maintain your energy and blood sugar. If possible, consider the option of enjoying a private meal as newlyweds. Regardless of what you eat—whether a plate prepared by the caterer or a take out meal on your way to the venue—the most important aspect is creating time to slow down and be together throughout your wedding day.

Freeze Frame the Reception  

Some of the greatest advice my husband and I received before our wedding was to step away from the reception before the day comes to an end. In taking this advice, we found a chance to laugh together and share how full our hearts felt—then go back inside to continue celebrating with family and friends. Creating this kind of intentional pause helps to break the day into compartmentalized segments, allowing you to remember specific details of each “chapter” as opposed to recollecting the day in one big blur.

We would love to hear: when did you and your beloved create a moment of pause on your wedding day? Share your experiences with our community on Facebook or Instagram.

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About the Author: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband, Geoff, a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal (…with dessert). Read more

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Spoken Bride Vendors | Spotlight, Vol. 2

We are proud to serve you through the Spoken Bride Vendor Guide, the first online resource for distinctively Catholic wedding vendors: hand-selected professionals from around the U.S. with not only an abundance of talent, but a reverence and passion for the sacrament of marriage that brings a uniquely personal, prayerful dimension to their client experiences.

What’s more, our vendors are truly engaging and fun. With a range of stories, hobbies, and devotions, it’s our privilege to share who they are and connect them with their ideal clients--you, faithful Catholic couples who are energized by working with like-minded, prayerful individuals. Each month, we’ll be introducing, or re-introducing, you to members of Spoken Bride’s vendor community, and we encourage you to learn more through their full vendor listings.

Our featured May Vendors (click to jump)

Extended Hands
Kelli Seeley Photography
Evan Kristiansen Photography
Visual Rose Productions

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Extended Hands

Stationery & Hand Lettering; Columbus, Ohio and serving the continental U.S.

The mission of Extended Hands is “to create invitations that are tailored to witness the beauty of the Catholic sacraments.” Owner Shea Santho, a professional graphic designer, uses rich materials to reflect the significance of her clients’ occasions, loves hearing her couples’ dating and proposal stories, and prays for them throughout their engagement.

Shea shares, “it’s an invitation that seeks the communion of others to share with them in a sacred sacrament! It’s an invitation that will bring others home to the Church, in front of Jesus in the Eucharist!  Whether [wedding] guests are practicing Catholics, fallen-away Catholics, or have never even stepped inside a Catholic Church before, a couple’s wedding day--and ultimately their marriage--is a witness to the Catholic faith. The invitation is the first glimpse their guests will see that makes a statement in itself, on what the sacrament of marriage means to them.”

Favorite movie: One of my favorites would have to be Little Women.  My sister and I grew up as competitive figure skaters and performed to the soundtrack, and it has become a tradition for us to watch the movie with our mom the weekend before Christmas Eve and wrap presents together.

Favorite wedding-day memory: I find myself replaying moments of the day in my mind all the time: meeting my husband at the altar, saying our vows, when the priest prayed over us for the nuptial blessing and again at the final blessing, walking down the aisle as a married couple for the very first time, walking out of the church with family and friends cheering in celebration. So many precious moments.

Go-to prayer: I have always had a special devotion to Our Lady, particularly Our Lady of Medjugorje.  I love praying the rosary. My favorite rosary mystery has always been the first joyful mystery, the Annunciation.  I love so many prayers, but my favorite prayer would probably be the Hail Mary. I love the words because they are the words the angel spoke to Our Lady at the Annunciation and Elizabeth’s words at the Visitation.  Three Hail Mary’s and the Memorare are often my on the spot, go-to prayers.

Learn more about Extended Hands

Kelli Seeley Photography

Photography; Sacramento, California

A self-described lover of film and fine art, and of people and love stories, Kelli took her first photography class at 14 years old. She began second-shooting weddings after her college graduation, and launched her own business the following year, shooting fine art-style images on film and digital with a timeless sensibility. As a wife and mother, Kelli views her God-given talent as a part of her life’s call, understanding the graces that flow from balance and rightly ordered priorities: “My Catholic faith is the #1 priority in my life. From that understanding, I believe I am called first to my vocation to my own marriage and as a mother to my children. I also feel God has called me to be a photographer, so by his grace and the support of my family, I am able to pursue and run my business. I pray before every shoot, and I pray before responding to wedding inquiries that God’s will will be done. My desire is to do his will in all things, so I completely surrender my business to him.”

I’m inspired by: love, family, truth and beauty. I am inspired by the imperfections of life here on earth because they unite us in our humanity. I am inspired by authentic emotion and freezing a moment with my camera so it can be remembered forever.

Favorite foods: Pizza, salad, and burritos. And you can never have enough avocados on all of those things!

Love means...Sacrifice. Helping your beloved get to heaven. Willing the good of the other. Discovering [your spouse’s] love language and doing little things to show them care and affection.

Learn more about Kelli Seeley Photography

Evan Kristiansen Photography

Photography; Boston, Massachusetts and Greater New England; available for travel.

With 15 years’ photography experience, including 6 years of shooting weddings, Evan is a seasoned pro who consistently discovers a sense of comfort and fast friendship with his Catholic clients--through communication and a shared faith, he finds they share common goals and boundaries with their photography and is inspired by their witness: “[I find] hope in the institution of marriage, the church, and in God that they display when they're at the altar on their wedding day. It is nothing short of miraculous, and stands in stark contrast to the culture around them...You don't meet a lot of cynics at weddings. I think this is because people subconsciously recognize the universal good of marriage, and what it represents. I think it's wonderfully "countercultural" to commit to someone for life.” Evan loves working with Catholic couples, making it his mission “to provide my clients with a wedding photographer that doesn't just know wedding photography, but also knows the Mass, and God.”

On my bucket list: I'd love to do the Camino, I'd like to get married (God willing!), and I'd like to run an Iron Man triathlon (I've got a half coming up!).

Favorite place I’ve traveled: I love traveling back to my home country of Norway. I grew up there as a kid, and there's something that just feels...homey about it. It's also one of the most beautiful countries on earth. It's worth going just for the hiking!

Also, when I visited Assisi last year it was one of the best experiences of my spiritual life thus far, and I would love to spend more time in rural Italy.

Favorite saints: My confirmation saint is St. Olav (Olaf) the Holy, of Norway. I have devotions to St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Albert the Great, and St. Augustine--I pray for their intercession regularly.

Learn more about Evan Kristiansen Photography

Visual Rose Productions

Videography; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, and Washington, D.C.; available for travel.

A self-taught videographer with more than 5 years’ experience, Visual Rose founder Nick DeRose--a husband and a father of three--understands and reveres the bond of faith he shares with his Catholic clients. “There is just something special filming those kind of weddings,” he says. “It just makes everything super authentic. The way the relationship was formed and how [the bride and groom] go about the wedding day allows me to film it such a beautiful way.” Fittingly, Nick describes his work as “authentic, simple, and joyful,” knowing wedding videography becomes more and more of a gift over time: on sharing a couple’s highlight video with them for the first time, Nick says, “[I love] giving them something to cherish as a keepsake they can show their future kids as they grow their family.”

I’m most inspired by: Prayer and being around my family. My wife and I have three kids; seeing them and their joy is very inspirational to me. Beautiful music is also very important and is always a huge inspiration.

Favorite saints: Mary and Joseph.

Love means...an act of the will. Giving yourself to one another regardless of how you feel.

Learn more about Visual Rose Productions

Editors Share | First Dance Songs

The first dance as husband and wife is often the most awaited part of a wedding reception. It is a special and romantic moment between the newlyweds and it highlights the unique personality of the couple.

In this month’s Editors Share, our team remembers their first dance and explains why they chose their song.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MEL WATSON PHOTOGRAPHY

Stephanie Calis, Co-founder & Editor in Chief

My husband and I danced to the song “You are the One” by Matt Hires, which had come on my iPod as we drove to a holy hour one night during our engagement. It’s a sweet, simple song that still brings back precious memories, but the truth is, we were too shy to set our first dance to the one we truly felt defined us! The ideal selection, for us, was “In My Arms” by Jon Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot. Despite our love for it we ultimately felt too shy to use such a quiet song, with such intimate lyrics, in front of all our guests. For any couples like us hesitating to choose particular reception music because of self-consciousness, I’d encourage you to communicate and discern what you’re comfortable with and to pray for a sense of freedom with the necessary attention your wedding day brings!

Andi Compton, Business Director

We chose Matt Maher’s version of “Set Me As A Seal” because we simply liked the song. I wish I had a deeper explanation, but we both just felt like it was the right song. We ended up having a dance choreographed. If you know my husband, you know that we’re complete opposites. I love to dance, he likes to not dance. But for me he was willing to take ballroom dancing lessons and perform in front of our families..

Jiza Zito, Co-Founder and Creative Director

My husband and I chose “Accidentally in Love” by Counting Crows. Mark and I had a stressful engagement since he was serving overseas with his military command, all up until a few days before the wedding, so we wanted something fun and upbeat. Mark was also an avid swing dancer during his college years at the United States Naval Academy, which we got to enjoy together a few times during our courtship, so we wanted to share that part of our relationship with our friends and family on our wedding day as well.

Stephanie Fries, Associate Editor

For our first dance, we moved in sync with Michale Buble’s “Hold On.” My husband suggested many ideas for our first dance song, but many focused on the beauty of the bride or the groom’s love for his bride; I was uncomfortable choosing a wedding song about the bride. This song was a great fit because it captures the essence of the mutual and reciprocal love of a married couple. The lyrics also serve as a reminder to grow in affirming physical touch in the midst of stress, frustration, sadness, and joy. Although physical touch is not my number one love language, a good hug often breaks through heavy emotional tension. As this song builds up to its finale, it reinforces the power of holding onto love in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, ‘till death do us part.

Though we both enjoy jumping around during spontaneous dance parties, neither of us are organized dancers. With that in mind, we invested in dance classes at a local studio—and loved every second. Beyond the benefits of feeling confident in our plan for our first dance, lessons were also a special opportunity to learn something new, be challenged, move our bodies and laugh together in preparation for our wedding day.

Mariah Maza, Features Editor

Our first dance song was “God Gave Me You,” the version performed by Blake Shelton. My husband and I first met when we were 14 and high school sweethearts, and we were a country couple. On our first date he drove me to dinner in his white Chevy pickup truck in blue jeans, boots, and all. Many, many years and a wedding later, we still own that truck!

When we decided to pick “our song” for our relationship (which was definitely inspired by Taylor Swift’s 2009 single by the same name — released only the year before!), we decided on two requirements: the melody needed to mention God and needed to be a country song. I suggested “God Gave Me You,” and it became the song we grew up with together, from the age of 14 to (now) 23.

A couple years before we got married, I taught my husband how to country dance, and it is now one of our favorite things to do together. So when our wedding day finally arrived, seven years after we met, we country danced to the song we fell in love to as high school freshmen.

Carissa Pluta, Editor at Large

My husband and I chose the song “God Moves Through You” by Jason Mraz for our first dance. My husband has been a Mraz fan for a long time, which is how he first heard this song; Jason Mraz actually wrote it for his sister’s wedding so it’s not on any of his albums. It’s a really beautiful song, and was adapted from a collection of poems by Kahlil Gibran.

One of my favorite lines from the song is: “Let the wind of heaven dance between you too/Allow the space and time to bring you closer to everlasting love.” The song speaks of the love between a husband and a wife being a movement of God, a grace working in your life. We also loved that it also speaks of children as a gift.

Since it isn’t on an album, our friend Steve the Missionary offered to play it on his ukulele and sing it live during our reception. It was such a memorable moment from that day.

Mary Wilmot, Social Media Manager

In the last couple weeks before our wedding, Patrick and I decided we really needed to sit down and make a decision on our first dance song. We never really had a song in the five years of our friendship/dating relationship, so we didn’t have too many ideas. One afternoon, while hanging out in my parents’ kitchen, we ended up Googling “First Dance Song Ideas” and decided to just go through the list until something resonated with us. We stumbled across “That’s How Strong My Love Is” by Otis Redding and both really liked it.

I love that it’s soulful and with a beat, but still a slow song that makes it easy to dance and sing along to. We actually ended up taking a couple of dance classes at Fred Astaire with a Groupon I had purchased. In the end, I think we just decided to sway to the music, not worrying about counting steps, but it was still fun!

I have no regrets about our choice, but funnily enough, we were just talking a couple weeks ago about our first dance. We said we probably would have picked the 1998 classic “All My Life” by K-Ci and JoJo if we had thought of it at the time!

Danielle Rother, Pinterest Manager

Our first dance was inspired by the waltz in Disney’s live-action Cinderella, where Ella greets the Prince on the dance floor in her beautiful blue ballgown for the first time. Since we wanted to dance a traditional waltz we looked through a variety of instrumental songs that had the right ¾ time signature we needed for the dance. As I was searching for songs I came across, "The Princess Diaries Waltz," by John Debney from the score of The Princess Diaries. After listening to it I knew, in my heart, it was the right song for us.

The Princess Diaries is a favorite childhood movie I watched growing up with my maternal grandmother, who passed away in 2012. One of her biggest dreams was to see me get married. While I wish she had lived longer to see me take my marriage vows, this song made me feel close to her on our special day.

Dancing a waltz at our wedding was an incredible experience and it was everything I had hoped for. Jeff and I had practiced dancing for many hours during our engagement and it certainly paid off! During the dance, I felt like I was flying and it was truly magical.

Now that we are married, I am still practicing the art of dance through life as a married couple. It may not always be as graceful as it was on our wedding day. Occasionally we may stumble. But it’s good to know that as long as we have each other we can make it through anything together.

Tasha Johnson, Administrative Assistant

A couple of years ago, I got to fly across the country to attend the wedding of two former missionary teammates of mine. I served with the husband my first year and the wife my second, so I had really gotten to know them separately, and it was such a joy to finally see them together.

Their choice of Matt Maher’s “Hold Us Together” was a perfect fit for their small, intimate wedding, because it was so evident that their love for each other was already something fruitful; it really spoke to the care they had taken to welcome all of us to share life with them throughout their courtship, and even especially in the days leading up to the wedding! It was definitely a fun song to watch them twirl and dip to, but it was even more so a reminder of the ways their relationship had already served as a shelter, both for them and for those of us who had the honor of walking through life’s storms with them. It was an absolutely beautiful theme for the first day of the rest of their lives!