Introducing The Spoken Bride Community! | Our New Platform for Dialogue, Prayer & Relationship.

Spoken Bride’s mission is rooted in a culture of encounter: the power of dialogue, goodness, truth, beauty, and holy marriages to draw others into the loving heart of our Creator. 

Earlier this year when we felt a nudge to forge deeper personal connections--true encounter--among our brides, team members, and vendors, we set out to find the best way of doing that.

We are proud to introduce The Spoken Bride Community, launching January 4.

The Spoken Bride Community is a feed-style app we designed to be different from any other feed out there, with greater depth and a leap from screens to real life: one that invites pause over more scrolling, conversation over surface-level comments, rest over restlessness.

We created The Spoken Bride Community to bring you together with other Catholic women who are joyfully pursuing the vocation to marriage, through:

• Exclusive prayer events

• Conversation prompts

• Wedding & marriage education from our team’s experts

• Virtual small groups tailored to your location and season of your vocation

You’re invited.

How do I join The Spoken Bride Community?

The Spoken Bride Community runs through the Mighty Networks app, available in your phone’s app store or accessible here from your desktop. Download the app and create a username and password. On January 4, log in and, when prompted, search for Spoken Bride and request to join.

How is The Spoken Bride Community different from your blog, Instagram, or Facebook?

Spoken Bride’s blog and social media are impactful platforms for sharing the spiritual and practical content we create for brides-to-be and newlyweds, highlighting Catholic wedding vendors, and showcasing real couples’ divinely written love stories. We love seeing you share our content and tag your friends, trusting that the Holy Spirit speak to our brides the words they most need to hear.

For all these strengths, though, do you ever find yourself wishing social media allowed for...more? More genuine dialogue and meaningful encouragement. More long conversations. More opportunities for real-life friendships. With The Spoken Bride Community, our goal is to meet these needs, offering daily opportunities to share your opinions, intentions, questions, and experiences through conversation and prayer. We can’t wait to join you in your vocation through monthly prayer events, Ask Me Anythings, planning education, and more.

Is it free?

The Spoken Bride Community will be a paid membership platform. For about the monthly cost of two small (or one large!) coffees, you’ll have access to this group of women--brides-to-be, newlyweds, wedding industry pros, and members of the Spoken Bride team--committed to living out their call to marriage with all its realness and supporting one another as sisters in Christ.

It’s our goal that our offerings through the Community, along with your involvement and input, will be fruitful and valuable; a daily investment in your marriage and spiritual life.

What about my fiancé or husband?

We’re eager to highlight both the feminine genius and the gift of authentic masculinity through the topics we’ll share in The Spoken Bride Community. Those of us on the team who are engaged or married can’t wait to have our beloveds join in on prayer events and share on the wedding planning process from the groom’s perspective!

We made this platform for you, and can’t wait for the contributions and fruits your unique voice will bring. See you there for honest conversation, authentic relationship, and prayerful support.

Meet Him in the Manger | A Christmas Greeting and Prayer from Spoken Bride

On this sacred night, Love became incarnate. And even in His infancy, Christ gave us the model of virtue, humility, and sacrifice to follow in our vocations.

Whether your Advent season was as peaceful or fruitful as you hoped it would be, don’t be afraid to meet Jesus in manger and invite Him to make His home in your heart and marriage.

PHOTOGRAPHY: ELISSA VOSS AS SEEN IN EMILY AND DANIEL’S CHRISTMAS SEASON WEDDING

Let Your goodness, Lord, appear to us, that we, made in your image, conform ourselves to it. In our own strength we cannot imitate Your majesty, power, and wonder, nor is it fitting for us to try. But Your mercy reaches from the heavens through the clouds to the earth below. You have come to us as a small child, but you have brought us the greatest of all gifts, the gift of eternal love. Caress us with Your tiny hands, embrace us with Your tiny arms and pierce our hearts with Your soft, sweet cries. —Prayer by St. Bernard of Clairvaux

From all of us at Spoken Bride, Merry Christmas! Thank you for your trust, support and participation in our mission, especially in this crazy year—we are full of gratitude for every one of our brides, vendors, and readers. 

We hope you and your family have a joyous and blessed day and that the peace of Christ will reign forever in your hearts and homes.

The Ideal Gift

MARISOL B.

This has been one of those years that invites us to deep reflection on what we may consider ideal for ourselves and our life. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: KASSONDRA PHOTOGRAPHY

At the stroke of midnight on the first day of 2020, we likely pictured the perfect set of circumstances, making this year “the one.” The one where I finally meet my future husband, plan my ideal wedding, travel to a faraway destination, or any other ideal gift matching the deepest desire of our heart.

“Everything is gift,” Saint Therese of Lisieux wrote in her autobiography, and this year was not the exception. 

I got married in October 2007 and every anniversary thereafter, I reflect on the many experiences of our marriage - so beautiful and profound, and challenging in ways we never quite imagined.

Much like, 2020 – our marriage has taught us to receive the many gifts that are presented to us as ideal, despite their initial appearance. 

We are well aware that anything that is allowed into existence has the potential for goodness, truth and beauty – therefore, we have embraced each set of circumstances and resolved to make something truly fruitful out of it all.

An impossible request

Several years ago, I heard of the Walk of the Incarnation, a Novena for Impossible Requests-- a 9-month long prayer which begins on the Feast of the Annunciation and ends on Christmas Day. 

I prayed it fervently each night; entrusting very special requests that would help our marriage continue to grow and thrive.

God is still working on the timing for those very specific requests, and this year proved to be one of great hope. 

At the beginning of the pandemic (namely on the Feast of the Annunciation), my husband and I fully stopped to evaluate our marriage and the ways in which we might have stopped being a mutual gift – encumbered by daily distractions. In the middle of added uncertainty, we pondered what could be the most generous call for us, during this season of life.

Throughout this period, we have grown closer and renewed our conviction for one another, as we remember the God-given mission each of us has received.

I will say; however, that what has made the most impact in our marriage throughout the years, is the decision for a constant prayer life and true intimacy with Christ; both as a couple and as individuals.

Walking with Mary

It is when I am at my best as a woman, that my marriage thrives. My whole household flourishes, and the fruits get to become abundant enough to share with others around us. This is why, walking alongside Mary, fully aware of Jesus’ presence – has been the most profound reflection to be had during this time.

For nine months after the Annunciation, Mary got to ponder and experience Christ’s presence within her, as the tabernacle. She allowed her body to become a perfect little dwelling for Him, who would become the Temple; the one to be destroyed and restored within three days.

Walking alongside Our Blessed Mother, during this time of pandemic; has prepared my soul for the birth of Our Lord. It has reminded me that in the measure that I become the “ideal woman” all the gifts bestowed upon us in our life and marriage, also become ideal.

I am learning to dream big and bold; to envision the great possibilities for our family and to cooperate in their co-creation by remembering my dignity and identity in God, and the unique ability and mission given to me from birth. I am learning to take the practical steps to turn those dreams into goals and concrete action. I am learning to better cooperate with the Divine, by becoming a better earthen vessel which carries the treasure of abundant life within.

I invite you to dream big, and to receive wholeheartedly the greatest gift of all, the one of God’s presence in our midst; regardless of circumstances.

---

About the Author: Marisol has a great love for art and humanities. You may find her designing and styling, or gaining inspiration from books, art, friends and family, or a random conversation with a homeless human in the streets. She is passionate about the art of living in the present moment, building a life of purpose and of finding beauty in every circumstance. Her additional writing can be found at The Maritus Project and Beauty Found.

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

Editors Share | Advent + Christmas Traditions in Marriage

The Advent and Christmas seasons in the Church are rich in tradition and customs and every family has their own unique ways of celebrating and observing these liturgical seasons. 

Today, members of the Spoken Bride team share some of the holiday traditions they brought into their marriages and the new traditions they are cultivating with their husbands and children. 

Jessica Jones, Contributing Writer

This year, my husband and I are trying to remember Advent as a time of prayer by incorporating the Rosary together into our lives more frequently! Can’t say we’ve been super successful, but hey, we’re trying! We plan also to steal a friend’s tradition of putting the tree up on Saint Nicholas Day. 

Most of our other ideas so far are food related: we want to do the Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve (a tradition I’d like to resurrect from my Italian side) before Midnight Mass, and we’ll make my family’s traditional lasagna for Christmas dinner. I also may try to make a pitta ‘mpigliata, a Calabrian Christmas pastry that my relatives used to make.

Andi Compton, Co-Founder & Business Director

I brought zero Advent traditions into our marriage, I didn’t even start going to Christmas Mass until we were engaged because I didn’t realize it was a Holy Day of Obligation.  I grew up celebrating Noche Buena on Christmas Eve and having a low key Christmas Day.

Now on Advent evenings we dim the lights, sing a verse of “O Come O Come Emmanuel” while we light the candles on the Advent wreath, say a little prayer, and then read the scripture for our Jesse Tree ornament. 

Stockings are filled for St. Nicholas Day, one of our daughters dresses up for St. Lucy’s day and makes hot cocoa (this is usually when we put up outdoor lights), and we have Mexican food for the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. 

We usually do a family gathering on the 24th, then Christmas morning Mass followed by presents and brunch. No present opening until after Mass! Then Los Reyes bring oranges for their shoes and little trinkets on Epiphany. There’s also some Elf on the Shelf thrown in there (we’re up to three elves!)

Catherine Boizelle, Community Manager

I brought the classic tradition of praying and lighting candles on the advent wreath daily—my husband is a convert so this is all new to him! This year we’ve chosen Blessed is She’s advent devotional Maranatha and have been getting up early to pray with our morning coffee at the kitchen table. While not really a tradition, we are trying to attend daily mass together twice a week as well. 

Stephanie Calis, Founder and Editor in Chief

My husband and I have prayed the St Andrew novena for the past 6 or 7 years during Advent, and it is truly amazing to see the big things the Lord can do when we come to him and to Our Lady in complete humility and confidence. More recently, we’ve started having candlelight dinners during the Advent season, which has been really special for our kids. And we always listen to the same album, Bebo Norman’s Christmas from the Realms of Glory, on our drive to Christmas Eve with extended family. The opening song signals the start of Christmas for us—I highly recommend choosing a particular album or playlist as a foundation for your own family’s season!

Dominika Ramos, Contributing Writer

I came into marriage with so many ideas and have had to tone down my enthusiasm after the reality (exhaustion) of kids hit me. We light the advent wreath at dinner, or more often breakfast with the kids on weekdays. 

We put shoes out for oranges and chocolate coins from St. Nicholas on December 6th which is something I grew up with, but I've added the kids getting a Christmas book from St. Nicholas to add to our collection every year. This year I ordered St. Nicholas postcards to write the kids notes from St. Nicholas a la Tolkien letters from Father Christmas style. We'll see if I keep it up.

This year I'm having the kids memorize a poem and carol to share with our family and as a gift for baby Jesus on Christmas day. I'm trying really hard to find a way to avoid the focus of Christmas morning being just the stuff.

My sister usually makes a crazy good seven fish stew for Christmas Eve. We listen to Sufjan Stevens “O Holy Night” and Benjamin Britten's “Ceremony of Carols” on the way to midnight Mass. 

Our whole family comes over Christmas morning and I make biscuits and gravy and my sister brings to-die-for coffee iced cinnamon rolls. Then we go over to my parents in the evening for a traditional Slovak dinner.

The Transcendent Beauty of Ordinary Love

DOMINIKA RAMOS

Once I heard an older acquaintance remark how she and her friends had such great plans for their lives in high school, but then they just grew up, got married, and had babies.

That won't be me, I thought. I'll get married and have babies and accomplish all my creative dreams. But life hasn't turned out exactly that way.

PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRSTEN ANN PHOTOGRAPHY

I got married two weeks after my college graduation. I had spent the previous semester not job hunting but working on my undergraduate thesis and wedding planning. 

After we returned from the honeymoon, I had to find a job, any job, so I took on a customer service position at an eye doctor's office. 

As I snapped pictures of people's retinas and failed dreadfully at small-talk, I thought about friends who were blazing through their masters' programs, doing mission work abroad, or beginning professions in fields they were passionate about.

It left me feeling a bit deflated--here I was, not using my English degree, not disciplined enough to pursue my dreams of writing in the evenings, and, let's face it, as a Catholic newly-wed with a blithe sense of natural family planning, likely to have a baby sooner rather than later who would then upset any individual ambitions I was harboring.

Before my five month stint in the world of healthcare was up, I was indeed pregnant. And while there was much I looked forward to in motherhood, there was an attitude I couldn't shake that between me and my due date was a countdown to the end of time I could call my own. 

As I waited for that baby to arrive, I feared that my life story, too, would be that I grew up, got married, and just had babies.

Well, I wasn't wrong about being robbed of my time. The baby made basic tasks about as easy as walking up an escalator backwards and blindfolded. 

And perhaps the life story I once feared will remain true, but motherhood transformed my perspective and made it so that I don't fear that life story.

I didn't just become a mother in some general sense, but to a particular person. Just as falling in love with a particular person, my Joe, buoyed me over any hesitation I had toward marriage, so too did this little boy with his lamb-like cries, delicate frame, and arresting gaze, my Leo, shatter my hesitations over any tedium in motherhood. 

I wasn't expecting to be stunned by the beauty of even the most menial tasks of caring for another human being. And yet those tasks frankly were menial, and getting married and having a baby is still a conventional path. 

When I became a mother, I recalled a professor of mine noting that falling in love is so extraordinary an experience precisely because it is so common--that everyone from a supermodel to the girl next door can be engulfed in that ennobling sentiment of love makes it all the more meaningful. 

And having my son filled me with a like awareness--that the mysteries of motherhood have indelibly marked the lives of so many women from time immemorial is strikingly profound.

In my individual vocation as "the queen of our castle" as my now five-year-old puts it, I go beyond myself in a symbolic way. 

Through the dress and veil I wore on my wedding day, through the rings I will wear all the days of my marriage, and through the body that has carried and nurtured my children, I, with every wife and mother that has ever lived, make visible these mysteries of life and love--mysteries that point to the ultimate mystery of God.

Yet while it is illuminating to be aware of how, through my very being, I body forth a bridal dignity, it's also haunting to be aware that all those brides and mothers throughout history that I am linked with have been largely forgotten in time. 

Their bodies--those very bodies they loved and mothered with, those bodies they quite literally carried history forward with--have turned to dust, and so too will mine.

Even this unsettling thought of being forgotten has become redeemed for me though. 

Early in my marriage, I read the novel, The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder, in which a friar, Brother Junipero, tries to discover why God would permit the sudden death of seven people in the collapse of a bridge. Neither Brother Junipero nor his author can logically answer for the ways of God. Instead the reader is left with this observation:

"We ourselves shall be loved for awhile and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."

To do the work of love all the days of our life without the consolation of knowing that we will be remembered here on earth is something that requires courage and faith. 

To build up with your spouse what in your child's eyes is a kingdom and in the world's eyes something as ephemeral as a sandcastle is to live in hope.

 As Wilder suggests, love is the only intelligible force amidst the tragic decay of this life, and even the most ordinary acts of love give a glimpse into eternity.

I still hope to fulfill my creative ambitions. With the perspective of being five years into parenthood, I can see how my panic that children would make writing impossibly difficult was a bit dramatic--they do eventually learn how to sleep on their own and stop nursing round the clock. 

Yet, there's a peace in knowing that if I live these primary vocations as wife and mother faithfully, whether or not professional success is a part of the picture, I will have lived a life of transcendent beauty.

---

About the Author: Dominika Ramos is a stay-at-home mom to three and lives in Houston, Texas. She runs a creative small business, Pax Paper.

INSTAGRAM | BUSINESS

Walking with Abraham

ERIN BUCHMANN

“God put Abraham to the test and said to him: Abraham! “Here I am!” he replied. Then God said: Take your son Isaac, your only one, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah. There offer him up as a burnt offering on one of the heights that I will point out to you.”

PHOTOGRAPHY: JOY-MARIE MENDOZA PHOTOGRAPHY

If you were to ask me on our wedding day whether the story of Abraham and Isaac had anything to do with marriage, I’d have answered no. Yet, a year later, I could not shake this story from my mind. And now, two years after our wedding day, I consider it one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned as a wife.

A year ago, our family was in a season of deep mourning. Two months before, we had buried our son, our only child, whom we’d miscarried. I was still grieving his death acutely and my husband, in addition to being my comforter-in-chief, had also become a sort of mental health guardian for me. 

He was the one talking me over the mountains of sadness and offering me his shoulder so I could cry through all the feelings my heart was experiencing. I truly felt that he was in many ways acting as my safety chain: his companionship was keeping me from free-falling off the emotional cliff I was hanging from, keeping me from tumbling down into an abyss of grief. 

Please, Lord, I often prayed, don’t take him away from me! If he were to die too, I’d really fall apart emotionally.

Although my husband is the one God has given me to cling to, in good times and in bad ones such as this, in my grief I had begun to cling to him too tightly. 

Having experienced the depth of the pain that can accompany the loss of a close family member, I became terrified that God might ask me to go through that agonizing pain of loss again: this time without my husband’s presence and support. 

I had, metaphorically, wrapped both my arms around my husband’s waist and positioned myself between him and God, attempting to shield him from the one who holds the keys of death.

Related: When Earthly Marriage Feels Preferable to Heaven

Then, out of my prayer walked Abraham. He loved his son Isaac dearly, as I love my husband. And, just as I feared God would ask me, God really did ask Abraham if he would be willing to part with the one he loved! 

But whereas I had become fearful of what God might do, Abraham trusted the unsearchable wisdom within His plans. 

Even more courageously, he trusted that God had both his good and the good of his precious son in mind. And so, grounded in his faith, he stepped forward: “Early the next morning Abraham saddled his donkey, took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac, and after cutting the wood for the burnt offering, set out for the place of which God had told him.”

When God asked Abraham to fully entrust to him his beloved, he did. Although he still certainly loved Isaac beyond measure, Abraham allowed God to have the ultimate word in determining the course of his son’s life. And everything turned out not merely alright for Abraham, but very good! 

“Because you acted as you did in not withholding from me your son, your only one,” God told him, “I will bless you and make your descendants as countless as the stars of the sky and the sands of the seashore; your descendants will take possession of the gates of their enemies, and in your descendants all the nations of the earth will find blessing, because you obeyed my command.”

Here is where I believe the story of Abraham and Isaac has something great to teach us about marriage and family life. 

Like Abraham, I believe God wants to teach us not only to trust His plans, but also to entrust the lives and even the salvation of our loved ones to him. Abraham’s experience shows us that God has the best interests of both us and our loved ones in mind. We need not fear Him. 

This is the challenge put to us by Abraham’s example: will we let God love our spouse even more than we do? 

What if what is best for his salvation is death at a young age, a return to God sooner than we hope? If this is what God asks of us, are we willing to surrender our beloved to His embrace instead of our own? 

The same challenge holds with regard to our children. Are we willing to entrust them to God’s loving care, even if this means accompanying them through great sickness or suffering, or promising them on their deathbed that we will never forget them? What if God desires to hold our unborn child first?

Today, two years after our wedding day, one year after my encounter with Abraham, I sit writing and holding our sleeping daughter, our rainbow baby. 

Throughout my pregnancy with her, memories of our son’s death and fears that we would not get to meet her on this side of heaven would often surface in my mind.

But, to my amazement, responding to these fears with a prayer of entrustment really helped me remain calm, hopeful, and grounded in God, like Abraham was. 

Often this prayer was simple: God, I know you love our daughter even more than we do. I don’t ask that you keep her alive, because you know what is ultimately best for her, but please shelter her in your arms and protect her from all evil.

As my pregnancy progressed and I entrusted her more and more to God, I found that I became not detached from her but instead much more able to bond with her and embrace every moment I was given to share with her on earth. 

Eventually, I even became able to act with faith, as Abraham did when he saddled his donkey. I became able to prepare materially for her birth, something I had been reluctant to do out of fear that she, like our son, might die before we met.

I encourage you to consider accepting Abraham’s challenge. I hope that you too find tremendous peace and strength in entrusting to God the people you love most dearly, remembering always that He loves them even more.

“Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

---

About the Author: Erin Buchmann enjoys morning walks, quiet evenings at home, and knitting whenever she can find the time...and two free hands. She and her husband are the parents of two little miracles and guardians of one little cat.

Contemplative Love--A Comfortable Silence

STEPHANIE FRIES

I remember the silence of an early date with my now-husband.

PHOTOGRAPHY: EMMA DALLMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

It was the first time we made pizza together at my apartment in Washington, DC. At the time, we were somewhere between all the initial get-to-know-you-phase and the we’re-comfortable-enough-to-talk-about-anything-relationship. 

As we stood back-to-back, each taking responsibility for a slab of dough, there was a lull in conversation that lingered for several minutes. 

Silence can be filled with awkwardness and anxiety, no doubt. But not this one. (Not for me, at least.) I remember feeling comfortable and content in the silence.

I was filled with gratitude that I could be there, making dinner with a kind, good-looking gentleman, void of the pressure to keep a conversation going. 

Obviously, this visceral memory has stayed with me over the years and through many transitions. While recently reading an article about the process Lectio Divina--reading and listening, meditating, prayer, and contemplation--the following excerpt brought this memory back to mind:

"Finally, we simply rest in the presence of the One who has used His word as a means of inviting us to accept His transforming embrace. 

No one who has ever been in love needs to be reminded that there are moments in loving relationships when words are unnecessary. It is the same in our relationship with God. Wordless, quiet rest in the presence of the One Who loves us has a name in the Christian tradition--contemplatio, contemplation. 

Once again we practice silence, letting go of our own words; this time simply enjoying the experience of being in the presence of God."

Though I had experienced being in the presence of God before I started dating Geoff--in Mass and in prayer--that contemplative posture was not something I sought out or craved. I wasn’t aware my heart needed moments of “quiet rest in the presence of the one who loves us.” 

Learning to love Geoff and learning to let myself be loved by him opened new sensations in my heart. I was awakened, for the first time in my life, to my desires for Eros.

The experience of silently making pizza in the presence of Geoff helped me realize how much I crave being in the presence of Love.

Our dating relationship journeyed through many ups and downs before we discerned our shared desires to pursue a vocation to marriage together. The years of dating and separation were less about how we fit in each others’ lives, however, and more about where God fit in each of our lives. 

I learned about my heart through Geoff. That knowledge was a catalyst for my heart to seek God. And the more I pursued God, the more my heart was aflame to love and be loved by Geoff. The cycle continued (and still continues). 

This unity between husband, wife, and God is so rich and beautiful. As the relationship between husband and wife grows stronger, the relationship with God simultaneously grows stronger. As individuals continue growing in their personal intimacy with God, they will naturally build deeper intimacy with each other. This is the mystery of love; a love that is free, total, faithful, and fruitful. In this way, the fruits of love are not only children, but also a deeper love and stronger virtue. 

Now that my husband and I live in the same home and are raising a daughter together, we have to be intentional about creating moments to be silent in each others’ presence, simply for the sake of enjoying the experience. It’s too easy to talk about the happenings of the day, to turn on the TV or music, or to stay busy with chores around the house. 

Similarly, I have to be purposeful in scheduling moments to pray. Left to its own devices, my schedule will quickly overflow with commitments and demands, pulling me away from a posture of contemplation. 

Every heart is designed, by God, to love and to be loved. Whether we know it or not--whether we admit it or not--we long for silence, rest, companionship and intimacy. We yearn to be seen and known by Love. 

Make the time and space to enter into the silent presence of the ones and the One who loves you. Make the time to “enjoy the experience of being in the presence of God.”

---

About the Author: Stephanie Fries is Spoken Bride’s Associate Editor. Stephanie’s perfect day would include a slow morning and quality time with her husband and daughter (Geoff and Abby), a strong cup of coffee, and a homemade meal…with dessert. Read more

INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Eucharistic Adoration: The Best Marriage Prep

KATHERINE FINNEY

When I was in college, I took a class called Christian Marriage. There are many nuggets of truth I still remember from that class, almost nine years after I took it, and one of those is the reality that marriage preparation begins way before engagement.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MEL WATSON PHOTOGRAPHY

This is not a really novel idea. In fact, even if you’ve never heard this statement before, you could probably understand why and how it can be true. Marriage preparation begins as early as (and even earlier than) infancy. 

From the beginning of our lives, we are given opportunities to accept and understand our vocation to holiness. Our parents or the people who raise us teach us what love is (and often, what love is not). Our surroundings and the people we know all contribute to our preparation for our vocations to single, married, religious, or ordained life (and ultimately to our greatest vocation of holiness and unity with God in heaven). 

That is why I’m suggesting that all of us, particularly those of us who are single and discerning our vocations on earth, do our best to make Eucharistic adoration the foundation of our everyday lives.

Here’s what I’m thinking--if our surroundings and our actions leading up to our vocation to marriage all contribute to our marriage preparation, it would only make sense to make Eucharistic adoration the center of all of it. 

We certainly can (and probably should) try to educate ourselves on the theology and philosophy behind Christian marriage. We should also do our best to really try to understand the challenges and blessings that arise in the life of a Christian married couple.

But ultimately, the one thing that will truly center us on our vocation to heaven is spending time with Jesus. 

If the Eucharist is really the source and summit of the Christian life, there is nothing that can prepare us better for our particular vocation to married life than spending time in the presence of the Eucharist. It’s that simple.

I don’t feel like I need to give you a lecture about why or how you should make time to spend with Jesus in the Eucharist (partially because I’m not always great at this, and partially because we’re still in the middle of a pandemic and many of us can’t even be near Jesus in the Eucharist), but what I can offer is my own experience. 

Eucharistic adoration has always been what has brought me back to a thriving relationship with God. 

When I was a freshman in high school, I experienced my first Eucharistic adoration, and the instant Jesus was brought onto the altar I knew my life was never going to be the same. 

When I was in college, if I was homesick or stressed, going to Jesus’ presence in the Eucharist always made me feel like I was home. It was the one place I could go to ease my anxiety. 

Almost every morning for the first year of my first job as a teacher, I stopped to pray in the Eucharistic chapel; I needed to start my day centered and feeling calm, so it was the perfect place to fill up for the day.

When I got engaged, it was in front of Jesus’s Eucharistic presence exposed in the monstrance. I think my husband knew that I’d want to make what would probably be the biggest decision of my life in front of Jesus.

It didn’t bother me that it seemed like a Catholic cliché to get engaged in adoration. It was just what my heart wanted and needed.

My husband and I decided that for the night of our wedding rehearsal, we would start the night off in Eucharistic adoration. Thankfully one of his best friends and groomsmen was a deacon at the time and was able to expose the Eucharist for us. 

All of our closest friends and family, the people who would be standing next to us on the altar on our wedding day, were there before the Lord that night. We prayed together and were all gathered with the intention of truly centering our hearts on the real reason for the love we were about to celebrate.

Our love for Jesus in the Eucharist has carried over into the way we live out our Sacrament of Marriage. 

It makes sense that the decisions we make and the surroundings we have growing up all play a part in our preparation for our earthly vocation. If Eucharistic adoration isn’t yet a part of your routine, I highly recommend that you make it a regular part of your life. 

Whether you’re single, married, discerning religious life, or confused about what is the right path for your future, spending time with Jesus and soaking in his presence will always be just what you need.

---

About the Author: Katherine (Schluter) Finney is proudly from New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Nashville, Tennessee while her husband Jonathan finishes fellowship training. She and Jonathan have two daughters, Miriam (3) and Joan (18 months). Kat taught high school religion for four years and has worked for Catholic high schools for six years. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, and she spends most of her time styling hamster play-doh hair and cooking some kind of creole dish for dinner.

INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

Turning to the Eucharist When Physical Intimacy is Complicated

KIKI HAYDEN

If you, like me, are in a situation that doesn’t allow full sexual union with your spouse, you are not alone. You are worthy of love and fidelity, and your marriage is a beautiful icon of God’s graces. Through prayer, this cross can bring you and your beloved closer to Jesus and each other.

Whatever the reason for abstaining, and no matter how long the period of abstinence lasts, know this: your marriage is blessed—with or without sexual intercourse.

Photography: Amy and Kyle Catholic Photography

God provides graces through the sacrament of marriage, even when sexual intercourse isn’t an option or doesn’t work for some reason. The Catholic Church teaches us that sex is a gift from God, which means we are not entitled to it nor is it required of us. And the good news is that through prayer, God can provide all the graces of a physical sacrament even when the sacrament is not available to us. This is true of the Eucharist, and I strongly believe it is also true of sexual intercourse in marriage.

There are many reasons a couple may abstain from intercourse. The beautiful (and healthy!) practice of Natural Family Planning calls for couples to abstain periodically when they do not feel called to seek pregnancy. For some couples, the fertile window is narrow, but for women experiencing irregular menstruation due to difficulty ovulating, the fertile window may last a long time. Military couples are keenly aware of the trials of long term abstinence when one spouse is deployed far away. For some couples, attempts at sexual intercourse do not go as planned and must be left unfinished due to pain or physical limitations. 

Related: One wife’s testimony of fidelity and growth through extended abstinence

In such cases, the Lord calls us to be compassionate with our partners and ourselves. For couples suffering from sexual pain or dysfunction, this period of abstinence may last a long time and occasionally is indefinite. If you are in such a situation, don’t lose hope. The Lord still blesses your marriage abundantly.

Let’s pause to look at another act of physical intimacy: the Eucharist. Jesus allows us to eat His body and blood, soul and divinity. He gets stuck between our teeth. He travels throughout our body to literally nourish us with His own. What could be more intimate than this?

And yet God is not limited or defined by the sacraments. Not even the Eucharist.

There are, unfortunately, many reasons not to attend Mass: work schedules, sickness, lack of access, persecution. And most of us have experienced the absence of the physical sacrament of the Eucharist during the 2020 pandemic.

Does this separation from the Eucharist somehow invalidate our relationship with Jesus or deem it “un-sacramental”? Of course not. As with physical expression of our sexuality, the Eucharist is a gift, not a right. When we truly desire union with Jesus, He can overcome any obstacles to bring us the graces of the sacrament. He can even overcome the obstacle of abstinence itself.

An act of spiritual communion begins with an ardent desire to be united with Jesus. A favorite is this Prayer of Spiritual Communion written by Saint Alphonsus Liguori. Of course, anyone can say a prayer of spiritual communion using their own words. Pope Saint John Paul II wrote, “The practice of “spiritual communion”… has happily been established in the Church for centuries and [is] recommended by saints who were masters of the spiritual life.”

According to Saint Thomas Aquinas in Summa Theologiae, III, “In another way one may eat Christ spiritually, as He is under the sacramental species, inasmuch as a man believes in Christ, while desiring to receive this sacrament; and this is not merely to eat Christ spiritually, but likewise to eat this sacrament.” Fr. Michael Gaitley sums up this teaching of Aquinas beautifully in his book Consoling the Heart of Jesus: “A person who fervently makes such a prayer of spiritual communion can receive the same grace as one who fervently receives Sacramental Communion!”

If God can overcome our abstinence from the Eucharist, He can also overcome our abstinence from sexual intercourse in marriage. Abstinence, even for extended periods of time, does not invalidate a marriage nor somehow “block” God from giving a couple the full graces of the sacrament.

I propose a new kind of prayer, modeled on the act of spiritual communion: the act of spiritual union.

This is a prayer for spouses in a time of abstinence, whether by choice or forced circumstance, whether briefly or for extended periods of time. Here is an example that my husband and I pray frequently:

“Lord, we believe You have called us into the vocation of marriage. Although we do not have access to physical intercourse right now, we trust in You. Please grant us the full graces and unity of marriage so our love for each other may bring us closer to Your Sacred Heart.”

This prayer may not take away the pain and longing spouses feel during a time of abstinence. But it can certainly bring a marriage closer to Jesus. And growing in faith together is a beautiful way to live out the vocation of marriage.

One last thought: if you and your beloved struggle sexually or are in a period of extended abstinence, remember that the Holy Family, the very model of marriage, was an abstinent relationship. The Virgin Mary and Joseph her Most Chaste Spouse can pray with you and for you.

---

About the Author: Kiki Hayden is a freelance writer and bilingual Speech Therapist living in Texas. She is a Byzantine Catholic. 

BLOG | INSTAGRAM 

It's Okay that NFP is Hard.

BRIDGET BUSACKER

“It’s like the honeymoon phase, over and over again.”

But, what if it’s hard? What if the season feels unending and the sacrifice of Natural Family Planning (NFP) can feel like it’s pulling your marriage apart rather than together?

Photography: Laurentina Photography + Video

But, if it feels scary or intimidating, it’s okay. You’re not alone, physically or spiritually.

What does this mean? It means that there are providers to walk with you to help you learn a method and ask questions (or to switch if the method or individual you’re working with just isn’t a good fit).

It means there is support available through great therapists. It means that Jesus understands the ache, the pain, of giving and hurting and—ultimately—loving to the end.

When we sugarcoat NFP, we sugarcoat the cross. We miss the mark of its purpose and we forget the true nature of NFP. It is a tool meant to sanctify us. It’s not meant to make everything comfortable and easy because we are not made for comfort in this life, we are made for greatness to become saints and to shed ourselves of the vices we struggle with and the sins we commit.

We can’t do this only with our spouse. We need Christ at the center. When we practice NFP, Jesus must be at the center of our marriage, so that when the storms come and the hardships hit us, we not only find ways to lean into each other, we lean into Jesus - the One who knows suffering so deeply and knows what it means to suffer out of love, too.

Romans 12:1-2: “I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.”

Our bodies are a living sacrifice of love to each other, to God, in the great mystery of sex and the “yes” we give when we are open to new life. NFP asks us not to be conformed to this age of birth control, but to the renewal of love as God intended it and created us for. It challenges us to live out a love of responsible parenthood, abstinence during the fertile phase, discernment, prayer, and asking God to be actively a part of your sex life.

These are not easy or light—these can sometimes feel like great burdens to carry, but remember that Christ took it upon Himself to carry your burdens, your ache, your hurt on his way to Calvary, ultimately being nailed to the Cross to make us new.

NFP is capable of making us new, encouraging us to grow in virtue, and challenging us to grow in love.

Not a romantic comedy kind of love that promotes quick flings, fast relationships, and cheap sex, but rather faithfulness, permanence, and abiding love physically and emotionally with your spouse.

So, when we say that NFP is easy or beautiful, it’s true; it can be. But, if you’re struggling or find it hard, that’s okay, too. It means your love is being refined and, although not fun or comfortable, you are being asked to participate in the greatness of real, deep love.

---

About the Author: Bridget Busacker is a public health communications professional and founder of Managing Your Fertility, a one-stop shop for NFP/FABM resources for women and couples. She is married to her wonderful husband, David, and together they have a sweet daughter.

INSTAGRAM

The Beautiful Wounds | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

Managing Your Fertility | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER | FACEBOOK

The Surprising Activities That Prepared Me for Marriage

STEPHANIE CALIS

Vocation is truly a school of love.

My husband and I spent our engagement taking in a range of books and talks on marriage, determined to prepare for our life together with intention in purpose. To our surprise, though, so many activities seemingly unrelated to marriage prep revealed a new depth of our personalities and habits to one another, in a more tangible way than any book could teach.

As you anticipate your life together, don’t rule out the daily tasks and hobbies that can facilitate communication, problem-solving, and deeper knowledge of your beloved! Here, the activities that helped shape our married life.

Shopping for your future home

Even when you’re compatible at the deepest levels, most couples’ décor tastes aren’t identical--a fact that might not come to light until you’re preparing for your first home together. The day I brought home rose-colored hand towels I’d (impulsively, if I’m being honest) fallen in love with, my husband raised a wry eyebrow. They looked like something I’d have bought for the apartment I’d shared with female roommates before we were married, he said. 

Sometimes humility hurts, but he was right. Picking out items for your home--and more so, assembling them--is an exercise in compromise and honest discussion. But it’s exciting, too, to embrace opportunities to dream together about your future dwelling and the tangible items that will fill it.

Related: Explaining why you’ve chosen not to live together with an appeal to the heart.

Cooking

Are you and your beloved follow-the-recipe-exactly types, or more creative in the kitchen? Do you tend to stick with true-blue favorites or constantly seek out new meals to try? How do you feel about delegating specific tasks to one another?

Since our dating days, my husband and I have loved to cook together. Amid the many sweet memories, though, our time in the kitchen has uncovered the areas of my heart that are reluctant to give up control, encouraging me to grow in trust even through the mundane acts of chopping and measuring. I’ve come to realize--and still find myself constantly reminded--that another person’s manner of doing things differently than me is just that: different, not wrong or bad. 

Games

Competitiveness, risk-taking, reacting to success or disappointment...board games and sports have a way of revealing the subtleties of who we are. My husband and I are opposites in this area; as a majorly non-competitive person (I honestly don’t care much if I lose or win!), I enjoy seeing him pursue excellence and model healthy competition and sportsmanship to our children. During our engagement, when we’d play cards with his siblings nearly every weekend, being on the same team was hardly a more apt metaphor for our relationship--a time to strive together, appreciate one another’s skills, and be gracious and affirming with each other’s moves and strategies.

Related: Spoken Bride editors share the hobbies they (and their husbands) love

Planning your honeymoon

I wish I’d known this before marriage, but anticipating one another’s travel habits is something I’ve only recognized in hindsight. On our honeymoon and subsequent first trips together, my husband and I discovered our differing views on matters like how soon to be through security and settled before a flight, how to balance rest and sightseeing in our destination, how much spending was appropriate, and how much of our trip we wished to share on social media during and after. Discussing expectations ahead of time, we now know, sets us up for a harmonious time.

Related: Meet the couple whose intentional, prayer-filled engagement led to relationship coaching and a unique marriage ministry

 As I reflect back on these unexpected sources of preparation for marriage, I recognize my own littleness. Even years after engagement, I marvel at, struggle with, and grow with all the facets of who my husband is; purified, sanctified, and deeply known in all the details and acts that come together to make a shared life. It’s reassuring, and humbling, to know readiness doesn’t end at the altar: “Woman is given to man so that he can understand himself, and reciprocally man is given to woman for the same end. They are to mutually affirm each other’s humanity, awed by its dual richness.”

---

About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

BOOK | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Cooking through the Liturgical Year

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

As a newlywed, I struggled with how to incorporate liturgical living into our lives. The traditions I was familiar with, crafts and storybooks and the like, are geared towards teaching children about the saints and the seasons of the church year. We had received an Advent wreath as a wedding present, but, beyond that, I didn’t have a vision of how to anchor our lives into the church year; we didn’t have a list of family patrons whose feast days we desired to celebrate and I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of feast days that we could celebrate.

After a few years of floundering--including several before our son was born when I made my convert husband put out his shoes for St. Nicholas, since he didn’t get to do that as a child--I’ve started to think about participating in the liturgical year in a simpler way. This practice will undoubtedly get more complex as our family grows, but an easy way for me to think about living liturgically right now is through our menus, choosing simple foods like soup and bread during penitential seasons and going all out during feasting seasons. Here are some cookbooks our family has tried that help me do just that.

Advent

12 Months of Monastery Soups by Brother Victor Antoine d’Avila-Latourrette

I discovered this cookbook at the library one fall when we were part of a vegetable co-op through my husband’s work. With its recipes grouped by month and focused on using seasonally available produce, it quickly became a staple in my meal planning rotation. All of the soups are simple, with just a few steps beyond chopping the produce, and some months even have soups named for particular saints. During Advent, any of the fall or winter soups, served with some bread and perhaps fruit, would make a delightful, filling meal that is both cozy and fitting for a penitential season. 

Lent

This Good Food: Contemporary French Vegetarian Recipes from a Monastery Kitchen by Brother Victor Antoine d’Avila-Latourrette Another seasonal cookbook from the same monastery, this one is also filled with recipes that are just as easy as the soups and don’t use lots of exotic ingredients, since the monastery aims to be as self-sufficient as possible. In this cookbook, Brother Victor also includes suggestions for how the monks would serve the dishes; the Italian frittata might be served with salad and fruit as the main meal on a fast day, for example. Using seasonal ingredients is often more cost-effective, as they are in plentiful supply and therefore less expensive, which makes this a perfect cookbook to utilize during Lent, when many people try to make more money available for charitable giving.

Easter and Christmas: 

Holiday and Celebration Bread in Five Minutes a Day by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois

This is one of our favorite cookbooks for special feast days; like the original cookbook, the base dough recipes are simple and mix up in five minutes, but they are then used in a variety of recipes that range from simple to complex. One of our family favorites is the brioche dough; we’ve used it to make the Holiday Star Bread for Christmas and Easter, as well as making it the base for our king cake on Fat Tuesday and birthday danishes. I like having a few tried-and-true recipes for special feast days and holidays, and I’ve learned not to be afraid of attempting complicated recipes for special occasions, because practice makes those dishes easier to produce each time.

Drinking with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Holy Happy Hour by Michael P. Foley

This recipe book is a fun way for adults who drink alcohol to participate in the liturgical calendar; Foley has gathered drink recipes and paired them with brief biographies of saints and descriptions of feast days. The first section of the book is arranged by month, with another section of the book for the seasons of the church year, so you have lots of options for how to approach this style of liturgical living. He does use the old pre-Vatican II calendar because there are more saints’ days on it, but there is an appendix in the back that allows you to switch to the newer calendar, which is the one that most people use. The introduction explains how to use the book, which is excellent if you’re novice cocktail makers like us, and the author discusses how to temperately use the book. 

---

About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

INSTAGRAM

Spiritual Tune-ups for Couples

CARISSA PLUTA

Those of you who have musical abilities will know how important it is to have your instrument tuned periodically in order for the sound to remain melodious.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MEL WATSON PHOTOGRAPHY

If we put that much care and effort into maintaining our piano or guitar, how much more time and energy should we invest in maintaining the spiritual health of our marriages?

We don’t want to wait until we hit a season of difficulty or desolation in our relationship before taking the steps necessary to evaluate and meet our spiritual needs. 

Taking time with your spouse for a “spiritual tune-up” can benefit both married and engaged couples and can strengthen your relationship for the long-term. 

Talk about your spiritual life

This first one may seem obvious, but it may surprise you how easy it is forgotten. 

You can share what God has been saying to you in prayer, or ask your spouse questions about his prayer life. This can lead to deeply edifying discussions and makes for interesting dinner or date night conversations!

Talking about your prayer life is helpful for couples to better understand the spiritual needs of each individual and the marriage as a whole. It also helps foster a deeper emotional intimacy between you and your husband. 

Related: Questions to Foster Emotional Intimacy

Head to Confession

As a sacrament of healing, Confession grants the faithful necessary graces for avoiding sin and growing in holiness, which is why going to confession at least once a year is considered a tenant of our faith. But why wait? This grace is available to you as often as you want to take advantage of it. 

My husband and I try to go to confession together once a month. We usually do it on a Saturday and make a little date out of it by grabbing coffee and donuts afterwards. 

Going to confession with your spouse can be a great way of being more intentional with maintaining the spiritual health of your marriage. 

Incorporating an daily examen into your routine will also help you become more aware of the spiritual realities constantly at work in your life, while better preparing you for your next trip to the confessional!

Go on a Retreat

For many couples, the Engaged Encounter Weekend is the first and last retreat you and your husband go on together but it doesn’t have to be.

Devoting a day, or even a whole week to spending time in prayer can leave you feeling spiritually refreshed and renewed, and can help you dive back into your daily tasks with a greater fervor and love. 

While you could choose to go on separate retreat weekends or plan your own personal one, you may also consider attending a retreat designed specifically for couples. 

Read a spiritually enriching book

Reading books from great theologians, philosophers, and (current or future) saints can greatly benefit those striving for holiness and a relationship with Christ. And luckily, the Church offers us a treasure trove of spiritual classics from which to learn. 

Reading a spiritually-enriching book can help build up the intellectual foundation of your faith, while also giving you practical tips to apply these topics in your life and marriage. It can also offer encouragement in your vocation and journey toward heaven.

You and your spouse might choose to spend time reading the book together during the week, or read it on your own time and then discuss the major takeaways. 

Related: Check out some of our reading recommendations for couples. 

Consider Counseling

Counseling isn’t just for individuals and marriages that are actively facing a major problem. In fact, most experts would say that couples should seek therapy long before they think they need to. 

Counseling provides couples with tools and techniques to help them improve communication, conflict resolution, physical and emotional intimacy, and more--all of which can greatly impact the spiritual health of your relationship. 

---

About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

BLOG | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

A Vocation Story | Kat

KATHERINE FINNEY

For the majority of my adolescent life, I believed I was called to religious life. 

Whenever I heard the song, “Here I am, Lord” I believed it was written for me, about my call to religious life.

PHOTOGRAPHY: KASSONDRA PHOTOGRAPHY

Growing up, most of my friends considered me the “holy” or “faithful” one. I was the one no one wanted at their birthday party, because I was the “goody-good,” the one with a strict moral compass. If I didn’t do it, who would? Jesus said, “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few.” Of all of the young people I knew, someone had to step up to the call of religious life. If it wasn’t going to be me, who would it be?

This sense of obligation, this fear of doing the wrong thing was, unfortunately, one of the greatest factors that led me to believe marriage couldn’t be the right path for me.

Along with the sense of obligation, I thought I knew very few “holy” (or what I believed to be holy) married couples in my adolescence, and I had made very poor relationship choices in high school; with this in mind, I believed marriage was a recipe for failure. I just couldn’t understand why anyone who really wanted to be a saint would want to get married.

The day after I graduated from high school, I went on a discernment retreat with the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia in Nashville. They’re contemplative teachers. I felt called

to teach, and I frequently prayed for hours a day in adoration. I am also the daughter of a musician, and music is a passion of mine. If there was an order for me, this was it. 

When I went on retreat, however, I felt so uneasy and restless. I spoke with one of the sisters about my concerns. She pointed me to the story of Simeon. He waited his whole life at the temple to meet Jesus. When he met him, he knew immediately that this was the one he’d been waiting for. She prayed with me that I’d have my own “Simeon moment” when I encountered the vocation to which Jesus was calling me.

That whole summer after high school was filled with fear about the future. Would I be abandoning the call for more laborers in the vineyard if I didn’t join a religious order right away? Was I running away from my calling because I had one restless weekend on a “come and see” retreat? 

Even as I felt all of this fear, Jesus reminded me of his devotion to me. In my scariest times of discernment, in my biggest heartbreaks, he was there. He listened, he quietly nudged, he always kept his heart open to mine. With frequent, almost daily adoration and regular reception of the sacraments, discernment, over time, became less about the big picture, adn more about the next step. Less about, “What is my vocation?” and more about, “Where do we go next, Jesus?”

Over time, my vocation discernment slowly drifted away from a fear of doing the wrong thing to a movement forward in love.

After I discerned that perhaps I wasn’t called to religious life right out of high school, I started dating my first serious boyfriend. He showed me that love can be pure, an idea that was wounded by my high school relationships. He took me on the coolest, most extravagant dates, showing me that I was loved and deserved better than what I had been looking for. Jesus used him to heal some of my deepest wounds and fears about marriage. Ultimately he was not the right person for me, but he was the next right step in my discernment process.

I dated another person in college, and when that ended I was heartbroken for a while. But Jesus was there in adoration, listening, nudging, whispering that he had something great in store in his timing. Months later, I met my (now) husband, Jonathan. 

On our first date, I had a moment when I thought, “I am going to marry this man.” There it was. My Simeon moment. I didn’t want to call it that because I was still pretty afraid of heartbreak. But underlying that fear there was a deep peace, a calm stillness, a confidence that I had never encountered before.

Three nights before Jonathan proposed to me, I had a bit of a meltdown. My sister had gotten engaged that day, and for some reason all of my fears about choosing the wrong vocation came flooding back to me. 

I knew Jonathan was thinking of proposing, so I wanted to express my fears to him. What if I am called to religious life? What if I chose the wrong vocation? Jonathan listened to all of my fears. He sat quietly for a while after I expressed them to him. He asked me how I felt when I’m with him. Do I feel joy when I’m with him? Do I have peace? He told me he’d never pressure me to be with him. And he told me that Jesus is in the peace, not in the fear. Jesus is the voice that speaks encouragingly to us, not condemning us for doing the “wrong thing” when we genuinely seek to do his will. I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking these words through Jonathan. Again, I experienced a Simeon moment. This is the person I want talking to me when I’m afraid. 

“Yes” to Jonathan was the next step. The peace was there, the fear was calmed. This, in my experience, is true vocation discernment.

---

About the Author: Katherine (Schluter) Finney is proudly from New Orleans, Louisiana, currently living in Nashville, Tennessee while her husband Jonathan finishes fellowship training. She and Jonathan have two daughters, Miriam (3) and Joan (18 months). Kat taught high school religion for four years and has worked for Catholic high schools for six years. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, and she spends most of her time styling hamster play-doh hair and cooking some kind of creole dish for dinner.

INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

The Parallel Paths to Holiness in Religious Life and Marriage

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

On the surface, In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden is about life in a contemplative Benedictine monastery in England. But at its heart, this novel is about the deep joy and peace that come from a vocation well-lived. 

PHOTOGRAPHY: BELINDA JEAN PHOTOGRAPHY

The fictional community is inspired by the author’s experience participating in the daily life of the nuns at Stanbrook Abbey, and the characters in the novel are just as life-like. The beautiful depiction of religious life doesn’t make me regret not becoming a nun, but rather affirms the many ways I strive for holiness in my vocation to marriage. 

Godden takes the personal stories of a few nuns--Philippa Talbot, a wealthy middle-aged civil servant, Cecily Scallon, a young woman who has fought her family to enter the community, and Dame Catherine Ismay, who is elected abbess early in the novel--and interweaves them with the story of the greater community. Their lives are set against the backdrop of the Church immediately before and during the Second Vatican Council (1962-5). The Benedictines have a vow of stability, but that does not mean there are no changes, and Godden’s lyrical prose draws the reader into the world of Brede Abbey as its 96 nuns navigate interpersonal and financial challenges within the “great cycle of the liturgical year with its different words and colors” (105).

The nuns of Brede Abbey are not caricatures or stock characters; their struggles are incredibly real, as is their faith. 

When Dame Catherine is elected abbess--a lifelong office--she panics, thinking of what will now be required of her; her only thought is “I can’t.” She goes to the church to draw strength from Jesus in the tabernacle, and “it was as if a quieting hand was laid on her panic; with her eyes on the small flame that had never gone out since the community came to Brede, she whispered, ‘I can’t,’ but it was acceptance now. ‘I can’t,’ whispered Dame Catherine, ‘so You must’” (165). 

Though few of us married women are able to have the Blessed Sacrament so close by, this episode is a reminder that communication with and abandonment to God ought to be our first recourse in the times of suffering and trial. What a beautiful response to a seemingly unbearable burden: she recognizes her inability to lead alone and asks for God’s help, which comes in many ways, both big and small.

Holiness for the nuns of Brede is found in doing their daily work in addition to spending time in prayer. The Rule of St. Benedict calls for monasteries to be self-sustaining, so there are many tasks, mostly mundane, that must be done for the community to function well, and every nun must attend to her assigned work with diligence: “‘We don’t put much faith in ecstasies here,’ Dame Ursula had told [the postulants]. ‘The nun you see rapt away in church isn’t likely to be the holiest. The holiest one is probably the one you would never notice, because she is simply doing her duty’” (55). 

Married life works in a similar way; a quote often attributed to St. Frances of Rome says, “A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household affairs.” Every time I do a sink full of dishes or my husband takes out the trash, despite whether either of us actually wants to do the work, we have an opportunity to grow in sanctity by serving each other and carrying out the duties of married life. The moments we are interrupted from pleasure to fulfill our vocational duty are opportunities to develop virtue.

These duties often change according to the season of life we’re in; newlyweds have different responsibilities than parents, for example. In addition, the transition from one season to the next can be difficult. 

Families thrive when individuals find creative ways to use their personal talents to benefit the entire family.

The same is true in religious communities: with the exception of abbess, the responsibilities of the nuns change periodically and all of the nuns are asked to use their gifts for the good of the community, even if it is uncomfortable. In Brede, Dame Philippa is asked to become assistant novice mistress after some Japanese postulants enter the community because she learned the language before entering the monastery; she takes on this position even though it means interacting with another postulant who is a painful reminder of a tragedy in her past. 

Throughout the novel, Godden comes back to the idea that true, lasting peace comes from living out the vocation that God offers us. But she understands that just because we are called to a particular vocation--marriage for most of us--we will not always be ecstatically happy as the world understands it. The novel begins with a description of the abbey’s motto that perfectly encapsulates this understanding: “The motto was ‘Pax,’ but the word was set in a circle of thorns. Pax: peace, but what a strange peace, made of unremitting toil and effort, seldom with a seen result; subject to constant interruptions, unexpected demands, short sleep at nights, little comfort, sometimes scant food; beset with disappointments and usually misunderstood; yet peace all the same, undeviating, filled with joy and gratitude and love. ‘It is my own peace I give unto you.’ Not, notice, the world’s peace” (3). 

No vocation comes free of suffering, but if we are where God calls us to be, doing our best to carry the crosses along the way, we too will know God’s peace.

---

About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

INSTAGRAM

"A Spouse Who Prays" | A Guide for Praying for Your Beloved

CARISSA PLUTA

Prayer is the best gift we can give our spouses.

PHOTOGRAPHY: TRUTH AND BEAUTY PHOTOGRAPHY

When a man and a woman enter into the sacrament of marriage, they enter into a sacred relationship, through which God can dispense His grace and divine life. 

Husbands and wives can strengthen this relationship through personal prayer, but also have a responsibility to help one another through intercessory prayer.

Intercessory prayer for your husband is a unique act of love and an active participation in the graces of the sacrament.

However, if you are like me, without a concrete intention to pray for--like an urgent request or difficulty-- intercessory prayer may seem difficult to approach.

I want to follow in the footsteps of the saints who prayed fervently for their spouse and want our marriage to fully reflect the light and love of our Creator, but I don’t always know how best to pray for my husband. 

Even after four years of marriage, I struggle to recognize and pray for his specific spiritual needs.

I craved guidance to learn how to pray for my husband well and I found a lot of support through Katie Warner’s book A Spouse Who Prays. This book offered an easy-to-use framework for fruitful intercessory prayer that will benefit both you and your husband. 

It is formatted as a weekly journal that takes the reader through praying for an increase in the theological virtues, the cardinal virtues, the fruits and gifts of the Holy Spirit, and more--all of which are vital to a healthy and holy marriage. 

Each virtue, fifty-two in total, is accompanied by a bible verse and a saint quote to reflect on, and a prayer you can personalize for your spouse. 

You can even use this book to create a spiritual bouquet for your husband by using the journaling spaces provided for each virtue and keeping track of the ways you’ve prayed for him during the week. When you’re done, you can give him the book as a tangible sign of your prayers and the grace God has poured out on him.

Carving out time each day to pray for the specific needs, especially the spiritual needs, of your beloved is a beautiful and efficacious way to deepen the graces given to you through the sacred covenant established on your wedding day.

Praying and opening your heart to the movements of the Holy Spirit is what will transform your marriage and let you and your spouse become saints.

---

About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

BLOG | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

A Tiny Chalice Balanced on your Finger

JAY ROSS

When I was asked by a fellow artisan if I could make a chalice for her son—whom she hoped, obviously, would become a priest, I immediately had a ton of questions. 

What metals can be used? Is there anything that can’t be used? How would I use my jewelry equipment to melt that much precious metal and then pour it into something so big as a chalice? After all, I am a jeweler—not a dish-maker! And even if I can make something like a chalice, am I allowed to according to the Church? 

There is actually a wealth of information on this, and it turns out chalices have a lot in common with wedding rings. Maybe more than you think.

PHOTOGRAPHY: EMMA DALLMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Much like wedding rings, it is preferred that chalices are made with precious metal. In the Ecclesia de Eucharistia, a document used for Instruction on liturgical norms, there is an explanation of these intentional preferences.

In addition, Saint John Paul II’s 2003 encyclical Redemptionis Sacramentum states, “Sacred vessels for containing the Body and Blood of the Lord must be made in strict conformity with the norms of tradition and of the liturgical books...It is strictly required, however, that such materials be truly noble in the common estimation within a given region, so that honor will be given to the Lord by their use, and all risk of diminishing the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharistic species in the eyes of the faithful will be avoided. Reprobated, therefore, is any practice of using for the celebration of Mass common vessels, or others lacking in quality, or devoid of all artistic merit or which are mere containers…”

As a sacred artist, these words are encouraging but not surprising. It’s amazing to read a governing church body advocate for artistic merit in Liturgical practice. 

Though God often has other plans for my life,  I have no intent of repositioning myself as a chalice maker After reading this document, I feel it is my duty to inform people of the similarities between chalices and wedding rings. After all, my calling is to make sacred objects of another type--one that nearly all faithful will wear at some point in their lives: wedding rings.

So I dug a little deeper into the question at hand—why must they be made of precious metal?

I asked my friend Carlos Sacasa, a Canon Lawyer and speaker on prayer and Catholic tradition.  He told me, “Yes, you can make a chalice, but the inner lining that touches the host and the body and blood of Jesus Christ has to be gold.”

“Why gold?,” I asked.

“It is a precious metal. Only precious metals are supposed to be touching the host; it is a sign of reverence. Usually the most traditional chalices are lined with gold.”

Now, there are some priests who may not choose this and use glass vessels instead.But the fact that using gold is a sign of reverence really stood out to me. 

I hear a similar question in my own line of work: Why must wedding rings be made of gold? Why not nylon? Why not titanium? The answer is the same as Mr. Sacasa gave me—it is a precious metal. It is a sign of reverence.

But there is something else. The gold in a chalice  is touching the host. 

Am I going to be so bold as to say that we are as precious as Jesus Christ, incarnate in the Eucharist? Not quite. However, I will remind you that we, the Faithful, are the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27). What touches our bodies as a sign and symbol of the marital sacrament should be held to the highest standard; especially in the gift that is crafted for a man and woman to reveal their union as one body in front of a congregation at a Holy Mass.

As we think more about the artistic merit, the form and function, of both chalices and rings, they are not merely containers. These are not utilitarian items. There should be craftsmanship and care that goes into their design! 

An extraordinary amount of intention and financial cost goes into the bride’s dress, the dessert (our cake was made with real fruit and flowers by an amazing Frenchman named Bruno), and the decor. Most of these wedding essentials are only enjoyed once or twice. The wedding ring is worn as a unique symbol every day beyond the wedding day. Make it more than a generic container. 

Finally, the occasion of the event requires a standard of reverence in the icons that represent the vows. The sacrament of marriage is a sacrament, and the sacrifice, that spouses perform—for better or worse, sickness or health, rich or poor—on a minute-by-minute basis. Wedding rings are the longest lasting reminder of your marriage vows and should therefore be holy. 

In the celebration of the Mass, Jesus offers his body, blood, soul and divinity to us through the Eucharist. The chalice is the means by which we receive his living sacrifice and participate with him in the sacrament. His offering of himself, as bridegroom, to his Church, the bride, is an image of marriage.

The parallel significance of the sacramentals to be created with precious metals—both a chalice and wedding ring—makes sense in light of the communion of persons and God’s call for holiness through the vocation to married life. 

Catholic wedding rings, if not all wedding rings, should be held as sacred reminders of this holy sacrament. 

Jewelry is a language; wedding rings not only represent but, more significantly, communicate a message of the value one holds about marriage. The wedding ring is sacramental, it is a visible, outward sign which communicates your sacrament to the world. Wedding rings are evangelizing.  

When intention, precision, sacrifice and discernment goes into the process of designing either a chalice or a wedding ring, all who encounter the gift will engage with reverence, with wonder and awe. As an ornate precious metal created either to carry the Body of Christ or to communicate the sacrament of matrimony, these products are holy. 

Something with such meaning and depth should be more than something you purchase off the shelf. Like the Chalice which brings the Church closer to the Eucharist, wedding rings help bring husbands and wives into a sacramental bond. Even more, they bring others into an encounter with Love himself. 

Scripture helps us understand the love God has for his people by creating a parallel with the love between a husband and wife. We are invited to take part in that creative, sacrificial act with Him! I encourage you to approach the sacramental artifacts of your marriage with the same reverence by which you approach the Eucharistic chalice on Sunday morning. By doing so, your marriage becomes a living sign of love: between husband and wife and between Christ and his Church. 

---

About the Author: Jay holds an MFA from the University of Central Florida. Jay and his wife Angie are Co-Founders of 31:Four Artisan Jewelry--an all-Catholic design and manufacturing studio based in the Orlando area. They are teaching the trade to their four children, who will be fourth-generation jewelers.

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

If We are to be Molded by the Creator, May we be Bent into the Shape of a Cross.

JAY ROSS

“When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.” 

I wish I had this quote included in my wedding vows. At the time, I was an evangelical Atheist, (far from the homeschooling Catholic I am now). I fought tooth and nail to remove all traces of scripture from my wedding.

If I could plan my wedding all over again, I would be as malleable to God as metal is to its maker.

PHOTOGRAPHY: JOY-MARIE MENDOZA PHOTOGRAPHY

Faith was absent from my wedding and every experience of wedding planning. That process did not yield the spiritual fruit that it could have—and should have. If you let it, you will be amazed by the fruits and graces that come with including God in every step of your marriage. 

I am a jeweler. When I make a wedding ring, the metal is heated to over 1,000 degrees celsius (1832 fahrenheit), banged many times with wood or metal, sanded and stripped away, and polished. For gold or platinum, the precious metals most often used for wedding bands, this is not a pleasant process. But the end result is pristine. 

As the creator, I guide the raw materials through a very difficult process to make something beautiful. In how many ways does God desire to do the same with my heart and soul as I am transformed through the sacrament of marriage? How often do difficult experiences form the beauty of our present lives? 

Now, I know, planning a wedding is hard. We were seniors in college, extremely active in a local advocacy group, and working in the jewelry business. We were inexperienced in the realms of adulthood and underprepared for the responsibilities and financial costs associated with planning a wedding. We never considered the lasting effects that could come with intentional planning. And we never anticipated the difficult impact from the common stressors of wedding planning either. 

Yet, over time, I have been refined. But I often wonder what kind of refinement could have happened sooner if I allowed myself to be formed by my Creator earlier in life and earlier in my marriage. 

To have been present in real time, within my wedding planning, I would have had solace in the times I needed it most. I would have realized my potential as a man and spouse before I approached the marriage altar. 

When we have a relationship with Jesus Christ and bring our difficult experiences to him—in prayer, in relationships, or in the Sacraments—he melts our hearts, strips away our burdens, and forms us into the persons he created us to be, into saints. 

As we think of ourselves as a precious metal waiting to be formed into something pristine, the process is not pleasant. I know it is especially hard in the moment to “offer it up.” Yet, we are invited to bring those difficult, painful experiences of refinement to prayer, into an intimate conversation with your Creator. 

God has formed me through my vows so I have a clearer vision of his design for my life, my marriage and my family. I encourage you to bring God to the center of your wedding planning--bring him into everything you do with, and for, your spouse. Not only will you grow closer to each other, but also closer to heaven. 

Ultimately, you are working with your beloved to bring each other to heaven; planning a wedding together can be a great opportunity to deal with stress, to approach sacrifice and suffering as a cross, and to be shaped and formed together. This is the process which creates the most beautiful offering you can present to Our Lord when death do you part.

---

About the Author: Jay holds an MFA from the University of Central Florida. Jay and his wife Angie are Co-Founders of 31:Four Artisan Jewelry--an all-Catholic design and manufacturing studio based in the Orlando area. They are teaching the trade to their four children, who will be fourth-generation jewelers.

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

The Dating Advice I Would Give My Younger Self

GENEVIEVE ALLEN

The man who was my last first date is not my husband.

But he was my type. Perfectly so. He was tall, dark, and handsome. He was college-educated, pursuing a career in a creative field, well-traveled, and a few years older than me. For our date, he took me to a fairy-lit garden full of live music, wine, and delicious food. He was wearing a light blue Oxford shirt, dark jeans, and a confident expression as we got to know each other over the mid-range red he selected for us.

On paper, this was the most perfect first date I’d ever had. This guy was Dream Date. So how did I end up married to someone else?

PHOTOGRAPHY: FIAT PHOTOGRAPHY

From the age of fifteen, I was almost always in a serious relationship. I dated a few people for long stretches at a time, even if I knew marriage would not likely be the end result. Throughout my decade of serial dating, I considered consulting books about dating with a spiritual perspective; I never read them. Finally, at the age of twenty-five, I decided to consult Jesus.

Weary, like the woman at the well who had had seven husbands but still felt alone, I approached Jesus and asked him to show me what I was doing wrong, and what I needed to do in the future. I saw the array of men I had dated and the attachments I had so easily formed, many of them still intact and causing me pain. Very clearly, I knew I needed to give my dating history over to God and carefully, prayerfully consider how to date going forward.

There was so much peace in my heart as I decided to date intentionally. I would never go on a second date if I couldn’t imagine marrying the person. I wouldn’t fearfully avoid any topics that were important to me: faith, marriage, and kids, for example. 

When I met my husband Dalton, I told him all of this upfront. On our first date at a greasy-spoon diner, I informed him that I would be dating other people, and why. He understood, which surprised me. I continued to see Dalton as I went on other dates. Sometimes I went on one date with a person, sometimes a second or third, but I made no commitments. 

At a Mardi Gras parade about a month later, I met Dream Date. In the parking lot after the date was over, he asked me on a second date. I surprised myself by gently saying no. In spite of the perfection of our date, several things had become clear to me over the previous months and on this date in particular.

Here is some advice I wish I could have given myself before I began dating: 

Age and maturity are related, but they are not the same.

One thing that surprised me about Dalton, my husband, is that although he is five years younger than me, he never seemed immature. In fact, if I tried to guess his age, I would have assumed he was at least as old as me. This was largely due to his quiet confidence and his sense of conviction about what he believed. Dream Date, on the other hand, wasn’t sure what he believed about anything, and he didn’t seem especially interested in figuring it out.

One person for whom age and maturity were related, at least in relationships, was me. It took me ten years and lots of heartbreak to learn how I needed to approach dating. In some aspects of your life, experience will be your best teacher.

You may need to discern. You should never need to wonder.

I wish I had known this. I wish every woman knew this and believed it. 

While dating, you may ask yourself many questions regarding whether you should begin or continue to pursue a relationship. The one question you should NEVER need to ask yourself, at least after a first date, is whether a guy likes you. If he is in any way worth your time, you will know. Even Dream Date, although he wasn’t right for me, was clear in his intentions about this.

Be clear about what you need and what you want in a marriage, and be willing to acknowledge the difference.

It’s crucial to know what you must have in a spouse and what is simply not important. It’s also crucial to know that you may be confused about this. Here’s a tip to help you clarify:

When considering qualities you would like to have in a future husband, make two lists:

The first list should be things you would like to see in him on a first date. Be honest and detailed in your requests. Does he have dark hair and kind eyes? Is he confident as he orders? Does he tell (modestly, and only when you ask) about the fact that he graduated summa cum laude with a Ph.D in 19th century British literature?

The second list should be things you would like to see in him at three in the morning on a night when one of your children is sick. Or when one of you has lost a job. Or when one of your parents has just died. Be honest and detailed in your requests. Is he patient and kind? Does he shoulder his portion of the responsibility? Is he willing to shoulder all of the responsibility if necessary? Can you see yourself laughing with him? Can you see yourself crying, with no makeup and in stained sweats? 

The first list is more fun to make. The second list is vital. Both are important. An ideal husband should have at least a few qualities from the first list, and all, or nearly all, from the second. Keep both lists in mind as you meet new people. Be open-minded, but hold fast to your convictions.

After my last first date, I called up Dalton and told him boldly that I wanted to see him. I had finally learned how to date, just in time to get married.

---

About the Author: Genevieve currently practices as a lactation consultant and blogs with her sister Kat Finney for The Sister Post, a blog offering two perspectives on everything from spiritual discernment to baby gear. Genevieve and her husband Dalton began dating on the feast of St. Joseph. They have two children.

INSTAGRAM | WEBSITE

Catholic Podcasts to Enrich the Vocation to Marriage

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

I was first introduced to podcasts as a newlywed, when we moved away from family for my husband’s job and entered a season of regular road trips up and down the East Coast. I was hooked and have since curated a selection of favorite shows that I’ve listened to during various stages of our marriage. 

I’ve listened as I drove through the Pennsylvania countryside for a volunteer job, as I waited throughout the long weeks of pregnancy to meet our son, and, now, as my toddler and I run errands in the car and do chores at home. I’ve chosen a few of my favorite, can’t-miss-a-new-episode shows for the next time you want some accompaniment in your day.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MADELEINE DEIGHAN PHOTOGRPAHY

Hobo for Christ

Whenever I’m in need of a boost in my spiritual life, I turn to Meg Hunter-Kilmer’s podcast. Meg is a former high school theology teacher turned hobo missionary, as she describes herself, who travels the world speaking about the Father’s love.

Her podcast consists mainly of recorded talks, as well as some interviews during her travels, but everything revolves around the central message of Divine love. The archives are full of gems, like her saint stories for kids and topics like how your personality type can inform your prayer life, all of which will encourage you in your pursuit of holiness through your vocation to marriage. 

One of my all-time favorite talks is Some are Teresa, because often we need reminders that authentic, faithful Catholic womanhood doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s especially easy during engagement and early in marriage to compare ourselves, our spouses, and our marriages to the marriages we see in our extended families, our parish family, and on social media, but God doesn’t call us to be carbon copies of somebody else. Meg provides examples of holy women throughout the centuries whose diversity of experience and calling can inspire us to holiness right where we are. 

Meg publishes new episodes sporadically, but she has been uploading them since 2015, so there are plenty of episodes in the archives. 

Risking Enchantment

This podcast is, to quote the show’s introduction, “a podcast about art, beauty, and the Catholic faith,” hosted by Rachel Sherlock and a variety of guests from Rachel’s Dublin apartment.

This podcast is a particular joy for me, a former English major, because of the way Rachel and her guests see reflections of Catholicism in beauty of all kinds. Whether they are discussing the hidden Catholic elements in Vermeer’s art, or the Catholic understanding of people that makes a good detective story, they have a keen ability to find the truths of Catholicism embedded in the world around them, which helps me be more attuned to find and create beauty for my family.

While a podcast episode about World War I might seem like a strange topic to suggest to a bride-to-be or newlywed, I highly recommend the episode Green Gables and the Great War.

Rachel and her friend Phoebe Watson (yes, Sherlock and Watson, although I don’t believe they solve mysteries) discuss Lucy Maud Montgomery’s novel Rilla of Ingleside and how doing one’s duty in challenging circumstances takes a particular kind of moral courage, which is also needed in marriage. Especially when the necessary day-to-day tasks of my life seem unpleasant or unwanted, Montgomery’s story of people who do their duty, no matter how difficult, out of love, inspires me to do better—much like St. Therese’s Little Way. 

Risking Enchantment usually has 2 new episodes per month, but they are worth the wait.  

American Catholic History

Despite the fact that I attended a Catholic high school, most of what I knew about the Church in America was pretty limited: I knew of a few American saints, that Maryland was founded as a haven for English Catholics, and that Spanish missionaries built the famous California missions.

Through this short podcast, hosted by husband and wife Tom and Noelle Crowe, I’ve been introduced to a treasury of people and places in the Church’s history: people completely new to me, like Daniel Rudd, a black Catholic journalist; people I knew, but didn’t know were Catholic, like Babe Ruth; and places I’d never heard of, like Mount St. Macrina, a pilgrimage site in western Pennsylvania that’s home to an order of Byzantine sisters. 

A few of the Crowes’ podcasts have been about American saints-in-the-making, including Servant of God Julia Greeley, who, after entering the Church in 1880, tirelessly helped the people of Denver, Colorado, often at night so they wouldn’t be embarrassed about receiving charity from a black woman. Although she never married, her story is a beautiful reminder to married couples that holiness can be found in the small or unacknowledged things we do for each other

American Catholic History has been published weekly since June 2019. 

I hope that these podcast suggestions are helpful, whether you want to grow in your spiritual life, learn to see beauty in unlikely places, or learn more about the history of the Church in America. If you’re looking for more podcast ideas, Features Editor Mariah Maza has shared a list of her favorites as well. Happy listening!

---

About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days homemaking, chasing her toddler son, and reading during naptime. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in Birmingham, Alabama.

INSTAGRAM