Join Our Team | Newsletter Manager & Shop Manager

We are excited to announce we are expanding the Spoken Bride team! We’re eager to work with individuals who share in our passion for Catholic marriage, with an eye for beauty and a voice of authenticity.

Spoken Bride is seeking a Shop Manager and Newsletter Manager and is accepting applications through October 23.

Our ideal candidates are collaborative-minded servant leaders with original, creative takes on Catholic wedding-related content and an eye for growing and expanding Spoken Bride’s ministry. 

Above all, candidates should have a heart for Spoken Bride’s mission and for the sacrament of marriage. Experience with writing, digital marketing/PR, weddings, and/or theology is ideal.

Feeling called to apply? Find information and application forms for each position below.

Newsletter Manager

The Newsletter Manager will work closely with the Business Director and Editor in Chief to design, compose, schedule, and send a bimonthly newsletter to Spoken Bride’s email subscribers, offering exclusive content and promoting products and events.

Shop Manager

The Shop Manager will oversee the Spoken Bride Shop by maintaining and updating product listings and providing customer service. This individual will work closely with Spoken Bride’s Business Director to share analytics and employ effective strategies for increased sales and growth.

Each of these positions requests a one-year commitment and is compensated.

We look forward to hearing from you! Thank you for considering sharing your gifts and experience with Spoken Bride, and be assured of our prayers.

Fall Wedding Reads for Anne Shirley Fans

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

Lucy Maud Montgomery is most famous for her novel Anne of Green Gables, but she was a prolific writer, working for decades on full-length novels and numerous short stories. Montgomery did not have a happy childhood or a particularly happy marriage; however, her fiction centers around marriage and family life, both the happy and unhappy. There is even an anthology of short stories completely dedicated to marriage, titled At the Altar: Matrimonial Tales. Below are my recommendations for full-length novels that are also cozy fall reads with a good marriage plot.

Photography: Red Fern Photography, seen in Ada + Greg | Texas Vintage Wedding

The Blue Castle

The Blue Castle is one of Montgomery’s few novels written specifically for adults; it tells the story of Valancy Stirling, a 21-year old “old maid” with an overbearing family. When Valancy is diagnosed with a fatal heart condition and given just a year to live, she decides to leave her mother’s home, first to work as housekeeper for a gravely ill childhood friend.

When her friend dies, Valancy then proposes to and marry Barney Snaith, a mysterious man whom her family is convinced is a criminal. Though Barney is not in love with her when they marry, Valancy and Barney spend the rest of Valancy’s last year getting to know each other and enjoying each others’ company during long hours spent in nature.

The beautiful descriptions of the long Canadian winter make this a great cold weather read, but I love this book particularly for Valancy and Barney’s relationship. Valancy does not value the same things as her family—money and class status—and in Barney, she finds a kindred spirit and feels as if she can finally truly be herself. They both love the natural world and Barney teaches her how to see things she never would have noticed on her own.

Though they live in a tiny house and don’t have much in the way of material possessions, they live on an island in the woods where they have vast expanses of nature to explore, and their friendship deepens through their time spent together, which is a lovely reflection on the importance of friendship in marriage, and the culmination of this story has a twist which wonderfully caps off Valancy’s last year.

Anne of Windy Poplars

This fourth novel in the Anne of Green Gables series is not always as highly regarded as the rest of the novels, but don’t let that be a deterrent. It’s set during Anne and Gilbert’s long-distance engagement while she teaches and he is in medical school, so about half of the novel is comprised of her letters to him about her life as a teacher at Summerside High School and boarder at Windy Poplars, a home owned by two elderly widows.

During her three years in Summerside, Anne has a number of clashes with the well-connected and numerous Pringle family, but also makes a number of friends whom she is able to help, either by alleviating their loneliness or helping along engagements and marriages.

I’ve always loved this novel because, despite being engaged, Anne isn’t solely focused on wedding planning or waiting for her life with Gilbert to begin.

While she does make mention of missing him and wanting to be together, she’s also fully present in her life as a teacher and resident of Windy Poplars. She befriends students who are left out, the little girl who lives next door, and various other neighbors, as well as being an active member of the larger community, even though she knows her time there is limited.

Being impatient for marriage while you’re engaged isn’t uncommon, but it’s refreshing to have an engagement story that doesn’t focus completely on that impatience, and as the next novel shows,
their years of working and being separated make that first year of marriage even sweeter.

Mistress Pat

Mistress Pat is the companion novel to Pat of Silver Bush, the story of Patricia (Pat) Gardiner and her childhood growing up at Silver Bush farm on Prince Edward Island. As Mistress Pat begins, Pat is in her twenties and still not willing to contemplate leaving her beloved family home to get married and start her own family.

Years pass, and though Pat considers marrying several times, she can’t find anyone for whom she wants to move away from Silver Bush; eventually, her sisters and brothers all marry, and an emergency forces Pat to reevaluate her insistence on remaining in her childhood home.

Novels that center on happy homes are always cozy, but I also like Mistress Pat for fall because it is an interesting look at marriage and family life; the title comes from the role Pat plays in her family, as her mother is an invalid and so Pat, the second-eldest daughter, has taken on most of the household management since she is unmarried. In one sense, that is why she’s not in a hurry to marry; she loves her home and family and she’s already running a house, but she also hates change, and marriage would mean change.

Pat also can’t imagine marrying someone who doesn’t value what she values, much like Valancy in The Blue Castle, a point that is driven home when her brother Sid, who has been jilted by his fiancée, suddenly marries May Binnie, a pretty girl who makes his life, and the lives of the Gardiner family, much more difficult. Before they’ve been married a year, they begin to fight constantly, and Pat almost gets married herself just to get away from them. Sid has clearly married May based on her looks and doesn’t consider that his marriage will be for life. There are other relatively quick marriages in the novel, like Pat’s sister Rae, but because Rae’s fiancé is good, to quote Anne Shirley, their marriage is happy.

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About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Turning to the Eucharist When Physical Intimacy is Complicated

KIKI HAYDEN

If you, like me, are in a situation that doesn’t allow full sexual union with your spouse, you are not alone. You are worthy of love and fidelity, and your marriage is a beautiful icon of God’s graces. Through prayer, this cross can bring you and your beloved closer to Jesus and each other.

Whatever the reason for abstaining, and no matter how long the period of abstinence lasts, know this: your marriage is blessed—with or without sexual intercourse.

Photography: Amy and Kyle Catholic Photography

God provides graces through the sacrament of marriage, even when sexual intercourse isn’t an option or doesn’t work for some reason. The Catholic Church teaches us that sex is a gift from God, which means we are not entitled to it nor is it required of us. And the good news is that through prayer, God can provide all the graces of a physical sacrament even when the sacrament is not available to us. This is true of the Eucharist, and I strongly believe it is also true of sexual intercourse in marriage.

There are many reasons a couple may abstain from intercourse. The beautiful (and healthy!) practice of Natural Family Planning calls for couples to abstain periodically when they do not feel called to seek pregnancy. For some couples, the fertile window is narrow, but for women experiencing irregular menstruation due to difficulty ovulating, the fertile window may last a long time. Military couples are keenly aware of the trials of long term abstinence when one spouse is deployed far away. For some couples, attempts at sexual intercourse do not go as planned and must be left unfinished due to pain or physical limitations. 

Related: One wife’s testimony of fidelity and growth through extended abstinence

In such cases, the Lord calls us to be compassionate with our partners and ourselves. For couples suffering from sexual pain or dysfunction, this period of abstinence may last a long time and occasionally is indefinite. If you are in such a situation, don’t lose hope. The Lord still blesses your marriage abundantly.

Let’s pause to look at another act of physical intimacy: the Eucharist. Jesus allows us to eat His body and blood, soul and divinity. He gets stuck between our teeth. He travels throughout our body to literally nourish us with His own. What could be more intimate than this?

And yet God is not limited or defined by the sacraments. Not even the Eucharist.

There are, unfortunately, many reasons not to attend Mass: work schedules, sickness, lack of access, persecution. And most of us have experienced the absence of the physical sacrament of the Eucharist during the 2020 pandemic.

Does this separation from the Eucharist somehow invalidate our relationship with Jesus or deem it “un-sacramental”? Of course not. As with physical expression of our sexuality, the Eucharist is a gift, not a right. When we truly desire union with Jesus, He can overcome any obstacles to bring us the graces of the sacrament. He can even overcome the obstacle of abstinence itself.

An act of spiritual communion begins with an ardent desire to be united with Jesus. A favorite is this Prayer of Spiritual Communion written by Saint Alphonsus Liguori. Of course, anyone can say a prayer of spiritual communion using their own words. Pope Saint John Paul II wrote, “The practice of “spiritual communion”… has happily been established in the Church for centuries and [is] recommended by saints who were masters of the spiritual life.”

According to Saint Thomas Aquinas in Summa Theologiae, III, “In another way one may eat Christ spiritually, as He is under the sacramental species, inasmuch as a man believes in Christ, while desiring to receive this sacrament; and this is not merely to eat Christ spiritually, but likewise to eat this sacrament.” Fr. Michael Gaitley sums up this teaching of Aquinas beautifully in his book Consoling the Heart of Jesus: “A person who fervently makes such a prayer of spiritual communion can receive the same grace as one who fervently receives Sacramental Communion!”

If God can overcome our abstinence from the Eucharist, He can also overcome our abstinence from sexual intercourse in marriage. Abstinence, even for extended periods of time, does not invalidate a marriage nor somehow “block” God from giving a couple the full graces of the sacrament.

I propose a new kind of prayer, modeled on the act of spiritual communion: the act of spiritual union.

This is a prayer for spouses in a time of abstinence, whether by choice or forced circumstance, whether briefly or for extended periods of time. Here is an example that my husband and I pray frequently:

“Lord, we believe You have called us into the vocation of marriage. Although we do not have access to physical intercourse right now, we trust in You. Please grant us the full graces and unity of marriage so our love for each other may bring us closer to Your Sacred Heart.”

This prayer may not take away the pain and longing spouses feel during a time of abstinence. But it can certainly bring a marriage closer to Jesus. And growing in faith together is a beautiful way to live out the vocation of marriage.

One last thought: if you and your beloved struggle sexually or are in a period of extended abstinence, remember that the Holy Family, the very model of marriage, was an abstinent relationship. The Virgin Mary and Joseph her Most Chaste Spouse can pray with you and for you.

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About the Author: Kiki Hayden is a freelance writer and bilingual Speech Therapist living in Texas. She is a Byzantine Catholic. 

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It's Okay that NFP is Hard.

BRIDGET BUSACKER

“It’s like the honeymoon phase, over and over again.”

But, what if it’s hard? What if the season feels unending and the sacrifice of Natural Family Planning (NFP) can feel like it’s pulling your marriage apart rather than together?

Photography: Laurentina Photography + Video

But, if it feels scary or intimidating, it’s okay. You’re not alone, physically or spiritually.

What does this mean? It means that there are providers to walk with you to help you learn a method and ask questions (or to switch if the method or individual you’re working with just isn’t a good fit).

It means there is support available through great therapists. It means that Jesus understands the ache, the pain, of giving and hurting and—ultimately—loving to the end.

When we sugarcoat NFP, we sugarcoat the cross. We miss the mark of its purpose and we forget the true nature of NFP. It is a tool meant to sanctify us. It’s not meant to make everything comfortable and easy because we are not made for comfort in this life, we are made for greatness to become saints and to shed ourselves of the vices we struggle with and the sins we commit.

We can’t do this only with our spouse. We need Christ at the center. When we practice NFP, Jesus must be at the center of our marriage, so that when the storms come and the hardships hit us, we not only find ways to lean into each other, we lean into Jesus - the One who knows suffering so deeply and knows what it means to suffer out of love, too.

Romans 12:1-2: “I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Our bodies are a living sacrifice of love to each other, to God, in the great mystery of sex and the “yes” we give when we are open to new life. NFP asks us not to be conformed to this age of birth control, but to the renewal of love as God intended it and created us for. It challenges us to live out a love of responsible parenthood, abstinence during the fertile phase, discernment, prayer, and asking God to be actively a part of your sex life.

These are not easy or light—these can sometimes feel like great burdens to carry, but remember that Christ took it upon Himself to carry your burdens, your ache, your hurt on his way to Calvary, ultimately being nailed to the Cross to make us new.

NFP is capable of making us new, encouraging us to grow in virtue, and challenging us to grow in love.

Not a romantic comedy kind of love that promotes quick flings, fast relationships, and cheap sex, but rather faithfulness, permanence, and abiding love physically and emotionally with your spouse.

So, when we say that NFP is easy or beautiful, it’s true; it can be. But, if you’re struggling or find it hard, that’s okay, too. It means your love is being refined and, although not fun or comfortable, you are being asked to participate in the greatness of real, deep love.

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About the Author: Bridget Busacker is a public health communications professional and founder of Managing Your Fertility, a one-stop shop for NFP/FABM resources for women and couples. She is married to her wonderful husband, David, and together they have a sweet daughter.

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Newlywed Life | Checking in with Honors

KATE THIBODEAU

Every Sunday morning, my husband and I set aside time for a weekly check-in. We eat brunch, bring our coffee to the couch and sit. It’s a welcome ritual, a reprieve from the hustle and bustle of busy weeks and schedules.

PHOTOGRAPHY: KARLY JO PHOTOGRAPHY

We adopted this idea from a fellow couple, whose marriage is a bit more seasoned than our own. The point of the weekly check-in is to prioritize communication between the husband and wife in all areas (relationship, work, kids, faith, schedules, budget, etc). We use an agenda sheet to boot--which makes it quite official and structured!

Beginning this weekly check-in, we felt stilted and forced. It was great for practical uses and creating unity in our weekly schedules, however, we initially found asking the questions in our agenda to be awkward. 

1. What are two ways your spouse honored you last week?

2. What two ways did you try to honor your spouse last week? 

In our very first meeting, we stumbled over these questions. Who used the word “honor” in this way anymore? There’s something medieval--biblical--in it. Furthermore, what does honoring one another  truly mean to the modern Catholic couple? How are we to honor our spouses? What does that look like in practice? 

In a Catholic wedding Mass, the spouses vow to honor each other all the days of their lives. If you’re like me, you remember a blur of saying your vows on the altar; but while you promised yourself body and soul to your spouse, you did not take time to consider the meaning of “honoring” your spouse. I associated that word with something celestial. Maybe it meant placing your spouse above all worldly things, showing him the utmost respect and consideration. I had a vague understanding of the term, but an incomplete idea as to how that played out in the every day. 

The first several weeks of our meetings, my husband and I would half-heartedly laugh as we repeated the words of the prompt: “I noticed that you honored me...” or, “I tried to honor you by….”

This particular phrase became a sort of joke when we went about our daily activities and showed love by begrudgingly doing a chore for the other: “I’m honoring you by taking out the trash tonight,” and,“I was going to complain about this (minor inconvenience), but I won’t to honor you.” These moments gave us many a chuckle, and were passed. Sometimes we brought them up at our meetings, but for the most part they remained a running joke.

After several weeks of stumbling through  this ritual, I started to notice a difference in our meetings. Sharing was less awkward and formal, and we were beginning to learn more about each other. Vocalizing the moments we felt or showed honor was a window into the daily thoughts and actions of love we felt for each other, both mundane and extraordinary. Some Sundays I was surprised to hear the ways my husband chose to honor me, especially in actions that went unnoticed.

I was humbled and moved by his attention to my moods, my needs, my masked cries for help that past week. Some of the ways he honored me were simple, like picking up a pint of ice cream at the store (I usually noticed this), and some were more subtle and abstract, like listening to me vent when he could have used a turn at the mic himself.

We were able to name the little moments in which we actively chose to love and honor each other and recognize the ways in which we accepted this honor. This was more than a recognized pat on the back for ourselves: “I lived another day to out-honor my spouse”, but rather, a way to say: “I see you, I love you. I am trying to honor you. Help me to honor you better this week.”

Our personal love languages became more apparent and we were challenged to honor one another in ways that we truly desired to be loved and served, not just in ways that came most naturally to ourselves.

Similarly, our week-days apart and engaged in work became more devotedly invested in honoring each other. Maybe this would look simple, like preparing a favorite dish, or scrubbing a toilet after work, but the littleness of the action did not take away from the significance it held in our relationship.

I began to see my husband with a true servant’s heart, and I, in turn, wanted to honor him in a variety of different ways. I wanted to live each day of my week honoring him--and consequently, honoring the source and summit of our union: our Lord.

Additionally, our weekly meetings became more than an airing of grievances or a conference, but a vocalization of the ways in which we felt served, listened to, loved, suffered, and prayed for. We brought to light the struggles of our weeks and the victories and blessings that God gifted us. Our cups were filled by communicating not only the events of our weeks, but specifically where our family was headed and what particular areas were in need of work or healing.

Vowing to honor our spouses and living that out through our vocation is not always easy. It can be done in little or great actions. St. Therese is a great advocate for loving God in seemingly small or simple ways, and she serves as a model to us in our marriage

In honoring our spouses, we are actively choosing to see Christ in our beloved, and offering ourselves in service to them. Just as we should try to check-in with God through the sacraments, prayer, and adoration, it is imperative that we check-in with our spouses to see where they are and what help they need in their journey. Communication is as essential to marriage as honor is to God--and we hold them both dearly in this plight of vocation.

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About the Author: Recently married to her best friend and partner towards salvation, Kate Thibodeau is learning how to best serve her vocation as a wife while using her God-given talents. Mama to heavenside baby, Charlotte Rose, and new Baby Lizzy, Kate has an English degree from Benedictine College, and strives to live the Benedictine motto: that in all things, God may be glorified. Kate loves literature, romance, teaching, wedding planning, and building a community of strong Catholic women.

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5 Ways to Be Intentional in a Season of Transition

KATHERINE FINNEY

Throughout the short five years I’ve been married, my husband and I have moved four times in three cities--spread across different regions of the country, he’s been through three stages of medical training and job relocation, and we’ve had two kids--with one on the way. That’s a lot of transitions.

PHOTOGRAPHY: HORN PHOTOGRAPHY

Transitions are a normal part of relationships, but they can really wear us out and add a lot of unnecessary stress to our lives. I believe that if we approach transitions with intentionality—that is, with a sense of conviction and preparedness about how to handle transitions well—we will find a lot of grace hidden in the middle of the chaos. I’ve brainstormed a few ways to be intentional with your beloved during a major period of change:

Pray for each other. 

This seems obvious, but it’s often the thing that goes out of the window first. Wake up a little earlier (even if it’s just five or ten minutes), go to bed a little later, pray in the car out loud, whatever you have to do to make prayer a priority in this time. 

When everything else around you feels like it’s changing, there’s Someone who isn’t. Our relationship with God is the most important thing in our lives, and that doesn’t change during times of transition. Make it a priority to talk to God about the changes, and surrender the things that feel out of your control to him. Without prayer, you won’t be able to have a way to re-center; things will feel overwhelming, and temptation to despair will be very strong. You may find yourself despairing your relationship with your spouse. 

You may begin to doubt your own abilities as a capable spouse, parent, employee, etc. In order to keep these doubts and discouragements away as much as possible (because they’ll come no matter what sometimes), we need God to show us who he is and to show us who we are in his eyes. This comes through daily intentional prayer.

Be patient with your spouse. 

Look for ways he/she is still the person you fell in love with, no matter how much time has passed. Maybe you fell in love with your spouse’s ability to hold a captive audience in a group of people. Maybe you fell in love with his/her love of dancing or reading or fine art. Perhaps your spouse makes you laugh the most of anyone you know. Look for the ways your spouse still possesses these qualities and remind yourself that this person is still the person you fell in love with. 

It may feel like everything else around you is changing, including yourself and your spouse, but reminding yourself of who your spouse really is to you will help you stay united in the midst of the changes.

Try harder than before to speak your spouse’s love language. 

Leave notes for him/her if it’s words of affirmation. If it’s physical touch, give him/her a big hug after a long day of work. If your spouse really needs acts of service, look for ways to help that you know he/she would appreciate. Sometimes stepping outside of our own worries and anxieties to serve others really puts things into a positive perspective for us and helps us to stay less focused on ourselves and our own sorrows and more on what really matters.

Pick up some of the slack around the house (if you are physically able). 

There will be seasons when you are the one in need of help around the house; if that’s the season you’re in, embrace it. If, however, your spouse is the one primarily going through the changes, voluntarily pick up the slack around the house before it becomes a point of contention for you both. 

Sometimes I find myself waiting for my spouse to change a diaper or do the dishes, and I end up resenting him when he’s too busy to do it. Often I need to change my perspective and notice the things he is already doing to help. More often, I have an opportunity to be merciful and steadfast in my duties. If I can do this voluntarily and preemptively before resentment starts to grow in my heart, I find a lot of grace to do things I otherwise would deem too difficult.

Get your spouse (and maybe even yourself) a treat. 

My husband loves when I make him a homemade cocktail. That’s easy enough as long as we have the ingredients. Maybe some flowers or a thrifted book would be a good way to show your spouse you’re thinking of him/her and enduring this time of transition together. Brainstorming ideas for this can be fun too!

Overall, times of transition are often just really difficult. Sometimes we’ll feel like we have a good grip on what’s going on, and other times we’ll just need to ride the chaos until we feel settled again. Don’t forget to pray, and everything else will take care of itself.

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About the Author: Katherine (Schluter) Finney is proudly from New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Nashville, Tennessee while her husband Jonathan finishes fellowship training. She and Jonathan have two daughters, Miriam (3) and Joan (18 months). Kat taught high school religion for four years and has worked for Catholic high schools for six years. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, and she spends most of her time styling hamster play-doh hair and cooking some kind of creole dish for dinner.

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Cooking through the Liturgical Year

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

As a newlywed, I struggled with how to incorporate liturgical living into our lives. The traditions I was familiar with, crafts and storybooks and the like, are geared towards teaching children about the saints and the seasons of the church year. We had received an Advent wreath as a wedding present, but, beyond that, I didn’t have a vision of how to anchor our lives into the church year; we didn’t have a list of family patrons whose feast days we desired to celebrate and I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of feast days that we could celebrate.

After a few years of floundering--including several before our son was born when I made my convert husband put out his shoes for St. Nicholas, since he didn’t get to do that as a child--I’ve started to think about participating in the liturgical year in a simpler way. This practice will undoubtedly get more complex as our family grows, but an easy way for me to think about living liturgically right now is through our menus, choosing simple foods like soup and bread during penitential seasons and going all out during feasting seasons. Here are some cookbooks our family has tried that help me do just that.

Advent

12 Months of Monastery Soups by Brother Victor Antoine d’Avila-Latourrette

I discovered this cookbook at the library one fall when we were part of a vegetable co-op through my husband’s work. With its recipes grouped by month and focused on using seasonally available produce, it quickly became a staple in my meal planning rotation. All of the soups are simple, with just a few steps beyond chopping the produce, and some months even have soups named for particular saints. During Advent, any of the fall or winter soups, served with some bread and perhaps fruit, would make a delightful, filling meal that is both cozy and fitting for a penitential season. 

Lent

This Good Food: Contemporary French Vegetarian Recipes from a Monastery Kitchen by Brother Victor Antoine d’Avila-Latourrette Another seasonal cookbook from the same monastery, this one is also filled with recipes that are just as easy as the soups and don’t use lots of exotic ingredients, since the monastery aims to be as self-sufficient as possible. In this cookbook, Brother Victor also includes suggestions for how the monks would serve the dishes; the Italian frittata might be served with salad and fruit as the main meal on a fast day, for example. Using seasonal ingredients is often more cost-effective, as they are in plentiful supply and therefore less expensive, which makes this a perfect cookbook to utilize during Lent, when many people try to make more money available for charitable giving.

Easter and Christmas: 

Holiday and Celebration Bread in Five Minutes a Day by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois

This is one of our favorite cookbooks for special feast days; like the original cookbook, the base dough recipes are simple and mix up in five minutes, but they are then used in a variety of recipes that range from simple to complex. One of our family favorites is the brioche dough; we’ve used it to make the Holiday Star Bread for Christmas and Easter, as well as making it the base for our king cake on Fat Tuesday and birthday danishes. I like having a few tried-and-true recipes for special feast days and holidays, and I’ve learned not to be afraid of attempting complicated recipes for special occasions, because practice makes those dishes easier to produce each time.

Drinking with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Holy Happy Hour by Michael P. Foley

This recipe book is a fun way for adults who drink alcohol to participate in the liturgical calendar; Foley has gathered drink recipes and paired them with brief biographies of saints and descriptions of feast days. The first section of the book is arranged by month, with another section of the book for the seasons of the church year, so you have lots of options for how to approach this style of liturgical living. He does use the old pre-Vatican II calendar because there are more saints’ days on it, but there is an appendix in the back that allows you to switch to the newer calendar, which is the one that most people use. The introduction explains how to use the book, which is excellent if you’re novice cocktail makers like us, and the author discusses how to temperately use the book. 

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About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Side Effects of NFP: Stronger Communication and Deeper Intimacy

BRIDGET BUSACKER

“Doesn’t talking about sex all the time remove the sponteineity?” 

I couldn’t help but wonder if Natural Family Planning (NFP) would drain the fun and spontaneity out of my relationship with my husband. The movies never showed sex as something thoughtful and planned. And, although I knew sex was sacred and beautiful, no one openly talked about their sex lives with me as an engaged person, so I really didn’t know what to expect. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: SIMPLE HEART PHOTOGRAPHY

The process of picking a method and learning NFP was stressful enough, so I couldn’t help but be apprehensive that it might be just as stressful in practice in our marriage, too. That wasn’t exactly the rom-com experience I grew up watching and definitely didn’t desire a buzzkill effect in the bedroom.

After four years of practicing fertility awareness and learning more about the integration of NFP in our marriage, I learned that NFP isn’t a romance-killer, but rather the ultimate virtue builder and an honest conversation about intimacy, consent, and love. It didn’t kill romance for me, it shifted my skewed perception from a sex-obsessed culture that doesn’t integrate the reality of our personhood into the beautiful gift sex is.

NFP challenges my understanding of intimacy by pushing me to have open conversations about my cycle and my body (including my body image struggles). It is a space that invites me to openness--not just to life, but to my husband’s love. During times of trying to avoid pregnancy (TTA), we are both challenged in how we love each other in order to not get stuck or opt for our individual evenings. The nights we want to be together physically, but know we are not called to have a baby, we have to choose each other in new ways. It can be hard sometimes and we are reminded that this is a choice, not something forced upon us. 

In the moments of frustration, it requires us to refine our love and to get creative with each other. Sometimes, it’s a game night, a movie night with popcorn, a walk around our neighborhood and a stop at our parish’s Adoration Chapel, going to a brewery, playing cards in the park with snacks, reading a book out loud together. These are just a few ways we try to be creative and enjoy each other, being reminded that we don’t just appreciate each other’s bodies, we appreciate the person in front of us who we have the honor to love every day.

NFP pushes me to better understand consent and speak up for myself and my needs. I have to ask myself if I’m “not in the mood”, what are the motivating factors? Am I withholding love or the opportunity for closeness because I am overwhelmed? Do I need to ask for help to share the burden of what is causing me to say “no” (whatever it might be)? Am I tired? Am I feeling unloved in other areas? 

These are never easy questions to ask myself, but it’s necessary for me to get to the root of my reservations, in order to understand if it’s a valid reason or if I’m simply withholding due to other things going on that I need to communicate to my husband. 

Just because we are in a position based on my fertility to have sex while TTA doesn’t mean we have to have sex. NFP challenges both of us to remember that sex is a gift and it is sacred. It isn’t something to check off or abuse or take advantage of the other, but rather refine our hearts and our intentions. We also have a shared responsibility if we are choosing TTA versus trying to conceive (TTC); I have to be honest with myself and my husband about what’s going on emotionally, mentally and physically, and where I think God is calling us next in our marriage. 

This can be really hard to open up so honestly, but it is the great beauty of NFP which allows us to grow in intimacy and relationship by sharing our heart of hearts with someone we love so intricately.

NFP ultimately shifts my perspective about what love really is and how I’m called to love my husband in our marriage. 

Something that we say to each other often is, “We’re on the same team”. This phrase is a game-changer in all aspects of our marriage, but especially in regards to intimacy and sex. Even if we are struggling to agree or one of us may feel we’re in a position to have another child and the other is more hesitant, we are reminded that in order for our marriage to work and for sex to be valued, we have to remember that we ARE on the same team even if we aren’t perfectly aligning in the moment or season. 

This can be incredibly hard and refining and I won’t sugarcoat it: when you hear that NFP helps communication, it may not be in the way you expect it to be. Growing in virtue can be a painful process, but the outcome of pushing together and continuing to choose your spouse allows for beauty and a profound, abiding love to grow.

I was reminded of the reality of my marriage when a priest said, “Sometimes, your spouse is your cross. And, sometimes, you are your spouse’s cross.” But don’t we want to be refined? Don’t we want a beautiful love? Of course we do! We know through our own wounds and hurts that the world offers counterfeit love which never fulfills the deep longing we desire. Only God can ultimately fulfill us; yet, He shares with us the great vocation of marriage as a school of love. It is an education we never graduate from until we get to Heaven. 

Allow NFP to work in your heart, allow God to use this tool to refine your love, improve your communication with your spouse, and ultimately, cheer your teammate onto Heaven, our ultimate goal. 

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If you liked this article, we hope you enjoy this episode of the Spoken Bride podcast featuring Bridget Busacker.

About the Author: Bridget Busacker is a public health communications professional and founder of Managing Your Fertility, a one-stop shop for NFP/FABM resources for women and couples. She is married to her wonderful husband, David, and together they have a sweet daughter.

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Reflecting on Our Engaged Encounter Weekend, Five Years Later

GENEVIEVE ALLEN

Recently, on a sunny pandemic afternoon, my husband Dalton and I pulled out our old workbooks from our Engaged Encounter weekend and read them in our backyard while our kids played outside. Five years before, we had written in these books, completely unaware of what marriage would actually look like in practice. It was sweet and sobering--and often hilarious--to read our responses to the prompts, as young and inexperienced as we were. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: FENIX PDE

To give you some context, our Engaged Encounter weekend took place over three days at a retreat house in Baton Rouge. There were cafeteria lunches, camp beds, and awkward conversations with fellow engaged couples. Three married couples and a priest presided over the activities. Most of the day was structured to be similar to a classroom-style setting, with our instructors telling us personal stories about different topics, such as budgeting, newlywed life, NFP and child-rearing. We would then have “breakout sessions” with our future spouses, in which we would discuss these topics on a personal level.

As you might imagine, the whole weekend was really designed to offer as much as we as a couple were willing to put into it. Dalton and I were earnest, writing extensively in our workbooks and often having conversations that produced tears--usually happy, occasionally frustrated or anxious.

I recommend this pre-cana weekend to anyone who is willing to really commit to using it as a tool to improve communication and trust prior to marriage. After reading through our workbooks again, some seemingly contradictory truths stuck out boldly to me:

You will change.

One thing that stood out to me is how young we seemed in our communication. The idealism oozed out of the pages as we confidently wrote about all of the things we expected marriage to be. There’s also no evidence in our past voices of the deep intimacy that comes with time. My responses were casual and flippant, often glossing over some of the real issues we finally came to discuss only after we were married. 

The kids who filled out those pages were mere outlines of the adults we are today. Who knows how we will change in the next 5, 10, 50 years from now? 

You won’t change.

Despite some of the superficial responses we gave back then, the raw material of our souls is written on those pages. There was a section to fill out about what we perceived to be our biggest flaws, and I was sorry to see, five years later, that mine remain the same.

There was also a section about what gifts we would bring to the marriage. Happily, Dalton and I have both developed a lot of these gifts, far beyond what we might have expected when we first discussed what they were. Dalton’s patience, for example, is seemingly boundless and somehow only increasing as we add more children to our family.

You get to decide.

One of the most fun aspects of the weekend is the time you spend discussing what your future family will look like. How will you celebrate holidays, develop traditions, raise children?

Dalton and I come from wonderful families, but there were a few things we decided we would like to do differently in our own. Like the founding fathers writing out our own Declaration of Independence, the joy and excitement of creating something new leaps off the pages of our workbooks. For example, we decided that we would prioritize family dinner time. We added a clause about occasionally calling an audible for a rare “treat night” where we would order takeout and watch a movie during dinner. We have consistently kept this law and this amendment to this day.

You won’t get to decide.

Our workbooks covered many of the important topics that a couple should discuss before marriage, but there are certain lessons that come only with time and experience. There are some things you won’t get to choose. 

Prior to our marriage, we had never discussed in any meaningful detail some of the most difficult parts of life, including our deepest fears and anxieties. In the five short years we have been married, we have encountered some of these together. When we said our vows at our wedding, the “worse” of “for better or for worse”--sickness, poverty, death--were all theoretical. Although we have no idea what is still to come in our lives and marriage, we still trust in the mercy and love of God--just like the naïve kids we used to be. 

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About the Author: Genevieve currently practices as a lactation consultant and blogs with her sister Kat Finney for The Sister Post, a blog offering two perspectives on everything from spiritual discernment to baby gear. Genevieve and her husband Dalton began dating on the feast of St. Joseph. They have two children.

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The Parallel Paths to Holiness in Religious Life and Marriage

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

On the surface, In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden is about life in a contemplative Benedictine monastery in England. But at its heart, this novel is about the deep joy and peace that come from a vocation well-lived. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: BELINDA JEAN PHOTOGRAPHY

The fictional community is inspired by the author’s experience participating in the daily life of the nuns at Stanbrook Abbey, and the characters in the novel are just as life-like. The beautiful depiction of religious life doesn’t make me regret not becoming a nun, but rather affirms the many ways I strive for holiness in my vocation to marriage. 

Godden takes the personal stories of a few nuns--Philippa Talbot, a wealthy middle-aged civil servant, Cecily Scallon, a young woman who has fought her family to enter the community, and Dame Catherine Ismay, who is elected abbess early in the novel--and interweaves them with the story of the greater community. Their lives are set against the backdrop of the Church immediately before and during the Second Vatican Council (1962-5). The Benedictines have a vow of stability, but that does not mean there are no changes, and Godden’s lyrical prose draws the reader into the world of Brede Abbey as its 96 nuns navigate interpersonal and financial challenges within the “great cycle of the liturgical year with its different words and colors” (105).

The nuns of Brede Abbey are not caricatures or stock characters; their struggles are incredibly real, as is their faith. 

When Dame Catherine is elected abbess--a lifelong office--she panics, thinking of what will now be required of her; her only thought is “I can’t.” She goes to the church to draw strength from Jesus in the tabernacle, and “it was as if a quieting hand was laid on her panic; with her eyes on the small flame that had never gone out since the community came to Brede, she whispered, ‘I can’t,’ but it was acceptance now. ‘I can’t,’ whispered Dame Catherine, ‘so You must’” (165). 

Though few of us married women are able to have the Blessed Sacrament so close by, this episode is a reminder that communication with and abandonment to God ought to be our first recourse in the times of suffering and trial. What a beautiful response to a seemingly unbearable burden: she recognizes her inability to lead alone and asks for God’s help, which comes in many ways, both big and small.

Holiness for the nuns of Brede is found in doing their daily work in addition to spending time in prayer. The Rule of St. Benedict calls for monasteries to be self-sustaining, so there are many tasks, mostly mundane, that must be done for the community to function well, and every nun must attend to her assigned work with diligence: “‘We don’t put much faith in ecstasies here,’ Dame Ursula had told [the postulants]. ‘The nun you see rapt away in church isn’t likely to be the holiest. The holiest one is probably the one you would never notice, because she is simply doing her duty’” (55). 

Married life works in a similar way; a quote often attributed to St. Frances of Rome says, “A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household affairs.” Every time I do a sink full of dishes or my husband takes out the trash, despite whether either of us actually wants to do the work, we have an opportunity to grow in sanctity by serving each other and carrying out the duties of married life. The moments we are interrupted from pleasure to fulfill our vocational duty are opportunities to develop virtue.

These duties often change according to the season of life we’re in; newlyweds have different responsibilities than parents, for example. In addition, the transition from one season to the next can be difficult. 

Families thrive when individuals find creative ways to use their personal talents to benefit the entire family.

The same is true in religious communities: with the exception of abbess, the responsibilities of the nuns change periodically and all of the nuns are asked to use their gifts for the good of the community, even if it is uncomfortable. In Brede, Dame Philippa is asked to become assistant novice mistress after some Japanese postulants enter the community because she learned the language before entering the monastery; she takes on this position even though it means interacting with another postulant who is a painful reminder of a tragedy in her past. 

Throughout the novel, Godden comes back to the idea that true, lasting peace comes from living out the vocation that God offers us. But she understands that just because we are called to a particular vocation--marriage for most of us--we will not always be ecstatically happy as the world understands it. The novel begins with a description of the abbey’s motto that perfectly encapsulates this understanding: “The motto was ‘Pax,’ but the word was set in a circle of thorns. Pax: peace, but what a strange peace, made of unremitting toil and effort, seldom with a seen result; subject to constant interruptions, unexpected demands, short sleep at nights, little comfort, sometimes scant food; beset with disappointments and usually misunderstood; yet peace all the same, undeviating, filled with joy and gratitude and love. ‘It is my own peace I give unto you.’ Not, notice, the world’s peace” (3). 

No vocation comes free of suffering, but if we are where God calls us to be, doing our best to carry the crosses along the way, we too will know God’s peace.

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About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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Editors Share | Choosing One Method of NFP in Different Seasons of Life

It’s our privilege to be invited into your story and vocation. In gratitude, we love to share our stories with you, as well. Today, the team shares about the factors and discernment that influenced which method of NFP they have chosen to practice.

For additional information, this post shares a more in-depth discussion on the different methods of Natural Family Planning.

PHOTOGRAPHY: CLAIRE WATSON PHOTOGRAPHY

Theresa Namenye, Contributing Writer

During marriage preparation, I learned about the Creighton Model of NFP. My cycles are extremely easy to track, so we did not have to be super diligent in order to effectively navigate my fertility for the first year of marriage. Now, being pregnant and/or breastfeeding, my body’s pattern seems to return to fertility after my baby is a year old, so we have not had to track for a while and would like our children to be spaced according to the return of my fertility. 

Gen Allen, Contributing Writer

We learned the Creighton Model of NFP during our engagement, but it taught me so much about my cycles that I wish I had learned it years before. In this season of life, we have transitioned to the Marquette method for ease of use while postpartum and breastfeeding. Marquette feels more objective to me, but I still use a lot of what I learned from Creighton to listen to what my body is telling me. 

Andi Compton, Business Director

We learned the Billings method when we were preparing to get married. We have used it loosely on and off as needed the past 13 years. At the time, the only teacher we knew of was a Protestant woman who lived near my husband and taught at a nearby parish—50 miles away from me.

Knowing my cycle has helped me figure out when my anxiety peaks and actually helped me save our 3rd daughter. My cycle was a hair off so I called my NaPro doctor. She had me immediately come in for a blood test to confirm pregnancy and got me started on progesterone to maintain the pregnancy. 

Eventually we switched to the Marquette method. Now have five children and have gained knowledge, experience, and trust in God over the years through NFP. We are currently using the Billings method again—paired with Apple Health for tracking—for simplicity in this season of our lives.

Bridget Busacker, Contributing Writer

I started charting my fertility in college and learned more about the specifics of NFP when I was engaged. I heard from my mom and married friends that it’s normal to change methods depending on lifestyle and season of life, so this took a lot of pressure off of us to find the “perfect method” for our marriage.

We started with the sympto-thermal method and now, being postpartum, we switched to a hormonal-only method. This switch to a new method was due to my hormonal shifts and breastfeeding, so we could accurately identify the return of my fertility and I could better understand my own body given so many changes that have occurred since having a baby.

I have loved charting my fertility because I am so much more in tune with my hormonal shifts and the ways it impacts me physically and emotionally. I’m also able to ask my doctor and practitioner specific questions about my health and point to trends that I notice with my emotional and physical health, that I would otherwise not pay attention to. Charting can be challenging and it can be difficult to learn a new method, but it has absolutely been worth it for my own health journey and detecting underlying hormonal challenges that have been addressed because of charting! 

Bringing God into Finances and Fertility

BRIDGET BUSACKER

Finances can often be a source of frequent conversation and tension in marriage. When upholding marriage as free, total, faithful and fruitful, Catholic marriage—like Natural Family Planning (NFP)—requires an openness to the possibility of life.

We have to remember that, first and foremost, the Catholic Church’s teachings on marriage and family life are openness to life, not controlling life. NFP is a gift, a tool, to help couples learn and navigate the woman’s body when it comes to discerning family life.

PHOTOGRAPHY: DESIGNS BY JESSINA

In the context of costs, budgets and financial planning, anticipating the cost of a child can bring about a lot of fear. And frankly, the last thing you want to do in a moment of intimacy is think about money. 

If we purely live our married life out of worry and physical concern, then it is calculated and feels icky; we are not meant to live in the black-and-white of one reality. NFP requires us to live in the tension of our faith: both the physical and spiritual realities of our marriage. It is just as important to learn our marriage in its sacramentality as well as in its physical nature. 

On one end of the black-and-white spectrum, it is important to have all the finances associated with raising a child saved before beginning such an exhausting and financially treacherous journey. On the other end, it’s assumed that babies will come and you must be prepared to say yes to every fertile opportunity. Unlike these messages from the world, holy, Catholic marriages pursue the middle ground of these poles. 

Finances are an important topic for a couple to discuss because there are obvious realities: where to live, spending habits, mortgages, phone bills, diapers, etc. Without our faith, it can become very calculated and lacking in the bigger vision of our goal: Heaven. 

NFP requires conversation and discernment because there’s no way to skip the fertile phase each month. Avoiding sex during the fertile period of a woman’s cycle in order to avoid pregnancy requires prayerful discernment and conversation between husband and wife. This is much more challenging than using a form of physical birth control and talking about “what if” at a convenient time. We are challenged to remember that life is a gift and we have the opportunity to say “yes” to the adventure of raising a child and saying “yes” to generations. 

Planning and discernment are integral to the vocation to marriage; we can’t deny one or the other. Balance is much harder to strive for than simply picking one way to live. 

At its core, our life should be lived through our faith. Faith is the basis of our existence. It allows us to choose adventure when the world may tell us we’re foolish to live without fear of tomorrow. Christ promises to look out for us and take care of us, so while we are, in fact, called to be prudent and responsible, he fills the voids from our shortcomings. 

Living in the tension between the physical and the spiritual life requires us to prepare and use our finances, to be open to the gift of children, and, ultimately, to trust God in the integrated whole. 

There is an undeniable relationship between finances and fertility. A peace of heart and mind is achieved when finances and fertility are bound together with faith. 

God has a plan for you and he desires you to grow in relationship with him and your spouse. God will never give you something you can’t handle, including a child. It is a blessing to welcome life into the world. A blessing doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges or hardships, but it means that the gift outweighs the cost. 

Anything worth doing is worth fighting for.

There will be hard conversations and budgeting choices you have to make. There will be a learning curve as you begin to navigate NFP for the first time (or for the first time with a spouse). 

Building collaboration and intimacy in your marriage is a practice that, when offered to God, is affirmed with grace. Where there is struggle, there is growth; NFP certainly has its peaks and valleys, but it is worth it.

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About the Author: Bridget Busacker is a public health communications professional and founder of Managing Your Fertility, a one-stop shop for NFP/FABM resources for women and couples. She is married to her wonderful husband, David, and together they have a sweet daughter.

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Newlywed Life | Mastering the Art of Arguing

THERESA NAMENYE

Engaged and newlywed couples likely receive a lot of advice on “unity.” After all, the whole premise of the marital covenant is in the two becoming one. Unity is essential: in prayer, decision making, money, parenting, and so on. 

But what about when couples are not unified?

PHOTOGRAPHY: JANISSE VALENZUELA PHOTOGRAPHY

Often, in pre-cana dialogue, navigating disagreements is centered around prayer, humble communication, and discernment together as a couple. That’s all well and good, except that most couples are going to fight and argue in spite of the idealistic strategies offered to them. 

Even the most agreeable personalities and the most prayerful people are likely to find themselves in a heated situation with their spouse. Perhaps there are a select few who enjoy a conflict-free relationship, but I would venture to say that these are very few and far between.

The blissful honeymoon butterflies fade, the tempers rear their ugly heads, and the frustration finally reaches a boiling point. In these moments, I firmly believe there lies a vastly important opportunity to practice the masterful art of arguing.

Consider the extremes within relationships. There are families that know all too well the pattern of explosive fighting, verbal abuse, and volatile insults. The cyclical battles are bookmarked with rage. It is an experience of combat. 

On the other hand, there are families that seem to never so much as argue. When spouses disagree, they go behind closed doors to hash it out. At their worst, passive aggressive comments and bottled up emotions are the sacrifice paid to keep the peace at all costs. An experience steeped in false peace. 

In my own reflection, I recognize both extremes would leave my children with a void: a poor example of how to argue well. Either they think that all disagreement leads to shouting, or they do not experience disagreements at all. I want to model how to argue with civility and compassion for my children.

It is unnecessary for a couple to wait for children before engaging in healthy conflict. In my own season of life, my children are an inspiration—alongside my lifelong desire to honor the dignity of my husband in good times and in bad. 

I want my children to watch me lose my temper, take a few deep breaths, and be humble enough to lower my tone and apologize in the moment. 

I want them to watch me disagree with my husband, explain my irritation without an ounce of character defamation, low blows, or insults. 

I want them to see me take a break and pray by myself when I get too heated to continue, and come back calm.

I want them to witness me laughing, joking, bickering; to notice a quickness to hug and kiss and move on--showing them disagreements do not need to escalate. 

I want them to listen as I respond to feedback and humbly admit when I’m wrong.

I want them to experience my husband and I making big decisions in private, and presenting a united front. 

I want them to know that if they disagree with a choice I have made, I am willing to explain my actions and thought processes. I want to be receptive to hearing how I can be a better mother, to model being a lifelong learner with integrity amidst overwhelming emotions, problems, and secular conflict.

I don’t want my children to grow up with a perfect marriage as their model.

I want my children to watch me grow and fight the good fight in the midst of life’s messy business. I want them to see an incarnational way of living that is quick to forgive, quick to laugh, and centered on bringing Christ to the ugly and mundane parts of home. I want them to experience a real, breathing, sanctifying, holy marriage. 

Life is hard, and my children will inevitably come into conflict. When they do, or when they experience an unpleasant argument with their own spouse someday, I want them to be familiar with the art of arguing—with grace, respect, open-mindedness, and forgiveness—just like they saw when they were kids.

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About the Author: Theresa Namenye studied Humanities, Catholic Culture, and Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She lives in Scottsdale, AZ with her husband Garrett and their children Leo and Aislin. When she isn't teaching fourth grade, she loves blogging, painting, and enjoying the outdoors.

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The Three Methods of Natural Family Planning--and How to Choose the One for You

BRIDGET BUSACKER

Exasperated, I looked at my fiance. We discussed NFP while dating and during engagement; we recognized the importance and the need for NFP in our marriage to help us grow in holiness. Although I had been charting for a few years and found great freedom in understanding my fertility and advocating for my health care needs, we didn’t realize there were so many different methods to choose from. 

We had scheduled a time to pick a Natural Family Planning (NFP) method during our engagement, but it was difficult to create a pros and cons list of each method and choose one to pursue as a couple. We thought that work had already been done, but here we were, 3 hours later, more frustrated than ever. 

It was through this experience that I founded Managing Your Fertility, an online, one-stop shop of NFP resources for women and couples.

PHOTOGRAPHY: HER WITNESS

I didn’t want women and couples to experience what we had gone through; I desire to help facilitate conversations, create pros and cons lists, and simplify picking a method to help women—and their spouses—learn your body, embrace your fertility, and confidently move forward in your marriage.

So, you might be reading this and nodding along, frustrated by a similar situation. Maybe you don’t quite understand the importance of NFP in married life. Or maybe you want to find a different method, but you’re intimidated by all the options.

It can feel daunting. This is the method you are choosing to help you prayerfully discern family planning and embracing new life! But, as my (now) husband and I learned, and are learning, the many options help us to live out different seasons of married life together—prayerfully, open, and discerning every month. 

Let’s start at the beginning and review the foundation of NFP, so you and your partner feel confident picking a method, and can embrace this teaching of the Catholic Church with great joy and confidence! 

What is Natural Family Planning (NFP)?

Natural Family Planning is the definition given by the Catholic Church that supports the teaching on human sexuality and science of tracking fertility. The Catholic Church does not support the use of contraception of any kind as a means to avoid pregnancy. Rather, the Catholic Church supports a holistic approach of the woman (and couple, working together) tracking her cycles and determining fertile and infertile times. If the couple has prayerfully discerned avoiding pregnancy, abstinence is practiced during fertile times.

In 1972, the National Institute of Child Health & Human Development and the Human Life Foundation co-sponsored an international conference for NFP. Experts from around the world were in attendance and it was at this conference that the definition was developed to encompass the three commonly used methods: hormonal-only, mucus-only, and sympto-thermal. Then, in 1976, the World Health Organization (WHO) provided an official definition: “the naturally occurring physiological manifestation of fertile and infertile phases of the menstrual cycle”.

The Catholic Church supports fertility awareness based methods (FABMs), which are a way to track fertile and infertile times during the reproductive cycle and based on daily observations, which fluctuate each cycle. During fertile times, abstinence is practiced to avoid pregnancy. 

You may hear the term Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) trending in news articles and social media, so it’s important to know that these methods also track fertile and infertile times and follow daily observations of the cycle, but the difference is that barrier methods are used during fertile periods. And the Catholic Church doesn’t condone the use of barrier methods during fertile times to avoid pregnancy.

How many methods are there?

Now that we have the foundation of NFP and the two different umbrella terms for various methods (FABMs and FAMs), it’s time to break down the methods available under FABMs that are safe, effective, and supported by the Catholic Church and science (these go hand-in-hand and work together)!

There are three different types of FABMs: hormonal-only, mucus-only, and sympto-thermal.

Hormonal-only method | Detects production of key fertility hormones with daily at-home urine tests with an electronic fertility monitor and cross checking it with daily cervical mucus observations.

Mucus-only method | Teaches users how to observe biomarkers during the phases of the menstrual cycle, specifically, through observing and charting changes in the color and consistency of cervical mucus.

Sympto-thermal method | Based on the observations of cervical fluid, basal body temperature (waking temperature) and biological signs (i.e. changes in the cervix).

Under each of these methods, there are various organizations and instructors available, so that you can pick a method that works best for you.

Which one should I choose?

It is a great fortune to have so many options available. Although it can seem stressful, a variety of methods means you can pick what works best for you based on your season of life and lifestyle.

If you are someone who thrives on a schedule and wakes up at the same time every morning, the sympto-thermal method may be a great option for you because it not only requires checking cervical mucus throughout the day, you have an additional checkpoint of taking your temperature at the same time every morning.

Maybe you are expecting a baby and you would like to track your fertility postpartum, but know that hormones are adjusting and your fertility may not come back for a few months, so hormonal-only is a great option. It checks hormone levels in your urine and uses an electronic fertility monitor, while cross-checking mucus to help you navigate those early months as a new mom and beyond.

Perhaps you want something simple and you want to track your cervical mucus, preferring to learn one thing at a time. Then, the mucus-only methods are the best option for you! Checking your cervical mucus is a part of each method and may be just what you need to get started.

Take your time to learn about each method and ask questions of practitioners, so you feel comfortable and confident with the method you choose to move forward in your marriage.

Wherever you and your partner may be in your journey together, I hope this encourages you and inspires you to know that the Catholic Church supports you in understanding your body, recognizing the beauty of your fertility, and relying on scientific research that supports a holistic approach to your health. This journey is not easy, but it is rewarding to put in the work and understand how incredible your body truly is!

For additional professional NFP support and coaching, Spoken Bride’s Vendor Guide includes several NFP Instructors.

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If you liked this article, we hope you enjoy this episode of the Spoken Bride podcast featuring Bridget Busacker.

About the Author: Bridget Busacker is a public health communications professional and founder of Managing Your Fertility, a one-stop shop for NFP/FABM resources for women and couples. She is married to her wonderful husband, David, and together they have a sweet daughter.

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Pray Together with a Family Litany of Saints

GENEVIEVE ALLEN

On your wedding day, you and your spouse become a new family. Family prayer will be important to your marriage, whether you are praying night prayer together as newlyweds or saying grace at Thanksgiving, surrounded by your grandchildren. One way to start a new tradition of prayer with your fiancé or spouse is to begin a family litany of the saints.

This can be a practice which remains with you throughout your marriage.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARY KATHERINE PHOTOGRAPHY

Start with Favorites

Who’s your favorite saint? Many Catholics have a favorite saint or two (or twenty). If you don’t have a saint BFF yet or you feel like you could use some more (and who could not?) hit up the library with your fiancé or spouse to find some books on the lives of the saints. Then take your books and a picnic to a park. Read some of the inspirational and sometimes outrageous stories to each other to find some new favorites.

Confirmation Saints

Revisiting the namesake from your confirmation can be a powerful way to know a holy person. These saints often, but not always, fall into the “favorites” category. If you don’t know your confirmation saint as well as you’d like, do some research and rest easy knowing that your saint has been interceding for you anyway.

What’s in a Name

What’s your name? What’s your spouse’s name? If it’s not a saint’s name, is it a derivative of one? Most names can be connected to a saintly counterpart, even if it’s just through meaning. If you have children, what are their names? If you don’t have children yet but have some ideas of what names you like, add those saints to your litany as a reminder to pray for your future children.

Careers and Interests

There’s a patron saint for nearly every career and for many different hobbies and interests. If you experience stress in your career, it’s worthwhile to put these patrons on your list. Even if you don’t plan to add these saints to your litany, it can be fun to know who they are.

Remember Souls Who Have Died

If a close family or friend has passed away, consider adding the saint who most reminds you of that person to your list. This is a wonderful way to remember to pray for souls.

Choose a Mary

Our Lady has so many beautiful titles. Do you or your spouse have a special devotion to one of them? Mary, our Blessed Mother, should have a place on every litany.

Once you have created your litany, ask for the intercession of your saints whenever you pray as a family. Tack it to the end of spontaneous or traditional prayers and soon it will become a lovely habit. Be flexible with your litany; there may be saints who stay on your litany for the duration of your marriage and those who will be there just for a season. Consider dedicating a small chalkboard or white board in your home to your litany of the saints. Alternatively, you could use this board as a way to feature one saint at a time, perhaps around feast days.

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About the Author: Genevieve currently practices as a lactation consultant and blogs with her sister Kat Finney for The Sister Post, a blog offering two perspectives on everything from spiritual discernment to baby gear. Genevieve and her husband Dalton began dating on the feast of St. Joseph. They have two children.

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Newlywed Life | Processing Frustrations in Light of the Big Picture

THERESA NAMENYE

Sometimes, as much as we try not to, we get caught up in seeing all of the annoying parts of life. This frustration can be especially magnified in a marriage. Especially in a new season of marriage when spouses are adjusting to a new way of life together.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MACKENZIE REITER PHOTOGRAPHY

It’s easy to see the dishes piled up in the sink after a long day of work. After dealing with thirty fourth graders all day, the last thing I want to think about is coming home to clean bowls with old pancake batter. If I get hyper focused on that pancake bowl, my thoughts can quickly turn to, “I can’t believe he had the nerve to leave that there for me. I worked hard all day long and now he expects me to wash his dishes?”

Conversely, it’s easy for him to get frustrated when I scroll through my phone in the evening, not cuddling on the couch. “She’s been away from me all day and she doesn’t want to be around me now that we’re home.”

In these annoying, trying, and unpleasant circumstances, it’s so important to rise above our own thought patterns and shift our perspective. 

The bowl of pancake batter wasn’t rinsed immediately because a baby was crying and needed to be changed. Then an errand had to be run and thing after thing took over the afternoon and the watery pancake batter was forgotten. It’s okay. The kids are well fed and they were loved today. It’s fine that the bowl still sits in the sink. It’s not an attack against me. It does not mean my husband is lazy. It means that other important things came up, and cleaning up immediately after meals is still a growing habit. He’s getting there.

I’m on my phone, reading an article about how toddlerhood is difficult. I’ve been up all night nursing a teething baby, I pumped twice at work, I graded ninety assignments, and I haven’t sat down to eat my lunch. I came home to a sink full of unwashed pancake dishes that reminded me that my day of work is far from over. I need fifteen minutes to merely exist in my comfortable chair and unwind as I relate to moms who are in the trenches alongside me in this vocation. It’s okay. Not cuddling my spouse is not a sly message that I don’t want to be close to him. I am working on being more available for cuddles and hugs with my husband throughout the demands of life. 

But recognizing and understanding all of these unseen facets of life--things like dishes and distractions--takes work. It takes love. It takes communication. Seeing issues from another’s perspective and in light of the big picture takes constant practice.

It is a skill to see an unpleasant reality, feel waves of frustration, and mentally transcend them in the heat of the moment.

“Yes, this is aggravating to my inner soul. No, this is not the end of the world. Yes, I am sure there is an explanation. Yes, I will communicate this later when we are both receptive and open to feedback.”

I’m not saying it’s a good idea to bury these annoyances or to continuously conjure up excuses for things that breed frustration. Far from it. I believe that ten times out of ten, sharing how we feel in a way that is loving, calm, and compassionate is better than spouting off frustrations in the throes of a mental picture that the other person is so wildly inconsiderate.

Instead, let us try to offer gratitude in those moments and practice being grateful for the thousands of unseen ways our spouse does love us.

It’s actually very nice that my husband takes out the trash, puts gas into the cars, and takes care of paying bills every month. When was the last time I genuinely thanked him for these things?

It’s actually quite awesome that my wife works hard for our family, folds all of the laundry without complaining, nurtures the children day in and day out, and changes the pillowcases. When was the last time she was thanked for these mundane, ordinary things done out of love?

The next time you feel anger swelling up inside of you against your spouse for doing something annoying, maybe find a way to speak some thankfulness for what they have done right. Not only will you love them better, you will simultaneously feed your soul with the skill to notice the good above the bad. 

You begin to create a culture within your home where the constructive criticism is tempered with the love and appreciation that a simple life deserves.

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About the Author: Theresa Namenye studied Humanities, Catholic Culture, and Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She lives in Scottsdale, AZ with her husband Garrett and their children Leo and Aislin. When she isn't teaching fourth grade, she loves blogging, painting, and enjoying the outdoors.

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Staying Strong When your Spouse has a Demanding Job

KATHERINE FINNEY

My husband is in his 28th year of school this year. Yes, you read that correctly. He is 32-years-old and is currently a fellow at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, which puts him in his 28th year of receiving some sort of formal education. 

When we got married, I thought the idea of being married to someone in residency would be like a fun adventure. I knew his schedule would be crazy, but I figured the challenges of this state of life would be something we could have fun tackling together. Reality has turned out to be quite different from my expectation. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: MADI MYERS-COOK PHOTOGRAPHY

I am no expert in being married to someone in training. I’m really no expert in marriage either. But I have been married for five years, and in every one of those five years my husband has been in medical training; my only experience of marriage has been as a wife of a resident (and now a fellow). Goals have been accomplished, but we’re still struggling through training. The light is getting brighter and closer, but the darkness behind us can still be a little hard to reflect on.

If I could give myself advice before entering into marriage with someone just starting residency (or any transient stage of training, continued education, etc), I’d say the following:

Pray. 

This is a Catholic blog, so it may seem necessary to include prayer. But here’s what I mean. There will be times when you will wonder when will be the next time you can sit down and have a meal together. There will be times when you feel like you don’t even know who the person sleeping next to you is anymore, because you never see him/her. In these times, you may feel numb and want to give up. I beg you to pray. Pray in a particular way to tangibly receive the graces of the Sacrament of Marriage. This prayer will be answered, and you will know it when it does. Praise God in those moments.

Make sacramental prayer a priority and habit. 

Again, an obvious recommendation for a Catholic blog. But again, without the grace of the Eucharist and the healing power of Confession, how do you expect to be able to receive the graces of your Sacrament of Marriage? Go to Jesus in the Eucharist, because he will be the one to get you through the hardest patches of this trying time.

Let go of expectations, and let go of comparisons. 

You may know a couple or couples in similar situations as you. They may even be Catholic, prayerful people. Do not live your life by comparing your relationship to theirs. Do not expect yourself to keep up with their timelines (of having kids, buying a house, achieving goals within residency/training).

Every couple is different and is called uniquely to their specific vocation. Every couple has different emotional, mental, physical struggles and strengths. Your way of doing things can be different than couples in similar situations to you. The only people who should be involved in a couple’s decisions should be the husband, wife, and God--and helpful spiritual directors/advisors as you see fit. Residency is hard enough to get through without the pressures of expectations you place on yourself to keep up with what others are doing.

Find a support system. 

Surrounding yourself with a community of support, especially if you’re away from family or are having children, is vital. Being away from family with small kids is no joke. When your village is far away, find people who can be your village. Be a village for them too. If possible, find couples in similar situations who are also far from home, so that you can support each other during holidays, postpartum recovery time, or extended periods away from family.

Remember your mission. 

You have been called to serve or to heal. Remember you’ve been called to something greater than yourself. I find that when I view the challenges of being a resident’s wife as part of my missionary call, I’m more inclined to embrace the challenges rather than to run from or resent them. The challenges don’t get easier, but they have purpose when I look at them as part of a greater call.

I asked my husband if he had anything to add to this, from the perspective of both the husband and the trainee/doctor in the situation. Here’s what he had to say:

Go on dates, at least once a month!

Residency (and parenthood) are roles that demand tremendous amounts from an individual; the external pressures can make it all too easy to neglect your marriage. Don’t let that happen! Initially, I tried to connect with my wife while I was also doing something else (preparing for the next day, cleaning the dishes, changing a diaper). But there is something about undivided attention and unquestionable intention that is so much better.

When we started going on dates more consistently, I noticed a huge improvement in our relationship together as well as an improvement in our interactions with the kids. If you are a parent, find some other parents that are looking to go on dates, and do a parent swap to save money on babysitters.

Take time to pray daily. 

During training, I found this to be very effective on the way to and from work. I pray on the way to work every day, which allows me to center myself and be committed to providing the best care possible for my patients before seeing them. Praying in my car after work also provided a timely transition to recap the day—what went well, what didn’t go so well, and what can be done to improve things--before being present to my family.

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About the Author: Katherine (Schluter) Finney is proudly from New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Nashville, Tennessee while her husband Jonathan finishes fellowship training. She and Jonathan have two daughters, Miriam (3) and Joan (18 months). Kat taught high school religion for four years and has worked for Catholic high schools for six years. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, and she spends most of her time styling hamster play-doh hair and cooking some kind of creole dish for dinner.

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Coping with Homesickness while Adjusting to a New Life

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

“A man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.” We hear this over and over through the rite of matrimony, not only because it is important, but because it can be hard. Although this is a charge directed at husbands, wives, in becoming one with their husbands, also must leave behind aspects of their families of origin. 

I came from a close-knit family with lots of traditions, and when my husband got a job several states away from my hometown in our second year of marriage, I was devastated. I had always planned to raise my children in the same town as my parents so that they would share the same closeness I had with my own grandparents.

PHOTOGRPAHY: KELLI SEELEY PHOTOGRAPHY

Shortly before our move, my grandmother brought me the DVD of Brooklyn, a movie she wanted me to see because it reminded her of her own mother’s immigration story. As I watched the protagonist, Eilis Lacey, build a life in 1950s New York, far away from her family in Ireland, I began to see the promise in our upcoming move, instead of just sadness for my loss. 

This quiet, lovely film offered inspiration to commit wholly to my vocation and the family that I was creating with my new husband. Whether your marriage takes you across the world or just across town, this movie has some valuable insights for newlyweds.

Before we dive into these insights, a brief disclaimer is in order. As Steven Greydanus says in his review: “Brooklyn is not a Catholic film per se, but the Church stands in the background, an unobtrusive but essential institution in the local community.” In this way, the Catholic church plays an essential role in Eilis and Tony’s lives, but in a moment of grief, they falter regarding chastity, though the scene is brief and not explicit. 

1. Change can make you homesick, but homesickness won’t last forever. 

When Eilis first arrives in New York, she is miserable, clinging to her letters from home like a lifeline, but over time she adjusts to life in America. The shift is gradual, but as the months pass, she realizes how happy she’s become in Brooklyn; even her employer notices and asks for Eilis’ secret to pass on to the next homesick immigrant. Although Eilis attributes it to falling in love with Tony (an Italian-American Catholic), it’s also clear that her routines in work, night school, and her parish life were important to her adjustment.

As a newlywed, there are all kinds of changes that can make you yearn for the life you had before: moving to a new place, having to make holiday decisions, making joint plans with your husband instead of just thinking about yourself, and taking on more responsibility than anticipated over pets, among other things. Many of these challenges are transient and will pass; some will require new routines, while others will need the patience and love of your spouse.

2. Build your community around the Church.

The kind, old priest who sponsored her immigration helps Eilis start to integrate into her new community by enrolling her in a bookkeeping course and asking her to spend Christmas day at the church, serving a meal to men who have nowhere else to go. She also attends parish dances with the other girls at her boarding house, where she eventually meets Tony. Though not all of her time is spent at church, everything in Eilis’ life is affected by her connection to the Church.

In a similar way, your local parish can help you form new routines in your newlywed life. If you’ve just moved, getting involved in a young adult group or Bible study can help you and your husband meet other Catholic newlyweds. If you’re continuing to attend a parish, see if you are being called to participate in a new ministry, either individually or as a couple.

3. Eventually, you will adjust to your new life.

While it initially seems impossible, Eilis finally comes to a place of peace about her new life and how being in America has changed her. Near the end of the movie, she offers advice to another new immigrant, and she tells her, “You'll feel so homesick that you'll want to die, and there's nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won't kill you. And one day the sun will come out--you might not even notice straight away, it'll be that faint. And then you'll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who's only yours. And you'll realize... that this is where your life is.” 

Eilis’ months of suffering have transformed her, and her visit home has served as confirmation that her life in Brooklyn is the one to which she has been called.

If you’re interested in a more detailed review of the film before you watch it, I highly suggest Steven Greydanus’ take. 

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About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

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If We are to be Molded by the Creator, May we be Bent into the Shape of a Cross.

JAY ROSS

“When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.” 

I wish I had this quote included in my wedding vows. At the time, I was an evangelical Atheist, (far from the homeschooling Catholic I am now). I fought tooth and nail to remove all traces of scripture from my wedding.

If I could plan my wedding all over again, I would be as malleable to God as metal is to its maker.

PHOTOGRAPHY: JOY-MARIE MENDOZA PHOTOGRAPHY

Faith was absent from my wedding and every experience of wedding planning. That process did not yield the spiritual fruit that it could have—and should have. If you let it, you will be amazed by the fruits and graces that come with including God in every step of your marriage. 

I am a jeweler. When I make a wedding ring, the metal is heated to over 1,000 degrees celsius (1832 fahrenheit), banged many times with wood or metal, sanded and stripped away, and polished. For gold or platinum, the precious metals most often used for wedding bands, this is not a pleasant process. But the end result is pristine. 

As the creator, I guide the raw materials through a very difficult process to make something beautiful. In how many ways does God desire to do the same with my heart and soul as I am transformed through the sacrament of marriage? How often do difficult experiences form the beauty of our present lives? 

Now, I know, planning a wedding is hard. We were seniors in college, extremely active in a local advocacy group, and working in the jewelry business. We were inexperienced in the realms of adulthood and underprepared for the responsibilities and financial costs associated with planning a wedding. We never considered the lasting effects that could come with intentional planning. And we never anticipated the difficult impact from the common stressors of wedding planning either. 

Yet, over time, I have been refined. But I often wonder what kind of refinement could have happened sooner if I allowed myself to be formed by my Creator earlier in life and earlier in my marriage. 

To have been present in real time, within my wedding planning, I would have had solace in the times I needed it most. I would have realized my potential as a man and spouse before I approached the marriage altar. 

When we have a relationship with Jesus Christ and bring our difficult experiences to him—in prayer, in relationships, or in the Sacraments—he melts our hearts, strips away our burdens, and forms us into the persons he created us to be, into saints. 

As we think of ourselves as a precious metal waiting to be formed into something pristine, the process is not pleasant. I know it is especially hard in the moment to “offer it up.” Yet, we are invited to bring those difficult, painful experiences of refinement to prayer, into an intimate conversation with your Creator. 

God has formed me through my vows so I have a clearer vision of his design for my life, my marriage and my family. I encourage you to bring God to the center of your wedding planning--bring him into everything you do with, and for, your spouse. Not only will you grow closer to each other, but also closer to heaven. 

Ultimately, you are working with your beloved to bring each other to heaven; planning a wedding together can be a great opportunity to deal with stress, to approach sacrifice and suffering as a cross, and to be shaped and formed together. This is the process which creates the most beautiful offering you can present to Our Lord when death do you part.

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About the Author: Jay holds an MFA from the University of Central Florida. Jay and his wife Angie are Co-Founders of 31:Four Artisan Jewelry--an all-Catholic design and manufacturing studio based in the Orlando area. They are teaching the trade to their four children, who will be fourth-generation jewelers.

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The Deep Roots of Marital Communication--And Why They Matter

THERESA NAMENYE

Of all the advice people give to an engaged or newly married couple, communication seems to be the one phrase that sticks out. I remember hearing that communication is always a hot button issue—the one thing all married couples must conquer in order to attain peace. 

Because my entire engagement was long distance, and we worked opposite schedules and communicating via texting most of the time, I felt pretty confident about our communication as we approached our wedding day. How hard could this possibly be? I thought. Say what you mean, mean what you say.

Then, after our wedding, we moved in together.

PHOTOGRAPHY: KAITLYN HEACOCK PHOTOGRAPHY

Suddenly, all of the beautifully crafted messages that so eloquently expressed my feelings were not very much help. Looking back, I could not point out exactly where and why our communication started to unravel. It was all the small things, of course: but the small things are what make up daily life. Life quickly became an aggravating battle ground for nearly every topic that crossed our path.

The clothes on the floor? The dinner in the oven? The tone of my voice? The implication of that word? The specific verbiage chosen? Everything seemed to be interlaced with unspoken expectations, long-standing familial foundations, and principles singled out as the most important by our different personalities, inherent to who we are from the time we could walk and talk. 

I didn’t realize the simple act of communication is not just an exchange of words; rather, the act of communication is an experience of two inexplicably complex souls attempting to convey meaning to one another. And that is hard. 

Communication in the abstract is wildly easier than long talks, tears, and a stream of frustration spinning like a thousand hamster wheels in my head. 

Epictetus writes, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” I would add that with two people in a marriage, one’s wellspring of experience is tempered by the presence of another throughout the journey of life, wholly together.

What I’ve learned in my five years of marriage is this: every action and every thought that surges through our intellect is an intricate combination of our entire life’s experience. Assumptions, priorities, wounds: these are all embedded in our communication whether we realize it or not. 

The more carefully and thoughtfully we start to unpack these layers in ourselves, the more we come to understand, essentially, who we are. And this is the key starting point in any relationship—marriage or otherwise. It takes a lifetime to fully understand oneself or to even come close to it, and trying to simultaneously know one’s spouse on an intimate level is no small task.

It may seem like a common task to truly understand another person, because so many of us are married and in communication with a spouse every day.

Let me assure you, successful communication in a marriage is no small feat.

At times, it is like taming the wild dragon deep within yourself and extending mercy in places where it could not be more undeserved. It is taking the time, laboriously, to unpack misunderstandings. Other times, it is biting one’s tongue (figuratively or literally) in the hopes of cooling tempers and returning to civility before continuing on. 

At the end of the day, communication shows us what it means to live with a possession of humility. Know thyself, the philosophers write. Doing that takes humility. Why am I the way that I am?

And knowing someone else too? I think it takes double the humility. You are attempting to know, deeply and truly, the beautifully perplexing universe of the mind and heart of another.

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About the Author: Theresa Namenye studied Humanities, Catholic Culture, and Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She lives in Scottsdale, AZ with her husband Garrett and their children Leo and Aislin. When she isn't teaching fourth grade, she loves blogging, painting, and enjoying the outdoors.

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